NationStates Jolt Archive

Another thread got me wondering what the general consensus is on the emotional/social convolutions of men versus women. Do you think there are fundamental differences between men and women relating to how they experience emotion, and what they desire in terms of social interaction? (poll coming)

personally, I don't buy that there is any material difference in the emotional spectrum between men an women. I think we often express things differently, and don't understand each other very well. Once you get passed that (if you should be so lucky as to have an honest, analytical, communicative, relationship) you find - at least I did - a mirror.

I'm with you on that one. I don't think I feel things differently than anyone else; I just react to them differently.

i've been told time and again by women they would rather live with men than other women. men just don't have drama in the same way, or for the same reasons. usually. mostly.

I believe that overall, men and women are socialised to deal with emotions differently. My brothers and I all seem to 'deal' the same way. We are very emotional creatures. My transgendered brother, who identifies as female, is no more emotionally-driven than I, or than my more 'masculine' brothers...so our method of handling emotions seems to be more nature/nurture than gendered. My husband handles things different than I do...but so does my best female friend. *shrugs*

men and women are essentially identical in all ways. There are some interesting differences (no, not those), but all in all, we are equally complex and emotional.

Men tend to be more straightforeward and supress emotion. Women tend to be more hmm...whats the word I want...muddled? (thats not it, and I was looking for a word that doesn't have the negative connotation, but can't think of it) in how they speak, as in, will say "nothings wrong", when there is, or instead of giving flat out criticism, will pad it with a compliment, and will show emotion more. But the roots behind the actions and emotions are the same

the interesting difference I have in mind is how we listen. Women listen with their full brain, men with one half. This is why men can "tune out" things. A woman will hear all the noises around her. Men can easily pick out one thing to listen to. there was an interesting study where they played two stories on tape at the same time to men and women. Men could pick one story and follow it, while women couldnt. They related this back to men hunting and having to pick out one sound to follow, while women were the care takers and had to listen for the baby crying, men returning, predators, etc.

I believe that overall, men and women are socialised to deal with emotions differently. My brothers and I all seem to 'deal' the same way. We are very emotional creatures. My transgendered brother, who identifies as female, is no more emotionally-driven than I, or than my more 'masculine' brothers...so our method of handling emotions seems to be more nature/nurture than gendered. My husband handles things different than I do...but so does my best female friend. *shrugs*
I could not agree more. Men are trained, almost from birth, to play more rough, to not cry, and to be "boys", where as girls are trained to nurture, and show their emotions and be "girls" (I use the quoted words to mean what society has dictated is "boy" and "girl")

I could not agree more. Men are trained, almost from birth, to play more rough, to not cry, and to be "boys", where as girls are trained to nurture, and show their emotions and be "girls" (I use the quoted words to mean what society has dictated is "boy" and "girl")
Yes...my brothers and I were never socialised to be 'male' or 'female' in that way. Which is why I think we all express our emotions in a similar fashion. My husband, however, was VERY socialised to be 'masuline', and his method of dealing with things is nothing like his sister.

i've been told time and again by women they would rather live with men than other women. men just don't have drama in the same way, or for the same reasons. usually. mostly.Well, probably because they supress it; (granted, some women, and people, are very conciously and uncessarily dramatic) just because something isn't expounded upon, doesn't mean it isn't present, and doesn't mean it isn't expressed in other, less obvious, more insidious ways.

I could not agree more. Men are trained, almost from birth, to play more rough, to not cry, and to be "boys", where as girls are trained to nurture, and show their emotions and be "girls" (I use the quoted words to mean what society has dictated is "boy" and "girl")

Yeah, I've always been something of a "tom boy" that way... to which I usually respond that more girls should be like me, and then they wouldn't think I was so strange.

Someone told me today that I shouldn't discourage my 2 year old daughter from being "girly". Um, or not! Talk about a great way to raise my ire. I don't mind her liking dresses, dolls, or even pink (aka p*** in my world) but she will NOT be allowed to be ditzy, into makeup, gossip and shopping. She will play sports, ride bikes, camp, fall down and not cry. She already tries most of those. When she falls down, she says "ba-boom!" and gets up and keeps going... sometimes even if she is bleeding. (I have to stop her to get her to let me wash it, but she does like band-aids.) DON'T tell me to just "let her be girly". I wasn't a girly child, and there's no reason my daughter has to be.

