NationStates Jolt Archive

Drunk calls are the best part of life, in the spirit of that, I've summarized my best drunk calls -as they've been racalled to me... from last night...

Drunk Call One:

Left on a friend's voicemail:
{{name removed}} you fucking Dutch bastard! You're so fucking fat! Fuck you! OI, mate, you want to come to my cocktail party? Fuck off you fat bastard...It's at 6:30 at mine you fat Dutchman...

Drunk Call Two:

Oh My Gooooooooooooood. Oh my fucking Goooooooooood! I hate Goooooooood. Fuck Goooooooooooood! I hate {{name removed}}. We ordered four jugs and {{names removed}} forgot their ID. I had to skull four jugs of beer my... You know what? I hate the Jews. All the Jews. Well not all the Jews... JEW JEW JEW JEW! Gooooooooooooood! And then the.... Jews

Drunk Call Three
Left on my own answering machine:

Fuck you ah! I hate you. Fucking Catholic bastard... we had a conversation with the Jews and want you to... FUCKith OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF Man... man... I need you to call me a taxi.... Wait... I got another call... it's god.... he says FUCK YOUR MOTHER! FUCK YOUR SISTER! I hate you man... SOOOOOOOO much! {{sound of retching}} I think I drank too much...Come pick me up {{Rotovia}} man...

am i supposed to laugh? :confused:

never been one for drunk calls myself. drunk texting, or drunk posting, maybe... but i hates talking on the phone

You have a sister and people call you Rotovia?:p

You have a sister?
No. I think it's from some shitty horror movie with a redneck clown.

am i supposed to laugh? :confused:

never been one for drunk calls myself. drunk texting, or drunk posting, maybe... but i hates talking on the phone
If you're drunk, yes. If not, no. I think they only make sense when you're drunk.

I like to streak through European capitals while drunk, screaming at the the top of lungs in tongues.

No. I think it's from some shitty horror movie with a redneck clown.
But people know you as Rotovia?:confused:

I like to streak through European capitals while drunk, screaming at the the top of lungs in tongues.
As apposed to when you're sober and you speak 5th Century Latin?

But people know you as Rotovia?:confused:
*IS CONFUSED*

How does that relate to the quote?

As apposed to when you're sober and you speak 5th Century Latin?
Did I ever say I was sober?

well, i got a call at 2 in the morning who said something along the lines of "hey, i'm drunk im the middle of the street". i can't remember how long it took before i hung up, but i had school the next day, minus 2 hours of sleep because of it

*IS CONFUSED*

How does that relate to the quote?
That was the answer you gave to me question...

Did I ever say I was sober?
I love you. If we lived in the Australian Capital Territory I'd make you my common law gay lover, with the ability to register on the BDM Register as a married couple...

That was the answer you gave to me question...
"Fuck your mother... Fuck your sister... Fuck your grandmother..." Is a line form a horror movie. I have no idea why I felt the need to repeat it then

well, i got a call at 2 in the morning who said something along the lines of "hey, i'm drunk im the middle of the street". i can't remember how long it took before i hung up, but i had school the next day, minus 2 hours of sleep because of it
Was it me? Because I deny it all

I don't tend to call when I'm drunk, but I tend to sms when I'm drunk, or ride my bicylce (bicycles are very common in the netherlands for those who did not know that) into the bushes *oops* But its always great fun :D (best part is that i don't tend to get hangovers, no matter how drunk i get)

Was it me? Because I deny it all
i don't think so, unless you're the red under the bed

in my recent drunken experiences, i haven't been calling or smsing anyone, though it appears i have a tendency to carry around little italian girls, if i can get my hands on them :p

i have a tendency to carry around little italian girls, if i can get my hands on them :p
This story must be told!

I once yelled at my friends gf on the phone because she didn't know who I was and 'I'm a celebrity'. He thought it was funny apparently. Drunk dialing is more fun than being drunk dialed.

I once yelled at my friends gf on the phone because she didn't know who I was and 'I'm a celebrity'. He thought it was funny apparently. Drunk dialing is more fun than being drunk dialed.
So true. It's self enforced karma for all the the 3am phone calls I've taken

This story must be told!
well basically, at a friend's 18'th, after consiming vast quantities of alcohol over a relatively short period i picked up one of the girls there and carried her around. several times, nearly dropping her once. not that i remember doing it. that and attacking people with the axes that made up part of my berserker costume

well basically, at a friend's 18'th, after consiming vast quantities of alcohol over a relatively short period i picked up one of the girls there and carried her around. several times, nearly dropping her once. not that i remember doing it. that and attacking people with the axes that made up part of my berserker costume
Brilliant

Brilliant
i see... does this mean we're going to have to start drinking together?
that may result in me making drunken phone calls

i see... does this mean we're going to have to start drinking together?
that may result in me making drunken phone calls
Provided that you only call yourself, that's fine.

Provided that you only call yourself, that's fine.
yes, but at this point in time it is far more likely that i'll be calling the girl i like, which may result in me saying quite a few things that'll make her alot less likely to go out with me

Speaking of carrying women strangers...
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/theme/festivals/festivals_wife.htm
*loves Finland*

i see... does this mean we're going to have to start drinking together?
that may result in me making drunken phone callsYes. But, I warn you, I may choose to sexually harras you...

Yes. But, I warn you, I may choose to sexually harras you...
i think i'll survive. i have been told some of the stuff i do when drunk counts as sexual harassment

i think i'll survive. i have been told some of the stuff i do when drunk counts as sexual harassment
Sexual harrasment and drunkedness are important parts of any weekend

Sexual harrasment and drunkedness are important parts of any weekend
sadly for me, this weekend will contain little of either, looks like i'll have to prepare for the next one

sadly for me, this weekend will contain little of either, looks like i'll have to prepare for the next one
Mine will contain both. My cocktail parties always do

Sexual harrasment and drunkedness are important parts of any weekend
There's always a loophole in the sexual harrasment part though. Its not harrasment if they end up liking it! *shifty eyes*

Mine will contain both. My cocktail parties always do
lucky bastard. though admittedly, the last cocktail party i went to had both, which was fun