NationStates Jolt Archive

Do post details of the incident(s) if you wish. :)

I have injured my genitals many times

One time I was just laying down between two desks, very relaxed, and then, wham! It was really more the suprise than anything.

Thats not bad. But I know someone who lit his balls on fire.

by myself? no
Others? yes, many times

A permanent scar from an ingrowing hair probably doesn't really class as embarassing, does it? Other than casting dispersions on my general hygiene, of course.

Apart from the old 'doing-up-fly-then hunching-over-in-sudden-pain' thing, I am proud to say I remain injury free.

I once let a rabid Tasmanian devil give me head. The results were not pretty.

here is my list:


got hit in the balls by a seesaw

waxed (not an injury but still)

slid down a rope naked

poured vodka on my nuts and set them alight

cut myself shaving


as you can see I have had a very few years

It was one of the last days of school, and just to screw around, myself and a group of wackos played "Duck, Duck, Goose". I got caught, and decided to lie back in the middle of the circle while I waited. About five seconds later the chump with the mohawk to my left leapt and brought his elbows down upon my balls.

Yeah ow...

no i'm more careful than that.

I know a guy who kicked himself in the crotch. More than once. Hard enough to make himself curl up and cry on the floor.

(Playing hackey sack.)

He had an exceptional capacity for getting hit in the crotch at every opportunity. He even made opportunities nobody else had thought of.

SNIP

I think that was me where you from sailor?

Only the zip-and-no-underwear dealy.

One of the advantages of being a girl... :D

Although a good friend of mine once had to have a tick removed from a very embarassing place indeed.

I have never injured myself there......but a friend (relative actually) who will remain anonymous, actually got peirced..uh you know where and it got infected....she came over and showed me to see if I thought she should go to the dr. and I said "hell yeah, that's disgusting"....another time she accidentally got her peircing caught on something (still don't want to know what) during sex and ripped it out, so she had to get stitches........ouch.

When I was in HS working for a beekeeper I saw a guy that had a bee crawl up his pants and sting him right on the tip.

When I was younger I was making-out with somebody it the stables of my home and I bumped into the arse of the horse and got kicked in my area by a horse, while I was erect.

Needless to say, my member was as broken as a member could possibly be. Many surgeries and other very, very embarassing things followed in order to fix the damage.

Although, it all works now which is wonderful.

Hilarious reading! More! Girls included! ;)

No but I have done that to other people. On one such instance I was at a tennis lesson and the instructor told me to keep my head up on the overheads and watch the ball until I hit it. Well I followed his advice and proceeded to hit him right in the crotch. I could not stop laughing after that.

Needless to say, my member was as broken as a member could possibly be. Many surgeries and other very, very embarassing things followed in order to fix the damage.

Ahahahahaha!!!! Sorry to laugh, but, ahahahahaha

Although, it all works now which is wonderful.

Well, yeah, but less funny.

i once was walking and talking to a friend who was walking next to me, so i wasn't paying attention to the road and without expecting it i walked into a litle pole that was just at the higth of my genitals. it was rather funy and not that painfull.

A girl I was trying to get into "playfully" kicked me in the nads, just to see what would happen. Later, when things were more interesting between us, I discovered some severe bruising all around my groin. That, coupled with the fact that it hurt getting an erection, meant that nothing happened except some awkwardness.

Damn all the innocent 15 year old girls out there.

Well, my brother once had a very painful encounter with a jellyfish, while swimming naked.... it was a bit hard to get te Yugoslavian doctor to understand just excatly what had happend.

My other brother once had a rather painful wake-up call, when our cat decided to pounce on his privates while he was lying in bed just wearing boxers... apart from the fact that our cat was easily 15 pounds at that time and jumped down from his desk right onto his crotch, the claws and teeth must have been really nasty...

My other brother once had a rather painful wake-up call, when our cat decided to pounce on his privates while he was lying in bed just wearing boxers... apart from the fact that our cat was easily 15 pounds at that time and jumped down from his desk right onto his crotch, the claws and teeth must have been really nasty...