Stinkin' social expectations.

Yes...my brothers and I were never socialised to be 'male' or 'female' in that way. Which is why I think we all express our emotions in a similar fashion. My husband, however, was VERY socialised to be 'masuline', and his method of dealing with things is nothing like his sister.
Its interesting to watch really. Right from giving the boys blue blankets and girls pink, to the earliest games we play, parents tend to play just a little more rough with little boys than with little girls. Me and my sister are both very similar as well, and don't handle things either masc. or fem., but an odd mix of the two.

She already tries most of those. When she falls down, she says "ba-boom!" and gets up and keeps going... sometimes even if she is bleeding. (I have to stop her to get her to let me wash it, but she does like band-aids.) Heh! my mum says that I was just like that - I had a stage when I simply refused to cry when I got hurt.

Yeah, I've always been something of a "tom boy" that way... to which I usually respond that more girls should be like me, and then they wouldn't think I was so strange.

Someone told me today that I shouldn't discourage my 2 year old daughter from being "girly". Um, or not! Talk about a great way to raise my ire. I don't mind her liking dresses, dolls, or even pink (aka p*** in my world) but she will NOT be allowed to be ditzy, into makeup, gossip and shopping. She will play sports, ride bikes, camp, fall down and not cry. She already tries most of those. When she falls down, she says "ba-boom!" and gets up and keeps going... sometimes even if she is bleeding. (I have to stop her to get her to let me wash it, but she does like band-aids.) DON'T tell me to just "let her be girly". I wasn't a girly child, and there's no reason my daughter has to be.

Stinkin' social expectations.
haha...I gotta respect that you're getting rid of the things about alot of girls that just bothers me to no end...my one argument would be if she wants to be into makeup (or what have you), then I personally wouldn't stop her...but then again, I've never had a child, so I'm in no place to say how one should raise their child.

She does sound alot like my little cousin...cutest thing ever when she falls, screams "OUCHIES!" gets up, and scampers away to go find some new trouble to get into.

I could not agree more. Men are trained, almost from birth, to play more rough, to not cry, and to be "boys", where as girls are trained to nurture, and show their emotions and be "girls" (I use the quoted words to mean what society has dictated is "boy" and "girl")

Excellent point.How many times do we see a different reaction from men vs women when something sad happens. On the outside, women tend to cry more, and guys hold their emotions in check. Women let it out and guys hold it in. Thats on the outside. The two could be equally traumatized on the inside, and thats something none of us can speculate on. So men/women do usually handle emotion differently, but that doesnt mean they (men)are any less sensative or empathetic.

Yeah, I've always been something of a "tom boy" that way... to which I usually respond that more girls should be like me, and then they wouldn't think I was so strange.

Someone told me today that I shouldn't discourage my 2 year old daughter from being "girly". Um, or not! Talk about a great way to raise my ire. I don't mind her liking dresses, dolls, or even pink (aka p*** in my world) but she will NOT be allowed to be ditzy, into makeup, gossip and shopping. She will play sports, ride bikes, camp, fall down and not cry. She already tries most of those. When she falls down, she says "ba-boom!" and gets up and keeps going... sometimes even if she is bleeding. (I have to stop her to get her to let me wash it, but she does like band-aids.) DON'T tell me to just "let her be girly". I wasn't a girly child, and there's no reason my daughter has to be.

Stinkin' social expectations.


I have a feeling that as she grows older, she will decide what she is *into*. She may end up liking make up and shopping. What if she ends up not liking sports? And what if she does in fact cry?It wouldnt be fair to stifle her individuality anymore than if someone stifled yours. I know you want whats best for her, but it seems like you already have her choices laid out for her.

Men tend to be more straightforeward and supress emotion. Women tend to be more hmm...whats the word I want...muddled? (thats not it, and I was looking for a word that doesn't have the negative connotation, but can't think of it) in how they speak, as in, will say "nothings wrong", when there is, or instead of giving flat out criticism, will pad it with a compliment, and will show emotion more. But the roots behind the actions and emotions are the same
I think this is valid. This whole discussion is obviously dealing with generalizations, but as long as thy're founded, I think we're ok.

