NationStates Jolt Archive

I mentioned earlier that I would elaborate on the pigeon thing and now I shall.

I was eating my breakfast outside this morning on the food court patio at the university and, as I usually do, I brought crackers to throw to the pigeons.

I collected a nice amount of them. Looked to me like there were about 60-80 of the birds enjoying my gift.

Anyway, a couple of guys walked up to me and the following conversation happened:

Guy: Why do you feed those rats?
Me: I like them.
Guy: Well they annoy the shit out of everyone. Stop feeding them so they'll go away.
Me: But they're hungry.
Guy: So?
Me: Are they not part of Allah's creation? How we treat the least of Allah's creatures is how we will be treated in Paradise.
Guy: Least, eh? Well Muslims are lower than pigeons, so I guess it's fitting.
<Guy 2 puffs out chest>
<I laugh, bow a little, and continue feeding the birds>
<Guys walk away saying "fuckin' Muslims" a lot>

So ... what would you have done?

offered him a cracker as well :)

offered him a cracker as well :)

Awesome. Wish I would have thought of that.

crushed up some crackers and rubbed them in his hair, and watched as the pigeons attacked.

Awesome. Wish I would have thought of that.
well there is always breakfast tommarow morning:)

I mentioned earlier that I would elaborate on the pigeon thing and now I shall.

I was eating my breakfast outside this morning on the food court patio at the university and, as I usually do, I brought crackers to throw to the pigeons.

I collected a nice amount of them. Looked to me like there were about 60-80 of the birds enjoying my gift.

Anyway, a couple of guys walked up to me and the following conversation happened:

Guy: Why do you feed those rats?
Me: I like them.
Guy: Well they annoy the shit out of everyone. Stop feeding them so they'll go away.
Me: But they're hungry.
Guy: So?
Me: Are they not part of Allah's creation? How we treat the least of Allah's creatures is how we will be treated in Paradise.
Guy: Least, eh? Well Muslims are lower than pigeons, so I guess it's fitting.
<Guy 2 puffs out chest>
<I laugh, bow a little, and continue feeding the birds>
<Guys walk away saying "fuckin' Muslims" a lot>

So ... what would you have done?
1) I wouldn't have fed the pigeons.

2) I wouldn't have been so polite to those two guys.

well there is always breakfast tommarow morning:)

We shall see if they return.

I know the pigeons will.

Best thing you can do is laugh it off and forget about it.

I wouldn't even mention religion to someone coming up looking for an argument in the first place though.

You shouldn't feed wild birds. It's bad for them

(Shouldn't feed anything wild actually).

1) I wouldn't have fed the pigeons.

2) I wouldn't have been so polite to those two guys.

Aye ... well ... I'm not a violent man. What I need is a violent friend.

1) I wouldn't have fed the pigeons.

2) I wouldn't have been so polite to those two guys.


No , DC would have simply made cracker crumbs out of them.

You shouldn't feed wild birds. It's bad for them

(Shouldn't feed anything wild actually).

Pigeons in the city aren't wild. Damn things are practically pets. ;)

You shouldn't feed wild birds. It's bad for them

(Shouldn't feed anything wild actually).


Pigeons are as domesticated as cats.

No , DC would have simply made cracker crumbs out of them.
No, I'd just convince them that they want to keep walking while they still can. If they decided to do something though, well I suppose two against one justifies me getting a little stabby.

Spend careful months feeding the pigeons every morning so they trust you completely. Then, bring them to your secret facility miles underground, and train them to do your bidding. The next time the two guys appear, unleash your new hoard of pigeons upon their unsuspecting necks.

or offer the guys a cracker.

Pigeons in the city aren't wild. Damn things are practically pets. ;)

Meh. The priniciple's the same. :)

Meh. The priniciple's the same. :)

Besides! If I fatten up the pigeons, the homeless have more to eat!

Think of the homeless!

Meh. The priniciple's the same. :)


don't feed your pets?

don't feed your pets?

The pigeons are not actually pets. Don't tell anyone though. It's a secret.

Besides! If I fatten up the pigeons, the homeless have more to eat!

Think of the homeless!

Alright, you got me there. :p

Besides! If I fatten up the pigeons, the homeless have more to eat!

Think of the homeless!
Or, y'know, you could bypass the pigeons altogether.

Just a suggestion. =)

Besides! If I fatten up the pigeons, the homeless have more to eat!

Think of the homeless!
*misses the point*
How dare you suggest that homeless people might eat anything other than steaks and rib roasts! It isn't theirr fault that they're booze sodden bums living on societies hand outs, you should live on pigeons! You're evil like Hitler, you Filthy Atheistic Jewish Muslim Christian Republican Hypocrite! You-
*vein in forehead explodes, showering blood everywhere*
EEEAAARRRrrrggghhh . . . .
*dies*

Well the pigeons have the advantage of numbers and flight but Muslims have better tactics and are better at working together. Muslims also hold the size advantage.

