NationStates Jolt Archive

Interesting question, looking for a range of responses. (And no, by no means is this an actual situation, just was thinking)

If someone gay pleasures you, does that make you gay in return? My vote is yes, but I am looking for other thoughts. There was once a discussion in a bar that I worked at, one was quite vocal that if you are receiving pleasure, you are not gay, but if you are giving the pleasure, you are.. Make sense?:fluffle:

not really. I don't think that actions make you gay, not that I would know.

not really. I don't think that actions make you gay, not that I would know.

I think actions DO make you gay. Sexual preference is 100% choice, thus if you choose to lie with someone of the same sex, you are THE definition of gay.

I think actions DO make you gay. Sexual preference is 100% choice, thus if you choose to lie with someone of the same sex, you are THE definition of gay.

how exactly is sexual preference a choice?

your actions are a choice, but your preference might not be.

I am thinking along the same lines as the last poster, although I am not 100% convinced preference is soley a choice, but that is a whole other debate.

your gay in my eyes if you like to "sleep" with men but not women (or at least don’t enjoy it) then again there is a homosexual who you wouldn’t see as any other normal guy and there is gay pleasure cruise

Interesting question, looking for a range of responses. (And no, by no means is this an actual situation, just was thinking)

If someone gay pleasures you, does that make you gay in return? My vote is yes, but I am looking for other thoughts. There was once a discussion in a bar that I worked at, one was quite vocal that if you are receiving pleasure, you are not gay, but if you are giving the pleasure, you are.. Make sense?:fluffle:

If you take pleasure in sexual acts with members of your own sex, I would consider that to be homosexual.

So, if you have straight sex, that automatically makes you straight? Even if you are attrackted to your own sex, and are nothing more than a homosexual in the closet? Or worse, in denial?

It's not the action, it's the attraction that makes the difference between homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual.

one was quite vocal that if you are receiving pleasure, you are not gay, but if you are giving the pleasure, you are..

Sounds like a case of denial to me.

Interesting question, looking for a range of responses. (And no, by no means is this an actual situation, just was thinking)

If someone gay pleasures you, does that make you gay in return? My vote is yes, but I am looking for other thoughts. There was once a discussion in a bar that I worked at, one was quite vocal that if you are receiving pleasure, you are not gay, but if you are giving the pleasure, you are.. Make sense?:fluffle:

The discussion makes no sense. However, your question is valid. For example, I go to an all boys highschool. Undoubtedly there are a few gay guys there. I happen to know a few. I also know that since I'm the only one who doesn't make fun of them or anything of the sort that I'm like their best friend and a couple of them have gay feelings for me. I have a girlfriend, so in my own case I would have to disagree with your own answer.

Sexual preference is not the same as sexual act.

Interesting question, looking for a range of responses. (And no, by no means is this an actual situation, just was thinking)

If someone gay pleasures you, does that make you gay in return? My vote is yes, but I am looking for other thoughts. There was once a discussion in a bar that I worked at, one was quite vocal that if you are receiving pleasure, you are not gay, but if you are giving the pleasure, you are.. Make sense?:fluffle:

I think there's a term for getting pleasure from gay intercourse without actually being gay, it's called bi-curious or something.

Anyway, I don't see how giving the pleasure would determine anything one way or another. A Catholic schoolboy is not gay because he gives oral to a priest, the priest is a pedo for receiving that oral.

I think there's a term for getting pleasure from gay intercourse without actually being gay, it's called bi-curious or something.

Anyway, I don't see how giving the pleasure would determine anything one way or another. A Catholic schoolboy is not gay because he gives oral to a priest, the priest is a pedo for receiving that oral.

Very good point....

So it seems to be consensus that if you give or receive pleasuring from someone of your own sex (by choice) then you do in fact have gay tendencies? This has turned into a rather good discussion.

Very good point....

So it seems to be consensus that if you give or receive pleasuring from someone of your own sex (by choice) then you do in fact have gay tendencies? This has turned into a rather good discussion.

Give could also just be for money, or as an act of kindness. It doesn't have to reflect tendencies in any way.

As for receiving pleasure, it depends whether the pleasure is coming from the act or the person performing it. Receiving pleasure from masturbation does not mean you have a hand fetish.

I would say if you seek out - explicity or implicitly - situations which might lead to same sex pleasure, yes, you've likely got some 'gay' tendencies.

But we don't have nearly as much control over our bodies as we think. I get a blow job from someone, there's going to come (hurhur...) a point where I don't have control of myself - sexual pleasure in that case has nowt to do with my preferences, and everthing to do with what's happening to my nerve endings.

