NationStates Jolt Archive

Welcome to "Politicians Say the Darndest Things."

This thread is all about stupid, funny, and silly quotes that come from our political leaders. If you have a funny quote from a person of political influence, post it here to so all of NS can enjoy their silliness.

Including some background information along with the quote is encouraged, as it often makes the quote even funnier.

By "people of political influence," I mean both politians themselves, and political correspondants on TV and the internet. People like John Stewart and Steven Colbert do not count because they are trying to be funny. Please, keep the quotes tasteful, and avoid using the quote to flame a politician or ideology.


To get this thread started, I shall provide the first quote:

This quote is courtesy of Jean Chretien. While the Canadian government had not yet come to a formal decision on whether or not to go to war in Iraq, Jean Chretien (the Canadian Prime Minister at the time) was asked what kind of proof he would need before agreeing to go to war with Iraq. He replied, "I don't know, a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof is a proof? A proof is a proof and when you have a good proof it's because it's proven."

My favourite was Bush's "I know that human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

and "The i-illiteracy levels of this country is appalling"

as well as "When you're working hard to put food on your family."

He is a trove of bon-mots and eloquent expressions. :p

"If a child learns to read he or her can pass a literacy test"
~George W. Bush

"REPUBLICANS UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF BONDAGE BETWEEN A MOTHER AND CHILD.-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican
family values


"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."-
Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live


"TRADITIONALLY, MOST OF AUSTRALIA'S IMPORTS COME FROM OVERSEAS"-
Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery


"THE INTERNET IS A GREAT WAY TO GET ON THE NET"-Republican
presidential candidate Bob Dole


"IT'S LIKE AN ALCATRAZ AROUND MY NECK"-Boston mayor Menino on the
shortage of city parking spaces


"I WAS RECENTLY ON A TOUR OF LATIN AMERICA, AND THE ONLY REGRET I
HAVE WAS THAT I DIDN'T STUDY LATIN HARDER IN SCHOOL SO I COULD
CONVERSE WITH THOSE PEOPLE"-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle


"I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SOME REPORTERS PAWING THROUGH OUR PAPERS. WE ARE THE PRESIDENT."-Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents


"WHEN MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE THROWN OUT OF WORK,UNEMPLOYMENT
RESULTS."-Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge


"CHINA IS A BIG COUNTRY, INHABITED BY MANY CHINESE"-Former French
President Charles De Gaulle


"THE LOSS OF LIFE WILL BE IRREPLACEABLE."Former U.S. Vice-
President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake


"THINGS ARE MORE LIKE THEY ARE NOW THAN THEY EVER WERE BEFORE."-
Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower



,

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!

Bushisms... gotta love them.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/piehigher.asp

"Well, I think if you have faith about these things, then you realise that judgment is made by other people."..."If you believe in God, [the judgment] is made by God as well." - Tony Blair. :(

"I hear there's rumors on the, erm...inernets, that we're going to have a draft"
Internets: Serious Business!

"Well, I think if you have faith about these things, then you realise that judgment is made by other people."..."If you believe in God, [the judgment] is made by God as well." - Tony Blair. :(
Yeah, as I was saying on IRC last night to an NSer who's a teacher, what would your reaction be if a child said that their decision not to do their homework was shared by God? :D