*reads OP and realises that this isn't a thread about who could beat up who*

*posts anyway for lack of anything better to do*

*misses the point*
How dare you suggest that homeless people might eat anything other than steaks and rib roasts! It isn't theirr fault that they're booze sodden bums living on societies hand outs, you should live on pigeons! You're evil like Hitler, you Filthy Atheistic Jewish Muslim Christian Republican Hypocrite! You-
*vein in forehead explodes, showering blood everywhere*
EEEAAARRRrrrggghhh . . . .
*dies*
*Watches as a few pigeons nibble at Fiddle's remains*

The circle of life continues.

Yes. Those damn muslims, always feeding pidgeons, destroying our society.

Kudos for not allowing yourself to be baited by those guys. By dismissing their attempted insult, you let them shame themselves without stooping to their level.

Well the pigeons have the advantage of numbers and flight but Muslims have better tactics and are better at working together. Muslims also hold the size advantage.

*reads OP and realises that this isn't a thread about who could beat up who*

*posts anyway for lack of anything better to do*


yes but pigeons can poop on your head - pigeons win

yes but pigeons can poop on your head - pigeons win

True but they will need to 'rearm' frequently. If the Muslims can get organised quickly they could take over all of the pigeon food sources and hold the pigeons off, leaving them defenceless.

Or, y'know, you could bypass the pigeons altogether.

Just a suggestion. =)

I bet the homeless would take it as an insult if you threw crushed up crackers onto the ground for them to eat. ;)

Aye ... well ... I'm not a violent man. What I need is a violent friend.

i'm game!
EDIT: er, yeah, not violent violent, just violent. violent enough for you?

Yes. Those damn muslims, always feeding pidgeons, destroying our society.
You joke, but pigeons have long been the enemies of Western democracy.
Don't believe me? Do you know what the second article of the French Decree Abolishing the Feudal System had to do with?
Pigeons. The subject of compulsory tithes didn't even come up until article 5, selling of public office wasn't gotten to until article 7, but the pigeons had to be dealt with with all speed becuase pigeons are the true enemies of Democracy. And, yes, they do hate us for our freedoms.
Vive le Resistance, tuez les pigeons!

Or, y'know, you could bypass the pigeons altogether.

Just a suggestion. =)

Actually he did bypass the pigeons. He opened his home to several Katrina victims. :)

I would have used my hypnotic mind powers to dive-bomb the pair with Pigeons.

*Vroooooooooooom*

Actually he did bypass the pigeons. He opened his home to several Katrina victims. :)

Oh! That reminds me! A couple of them will be moving out tomorrow. They found jobs and have been approved for an apartment. I am pleased.

Oh! That reminds me! A couple of them will be moving out tomorrow. They found jobs and have been approved for an apartment. I am pleased.
Good job!

Aye ... well ... I'm not a violent man. What I need is a violent friend.

or one of these guys.

http://www.bodyguardsecurityservices.com/protection.htm

You shouldn't feed wild birds. It's bad for them

(Shouldn't feed anything wild actually).
Pigeons are so not wild. If you raise them, and feed them exclusively on grain, they're known as Squab - and while I haven't had the pleasure, apparently they make fine dining.

And if you don't feed the pigeons, they'll just go eat garbage out of trashbins. And that sure as Hell isn't good for them.

You joke, but pigeons have long been the enemies of Western democracy.
Don't believe me? Do you know what the second article of the French Decree Abolishing the Feudal System had to do with?
Pigeons. The subject of compulsory tithes didn't even come up until article 5, selling of public office wasn't gotten to until article 7, but the pigeons had to be dealt with with all speed becuase pigeons are the true enemies of Democracy. And, yes, they do hate us for our freedoms.
Vive le Resistance, tuez les pigeons!

J'ai toujours voulu tire un pigeon pour liberte. :p

(damn computer won't do acutes)

pigeons are natures evil plot

I think

OR it might be that they are just opportunist birds who are braver than I would be faced with a pigeon that was as tall as a tower-block throwing huge chunks of cracker at me.......

Pigeons in the city aren't wild. Damn things are practically pets. ;)


Amen to that. When I was in D.C. over the summer time i pretty much had the pigeons on leashes..Damn things...Them and squirrels..annoying,yet cute...

As for those two pricks, you should of been wearing a heavy trenchcoat, then screamed "prais be to allah" followed by a bunch of jumble that might sound like arabic to the average american idiot. Then you could a move to opening your coat..and boom..Im sure those bastards would have crapped themselves, and you could have had a great laugh.

Burn the denmark flag?