I think a little bit of my soul just died.

*walks away wincing*

Yes. I got married. :headbang:

I have never injured myself there......but a friend (relative actually) who will remain anonymous, actually got peirced..uh you know where and it got infected....she came over and showed me to see if I thought she should go to the dr. and I said "hell yeah, that's disgusting"....another time she accidentally got her peircing caught on something (still don't want to know what) during sex and ripped it out, so she had to get stitches........ouch.


Ooooh. Thanks Smunkee, you hold the honourable title of only NS Gen poster to almost make me cry with pain. Wear your badge with pride, for they don't come cheap.

As for me, the three most memorable occasions would be:

1) Riding at high speed, lost control of the handlebars somehow, straight up the curb and into a fence. Slammed forward right into the cross piece of the handlebars - thats right, it hurt.

2) In a hurry, so was running my bike along before getting on. Took a running jump onto the saddle, came down on my berries. Nearly passed out. (A friend of mine who did the same really did pass out lol)

3) Slammed a heavy oak chest on my monster. 'Nuf said.

I got kneed in the crotch in public. It was embarassing.

Oh, just remembered. Some bitch kicked me inna fork once when I was in about year 4, so hard I had to go and sit down for 10 minutes until I could breath properly again.

I'm very hard to embarrass.

But I'v been struck or otherwise traumatized in the genitals on many occasions. So there have been a few.

Hmm...

On a dare, several of us wrestlers who shared a Phys ed period wrapped our genitals in ace bandages. The idea was that the person who went the longest without removing the bandage won. We then went to our individual classes.

Well... I don't know how good your imaginaion is, but the ace bandage kept compressing and compressing. Within five minutes, it felt like a perpetual groin kick. Within ten, my classmates began to notice there was something wrong with me. By fifteen, so did my teacher. I ran out of the classroom at that point, dropped my pants and unwrapped my balls. As I did so, and relief flooded my soul, I noticed the Principal yelling at another rparticipant in our little bet abot three classrooms down. Then he noticed me. :p

I'll end the story there.

I've gotten hit in the balls before (when I was a preteen) but never anything humorous or comes close to the pain that many of you have experienced.


here is my list:


slid down a rope naked

poured vodka on my nuts and set them alight



as you can see I have had a very few years

What could make either of these, especially the second, seem like good ideas (a guess: alcohol)?

Just the other day my friend bagged me. We were at his house, it must have been about 2.00AM. So, anyways this one guy and I were playing pool and my friend is passed (or so I thought) by the pool table. So to make this one shot I have to stand over him and I'm about to make the shot when he punches me in the nuts. It hurt. A lot.

when I was younger, my sister would have sleep overs. Around 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning, all of the girls (sans sister) would decide it would be fun to come up to my room and jump on me to wake me up. In the 10 years I have known one of the girls, she has never failed to hit me in the balls. Not once. And then keep bouncing.

Or the fact that I have a cat at home who likes to sleep in my crotch at night, and tends to claw in her sleep.

I'm not going to go into details, but it involved a thorn bush -- with a lot of thorns. I spent an hour trying to pry them all out.

dick cheney once mistook my genitals for a quail.......

My girlfriend (at the time) hit me there.

dick cheney once mistook my genitals for a quail.......

I'm sure you didn't tell him where you were going to be going with your genitals, so it wasn't his fault. You better apologize.

dick cheney once mistook my genitals for a quail.......

Your penis has a law degree? Probably deserved it...

I'm sure you didn't tell him where you were going to be going with your genitals, so it wasn't his fault. You better apologize.


well it was after i gave him the old stiff one eye, i think he was pissed at me.

I did just remember that on my honeymoon I accidentally kneed my hubby in the nuts, really hard.....I cried for like an hour, after the first 2 minutes of catching his breath, he tried to reassure me that he was okay and that it was obviously sorta his fault since he wasn't protecting very well, and that he still loved me and all that, but the more he tried to calm me down the worse I felt, it's funny now.....sorta.......

