NationStates Jolt Archive

Hahaha! Hohoho.
Heres a brief history of my family.

Grandmother! Uber-Christian Nutjob! (Seriously, fundamentalists are scared of her.)

Grandfather. Dead. Burn in hell thatcher.

Mother. (You'll get the picture.)

Sisters father. Ran off with mothers best friend.

Father. Ran Over mother. (didnt die.) now works in government.

Father II. Heart attack 2 weeks after we move in. we lose our house and everything and his son runs off with all the money.

Father III. Sticks with us for 4 years and runs off with a Thai-Bride. No seriously.

Cousin Jack. Odd child... notices small things, dull as fuck but notices everything.

Cousin tom. Disowned for being gay. Kicked out on streets. (UBER religious grandmother.)

Mother: black sheeped for talking to cousin tom. we moved away back to england.

ect ect ect.

How fucked up is your family?

My family isn't that wierd. But my uncle has a thai bride. Well I don't think they're actually married yet.

My family is tediously boring and lower middle class. However my estranged but biologically true grandfather upon my mother's side is a figure of some mystique and allure:

-divorced my grandmother in acrimonious circumstances, both claiming an affair upon the other's behalf, however he is immensely succesful, influential, affluent and a freemason. Hence why I am attempting to forge a meeting (help may be required soon...)

Secondly, my great grandfather, now deceased, was conjecturally a conciencious objector in the second world war, however my senile great grandmother refuses to confirm or refute the above.

my family is militaristic, upper-middle class, and pretty awesome. mostly conservative family, most speak German(all speak English), most were(or still are) in the military, most are now business men(or women) AFTER serving in the military, yet at the same time they are all hilarious. and i USE to get lots of presents from them, but I guess I'm past that age.

my family is middle-class too.

To be honest im sure we owned land a while back. we just lost it.
i might be inbred :eek:

My extended family is much worse. I won't go into details, but my aunt is a sociopath, my mom is bipolar, my cousin has been on Jerry Springer (twice), my uncle is a redneck (okay they are all rednecks) who has 17 kids, one of my other cousins has killed an alligator with her bare hands and eaten it for dinner.... and my dad is creamated and now rests in a Jack Daniels bottle.

My family (me, hubby, and the girls) are almost normal, well as normal as you can be when daddy is a trekkie and mommy is me.

I won't even go into my in-laws :rolleyes: it's bad........crazy bad.

My extended family is much worse. I won't go into details, but my aunt is a sociopath, my mom is bipolar, my cousin has been on Jerry Springer (twice), my uncle is a redneck (okay they are all rednecks) who has 17 kids, one of my other cousins has killed an alligator with her bare hands and eaten it for dinner.... and my dad is creamated and now rests in a Jack Daniels bottle.

My family (me, hubby, and the girls) are almost normal, well as normal as you can be when daddy is a trekkie and mommy is me.

I won't even go into my in-laws :rolleyes: it's bad........crazy bad.
Honestly, everytime I read about your family I think "If this were a movie, nobody would believe it." Crazy.

I'm not sure what to put for the post (so I picked cookies!) but here is a rundown of my fam...

Grandmother (moms side): Psycho bitch (sounds very similar to yours), said my finace and I would have "brown" babies cause she's 1/4 Puerto Rican (I secretly hope they are to spite her and so that they won't be scary white like me)- she also once broke a 2x4 over my uncle john's rear...

grandpa (moms side): puppet of grandma

Aunt Beth (ms): first husband beat her, second cheated 3 times, now she lives alone w. 4 kids

My mom: divorced my dad and took us to live w/ above grandparents: rebellion ensues... now dating a HUGE redneck called "hippie" by his friends and my mom...

my bro: used to work for a drug dealer collecting money till his dealer was imprisoned... went to Navy boot camp, blew out hit knee - told me last thanksgiving that he "has done every drug but cocaine... and shrooms"

my dad: cheated on my mom for 8 years w/o anyone knowing. she finds out, leaves him, he marries his gf (and is thereby disowned by his own parents cause they loved my mom)

aunt cathy (dad's sis): Married bf b/c he got her pregnant... divorced shortly thereafter, about 5 years ago accused her dad of sexually molesting her as a child

Grandmother: (dads mom) - self proclaimed "unitarian", is scary to have meals with, stereotype southern bell in her youth who fears minorities... also left my grandfather 4 years ago after 48 years of marraige

Grandad: (dads dad): Found his father hanging in the living room at the age of 8, used to work as an engineer for NASA - is F****** loaded, but nobody ever sees the money... distrusts all government and religion: also used to send me pictures of old paintings showing women killing men as a "warning" to me when I was in college...