Spend careful months feeding the pigeons every morning so they trust you completely. Then, bring them to your secret facility miles underground, and train them to do your bidding. The next time the two guys appear, unleash your new hoard of pigeons upon their unsuspecting necks.
Ah, yes, the classic. My way of choice when talking to rude people. *Gets eaten by birds*

I mentioned earlier that I would elaborate on the pigeon thing and now I shall.

I was eating my breakfast outside this morning on the food court patio at the university and, as I usually do, I brought crackers to throw to the pigeons.

I collected a nice amount of them. Looked to me like there were about 60-80 of the birds enjoying my gift.

Anyway, a couple of guys walked up to me and the following conversation happened:

Guy: Why do you feed those rats?
Me: I like them.
Guy: Well they annoy the shit out of everyone. Stop feeding them so they'll go away.
Me: But they're hungry.
Guy: So?
Me: Are they not part of Allah's creation? How we treat the least of Allah's creatures is how we will be treated in Paradise.
Guy: Least, eh? Well Muslims are lower than pigeons, so I guess it's fitting.
<Guy 2 puffs out chest>
<I laugh, bow a little, and continue feeding the birds>
<Guys walk away saying "fuckin' Muslims" a lot>

So ... what would you have done?


Although he was eventually revealed to be a bit of an asshole the guy did have a point.

Pigeons are vermin and you shouldn't really feed them in public places, it's inconsiderate to people who have to share that space yet don't like to be pestered by disease-ridden flying rats.

Nothing to do with you being a Muslim though, I used to throw cake to wild monkeys when I was staying in Dharamsala; most irresponsible.

I would put the crackers in their hairs and watch the fun ensue! Then I would do the whole arab yodeling thing, I dunno what you call it. Stewie did it on Family Guy, you know where Peter became President of his own country.

Spend months teaching the pigeons that those two guys are "THE ENEMY"™. When they are suitably brainwashed, cybernetically enhance them with laser blasters fitted to their heads and wired into their brains (or whatever amounts to a brain anyway). Sit back, relax, and watch the fun ensue.

I mentioned earlier that I would elaborate on the pigeon thing and now I shall.

I was eating my breakfast outside this morning on the food court patio at the university and, as I usually do, I brought crackers to throw to the pigeons.

I collected a nice amount of them. Looked to me like there were about 60-80 of the birds enjoying my gift.

Anyway, a couple of guys walked up to me and the following conversation happened:

Guy: Why do you feed those rats?
Me: I like them.
Guy: Well they annoy the shit out of everyone. Stop feeding them so they'll go away.
Me: But they're hungry.
Guy: So?
Me: Are they not part of Allah's creation? How we treat the least of Allah's creatures is how we will be treated in Paradise.
Guy: Least, eh? Well Muslims are lower than pigeons, so I guess it's fitting.
<Guy 2 puffs out chest>
<I laugh, bow a little, and continue feeding the birds>
<Guys walk away saying "fuckin' Muslims" a lot>

So ... what would you have done?

I would've kicked the guy in the sack (nah, I really wouldn't've, but I would've spat on his sorry ass... face, really). Houston's a great area, eh? First, it was anti-black bullshit (decades ago), then it was anti-French bullshit (a few years ago), now it's anti-anything-but-American bullshit.

I would've kicked the guy in the sack (nah, I really wouldn't've, but I would've spat on his sorry ass... face, really). Houston's a great area, eh? First, it was anti-black bullshit (decades ago), then it was anti-French bullshit (a few years ago), now it's anti-anything-but-American bullshit.
Pigeons are t3h 3vil and must be stopped! They oppressed the French in the feudal period, crapped on the English in the Industrial Revolution, and taste like shit all the time.
Death to the enemies of the Republic, death to the oppressors, death to the pigeons!

Well... pigeons vs muslims...

Pigeons are a nuisance. Go to Venice and you will understand. In fact, they are a nuisance whereever you go and they're perfectly capable of taking care of themselves: no need to feed them extra food. Not to mention they're good at spreading disease. Basically, pigeons suck.

Now Muslims typically aren't a nuisance (excepting a few). Get a few muslim friends and you will understand (okay, I haven't done this yet :p ). They are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and you don't have to feed them extra food (unless there's a drought and they need the foreign aid, but meh, they would probably do the same for us). Muslims aren't very good at spreading disease, they seem to be pretty good at containing it. Basically, muslims rock.

:D

Pigeons are t3h 3vil and must be stopped! They oppressed the French in the feudal period, crapped on the English in the Industrial Revolution, and taste like shit all the time.
Death to the enemies of the Republic, death to the oppressors, death to the pigeons!

Don't make me use this plunger, man. :p

Aye ... well ... I'm not a violent man. What I need is a violent friend.
I will be your friend!! :D

I will be your friend!! :D

Same here. I'm not exactly "big" yet (hey, I have a few years to go!), but I'm ferocious nonetheless.