Something I have noticed though, is that men because of their tendancy to supress emotion tend to ignore or deny important issues for longer that is necessary simply to escape having to talk about it or deal with it. Even the most emotionally open men sometimes have to be threatened, cajoled or "pumped" before they will honestly discuss soomething, that they are intimately concerned with.

Excellent point.How many times do we see a different reaction from men vs women when something sad happens. On the outside, women tend to cry more, and guys hold their emotions in check. Women let it out and guys hold it in. Thats on the outside. The two could be equally traumatized on the inside, and thats something none of us can speculate on. So men/women do usually handle emotion differently, but that doesnt mean they (men)are any less sensative or empathetic.
when my grandpa died, we were at the funeral (I have all female cousins, and my 2 second cousins who were very young), and they were doing the ashes to ashes thing. My mom was crying (I never saw her cry before), all my cousins (including the other male one) were crying, and I just looked around and had to choke it back. Everyone needed someone to be the "strong" one, someone who had the blood relation, the close relation with him (I was closer to him than any of the other cousins) to be okay. Truth is, at that moment, I was a wreck. I felt just as bad, if not worse, than most of the people there...but stopped myself from showing it for the people around me.

Point of that little story is this: All people feel the hurt. Sometimes, we get put into a situation where we have to, wether by choice or by force, hide it. I'm sure parents have wanted to cry, but stopped themselves because their child was there. All people are capable of it...some just choose to do it more than others. I would say this tends to be the male way of dealing with things. For me, I had to be the one strong male for everyone there. I did what I felt was expected of me, even tho the expectations were only in my head. To this day, I never cried about the loss of my grandpa, but I'm at peace with that because I did what I thought was needed.

*snip* I wasn't a girly child, and there's no reason my daughter has to be.
Stinkin' social expectations.
I'm a tomboy. I ripped the heads off of Barbies gifted to me on birthdays or Christmas by foolish relations. Fashion is something I find painful, and makeup is something I wear only when I'm going on stage. But my second daughter is a girly girl. She loves dolls...she babies them (which is amusing, since she's a baby herself), and likes to wear dresses. She is vain, and pretends to put on makeup. She is nothing like me. My first daughter, however, is my carbon copy. It's scary, and wonderful. But they are both my daughters. Trust me, I've pushed the tonka trucks, and the jeans...all the non-girly stuff. I make it clear that NOTHING is 'just for boys'...but I've had to change my philosophy (having a transgendered brother) that nothing is 'just for girls' either. If my second daughter ends up being into fashion, and into 'girly' things...then fine. That doesn't mean she'll be a ditz. Being 'feminine' does not require you to check your brain at the door. It's just how some people (including males) are. I realise that if I try to 'steer' her towards a less feminine route, I'll be doing her as much damage as if I had a son who wanted to play with dolls. My kids are who they are, and I'm not trying to push any personal concept of male or female on them. I don't think you are either...but it's good to remind ourselves that as much as we parents have the power to shape our childrens' personalities...they are BORN with that personality. What we do is just alter it.

I have a feeling that as she grows older, she will decide what she is *into*. She may end up liking make up and shopping. What if she ends up not liking sports? And what if she does in fact cry?It wouldnt be fair to stifle her individuality anymore than if someone stifled yours. I know you want whats best for her, but it seems like you already have her choices laid out for her.Shopping and makeup are not part of anybody's 'personality' nor do they help build it in any discernable way. Sport, school, etc. do. Obviously we all make our own choices as we get older, but parents have a right to guide their children as they see fit as well.

I think this is valid. This whole discussion is obviously dealing with generalizations, but as long as thy're founded, I think we're ok.

