NationStates Jolt Archive

i am in love with a women my age(45) but i like 20 year old hard bodies.

i am beyond confused,she is awesome...totally a great women,but i have not been in a relationship since my divorce like 6 years ago.

i have been doing the shallow sex thing with young hotties....but i know it amounts to nothing,now i meet this women,and damn i like her!

but i am a shit.....i like the no strings sex stuff....and hot young girls...but i feel like a creep now,she is all respectable and nice...how the hell do i break the subject,let alone tell her i like her alot?

i guess i am beat...life biting me in the ass...i just really love her,she is mature and wise...and cute as all..to me....but i think if she finds out i am a shallow shit...i am done,and i really aint shallow..just lazy.

any non sarcastic advice?

Well personally, the first thing i'd do is figure out if the person actually cares about you at all before you get too worked up about it, and the second thing is, well, you could try to become non-shallow, though I don't really get this dating lingo stuff much myself :/.

I would say try honesty. It is obvious from your post that you realize what is shallow and creepy about how you have been behaving. So if she calls you on it, fess up. And tell her that you feel bad about it BECAUSE you met her and realized what you had been doing. And that you hope she can forgive this flaw in you because you would really like the chance to get to know her better.

Then make sure you follow through and cut it out. Actions are more impressive than words anyway.

you answered your own question. You said she's cute. You have physical attraction. You said she's mature, wise. You have intellectual attraction. You pretty much said you want more.

do it, man. Get her before some other guy does ;)

Well, I really suspect you can't have both, so you just need to decide which is more important to you: hot young thing sex or respectable love? Nobody's gonna blame you for liking girl-body, but your lady-friend might just blame you for acting on it like your physical desires were your only desires. To me, it seems obvious that love-sex is more satisfying than lust-sex... but other people don't seem to agree. I guess really the question is what do YOU think?

The best thing to do is to realize the shallow stuff needs to stop. you have to do this before you do anything else. after you do this, realize if this is the one that you can see being with you the rest of your life. then, you have to do the honesty thing. it's gonna suck, but it is the best way to do this. if she really loves you, and you really do stop with the shallow stuff, she will forgive you, even if it takes a little while. in the end, if you 2 love each other, it will work out in the end. hope it goes good for you.

wow...your right..i love you guys/gals...i am such a twit....she is what i always wanted...thanks for pointing out what was under my nose.

i hate lieing,but i think she might have a problem with the shallow side of me,and i dont want to disrespect her by lieing more,but the other girls mean nothing...but she will probably be pissed i am such a shit....i do care for the others,but it was no promises kinda crap,with her.i would promise!

i am damned if i do and damned if i dont!

i am damned if i do and damned if i dont!
Yeah, maybe so. But one the time until eternal damnation and burning in hellfire and all that will be spent in a heaven-like state ;)

wow...your right..i love you guys/gals...i am such a twit....she is what i always wanted...thanks for pointing out what was under my nose.

i hate lieing,but i think she might have a problem with the shallow side of me,and i dont want to disrespect her by lieing more,but the other girls mean nothing...but she will probably be pissed i am such a shit....i do care for the others,but it was no promises kinda crap,with her.i would promise!

i am damned if i do and damned if i dont!

Honesty is the best policy. and also remember karma. if you do something good (tell her the truth), good things will come back to you (you fill in the blank).

Stick with the hot young ones that you can get rid of in a hurry. The old ones are hard to get rid of, and they manage to stick around for a long time. When they get naggy and ugly, its hard to leave them because she's already tricked you into marrying her. If you do manage to get out with your pride intact she still gets half your money and a portion of your salary for an indefintite period of time, and God help you if she manages to fool you into having kids.

Honesty is the best policy. and also remember karma. if you do something good (tell her the truth), good things will come back to you (you fill in the blank).
Karma is bull shit.

Get some!!! (i meant that as in the Marine Corps. term for "Go for it!" etc, not in a sexual way)

Dude! Ask her out!


---Premier of The Armed Republic of Wanderjar
:)

Karma is BS if you think it is. But if you believe it then it happens to you.

I say tell her. Don't lie because lieing will always get you into more trouble than not in situations like this.

and besides, if you think she would care, then she would probably rather know than not in the long run.