I did just remember that on my honeymoon I accidentally kneed my hubby in the nuts, really hard.....I cried for like an hour, after the first 2 minutes of catching his breath, he tried to reassure me that he was okay and that it was obviously sorta his fault since he wasn't protecting very well, and that he still loved me and all that, but the more he tried to calm me down the worse I felt, it's funny now.....sorta.......


Now thats true love. And a good sign on who owns that marriage ;)

I did just remember that on my honeymoon I accidentally kneed my hubby in the nuts, really hard.....I cried for like an hour, after the first 2 minutes of catching his breath, he tried to reassure me that he was okay and that it was obviously sorta his fault since he wasn't protecting very well, and that he still loved me and all that, but the more he tried to calm me down the worse I felt, it's funny now.....sorta.......

My wife laughs. :p

This award goes to Stolen Dreams. Your thread wins.:cool:

This award goes to Stolen Dreams. Your thread wins.:cool:


I'll get that title back sooner or later ;)

I've just got the standard offenses, kicked in the balls by a pissed off member of the opposite sex, grind rail incidents, etc.

Does accidently shooting my friend bewteen the legs with a maxPSI paintball gun count?

I'll get that title back sooner or later ;)


You are the undisputed champ of novelty threads.I ordered your trophy....they said it takes 6-8 weeks to arrive.:D

You are the undisputed champ of novelty threads.I ordered your trophy....they said it takes 6-8 weeks to arrive.:D


do you come with the trophy?

do you come with the trophy?


haha...no sorry love. You have to order one of those juicers made by the guy with the big eyebrows in order to receive me in the mail.

No.

(Well, not in a particularly embarrasing way, at least....)

haha...no sorry love. You have to order one of those juicers made by the guy with the big eyebrows in order to receive me in the mail.


ill order 7 of them, then i get to keep you :D

This award goes to Stolen Dreams. Your thread wins.:cool:
I am honoured! Please, be my VIP guest at the Originality Award party. There'll be free Bolly for everyone!

When I was a little kid, I got into a fight in school, and got punched in the nuts so hard that my left one went up inside me. It wouldn't come down. They ended up having to do surgery on it.

10 years later, I apparently have epididymitus for that same one. I think it's totally unfair for a virgin like me to get an infection/inflammation down there. :(

Also, when I was in middle schoo, I once masturbated so many times in one day that I got like a rash on my penis, and had to put a band-aid on it. It was rather unpleasant.

Then of course, there's always the multiple times getting hit by a soccer ball in the junk as a kid.

Oh, and my ladyfriend has accidentily kneed me in the nuts before. We were cuddling, and I tickled her, which triggered her reflexes. Her leg happened to be positioned in between both of mine. Ouch.

1) Riding at high speed, lost control of the handlebars somehow, straight up the curb and into a fence. Slammed forward right into the cross piece of the handlebars - thats right, it hurt.

2) In a hurry, so was running my bike along before getting on. Took a running jump onto the saddle, came down on my berries. Nearly passed out. (A friend of mine who did the same really did pass out lol)I know of two people who each lost a testicle in bike riding accidents.

masturbate til i am bleeding

If I did, I'm sad to say it would be one of the funniest things I ever did.

Fairly recently actually. I was making a hot chilli sauce over the weekend which I had to cut a lot of Cayenne chillis up for. After I put them into the oven and was waiting I absent mindedly scratched my balls with my capsaicin covered hands.

It wasn't very fun :(

It wasn't very fun :(

Then why does it sound so funny in my head? :)

Then why does it sound so funny in my head? :)

Oh, it definately is funny. But wasn't fun at the time ;)

masturbate til i am bleeding

Let me guess... you're doing that right now, aren't you? ;)

I never did injure myself there, but once, I walked out the front doors of the high school and decided to walk down the stairs while straddling the wrought iron railing going down the middle. The leading edge of the railing was broken and caught the seam of my jeans and as I walked, the jeans were ripped from the crotch to one ankle.
I continued walking as if nothing happened to me friend waiting in a car in front. There had to be 200 people there that never noticed.