Something I have noticed though, is that men because of their tendancy to supress emotion tend to ignore or deny important issues for longer that is necessary simply to escape having to talk about it or deal with it. Even the most emotionally open men sometimes have to be threatened, cajoled or "pumped" before they will honestly discuss soomething, that they are intimately concerned with.
very much true, atleast for me. I am the rock for alot of my good friends and family, and as such, I don't let my guard down around them. Some can get me to talk, but if I feel like I might lose it, then I'll shut off for a while. People don't get to see me cry, and I do that by ignoring what is going on when I need to.

very much true, atleast for me. I am the rock for alot of my good friends and family, and as such, I don't let my guard down around them. Some can get me to talk, but if I feel like I might lose it, then I'll shut off for a while. People don't get to see me cry, and I do that by ignoring what is going on when I need to.I'm sure that is comforting to the people around you at times, but it could also be frustrating and confusing.

There difinately is a time and place when the most correct and generous thing to do is to be emotionally honest, and completely engaged in the moment. I know that if my boyfriend wasn't capable of emotional honesty with me over the course of some serious conflicts, we would not be together today. I know that if my dad had been capable of that likewise, alot of bitterness and misunderstanding could have been avoided.

Shopping and makeup are not part of anybody's 'personality' nor do they help build it in any discernable way. Sport, school, etc. do. Obviously we all make our own choices as we get older, but parents have a right to guide their children as they see fit as well.

Of course they do, I never stated otherwise, but the poster seems to be saying "she IS going to do this and she IS going to do that." My point is, children will make their own choices as they grow, no matter how much their parents guide them. I'm a parent btw...are you?

I'm sure that is comforting to the people around you at times, but it could also be frustrating and confusing.

There difinately is a time and place when the most correct and generous thing to do is to be emotionally honest, and completely engaged in the moment. I know that if my boyfriend wasn't capable of emotional honesty with me over the course of some serious conflicts, we would not be together today. I know that if my dad had been capable of that likewise, alot of bitterness and misunderstanding could have been avoided.
actually, I got a letter from a friend that had the best piece of advice I've ever gotten. All it said in her handwriting on a piece of notebook paper was
"You're human. You're allowed to break".
to this day, she is one of a handful who have seen me break down. It isn't that I can't show it, it's that I have to trust the person alot before I can. I just tend to prefer to the the stability when everyone else loses their heads...I can get it out later if I need to.

Of course they do, I never stated otherwise, but the poster seems to be saying "she IS going to do this and she IS going to do that." My point is, children will make their own choices as they grow, no matter how much their parents guide them. I'm a parent btw...are you?nope, but I'm a daughter. I kept meaning, throughout my childhood, to write up a parenting manual from a kid's perspective, and now I'm sorry that I didn't. I have a terrible fear of being a terrible parent -overindulgant, unapproachable, too strict, too stubborn, too demanding, too flaky, etc. It seems that there are infinite variables to raising children and hitting the best one is near-impossible. though I have to say my parents did a bang-up job with me and my brother !!

nope, but I'm a daughter. I kept meaning, throughout my childhood, to write up a parenting manual from a kid's perspective, and now I'm sorry that I didn't. I have a terrible fear of being a terrible parent -overindulgant, unapproachable, too strict, too stubborn, too demanding, too flaky, etc. It seems that there are infinite variables to raising children and hitting the best one is near-impossible. though I have to say my parents did a bang-up job with me and my brother !!
Such a manual wouldn't be a bad idea. But it's also good to remember, that a lot of what your parents did...good and bad...doesn't really make sense until you are facing the same decisions as a parent yourself.

Womens is crazy.

So far the men alone being more complicated are 0 for 20. I think it is safe to blame the women for the complications in everything! Yes, that is correct I said EVERYTHING!!!


:mp5:
:sniper:
:gundge:
:headbang:


:fluffle:

nope, but I'm a daughter. I kept meaning, throughout my childhood, to write up a parenting manual from a kid's perspective, and now I'm sorry that I didn't. I have a terrible fear of being a terrible parent -overindulgant, unapproachable, too strict, too stubborn, too demanding, too flaky, etc. It seems that there are infinite variables to raising children and hitting the best one is near-impossible. though I have to say my parents did a bang-up job with me and my brother !!