I would get into my cousins, but there are SO FRIGGIN many of them including two cops, a gay millionare who owns apt complexes in NJ, a marine, etc, etc

thats what ive got...

compared to the fam tho i'm pretty "normal" i guess

well, my family is definately above average compared to yours...

However, I won't go into specifics, because they want to keep privacy.

Jeez...and my family is positively normal. Well, I was scared out of relationships entirely until the age of 20 because of my parents' bitter divorce, and despite the fact that I said I would probably never wind up with someone like my mother, I pretty much did. My mother and I could have gotten along a lot better than we did during my teen years, but since I met my future wife, we have grown a lot closer.

My grandpa on my mom's side is a Republican, a pseudo-racist who has cleaned up his act in the past few years, and has a bizarre sense of humor. He's also who I will likely become in 50 years, albeit taller and more liberal.

My grandmother on my mom's side is less conservative, not really racist, but is oddly old-fashioned. She once told me I was too young to watch an R-rated movie...and this was when I was 18. I am 23 now and half the DVDs I own are R-rated...at least. She's cool, though.

My grandpa on my dad's side was an alcoholic for a good part of his life; he recovered either in the early 1980s or the late 1980s, depending on whom you ask. I never knew him as an alcoholic or a smoker, but when I did know him, he was a pretty nice guy, a hell of a golfer, and pretty good at pool. He also had a nice house in San Diego. He died in 2001, so just like my mom, I lost my first grandparent around the same time as a national tragedy (she lost her grandpa shortly before the Kennedy assassination; I lost mine shortly after 9/11.)

My grandma on my mom's side...don't get my mom started on her. I can't verify any of this as true, but apparently when my dad was 16, she sent him to live with his father, the alcoholic, and said she was dying of cancer. Years later, she contacted him and told him that she did not, in fact, die of cancer, but she had sent him away because she was trying to escape my grandfather, who was supposedly trying to kill her. Never mind that he was an alcoholic who could hardly hold a job, and never mind the fact that he had stopped giving a fuck about her a few years before. One story I can verify, since my dad told me, was that she had told him that they were moving to Little Rock, AK, after he finished school for the year. He went and told everyone at school this information. She then uprooted him and told him they were really going to Portland, OR, and that she had withheld that so that his father wouldn't hear of this.

I don't know what her deal is, really...she seemed nice when I met her, but apparently, when i was born, she was well aware that I was a boy, and she still send girl clothes (according to my mother.)

With my dad, nothing ever comes without a lecture. I went with him to Fort Myers, FL for vacation this past December, and my fiancee joined us. Well, for one day, we drove up to Tampa for some work thing, and I basically sat around with my thumb up my ass the entire time, and on the way back, I got a lecture about budgeting and jobs the whole time. THat coupled with not really knowing what the hell was going on, not eating, and having to go back the next day, and I would call it a big steaming pile of shit as far as vacation days go.

My mom, on the other hand, is easy to get along with. She works really hard as a traveling nurse, and she's also a student. Apparently, one of her friends and co-workers signed her up for a dating site without her knowledge or permission and then decided to tell her about it...no word on how many replies she got, but I don't think it matters; she told me she's too busy for a relationship anyway. She is pretty busy, for sure; her parents, who live close to her, are her biggest priority, along with her sons (myself and my brother, of course.)

My brother's busier than my mom, if you can believe that. He's a college student who has an even weirder sense of humor than my grandpa. He majors in engineering and quoting his friends and family and then adding them to his AIM profile. He onces quoted his girlfriend as saying that she likes to lick poopy off her fingers. Next time I see him, I have another addition to his collection - a quote from my cousin upon entering my new apartment for the first time: "It smells really good, like paint."

Hahaha! Hohoho.
Heres a brief history of my family.

Grandmother! Uber-Christian Nutjob! (Seriously, fundamentalists are scared of her.)

Grandfather. Dead. Burn in hell thatcher.

Mother. (You'll get the picture.)

Sisters father. Ran off with mothers best friend.

Father. Ran Over mother. (didnt die.) now works in government.

Father II. Heart attack 2 weeks after we move in. we lose our house and everything and his son runs off with all the money.

Father III. Sticks with us for 4 years and runs off with a Thai-Bride. No seriously.

Cousin Jack. Odd child... notices small things, dull as fuck but notices everything.

Cousin tom. Disowned for being gay. Kicked out on streets. (UBER religious grandmother.)

Mother: black sheeped for talking to cousin tom. we moved away back to england.

ect ect ect.

How fucked up is your family?

Are our families related?

Dad's motto was "I led three wifes". He couldn't be faithful to save his life.

