NationStates Jolt Archive

Man allegedly killed roommate over toilet paper
Fla. prosecutors say victim beaten so badly he had to be ID'd by fingerprints

Updated: 4:52 a.m. ET Feb. 21, 2006
MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.

Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.

Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney.



Heres a story for the "Excessive force" category. Well i bet there will be plenty of Toilet Paper in prision. I mean a sledge and a claw? That's one hell of a beating

WHAT? Only one person dead? Last time I ran out of TP, I killed the whole building of those paper hoarding sons of bitches. :rolleyes:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11471503/


there fixed the link

Roommates at 50-something? What's the story there?

Roommates at 50-something? What's the story there?
Either drinking buddies who never ended up getting married or possibly gay would be my guess, but who knows?

Either drinking buddies who never ended up getting married or possibly gay would be my guess, but who knows?
I think it's a late Beavis and Butt-head episode.

I am Cornholio!!! I need TP for my bung-hole.

Either drinking buddies who never ended up getting married or possibly gay would be my guess, but who knows?


well if they'er gay then we know who wears the pants

People have been killed for less.

Well, ok, they haven't really, but still. It's the principle of the thing.

People have been killed for less.

Well, ok, they haven't really, but still. It's the principle of the thing.


yeah nothing like getting a sledge to the head for your roommate not being able to wipe his ass

yeah nothing like getting a sledge to the head for your roommate not being able to wipe his ass
Theres nothing worse than a dirty ass.

Theres nothing worse than a dirty ass.

nothing smellier too.

I wonder if is ass was still dirty when he killed the other guy...

I know that would make me temporarily insane.

I wonder if is ass was still dirty when he killed the other guy...

I know that would make me temporarily insane.
Lawyers everwhere will live in fear of the Dirty Ass Defense.

Lawyers everwhere will live in fear of the Dirty Ass Defense.


"If it smells like shit, you must acquit!"

"If it smells like shit, you must acquit!"
LOL!!! :p

The story makes me sad, the follow up posts make me lmao:p :D

"If it smells like shit, you must acquit!"

Thats freaking great!!! :D

that just grinds my gears when there is no tp, i think that is one of the reasons ww1 started.

Thats freaking great!!! :D

that needs to be a quote in someones sig. it's even funnier than the Chewbacca defense

TP is IMPORTANT!:mad:

Isna't a sledgehammer more expensive than TP? I mean, just go out and buy some...

Isna't a sledgehammer more expensive than TP? I mean, just go out and buy some...


or worse comes to worse use some newspaper....

Isna't a sledgehammer more expensive than TP? I mean, just go out and buy some...
Yes, but the principle, man. The principle.

or worse comes to worse use some newspaper....
Worse come to worse is actually use hand.

Worse come to worse is actually use hand.

Or a stone...:(

Yes, but the principle, man. The principle.

is the principle worth going to prison for?

Worse come to worse is actually use hand.

Or a stone...:(


I'd use a towel or something, maybe a stone, defintely not my hand. I drop some bombs and the nuclear waste is too hot too touch.

Were we just talking about bad reasons to kill someone? Well, there you go!

is the principle worth going to prison for?
The state ensures adequate supplies of TP in prison.

The state ensures adequate supplies of TP in prison.


LOL! They also ensure daily anal rapings as well. Its chiv or be chivved.

Note to self: replace toilet paper. NOW.

Or a stone...:(
Or a scrubbing brush.



Seriously though. This was way over the top. He should have just used his roommate's toothbrush.

He could have just turned the tap on and splash some water on his ass.

Paper? My God! What kind of uncivilized animals don't have a bidet?

Paper? My God! What kind of uncivilized animals don't have a bidet?
Or at least a garden hose!

Paper? My God! What kind of uncivilized animals don't have a bidet?


<---does not have a bidet, and likely never will get one

Paper? My God! What kind of uncivilized animals don't have a bidet?
Apparently the barbarians that inhabit Jesusland.

Or at least a garden hose!


or if times are desperate enough a fire hose. that'll be for some deep cleanin action

He could have just turned the tap on and splash some water on his ass.Or just bathe. Most toilets are within proximity of a tub or shower. I personally hate toilet paper. Never really feel clean afterwards if you know what I mean. I always try to time it so I can bathe right after a BM. It just seems to make more sense.

they also have those wipes

Only in the US...
Actually, that's not true... I would have expected a shooting death over TP before a sledge and claw hammer...
One more reason for me to never set foot in the South. :P

Only in the US...
Actually, that's not true... I would have expected a shooting death over TP before a sledge and claw hammer...
One more reason for me to never set foot in the South. :P


its not much better in the northern parts of the us. Its like deliverance mostly anywhere you go...especially in PA