NationStates Jolt Archive

Why Did the Chicken cross the Road? (iraq style)

Coalition Provisional Authority:

The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

Halliburton:

We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.

Muqtada al-Sadr:

The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.

US Army Military Police:

We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.

Peshmerga:

The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.

1st Cav:

The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately
detained and searched in accordance with current SOP's. We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.

Al Jazeera:

The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

Blackwater:

We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.

Translators:

Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.

U.S. Marine Corps:

The chicken is dead

Just thought I had to share...:D

Very good. :p

Lol!

Why did the terrified tourist in Turkey cross the road?

to get away from the chicken with bird flu.

Rumsfeld style:

There was no chicken.

Was it its will to cross the road?
What made it do it?
Did she regreted of her decition afterwards?
Will other chikens follow her example?

Interesting question indeed, that undoubtly leads to even more question, so it may never be solved.

Unless of course we talk with the chicken in question.

Bush:

The Chicken cross the road because it wanted freedom. It crossed the road because it realizes that we might fight the evil-doers in order to gain freedom. The chicken wants to be free, just like us. However, there are terrorist out there that doesn't want the chicken to cross the road, they don't want the chicken to be free. We must help the chicken fight the terrorist and to give the chicken it's freedom...

Was it its will to cross the road?
What made it do it?
Did she regreted of her decition afterwards?
Will other chikens follow her example?

Interesting question indeed, that undoubtly leads to even more question, so it may never be solved.

Unless of course we talk with the chicken in question.

Of course, perhaps we must ask, was the existence of the road and indeed the chicken a sign of divine providence. For as the book of Religious Psuedo-Science doth say, everything has a purpose, and thus we prove the existence of God. What was the purpose of the chicken? Is there merely one chicken, endlessly crossing the road, like Sisyphus labour up the mount with the rock, or have there been many chickens, lo unto the tenth generation. Can the chicken explain to us whether evolution, creationism or the Psuedo-Science known as Intelligent Design is correct? Will we ever find a proto-chicken, an ancestral chicken we can designate "the missing cluck"?

And will Nick Park make another movie involving it, in claymation form?

Deep questions. Big road. Brave chicken.

Bush:

The Chicken cross the road because it wanted freedom. It crossed the road because it realizes that we might fight the evil-doers in order to gain freedom. The chicken wants to be free, just like us. However, there are terrorist out there that doesn't want the chicken to cross the road, they don't want the chicken to be free. We must help the chicken fight the terrorist and to give the chicken it's freedom...

They hate the chicken for it's freedom, it's freedom to cluck, like our forefathers clucked against the British, and against the Narziiis. Imagine a world with no clucking. Thats what Al Quaida want. And if you don't vote for me and my spawn and then allow us ever more sweeping dictatorial powers of arbitary arrest of chickens who "look a bit halal", they'll get it.

Attorney General:

I'm not comfortable talking about why he crossed the road at this moment.

Al Qaida: Kill the chicken infidels!

Bush:

The Chicken cross the road because it wanted freedom. It crossed the road because it realizes that we might fight the evil-doers in order to gain freedom. The chicken wants to be free, just like us. However, there are terrorist out there that doesn't want the chicken to cross the road, they don't want the chicken to be free. We must help the chicken fight the terrorist and to give the chicken it's freedom...


God told the chicken to cross the road.
She was choosen by god, to lead the other chickens and to be their police, the chicken will afterwards set bases in foreign countries to protect them.

Rumsfeld style:

There was no chicken.

Or, indeed, "it was a tragic accident and a personal matter between myself and the chickens next of kin whether or not i shot the chicken on purpose or i was simply drunk as a lord. Now if you'll excuse me, my wife has cooked me some nice soup and i am going to eat it whilst plotting the enslavement of all mankind by my dread master BeelzeBush. Yes, it's chicken soup. No more questions. Thank you."

God told the chicken to cross the road.
She was choosen by god, to lead the other chickens and to be their police, the chicken will afterwards set bases in foreign countries to protect them.

I believe man and the chicken can co-exist peacefully.

Bush:

I tell the world here and now, we helped the chicken!
And i suggest to other international leaders to do the same, in order to reach a golden age.

Now watch this shot! (playing golf)

Bush:

I tell the world here and now, we helped the chicken!
And i suggest to other international leaders to do the same, in order to reach a golden age.

Now watch this shot! (playing golf)

Bush:

The chicken has been liberated. It is now free to cross the road. As we speak, coalition forces are in control of the slipways and are stopping all heavy terrorist traffic from entering the area. Mission accomplished. Gawd bless Murika.

the chicken crossed the road to kill anybody who tells this stupid joke.

Bush:

The Chicken cross the road because it wanted freedom. It crossed the road because it realizes that we might fight the evil-doers in order to gain freedom. The chicken wants to be free, just like us. However, there are terrorist out there that doesn't want the chicken to cross the road, they don't want the chicken to be free. We must help the chicken fight the terrorist and to give the chicken it's freedom...
ROFL! You have to imagine it said in the Jon Stewart Bush parody way... :D

Deep questions. Big road. Brave chicken.
Sigged :p

the chicken crossed the road to kill anybody who tells this stupid joke.

Oh get you. Saucer of milk for table two.

Sigged :p

God, a sign i spend too long on here, i've been sigged.

;)

Ta muchly.

Because it pissed off Chuck Norris who was on the chicken's original side.