NationStates Jolt Archive

All people ever use anymore are the same tired curse words, ie "Kiss my A-, you peice of S-, F- you."

I think these are kind of boring.

So I invite you to unload insults upon (erased)*, make them colorfull, make them creative.

Curse words can be used, but should not be the soul of the dis, ie "donkey raping sh*t eater" would be acceptable.

Begin.

* I guess your not allowed to insult me directly due to forum rules, so insult a non existing person!

All people ever use anymore are the same tired curse words, ie "Kiss my A-, you peice of S-, F- you."

I think these are kind of boring.

So I invite you to unload insults upon me, make them colorfull, make them creative.

Curse words can be used, but should not be the soul of the dis, ie "donkey raping sh*t eater" would be acceptable.

Begin.

I hope your mother comes out from under the porch and bites you.

Flaming, whether its asked for or not, is a deatable offence, so I suggeest no-one directs their ever-so colourful insults directly at the OP.

?? Um, Drop the keys you Fairy Godmother.

If anyone here gets that it's very funny.

Your Mother is a Hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries.

Your Mother is a Hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries.

I fart in your general direction! :p

What is the average velocity of a swallow?

I fart in your general direction! :p

What is the average velocity of a swallow?

Airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, not average velocity of a sparrow.

African or European?

Even Jesus hates your guts. :)

Airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, not average velocity of a sparrow.

African or European?

(sorry, been a while since i watched the movie. It's a miracle I still remember some quotes)

I don't know....AHHHHHHHHHH! *falls into chasm of doom*

Jesus loves you, but I think your a dick-hole.

"I knew a guy just like you. He shot himself in his mother's basement."

Jesus loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way.

You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

And a cookie to whoever pulls that reference out of their ass. :D

I hope someone ties you to a chair and beats you in front of your children.

JUST KIDDING!

I hope they beat your children, too.

You're the load your mother should have swallowed.

You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

And a cookie to whoever pulls that reference out of their ass. :D

Oceans' 12?

May you be like a chandelier: hanging all day and burning all night.

...there's so many good Yiddish insults, it's hard to know where to start.

You're the load your mother should have swallowed.

ROFLMAO

Oceans' 12?
Much much older.

You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

And a cookie to whoever pulls that reference out of their ass. :D
thats from Mystery Men

May a camel spit in your face and your fat, old, ugly, Andorran wife bear fourteen and a half children with pigs tails.

"I'd call you spineless, but that just might be giving you a compliment." (pulled that from one of my RP's)

"If somebody asked me which is brighter- the pole or you- I'd say the pole."

"You're so dumb the computer tells you what to do."

You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

And a cookie to whoever pulls that reference out of their ass. :D
Mystery Men

May a Bird of Paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with its toes
May your wife get runners in her hose
May a Bird of Paradise fly up your nose!

You're a jerk. A complete kneebiter.

You're so dumb you could get hit by a parked car.

thats from Mystery Men
And you get a cookie. Sorry Ri-an--just a little bit faster and you'd have gotten one. :p

You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

And a cookie to whoever pulls that reference out of their ass. :D
two people got it before me, but yeah, its mystery men.

"I can't feel my ass!"

You're as smart as a tame turkey in a rain storm.

Domestic turkeys have had the brains bred out of them. I think it has something to do with the connection between brains and big breasts.

A turkey will stand in the rain and drown rather than going inside or covering it's beak.

May all your beers and women be flat

You're as smart as a tame turkey in a rain storm.

Domestic turkeys have had the brains bred out of them. I think it has something to do with the connection between brains and big breasts.

A turkey will stand in the rain and drown rather than going inside or covering it's beak.You should have consulted snopes (http://snopes.com/critters/wild/turkey.htm) first.

If I were to insult someone, the worst I could probably think of would be "Your mother is a whore, but I don't blame her for taking after your Grandmother"

Fresh from the Penny-Arcade:

You Slack-jawed junkslut


edit: by the way, do you mean b.st.rd or b.tch? a.d wh.t good is it to r.place l.tters wh.n you c.n read the w.rds anyw.ys?

Fresh from the Penny-Arcade:

You Slack-jawed junkslut


edit: by the way, do you mean b.st.rd or b.tch? a.d wh.t good is it to r.place l.tters wh.n you c.n read the w.rds anyw.ys?

Biotch and none :)

Here's an insult generator, knock yourself out.

http://www.durbnpoisn.com/insults/

By the way, you are a slimy pile of ass cheese.

Ya know, at times i'm a nasty f*cker. But i ain't got nothin' right now.
Guess i can't work in a vacuum - i need to be provoked.
So cheers to y'all. There's some funny ones.

Ye be naught but a gang 'o gleeking, gorbellied maggots. Yer mutters're whey-faced, fat-kidneyed strumpets who lost der rotten cherries ta swag-bellied, beslubberin 'ol curmudgeons!