Motivation = a person's sexuality, not sexual pleasure giving or recieving.

Elgesh']I would say if you seek out - explicity or implicitly - situations which might lead to same sex pleasure, yes, you've likely got some 'gay' tendencies.

But we don't have nearly as much control over our bodies as we think. I get a blow job from someone, there's going to come (hurhur...) a point where I don't have control of myself - sexual pleasure in that case has nowt to do with my preferences, and everthing to do with what's happening to my nerve endings.

Motivation = a person's sexuality, not sexual pleasure giving or recieving.

So basically, you wouldn't care if the blowjob came from a male or female, as long as someone there is giving it... That is what kind of confused me, one would almost think one could very much enjoy the "Beej" whether from male or female, without actually displaying a preference. I wish we could get an answer from FASS, who seems to know quite alot in the sexual realm...

Please don't think I am trying to be offensive to anyone of any sexual preference. This is an honest question, which someone at sometime has to explain to you... That's how everything is learned for the most part.

So basically, you wouldn't care if the blowjob came from a male or female, as long as someone there is giving it... That is what kind of confused me, one would almost think one could very much enjoy the "Beej" whether from male or female, without actually displaying a preference. I wish we could get an answer from FASS, who seems to know quite alot in the sexual realm...

I'd care a lot!!!!

But man - I can't control getting an erection under pressure like that! It's not likely I could indefinitely control finishing off, either... :P

it's a simple matter of biomechanics, to me; the interesting question is what lead up to the same sex blowjob, not the _results_ of getting one :)

Elgesh']I'd care a lot!!!!

But man - I can't control getting an erection under pressure like that! It's not likely I could indefinitely control finishing off, either... :P

it's a simple matter of biomechanics, to me; the interesting question is what lead up to the same sex blowjob, not the _results_ of getting one :)


This is my point exactly. There was a story in a local paper here about a guy that was inticed online to meet this beautiful woman, who sent him all these pictures, and she was a total hottie, but advised the man upon their text messaging that when he arrived, just to undress, and "she would be waiting for him there in the dark"... Apparantly, the guy arrived, this woman comes out of the other room with a towel over her head, in a robe or something concealing.. gave the guy a "beej" and then when it was over, darted back into another room... The story ended when the guy said he turned on the lights, and it was obviously a guy's apartment, (although they didnt specify, guess it had alot of guy stuff around.) In that case, I think the guy was stupid, but probably just enjoying the act, not really displaying a preference.

This is my point exactly. There was a story in a local paper here about a guy that was inticed online to meet this beautiful woman, who sent him all these pictures, and she was a total hottie, but advised the man upon their text messaging that when he arrived, just to undress, and "she would be waiting for him there in the dark"... Apparantly, the guy arrived, this woman comes out of the other room with a towel over her head, in a robe or something concealing.. gave the guy a "beej" and then when it was over, darted back into another room... The story ended when the guy said he turned on the lights, and it was obviously a guy's apartment, (although they didnt specify, guess it had alot of guy stuff around.) In that case, I think the guy was stupid, but probably just enjoying the act, not really displaying a preference.

Got it in one, for me - my exact views :)

This proves the bloke's an optimistic, gullible idiot, says nothing about his sexuality!

Elgesh']Got it in one, for me - my exact views :)

This proves the bloke's an optimistic, gullible idiot, says nothing about his sexuality!

agreed.. Lucky the person wasnt killed, although from the end of the letter I think they were scared into never trying that again...

It was from "Dear Dan", a segment from the Riverfront Times, although I am sure its probably a nationwide column...

You're not completely straight, no, if you keep having sex with men. And yes, being on any end of it still means you're having sex with a man. And completely straight men don't do that.

I've seen this before, this whole "down low" thing - deluded men who think they're less gay if they're the fuckers, or if they never suck. It's denial.

You're not completely straight, no, if you keep having sex with men. And yes, being on any end of it still means you're having sex with a man. And completely straight men don't do that.

I've seen this before, this whole "down low" thing - deluded men who think they're less gay if they're the fuckers, or if they never suck. It's denial.

Good answer. I think we were all kind of going in that direction, but no one was quite sure... Seems to match the consensus. Still an interesting topic.

Fass said it quite well. Any man engaging in any sexual relations with another man has gay tendencies about him.

As far as the guy in the RFT, I think he had a suspicion what was coming, unless he was 100% clueless.

So, if you have straight sex, that automatically makes you straight? Even if you are attrackted to your own sex, and are nothing more than a homosexual in the closet? Or worse, in denial?

It's not the action, it's the attraction that makes the difference between homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual.Seconded.