Don't make me use this plunger, man. :p
Hey, I didn't clog your toilet. That was the fault of the Unholy Pigeon Empire!
France has recently uncovered evidence that they are pursuing a nuclear weapons program (although, a typo supplanted "P" with "I" and replaced "igeo" with "ra", but they got the last letter right in their press releases).
There is only one hope that can defeat the pigeons, arming the homeless across the world with pellet guns and frying pans.

Hey, I didn't clog your toilet. That was the fault of the Unholy Pigeon Empire!
France has recently uncovered evidence that they are pursuing a nuclear weapons program (although, a typo supplanted "P" with "I" and replaced "igeo" with "ra", but they got the last letter right in their press releases).
There is only one hope that can defeat the pigeons, arming the homeless across the world with pellet guns and frying pans.

Blah, blah, blah... I'm too busy to read the rest of your post (well, I'm not actually busy, but oh well). Anyway, the plunger is for raping. Which end? Find out next week, same Pot-time, same Pot-channel!

Blah, blah, blah... I'm too busy to read the rest of your post (well, I'm not actually busy, but oh well). Anyway, the plunger is for raping. Which end? Find out next week, same Pot-time, same Pot-channel!
*runs screaming out of thread*
PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGEEEEEEEOOOOOOOONSS!!!!!!

(I should catch whatever brand of the cold I am currently infected with more often. Nothing like a nice bit of fever with a cold syrup chaser to make everything seem so damned amusing)

Same here. I'm not exactly "big" yet (hey, I have a few years to go!), but I'm ferocious nonetheless.

There's no need to be big when one has a firearm. :)


--------------------------
I'll be your violent friend.

(And we can strengthen the Judeao-Islamic relations while we're at it.)

There's no need to be big when one has a firearm. :)


--------------------------
I'll be your violent friend.

(And we can strengthen the Judeao-Islamic relations while we're at it.)

Firearms are nice, sure, but it's far more satisfying to beat the shit out of somebody. :p

I mentioned earlier that I would elaborate on the pigeon thing and now I shall.

I was eating my breakfast outside this morning on the food court patio at the university and, as I usually do, I brought crackers to throw to the pigeons.

I collected a nice amount of them. Looked to me like there were about 60-80 of the birds enjoying my gift.

Anyway, a couple of guys walked up to me and the following conversation happened:

Guy: Why do you feed those rats?
Me: I like them.
Guy: Well they annoy the shit out of everyone. Stop feeding them so they'll go away.
Me: But they're hungry.
Guy: So?
Me: Are they not part of Allah's creation? How we treat the least of Allah's creatures is how we will be treated in Paradise.
Guy: Least, eh? Well Muslims are lower than pigeons, so I guess it's fitting.
<Guy 2 puffs out chest>
<I laugh, bow a little, and continue feeding the birds>
<Guys walk away saying "fuckin' Muslims" a lot>

So ... what would you have done?
Probably the same thing I used to do when I smoked. Moved away so I could keep feeding the pigeons without bugging everyone else.

Anybody ever seen dutch pigeons? I have some friends from America, and they were really amased by the size of the pigeons here in the netherlands. I have to admit, they are pretty big... I know some one who even cooks for pigeons, now that is crazy

Firearms are nice, sure, but it's far more satisfying to beat the shit out of somebody. :p


That's why you kneecap them, then take a hung of rebar to thier face.

That's why you kneecap them, then take a hung of rebar to thier face.

Bah, PVC pipe is better. You can swing it faster, and it stings more than it actually "hurts".

I mentioned earlier that I would elaborate on the pigeon thing and now I shall.

I was eating my breakfast outside this morning on the food court patio at the university and, as I usually do, I brought crackers to throw to the pigeons.

I collected a nice amount of them. Looked to me like there were about 60-80 of the birds enjoying my gift.

Anyway, a couple of guys walked up to me and the following conversation happened:

Guy: Why do you feed those rats?
Me: I like them.
Guy: Well they annoy the shit out of everyone. Stop feeding them so they'll go away.
Me: But they're hungry.
Guy: So?
Me: Are they not part of Allah's creation? How we treat the least of Allah's creatures is how we will be treated in Paradise.
Guy: Least, eh? Well Muslims are lower than pigeons, so I guess it's fitting.
<Guy 2 puffs out chest>
<I laugh, bow a little, and continue feeding the birds>
<Guys walk away saying "fuckin' Muslims" a lot>

So ... what would you have done?


Lol man, that's classic!

I probably would have just completely ignored them until they got so frustrated with me they did something that I could skew in court as assault, then I'd do nasty, nasty unmentionable things to them that would leave them unable to attend court while I charge them with assault.

That or I'd ask them if they showered, because they smell worse then the birds.