Karma is bull shit.

it's works for me in the way i look at life, just trying to help someone else.

it's works for me in the way i look at life, just trying to help someone else.
Imaginary forces have never helped anything or worked for anybody. You know it was invented as a means to justify a strict caste system, right?

Imaginary forces have never helped anything or worked for anybody. You know it was invented as a means to justify a strict caste system, right?

ummmm, read my last quote, i believe i said it works for me, so i guess count me as the first.

Stick with the hot young ones that you can get rid of in a hurry. The old ones are hard to get rid of, and they manage to stick around for a long time. When they get naggy and ugly, its hard to leave them because she's already tricked you into marrying her. If you do manage to get out with your pride intact she still gets half your money and a portion of your salary for an indefintite period of time, and God help you if she manages to fool you into having kids.
good point, you should listen to 'em

Karma is BS if you think it is. But if you believe it then it happens to you.

I say tell her. Don't lie because lieing will always get you into more trouble than not in situations like this.

and besides, if you think she would care, then she would probably rather know than not in the long run.

i was always raised to NOT lie.and i do believe in kharma,i just am afraid if she finds out how truly horrible i am...then i will lose something special.

i aint really that horible,but i always think the worst of me i guess,but who wants the person they love too see the bad side?
i care for her,and i am really quite nice,but i worry my past will bite me,and it is nothing,but it is what it is!

on 1 hand..i am honest and tell her the girl on the phone is some twit i play with,on the other hand...i should just tell her...i love you and thats it...(keep in mind i wont cheat)

honesty sucks!

Stick with the hot young ones that you can get rid of in a hurry. The old ones are hard to get rid of, and they manage to stick around for a long time. When they get naggy and ugly, its hard to leave them because she's already tricked you into marrying her. If you do manage to get out with your pride intact she still gets half your money and a portion of your salary for an indefintite period of time, and God help you if she manages to fool you into having kids.



a bit bitter are we?

or do you you have a good point?

ergo the question.
;)

wow...your right..i love you guys/gals...i am such a twit....she is what i always wanted...thanks for pointing out what was under my nose.

i hate lieing,but i think she might have a problem with the shallow side of me,and i dont want to disrespect her by lieing more,but the other girls mean nothing...but she will probably be pissed i am such a shit....i do care for the others,but it was no promises kinda crap,with her.i would promise!

i am damned if i do and damned if i dont!

Well, if she has a problem with your shallow side, she has a problem with it. If that's the case, go and work out a compromise.
And why do you think she would have a problem with you liking no-strings sex? Many people do... talk to her about it.

Hey, if you fucked around after your last relationship, it's what you did and it doesn't define you as a person. If you love her, tell her so and stick with it aslong as its true. If she ask you, be honest, if she doesn't, just don't talk about it. What's important is what lies ahead of you, not your past. And aslong as you don't go around cheating on her, I can see no problem with your past.

OK I was a hot young twenty something, and now I am top end 30, so not yet the same age as the lady you are in love with, but I have to tell you that experience makes for WAY better sex than just being young, I think that you are just learning what makes you feel good when you are in your twenty's and that it takes maturity and confidence to make a really good lover, after all, sex with a young male is rubish for most women, especially since THEY tend to think they are fantastic at it...I have been having the best sex of my whole life with a guy who has just turned 50. (He is fit and he has learnt a few things and WOW)

Be honest with yourself, then be honest with this woman. You have been married, and you know that sex is not everything in a relationship. (I love sex and cant get enough of it, so please dont think this is a older woman saying it as an excuse, you KNOW the score) and to the guy who says be careful about her trapping you into marriage and OH MY GOD children...DUDE don't you think young women want to be married and have babies? for god sake...older women are WAY more secure in their own skin than that...It is the young ones who are more likely to want a baby.

If you DO really like her, then do what YOU want and not take the advice on here, being in a relationship with someone is a 'whole person' thing, and if you do really feel about her like you say you do...why do you even need to ask? Sort out your head and be honest...if she is all you say she is, what the hell are you doing on the computer reading this instead of calling her and telling her what you feel?

:D