Eutrusca
18-02-2006, 20:15
I got these in an email, so you may already have seen them, but meh! :)
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I need a new apartment!"
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist.
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him!
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you get when an epileptic farmer falls in his lettuce patch?
Seizure salad.
What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
Did you hear about the flasher that was thinking about retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help... after it bites your leg off.
What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I need a new apartment!"
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist.
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him!
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you get when an epileptic farmer falls in his lettuce patch?
Seizure salad.
What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
Did you hear about the flasher that was thinking about retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help... after it bites your leg off.
What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.