Well I can honestly say that I have learned far more from my daughter than she has from me. When things seemed too complicated for me to comprehend, she could turn them into simplicity with a smile and a child's point of view. I think all parents have that same fear, I know I did. What if I'm too strict? What if I'm too lenient? What if I dont do everything just right? It turns out that if we are willing to love them, protect them listen to them and respect them , then we are on the right track to being a good parent. You seem to have a great handle on the kind of parent you want to be, I am sure you will do a "bang up" job too.:)

Well I can honestly say that I have learned far more from my daughter than she has from me. When things seemed too complicated for me to comprehend, she could turn them into simplicity with a smile and a child's point of view. I think all parents have that same fear, I know I did. What if I'm too strict? What if I'm too lenient? What if I dont do everything just right? It turns out that if we are willing to love them, protect them listen to them and respect them , then we are on the right track to being a good parent. You seem to have a great handle on the kind of parent you want to be, I am sure you will do a "bang up" job too.:)
the million dollar word, as far as I'm concerned.

So far the men alone being more complicated are 0 for 20. I think it is safe to blame the women for the complications in everything! Yes, that is correct I said EVERYTHING!!!
<smiley snippage>

Welcome to NS. I find it interesting that no-one has chosen that option too. Aren't there any tourtured and twisted up male souls out there that are sure they must be the most complicated phsychological basket case EVER!?

But just a pointer, Loyalist - you should restrict you use of smilies to one per post, maximum. Otherwise, take your n00bishness elswhere.

Well I can honestly say that I have learned far more from my daughter than she has from me. When things seemed too complicated for me to comprehend, she could turn them into simplicity with a smile and a child's point of view. I think all parents have that same fear, I know I did. What if I'm too strict? What if I'm too lenient? What if I dont do everything just right? It turns out that if we are willing to love them, protect them listen to them and respect them , then we are on the right track to being a good parent. You seem to have a great handle on the kind of parent you want to be, I am sure you will do a "bang up" job too.Thank you! that's very sweet, and I daresay good advice. Hell, we've been doing this parenting gig for eons, so it must come at least (a little) naturally. Mind you, fucking up your children must be another trait for the species' survival in some perverse way...otherwise I reckon it would have been selected out by now.

Alright, to all those on the poll (eleven of you) that say women are more complicated, but haven't posted their argument, come out and fight!! None of these poll-and-run tactics! En gard!

Alright, to all those on the poll (eleven of you) that say women are more complicated, but haven't posted their argument, come out and fight!! None of these poll-and-run tactics! En gard!

I voted for that option, but now that I think about it I can't find one good argument for it. It just seemed to be a gut reaction thing.

personally, I don't buy that there is any material difference in the emotional spectrum between men an women. I think we often express things differently, and don't understand each other very well. Once you get passed that (if you should be so lucky as to have an honest, analytical, communicative, relationship) you find - at least I did - a mirror.

100% with you there. everyone's got a different emotional make-up and different emotional responses to situations. the categorization of emotional responses into male and female ones is just a hangover from victorian times when women wore corsets and so kept fainting all the time so men could have something to 'protect', ie own.

i've been told time and again by women they would rather live with men than other women. men just don't have drama in the same way, or for the same reasons. usually. mostly.I have to agree. I know that it's not true of all women, but the majority that I've met are into babies, clothes shopping, make-up etc. They enjoy gossiping but burst into tears at the slightest hint that someone might have been doing the same in relation to them. Whereas all of those things irritate the shit out of me. I've always got on much better with men/boys, even when I was a tiny child (sitting there playing with my Scalextric and model railway set).

Having said that, I agree that it's about socialisation, both in terms of behaviour and in terms of a person's actual mentality; I really think parents should tell children of both sexes that it's OK to dress differently from other people of the same gender, have different interests from them etc. After that, let them decide on their interests themselves.

Women are evil:
:mp5:

I voted for that option, but now that I think about it I can't find one good argument for it. It just seemed to be a gut reaction thing.Yes, that's how it seems to be. Really though, wouldn't you find it offensive and strange if someone claimed to be more "complex" than you simply because of their gender?
Women are evil:
:mp5:
Why is my thread being infested by noobs?

