NationStates Jolt Archive


Man gets Darwin award for stapling his "member" to a cross and setting it on fire

Minoriteeburg
20-02-2006, 23:41
A former Christchurch student who set his penis aflame in order to win a $1000 pub promotion has been awarded a dubious world honour.


Nearly seven years on, Thomas Hendry's bizarre feat has gained a special mention in the Darwin Awards – recognising those who have improved the human gene pool by leaving it.

To qualify for the cult-status United States awards, nominees must have lost their reproductive capacity by killing or sterilising themselves.

Hendry stopped short of the ultimate sacrifice, but features in the latest book on the awards for illustrating the innovative spirit of candidates.

"I'm tickled pink, actually," said Hendry, now 29 and running a gothic nightclub in central Melbourne.

"I am still genuinely surprised at the stir it did create. I didn't think it was that big a deal at the time."

In 1999, as a cash-strapped, 23-year-old computer trainee, Hendry came up with a zany idea to outdo his rivals at the How Far Will You Go? promotion at Trader McKendry's Tavern in central Christchurch.

He stapled his penis to a crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it ablaze before a stunned crowd, including his mother.

Hendry won $500 cash, an equivalent bar tab and worldwide infamy.

He went to a free students' medical centre the next day and had his burnt and bruised member dressed.

The macabre act made headlines in The Press, the police stepped in and the pub lost its licence for a week over Christmas.

Television New Zealand was hauled before the Broadcasting Standards Authority after the Mikey Havoc show screened a rerun of the event.

Hendry spent the prize money on his car, registering his bloodhound cross, Puss, and a one- way ticket to Australia.

Speaking from Melbourne, where he now lives with Puss, Hendry's only regret was that he did not get live footage of his winning act or even decent photographs.

He had been inspired by an earlier contestant who pierced his penis foreskin with a safety pin.

"I thought I could do better than that."

Fortifying himself with a bottle of wine, Hendry took a white pine crucifix and, with an industrial stapler, pumped 18 staples into his scrotum and foreskin.

Hendry earned a total $2600 for his efforts, including royalties from the re-enactment and photos.

But was the notoriety worth the pain?

"Absolutely. It's a fun story to have up your sleeve," Hendry said.

"I usually keep quiet about it at work when I've got a new job. But eventually something leaks out or I might let slip to someone, accidentally on purpose, just for fun.

"It's not something I have dropped into any dinner conversations with girlfriends' parents or anything like that. You have to pick your moment for sure."

As for the wooden crucifix used in his act, it is still getting him into strife.

On a visit to Christchurch last April he retrieved it from his mother's wardrobe. But on his return trip Melbourne custom officers found traces of borer and refused to let the crucifix into the country.

"It cost me $A30 ($NZ33) to fumigate it and then they released it a month later and now it is sitting in my lounge on the sideboard.

"I'll chuck it up on (internet auction site) eBay one day."


"He stapled his penis to a crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it ablaze before a stunned crowd, including his mother. "

Ok so this guy beats out the pencil-in-penis guy by a mile.

heres a pic of the winner in what could be the finest WTF story to date.
http://stuff.co.nz/inl/common/imageViewer/0,1445,224337,00.jpg

http://stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3578626a4560,00.html
Imperiux
20-02-2006, 23:43
Right. We really needed to know that did we?
Sdaeriji
20-02-2006, 23:44
You know he's probably still technically capable of reproduction....
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
20-02-2006, 23:45
Yeah, I've met guys like that. They'll do anything for some cash, and they even look fairly normal (or at least, not as weird as you'd expect).
Minalkra
20-02-2006, 23:52
Old news, read about this, man, years ago.
Achtung 45
20-02-2006, 23:52
Yeah, I've met guys like that. They'll do anything for some cash, and they even look fairly normal (or at least, not as weird as you'd expect).
And as America (the book) points out, they too, can be the next Chief Justice in the U.S. Supreme Court. :eek:
Newtsburg
21-02-2006, 00:06
Yeah, I've met guys like that. They'll do anything for some cash, and they even look fairly normal (or at least, not as weird as you'd expect).