I've always been partial to:

Cum-burping gutter slut.
and
Self-aggrandizing, solipsistic, drama queen.

May all your beers and women be flat
When I lived in Nebraska we used to say, "Our women are like our state----Broad, Flat, and Windy."

You should have consulted snopes (http://snopes.com/critters/wild/turkey.htm) first.
I usually believe snopes, BUT, my wife's family raised turkeys. I don't know if they are looking up or too frightened to go inside, but if a storm is coming you have to go out and herd them inside or you will have lots of dead turkeys.

Chickens and other domestic birds are raised indoors their first few weeks but they know enough to go inside when it starts to rain. So the snopes arguement isn't valid. So why do turkeys die in the rain and other birds don't? Snopes didn't answer why this only happens to turkeys.

Either way big breasts seem to relate to less intelligence.

Even Jesus hates your guts. :)
Bob Dylan

You two bit, four-flushing, dirty, rotten, low-down, indescriminant clod!

(Wizard of ID - The King is a Fink)

Yo mama...

I'd call you a bitch, but you make Loreena Bobbit look like a Care Bear.

Who's Your MOMMY!!!!!

God hates you and Jesus only loves you because he has to.

All these "Jesus thinks your a sissy, Jesus thinks so and so", is this how Christians hurl insults?

Oh yah? Well, Nebuchanezzar thinks your a shithead. I bet that hurt.

"Not only are you ugly, you're stupid too" Great line for making new friends:D

I do believe that whatever's up your ass, has something up its ass. (Not my insult, but I have always liked it).

You evil, not so nice, dirty, rotten. irratating, ugly, retarded, son of B!#@#

How's this:
To Whomever it may concern:
Ok you dong-slurping manwhore, your mother enjoys the company of strange men; often disappearing for days at a time, returning much later wearing nothing but a smile on her face and a handful of cash. Oh, and she's ugly.
This message was brought to you by Nestlé.
Ciao,
-Dr. Socko

"I bet somewhere out there, a village feels deprived of their idiot."

I usually stick to calling cunts.. Cunts.

You smell bad. Really bad. I mean it. Knock it off.

May your chooks turn into emus & kick your dunny door down.

Best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress

Your parents met at a family reunion, didn't they?

When you fell off the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down and landed in a big pile of ugly leaves.

"How tall are you?"
<wait for answer>
"Holy dogshit! I didn't know they could stack shit that high!"

"You're fucking pathetic cockwad."

"Go eat some cuntcheese."

"Your brain is made of cuntwad."

"Your mother is so nasty, that when I asked what was for dinner, she just spread her legs and said 'crabs'!"

pretty much any insult depends upon whome you're trying to insult with it. say it to one person and the'll nuke you. say it to another and they'll take it as a compliment.

probably the best one for a homophobic white supremist would be "your parents were brothers".

probably the best one for anyone else would be your "parents were homophobic white supremists"

the other problem of course is that intentionaly insulting anyone contributes nothing to the kind of world i want to live in, and honor is never served by vengence.

=^^=
.../\...

"You lowdown, pathetic, dirtcrawling PISSWORM!!"

I find the stain on my new shoes shoe laces more appealing as a sexual partner than you.

Your head is SMALL!!! SMALL head!

In Wellington, that means that your head is actually very large. Personal joke I guess.

Your head is SMALL!!! SMALL head!

In Wellington, that means that your head is actually very large. Personal joke I guess.

:confused:

:confused:
Lol. Ok well I just came back from a cricket trip. Now one guy in my team has a rather large head. So, another guy would say "Oh SMALL head!" whenever he talked. In response, the person with the large head, would say "Sorry cube head" as his head is slightly boxy. It's very complex and I guess you had to be there :)

I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal,

food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother

was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Well, on the "positive Bush decisions" thread, i had been provoked. Maybe take a gander there. I just feel like i'm in good company here, and ...
Burns: I bring you love!
Hibbert: [smoking a cigar] Is that the love between a man and a woman or the love of a man for a fine Cuban cigar? [chuckles]
Burns: Uh... I bring you love!
Lenny: It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!
Carl: Break its legs!
...
Mr. Burns (high-pitched voice): Hello, children, I bring you love.
Groundskeeper Willie: Aaaah! It's a monster! Kill it! Kill it!
(Smithers steps in.)
Smithers: Stop! It's not a monster. It's Mr. Burns!
Groundskeeper Willie: Awww. It's Mr. Burns! Kill it! Kill it!
...
Bart: But, what's with the glowing?
Burns: Um, I'll field that question. A lifetime of working in a nuclear
power plant has given me a healthy green glow. [to himself] And
left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
And now that I'm back to normal, I don't bring you peace and
love. I bring you fear, famine, pestilence and...

