Did I do right?
Moto the Wise
02-03-2006, 19:42
For the last year or so I have been going out with a girl, whom I asked out. Over the time I kinda lost interest to be honest, and have been operating on auto-pilot for a while. I thought of dumping her several times, but to be frank I did not have the nerve (I myself have had a very bad break-up before, by my bitchy ex). I basically let things cool down for a while, trying to just end it by letting us drift apart. I thought it was working too, but just before Christmas she tried to give me one of those half-heart things necklaces :eek: . I believe I handled it well saying that due to factors beyond my control we could not see each other much so perhaps we should wait. She said yes. Now I just got a text message from her asking if I would be at skating on saterday (we both go there), so she could tell me something. I believe this is the end. I admit a certain amount of relief.
The question is: Was what I did 'right'? Morally and practically please. I am agonising over it. Thanks.
Europa alpha
02-03-2006, 19:43
No. NEVER EVER.
Yay i indirectly caused a thread :p
Meh, sounds like you did well
Willamena
02-03-2006, 19:43
If you want her to know how you feel, tell her.
In a way yes it was right, as you were trying to spare any upset, but in another way it wasnt right as you could have talked to her honestly and said that you dont feel the relationship is working and that you want to end it.
For the last year or so I have been going out with a girl, whom I asked out. Over the time I kinda lost interest to be honest, and have been operating on auto-pilot for a while. I thought of dumping her several times, but to be frank I did not have the nerve (I myself have had a very bad break-up before, by my bitchy ex). I basically let things cool down for a while, trying to just end it by letting us drift apart. I thought it was working too, but just before Christmas she tried to give me one of those half-heart things necklaces :eek: . I believe I handled it well saying that due to factors beyond my control we could not see each other much so perhaps we should wait. She said yes. Now I just got a text message from her asking if I would be at skating on saterday (we both go there), so she could tell me something. I believe this is the end. I admit a certain amount of relief.
The question is: Was what I did 'right'? Morally and practically please. I am agonising over it. Thanks.
Nope. If you aren't interested in being in a relationship with her, then you should be clear about that IMMEDIATELY. You can be gentle in how you handle it, and you can be considerate of the other person's feelings, but you owe it to them and to yourself to be honest about your own feelings.
You failed on this one, I'm afraid. Learn from the mistake so that you don't make it in the future.
Stone Bridges
02-03-2006, 19:49
Yay for you for leading a woman on. Jeez, why can't people get it through their heads that relationship is about COMMUNICATION!. If you can't communicate with your partner, girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband, gay lover, whatever, then you will not have a happy relationship.
Communicate
Communicate
Communicate!
Have a spine, break some hearts. If you don't do what's right for you, who will? Seriously, these things happen in relationships. Breakups suck, but they HAPPEN.
Moto the Wise
02-03-2006, 19:53
No. NEVER EVER.
Yay i indirectly caused a thread :p
Meh, sounds like you did well
How on earth did you know I got the idea from your thread?
Anyway, thanks for the responces guys. I just don't know what I could have done. I think this will have ment that in her mind it was my fault for negligence, rather than her fault, which is better in a way.