Another thread got me wondering what the general consensus is on the emotional/social convolutions of men versus women. Do you think there are fundamental differences between men and women relating to how they experience emotion, and what they desire in terms of social interaction? (poll coming)

personally, I don't buy that there is any material difference in the emotional spectrum between men an women. I think we often express things differently, and don't understand each other very well. Once you get passed that (if you should be so lucky as to have an honest, analytical, communicative, relationship) you find - at least I did - a mirror.
I strongly recommend that anyone interested in this subject read You Just Don't Undersand: women and men in conversation (http://raysweb.net/poems/articles/tannen.html), by Deborah Tannen. The book title is linked to a site where the topic is discussed by Ms. Tannen.

[x] Everybody is equally as confused and strange

Clearly both are as complicated, but in different ways.

I work retail in a small store, and I work sandwiched between a female boss and a female "lackey". (Both of whom Ive had really naughty dreams about, but thats TMI, isnt it?) Whats odd is that, in our industry, about 95% of the workers are male (Its a videogame store). Yet both of said females say the same thing..."Id rather work with men, women are difficult to deal with..." From WOMEN... egads. I dont have a point, just wanted to share that :p

Men and women are different. Our hormones begin to bathe us in differences in the womb. Socialization strongly affects how we display and experience those differences, but we're different, and anyone who thinks we aren't has his or her head in the sand. Heck, I'm a totally different woman during PMS, and that's just a minor difference in the levels of my own regular female hormones. I can't help but think there would be huge physical, emotional, and psychological differences if I were experiencing male hormones instead.

"Can't We Talk?"
(condensed from: You Just Don't Understand)

by Deborah Tannen

A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, "Would you like to stop for a coffee?"

"No, thanks," he answered truthfully. So they didn't stop.

The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn't she just say what she wanted?

Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn't realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and woman interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it's no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.

As a specialist in linguistics, I have studied how the conversational styles of men and women differ. We cannot lump all men or all women into fixed categories. But the seemingly senseless misunderstandings that haunt our relationships can in part be explained by the different conversational rules by which men and women play.

Whenever I write or speak about this subject, people tell me they are relieved to learn that what has caused them trouble - and what they had previously ascribed to personal failings - is, in fact, very common.

Learning about the different though equally valid conversational frequencies men and women are tuned to can help banish the blame and help us truly talk to one another. Here are some of the most common areas of conflict:

Status vs. Support.

Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.

I saw this when my husband and I had jobs in different cities. People frequently made comments like, "That must be rough," and "How do you stand it?" I accepted their sympathy and sometimes even reinforced it, saying, "The worst part is having to pack and unpack al the time."

But my husband often reacted with irritation. Our situation had advantages, he would explain. As academics, we had four-day weekends together, as well as long vacations throughout the year and four months in the summer.

Everything he said was true, but I didn't understand why he chose to say it. He told me that some of the comments implied: "Yours is not a real marriage. I am superior to you because my wife and I have avoided your misfortune." Until then it had not occurred to me there might be an element of one- upmanship.

I now see that my husband was simply approaching the world as many men do: as a place where people try to achieve and maintain status. I, on the other hand, was approaching the world as many women do: as a network of connections seeking support and consensus.

Independence vs. Intimacy.

( Continued ) (http://raysweb.net/poems/articles/tannen.html)

Yes, that's how it seems to be. Really though, wouldn't you find it offensive and strange if someone claimed to be more "complex" than you simply because of their gender?

No, not really. Some women do it all the time. ("You're boys, you wouldn't understand")

I work retail in a small store, and I work sandwiched between a female boss and a female "lackey". (Both of whom Ive had really naughty dreams about, but thats TMI, isnt it?) Whats odd is that, in our industry, about 95% of the workers are male (Its a videogame store). Yet both of said females say the same thing..."Id rather work with men, women are difficult to deal with..." From WOMEN... egads. I dont have a point, just wanted to share that :p

Interestingly, a manager friend of mine will only hire women as floor staff, and only hire men as managers because apparently women work better as a single-sex unit, and are much more willing to take orders from a man than another women.

Interestingly, a manager friend of mine will only hire women as floor staff, and only hire men as managers because apparently women work better as a single-sex unit, and are much more willing to take orders from a man than another women.