So-no injuries, but I still get chills thinking of how it would have been if I were a little shorter

A friend and I were gassing up my jet ski, standing in the water-I was holding it still, he was pouring the gas in. Some gas spilled down the side and you could see it in the water. Suddenly, he became very uncomfortable and had to run to the bathroom. When he came back, he claimed the mesh support in his bathing suit had broken down from the gasoline and adhered to his plumbing. Better him than me.

I injured my balls when I was four or five, afortunately I was small enough to remember the pain. I was on a ladder and I felt down with my legs opened. Now I've got a nice seven points scar trough my genitals.:D

Let me guess... you're doing that right now, aren't you? ;)
I have done it at 20:30 CET....in the bath....inspired by a totally newbie....

i cut myself shaving...

*tilts head* how much do you have to do "that" before it bleeds

oh and in maths me and a few buddies like to set each other alight without the victim knowing so I managed set fire to my friends crotch and he said its getting hot in here then he looked down

I once read a post claiming that Creation is a scientific theory and one of my testicles exploded. Once my coworkers had wiped themselves off, they were pissed.

I got a tick on my dick once when I was camping. And no, I'm not refering to a blood sucking ex who pinched when she gave oral.

I have done it at 20:30 CET....in the bath....inspired by a totally newbie....

Too much information.... :rolleyes:

Too much information.... :rolleyes:
I only know Name Age and the Colour of her Hair...

Fairly recently actually. I was making a hot chilli sauce over the weekend which I had to cut a lot of Cayenne chillis up for. After I put them into the oven and was waiting I absent mindedly scratched my balls with my capsaicin covered hands.

It wasn't very fun :(

I've totally done that before. Except I went to go pee. And I touched just below the ridge and it felt like I'd dipped it in molten lead.

Nothing too serious. When I was playing pool once it was my friends shot, so to distract him i set my balls up on the corner of the table, over the pocket he was aiming for. He hit the ball up and if I had moved a second later I would have got my nuts cracked. I was in a state of shock for half an hour.

We all know that it REALLY hurts if a bloke gets kicked in the balls as demonstrated by a friend of mine because I missed the football.

I heard once that a golf caddy suffered a ruptured testicle when he stood too close!:eek: :eek: :eek:

Is it as painful for the 'less burdened' gender? (i.e. girls)

We all know that it REALLY hurts if a bloke gets kicked in the balls as demonstrated by a friend of mine because I missed the football.

I heard once that a golf caddy suffered a ruptured testicle when he stood too close!:eek: :eek: :eek:

Is it as painful for the 'less burdened' gender? (i.e. girls)

Well, the obvious absence of balls makes getting kicked in them a lot less painful, I'd guess...

Well, the obvious absence of balls makes getting kicked in them a lot less painful, I'd guess...
*kicks in the ovaries*
Sowwy, I just couldn't resist.
:(

Nothing noteworthy done by myself. However, as an 8th grader with some rather...cruel classmates, I vow to one day make Thailand rue the day it named it's capital Bangkok.

I've totally done that before. Except I went to go pee. And I touched just below the ridge and it felt like I'd dipped it in molten lead.

Once bitten, twice shy

Once bitten, twice shy

That reminds me of another way I injured it. That is a VERY embarrassing story by the way.

That reminds me of another way I injured it.
:eek:

*kicks in the ovaries*
Sowwy, I just couldn't resist.
:(

Now, THAT would be a rather bloody kick.... :eek:

Now, THAT would be a rather bloody kick.... :eek:

Indeed. So, now you have a story about getting your genitals injured. Go CW!

Yes, i have a few..

1- Once on my bmx i came off a ramp and didn't have time to brake before the fence.

2- Whilst trying to dry-capsize my boat, i slipped from the centre-board of the boat and landed on my delicacies.

3- At judo, doing a ground-hold competition, i tried to throw someone off and they just slipped with their elbow into my groin.

Though, i have kicked someone in the testicles with steel-toe caps for even daring to try and kick me in that general region. They walked funny for about half an hour:p