Mom stuck with him for 20 years. All I heard during that time was that I was just like him (I'm female) and he was an @#&*@.

My half sister was a good Catholic, and had 10 children. One day she threw the whole thing over, became a witch and took up with a man 20 years younger than her.

My half brother was processed out of the Navy when they found out he was gay. He went to Leavenworth. My parents never would acknowledge him.

My stepbrother (from father's 3d wife) is gay. (I sometimes think that they watched my father's behavior and decided that if that was what being a man meant, they'd rather not).

My father molested me and attempted to molest my friends.

My mother's mother religion hopped. She was divorced once (in 1910s this was frowned on) and went off with another man for a while.

One aunt married an alcoholic.

Another aunt married a paranoid schizophrenic and had a paranoid schizophrenic son.

The one aunt who dared to be happy was always referred to by my mother as "the selfish one".

I think all families are screwed up.

Mother: Bipolar, can be the sweetest nicest person one moment. Then hit you with a shoe for no good reason the next.

Father: Quiet and hard working. It's sad how he gets taken advantage of at work.

Never had any brothers or sisters.

Grandfather: Gun nut, Jehova's Witness, divorced grandma after +40 years of marriage. Great man.

Grandmother: Beautiful in every sense of the word.

My mother's parents both died by the time she was 10. Her mother from a brain tumor and he father died in Vietnam.

Every cousin, except one, is arrested on drug charges and one on vehicular mansalughter.

My family is so average it's depressing.

my bro: used to work for a drug dealer collecting money till his dealer was imprisoned... went to Navy boot camp, blew out hit knee - told me last thanksgiving that he "has done every drug but cocaine... and shrooms"

Your brother sounds like a loser...

...I mean, he's never even done shrooms! :p

I read all these stories, and I'm thankful that while we tend to not get along too well, my extended family is almost eerily normal.

...Grandfather. Dead. Burn in hell thatcher....

Margaret Thatcher killed my Grandfather, too. Fucking bitch.

I'm the weird one in my family. ^_^

My (extended) family are criminal types. It gets me perks from time to time.

Hmm

Well I never knew any of my grandparents, but from what I have been told..

My paternal grandfather was a bully who beat his children and forced them to do menial tasks over and over (like closing the door 100 times) as punishments. He was very strict and authoritarian and after the death of my grandmother he remarried within a year and then tried to make my father aged 16 at the time to go around with his stepmother (take her to see films etc) because she was musch younger and was bored at home...all seems mighty odd to me

My paternal grandmother was an alcoholic.

My maternal grandfather was a nice guy apparently, who was totally and utterly under the thumb of my grandmother

My maternal grandmother has been described to me as being like a ship in full sail, a formidable woman etc etc.. she was tall, taller than my grandad, and VERY strict, in the victorian sense. She used to babysit my cousin and used to tie him to the banisters. she bullied and dominated the whole family.

My Aunt was a lesbian whos girlfriend stabbed my Mum in the back with a garden fork in front of me and my friend.

My Mum, who died 3 years ago, was a dominating and bossy woman, I loved her very much but she was not the worlds best Mum. She used to slap my face and hide my car keys if I came home late etc. she would lend me money and then tell everyone how I had no money and how she paid for everything, she would invite me and my kids to stay and not want us to go home and then tell people that she couldnt get rid of us, would accuse me in front of strangers loudly of showing off even when I was a married woman with 3 children. She manipulated and made my life difficult.

My Dad, well I always thought my dad was a fairly ok kind of guy, a bit weak but nice. After my mum died he became a different man, went out and did stuff that I was amazed by, I found him increasingly different until last year I found him in bed with a man half his age (me and my daughter walked in on them) There was a scene, and this guy came out with a string of allegations about me that I can't repeat, also about my daughter, my dad never once made any attempt to defend us or stop him. Later this guy called the police and told them I assaulted him and my father and then kidnapped my father and was holding him prisoner in his home. Then he called my fathers neighbours and Dr and told them the same thing. The police came and interviewed me and it turned out that this guy was a conman who had been grooming my dad for a huge scale scam, and I had come along and wrecked it. Two weeks later the guy attempted to blackmail my dad for £14,000, I never saw the letter as the police took it, but he was saying give me this money or I will tell people what happened etc etc The relationship with my dad is now very strained.

My exhusband, a piece of work indeed. Basically he has not seen his kids for months, has no interest in them at all and even mentioned in his divorce papers that they are cheeky and rude to him, when our daughter took an overdose he refused to come to hospital because I was there, he wont take them out because he says he has no money and when we see him, (he lives nearby) he ignores them.

I on the other hand am totally normal :D