NationStates Jolt Archive

One time I managed to convince my grown-up sister that the film The Mummy was originally titled The Mommy when it was released in America.

When I was 16, I convinced my best friend that potatos grew on trees.

i once posted on the make a wish foundation website that chuck norris' tears cure cancer and any other disease or disorder, and kicking him in the balls is the best way to get them. Too bad chuck roundhouse kicked them all before they had a chance.

I felt the worst for the kid with the Osetogenesis Imperfecta

I never tell pointless lies. All my lies are told for a very good reason.

Now if only I could remember what it is. *ponders*

I eat fast. By that I mean that I eat fast. Really fast.


When I was in college I was at a party at a friend's house that was on the beach. We all lived on the beach and would have BBQs. Someone asked why I ate so fast. I told them when I was young my parents didn't have enough money to feed all of us so they would buy what they could and hide it around the house and we would have to go look for it. When you found it you needed to eat fast or one of your brothers, there were three of us, would steal it from you or knock it on the floor or whatever. Four years later, close to graduation, I told a friend that my parenst were coming to my graduation. He asked why I still talked to them after they were so cruel to me. Turns out that the whole time I went to college all these people really believed that story and there was always this rumour people told about me being horribly abused as a child. I never thought anyone would actually believe the story so I never told them I was kidding.

One time I managed to convince my grown-up sister that the film The Mummy was originally titled The Mommy when it was released in America.

i am great friends with my ex and her husband..even lived behind them for a bit with my 2 kids(from my ex and myself)and he brought a boy into the mix.

the kid had alot of issues(14 at the time)because of his ..whatever..upbringing,crazy ass mom,and even crazier stepdad(who had him smuggle drugs from florida when he visited them down there..grrr)

i tried really hard to be good to him,mentor him...etc.
i actually am quite good and nice to kids.

but this little fuck tried to burn down my home,constantly stole my money,ad nauseam...but i did realize he had mad problems.
so i was as usual pissed at the little shit,so ..

1 day i was putting a new knobby on my sons dirtbike,and lil prick asks me why the tire had little nubs on it.

so i told him that the knobby tires grow from rubber trees,and the asians ,were the trees are..walked around and when the tire grew into a car tire,or cycle tire or bicycle tire..etc...they would snip it from the trees with scissors,and then stack them into piles of different tires..kinda like apples/oranges..etc.

the nubs were holding the tire in the air and needed to be snipped,and they left the nubs to prove it was freshly cut.

my son tells me,the next day,in social science class...they were discussing asia or some such thing,and did anyone want to contribute to the discussion about what they knew about asia.

so you guessed it...he raises his hand and recites my tall tale/lie verbotim..and was soundly laughed out of the classroom by his 14 yr old peers..i actually felt terrible,but really..at 14 he shoulda known i was goofin him.

i also told my nephew...that if he kept screaming his face would get frozen in a scream,and no one would ever love him...but i took that back...i love the little m/f

LOL! I wish I could lie as good as you.

I once mixed vinegar, salt, all spice, nutmeg, cinnamon, red and yellow food colouring and anything else vile and disgusting I could find in the cupbord, and then gave a mug full to my sister, and told her it was red lemonade.

That was kinda funny...

I once convinced my cousin that the only reason she didn't pee her pants is that she had learned how not to pee, then told her that one of the side effects of marajuana usage is that you forget how not to pee.

Anyway long story short, I found out that she had gotten into my stash when she wet her pants at the Target later that week.

She was really stupid anyway, I was more trying to keep her from killing off precious brain cells than I was trying to protect my drugs I swear. :p


oh, and I told a kid in my youth group that 65% of people from 16-20 have herpes. I don't remember why I told her that, I think I was trying to keep her from sleeping with a guy I liked though. ;)

I haven't really told any pointless lies in like 10 years though.

Just today, I brought a cabbage into school (don't ask). However when my friends inevitably asked me about it I managed to convince them that I had a great great grandfather named Lord Willain Nelson (my last name) in scotland and his last wish was to be remembered by carrying a cabbage on the date of his supposed death, today.

We once told my Dad that there was a mouse hiding in the gas oven, and he spent four hours that evening trying to gas it out while my mother freaked out on the far side of the kitchen (she knew, she added the screaming for dramatic effect). He was so pissed when he realised that there was no mouse and he'd not gotten his dinner because he was mucking around with the oven all night...

We really were cruel, evil children, weren't we...

Oh, when we were young, I told my sister that a tree would grow in her stomach after she'd swallowed grape seeds. I gave her six weeks to live before the branches would grow up and stick out through her throat and she cried for the whole six weeks before she copped that nothing was happening. She's hated me ever since...

Two years ago, I convinced my mother that John Ritter played Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars trilogy.

We really were cruel, evil children, weren't we...
All children are cruel and evil. Eventually they mature (around age 18 or so) into ... well, un-cruel and un-evil people. Some of them, however, do not.


And that's where the fun begins. XD

OK, last one - not mine, but my brother once told my youngest sister that if someone wsn't holding onto the steering wheel of the car, it would drive off by itself, with her strapped into the safety seat. She totally freaked out, and wouldn't stay in the car by herself for a second, even if my mother had to run back inside to grab a jacket or something. It went on for three years before I finally sat her down and showed her where the breaks were, and showed her how the car rolls with the handbreak off, and the steering wheel only changes the direction. My poor mother was on the verge of ringing his neck!

All children are cruel and evil. Eventually they mature (around age 18 or so) into ... well, un-cruel and un-evil people. Some of them, however, do not.


And that's where the fun begins. XD

I suppose they are, we need to test our limits in some way.... :D

I posted in another thread that George Bush might have done something good once.

I lied; I lied pointlessly; George Bush has never done anything even remotely good. Ever.

It feels so good coming clean.

Not something I came up with myself, nor me really being the one telling it. It was a group effort though.

Background: It was in boy scout summer camp. At dinner in the dining hall. It being dinner, we were all wearing our nifty uniforms. An interesting thing about them is, if you can speak another language and can be bothered to meet the requirements, you get a little patch that says the language's name in that language to put on your uniform. The a friend of mine whom I was sitting next to was Greek and American, lived in Athens, and therefore had a Greek "Interpreter Strip" on his uniform. There were two Greek Americans on staff that year, and they just happened to be friends (I'll name them Jack and John in order of appearance).

The story: Now, since Greek doesn't use a Roman alphabet, the interpreter strips don't read "Elliniki" to the untrained eye. So people ask: "What's that languange?" This particular instance happened after a fellow staffer, (I'll call him James) asked.
Jack answered: "Braille." After an incredulous look, I added (already knowing what was going on) that during the German occupation of Greece, there were a lot of incidents where chemical weapons were used, which was why Greece had such a large portion of blind people and required Braille to be taught to everyone in school. Jack agreed.
"But wait a moment, isn't Braille with the dots?"
"Yes, but this is the spoken version."
After a few moments of silence, James walked away. A short while later he came back and said:
"Ok, I believe you now. I just asked John and he said the same thing."
At that point I couldn't keep a straight face anymore...:D