I've stepped in things smarter than you.

"You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!!!!!!!"

All people ever use anymore are the same tired curse words, ie "Kiss my A-, you peice of S-, F- you."

I think these are kind of boring.

So I invite you to unload insults upon (erased)*, make them colorfull, make them creative.

Curse words can be used, but should not be the soul of the dis, ie "donkey raping sh*t eater" would be acceptable.

Begin.

* I guess your not allowed to insult me directly due to forum rules, so insult a non existing person!

Where's the C word in the poll?

Badly performed abortion is a personal favourite, as is.....

- malodorous ingrate
- pisslips (burnt face man specific;) )

Your Mother has swallowed more semen than Moby Dick!

Yo momma so fat, lastnight I f*cked her bellybutton!

You deserve yourself.

You smell like asparagus pee.

You deserve yourself.

I believe we have a winner.

Name These Tv/Movie Character insults for a Free Fashnatt (yes, I know this is misspelled.) (warning food cannot be transmitted through the internet. Winners must claim their prize by 2/28/2006. No, I wont tell you where.)

1) "...One of us is a Jay-Oh-Oh." (*******)

2) "What lowdown, slanderizen' sonnova b!tch said that? My name is ****** ******. Not 'Babyface'!"

3) "That is the lamest smack talk I ever heard. You should have asked me how it feels to be so far below you that I couldn't read 'Suck it, ****' if you wrote it on your shoes." "So how does that feel?" "Damn."

*Ahem* To pull out Blackadder.

I hope your mother dies in a freak yachting accident.

Or.

Your disguise is about as effective as a giraffe wearing dark glasses trying to get into a polar bear only swim club.

The last one is situation specific, but, oh well.

Or to call on Ultimate Spiderman...

Your so fat when you cut yourself shaving, marshmallow fluff comes out.

You big fat fatty of a fat man.

Not gonna waste my time on someone god hates.

Insult Me
I invite you to unload insults upon (me)You cluster-fucked, sister-molester, panty-smelling, tit-guzzling, zit-popping, fuck-brained cum-eater! :D

Oceans' 12?No, we are actually @ Ocean #3

:D :D :p :D

You're mommas' so fat, when she cuts her leg, gravy comes out.
I don't sing folks, this is the show.

May all the precious stones in the world accumulate in your gall bladder.

I believe we have a winner.

My three favourite insults:-
"You look like the sort of man who would crawl over a mile of pussy to get to a fat dead boys asshole"
"you like the sort of music a priest could hum whilst raping a choirboy"

and my own particular favourite...

"You are a waste of sperm and eggs"

:)

The best part of you ran down your dad's leg.

All people ever use anymore are the same tired curse words, ie "Kiss my A-, you peice of S-, F- you."

I think these are kind of boring.

So I invite you to unload insults upon (erased)*, make them colorfull, make them creative.

Curse words can be used, but should not be the soul of the dis, ie "donkey raping sh*t eater" would be acceptable.

Begin.

* I guess your not allowed to insult me directly due to forum rules, so insult a non existing person!
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

When the good Lord made you, why did He have to go and ruin a perfectly good asshole by putting teeth in it?

You know what? You are the only living result of anal conception.

one ive picked up along my travels that offended me, however it did come about verbal sparring after i got accused of being a nazi but hey!

oh yeah your mom is a whore found out she got her vulva peirced too,

ive been desensatised to the word C*nt, its just stale now

and i find people are more offended when you mix foreign or colloquial words into an insult.. try it!

"Your brain is so minute that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit."

Can't beat the good old Blackadder insults!:)

You Quim-faced cock rocker

Go stróice cúnna ifrinn do thóin bheagmhaitheasach.*

There are few greater joys in this world than insulting people in Gaelic.

*May the Hounds of Hell knaw at your worthless bottom.



All people ever use anymore are the same tired curse words, ie "Kiss my A-, you peice of S-, F- you."

I think these are kind of boring.

So I invite you to unload insults upon (erased)*, make them colorfull, make them creative.

Curse words can be used, but should not be the soul of the dis, ie "donkey raping sh*t eater" would be acceptable.

Begin.

* I guess your not allowed to insult me directly due to forum rules, so insult a non existing person!

A couple of my old favorites:

"Youre the guy I know, who can sit in a lollipop and tell me what flavor it is."

"Youre the only guy I know, who could fuck a Cheerio."



A famous movie insult:

"You rat-soup eatin', no business havin', born insecure, junkyard mutha FUCKA!"
-Dolomite.

You sir are not only an embarresment to your country, your people and humanity itself, but are a pompous womanising ass-rapist who is in need of a few bulletwounds to the brain.

You are nothing more than a hopeless little demon roaming the earth in a hopes of finding your long lost brain.