Anyone will do anything for the right price.
Straughn
21-02-2006, 00:23
"He stapled his penis to a crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it ablaze before a stunned crowd, including his mother. "

Ok so this guy beats out the pencil-in-penis guy by a mile.

heres a pic of the winner in what could be the finest WTF story to date.
http://stuff.co.nz/inl/common/imageViewer/0,1445,224337,00.jpg

http://stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3578626a4560,00.html
Moddamnit, i used to like the impartiality of this forum.
Now i find myself salivating at the prospect of your next NEWS post. I'm coming to trust you too much.
Irijatli Feliryha
21-02-2006, 00:34
You know he's probably still technically capable of reproduction....

Which, oddly enough, probably ensures that the next generation will have their own sources of grotesque comedy.

Ow.

Where do these guys get these ideas?
Newtsburg
21-02-2006, 00:35
Which, oddly enough, probably ensures that the next generation will have their own sources of grotesque comedy.

Ow.

Where do these guys get these ideas?

They have a little voice in thier head that tells them to do things. Mine usually says, "Get you post count up."
Fass
21-02-2006, 00:36
I know cock & ball torture people who would pay good money to have that done to them.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
21-02-2006, 00:39
And as America (the book) points out, they too, can be the next Chief Justice in the U.S. Supreme Court. :eek:
Nah, these guys have too much class to do anything like that.
Deep Kimchi
21-02-2006, 00:39
I know cock & ball torture people who would pay good money to have that done to them.
Let's not get started on subincision, ok? Some things are just too gross.
Eutrusca
21-02-2006, 00:53
"He stapled his penis to a crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it ablaze before a stunned crowd, including his mother. "

http://stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3578626a4560,00.html
God! That story gave me a major twinge! :eek:
Deep Kimchi
21-02-2006, 00:57
God! That story gave me a major twinge! :eek:
There are worse things, believe me.
Norgopia
21-02-2006, 01:31
You know he's probably still technically capable of reproduction....

Let's just hope he doesn't. We don't need any penis-lighting children in our schools.
Valori
21-02-2006, 01:53
I think I'm going to feel empathy pain in my lower extremities for a long, long time.
Straughn
21-02-2006, 02:10
I think I'm going to feel empathy pain in my lower extremities for a long, long time.
The trick now is to get your mind off that by producing a comparable/contrasting pain in a different part of your body.
I recommend perusal of Goatse material on the net.
The message would get deated if i gave links to 'em.
*nods*
Newtsburg
21-02-2006, 02:20
The trick now is to get your mind off that by producing a comparable/contrasting pain in a different part of your body.
I recommend perusal of Goatse material on the net.
The message would get deated if i gave links to 'em.
*nods*

Tubgirl is much much worse.

But that's a debate for another thread.
Minoriteeburg
21-02-2006, 02:54
Moddamnit, i used to like the impartiality of this forum.
Now i find myself salivating at the prospect of your next NEWS post. I'm coming to trust you too much.


LOL Gooooooood Gooooooooood *evil grin*

and it sure as hell beats all the viva la facism/liberalism/christianity/muslim/someone convert me threads that seem to congeal from the gutters and find their way on the forum everyday.

God! That story gave me a major twinge! :eek:

Then I did my job.
Straughn
21-02-2006, 03:01
Tubgirl is much much worse.

But that's a debate for another thread.
I've heard that, but i'm not experienced as such. I guess i'll let my imagination fill in the blanks ... ;)
Straughn
21-02-2006, 03:03
LOL Gooooooood Gooooooooood *evil grin*

and it sure as hell beats all the viva la facism/liberalism/christianity/muslim/someone convert me threads that seem to congeal from the gutters and find their way on the forum everyday.

Yes, like the ones i tend to clutter the place with on occasion!
Truly, a bastion, you are.
Monkeypimp
21-02-2006, 03:03
Old news, read about this, man, years ago.


Probably because it happened years ago. The article is because he's just been given a darwin award for it.



Also, people outside NZ bother with stuff.co.nz :confused:
Minoriteeburg
21-02-2006, 04:12
Yes, like the ones i tend to clutter the place with on occasion!
Truly, a bastion, you are.


thank you. I just do what I can with what I got.