Thats mainly down to society saying men are authority figures, thats why some men dont like having a female boss.

No, not really. Some women do it all the time. ("You're boys, you wouldn't understand").
well, that's bullshit. boys *do* understand.


Interestingly, a manager friend of mine will only hire women as floor staff, and only hire men as managers because apparently women work better as a single-sex unit, and are much more willing to take orders from a man than another women.
and that's discrimination. if he doesn't have the leadership to choose the best people for the job and build teamwork without discrimination, that's his fault.

well, that's bullshit. boys *do* understand.

Indeed.


and that's discrimination. if he doesn't have the leadership to choose the best people for the job and build teamwork without discrimination, that's his fault.

It's unwritten company policy. Each employee has to be vetted by central office. If the applicant isn't the "correct" gender, then they get rejected. (on random grounds)

With my first girlfriend I was lucky enough to be able to sit down and really thrash this issue out. It turned out that really ultimately, our views on the world were incredibly different. The ways we related emotionally to other people, friends, co-workers etc were completely different. We found that we were able to generalise our gender based behaviour to an amazing degree, as well as predicting possible communicative solutions that might arise and rationally dealing with them.

We decided that men havea much more mechanistic outlook towards emotion - if there is a negative emotion, it must stem from a problem. If there's a problem, it must have a solution. You ask for help only if you need it and otherwise don't try to spread the problem further. Women, however, have a dynamic outlook on emotions, addressing them as substantial elements of themselves even outside of the actual issue from which they arise.

Ach, the article describes it far better. I'd also recommend reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, which despite being filled with almost ludicrous feminist propaganda is actually quite a useful book. Everyone I've known who has read this has always agreed with the majority of the statements made, even from vastly different cultural backgrounds.

Late addition: Just read the next article along from the posted one. Very funny and true, particularly the bit about emotional consciousness and the World Series.

Bah. I feel the need to make a generic comment about women. Probably along the lines of "bloody women eh?", a completely meaningless statement that somehow retains massive meaning with everyone I know.

I don't know anyone who always says what's on their mind and is truthful about what they think and feel all the time, to everyone. I don't know anyone who understands all their emotions and feelings perfectly and is completely "well-adjusted". I don't know anyone with fool-proof ways of dealing with all difficult situations. I don't know anyone who is simple to understand.

Humans are complicated. It's as simple as that.

Often, I find males more confusing because in my experience they've been less open about emotions and give less away, whereas females in my experience seem to talk more and, even if it's not all true, give you something to analyse and make judgements on. Then again, one area (of many) in which I've found females more confusing is with people they like or dislike - males seem to be less fake and if they don't like someone, they don't hang round with them or build any form of friendship with them. And both males and females confuse me in how they follow ridiculous stereotypical "rules" about how the opposite sex things and behaves how to act around one another. People confuse me in general I think.

I'm just going to say that humans in general are all extremely complex, perhaps with the genders being more confusing in different areas or from different perspectives.

Well from the male point of view I have to say that I think emotionally women are more complicated, at least at my age. I feel this because I appear to transcend normal steriotypical views of male and female teenagers; I am a poet, a writer, a visionary, a philosopher, and more interestingly to this discussion, a student of psycology. From a slightly objective view I find my fellow males to be slightly emotionally one dimensional, or at least so internalised that it makes little difference. I do not see this as a bad thing, but I have noticed it none the less. Amoung the girls I know however the social and emotional situation seems much more complex.

Bah. I feel the need to make a generic comment about women. Probably along the lines of "bloody women eh?", a completely meaningless statement that somehow retains massive meaning with everyone I know.sour grapes anyone?

yum yum.

Bah. I feel the need to make a generic comment about women. Probably along the lines of "bloody women eh?", a completely meaningless statement that somehow retains massive meaning with everyone I know.
still feeling a bit bitter? *hands over another 6 pack*

Strange this thread came up because I was watching a documentary about transgendered college students going through gender reassignment surgery. These are the conclusions I came to:

1. You are who you are and if having surgery makes you feel more like yourself, go for it.

2. People who will accept you for who you are will do so no matter what you look like.

3. People who will not accept you for who you are will not do so no matter what you look like.