Chuck Norris wins at the internet
Teh_pantless_hero
14-02-2006, 19:28
http://msn.foxsports.com/bestdamn
- Scroll down
This business has made him so popular, he is getting national media attention.
Chuck Norris wins at the internet for 2006, despite being early in the season. He may actually rival Leroy Jenkins. Look for references to his Chuckness coming to games near you, mainly Guild Wars (whose developers love references to pop culture).
Remember: Saws arn't coated with diamond dust to increase their cutting ability, they are coated with shavings of Chuck Norris' beard.
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 20:25
Chuck norris once challenged Lance armstrong to a contest on who has the most tesitcles. Chuck norris won by 5
Anarchic Conceptions
14-02-2006, 20:29
Hmm, can't get it to work.
Moosenstein
14-02-2006, 20:34
http://msn.foxsports.com/bestdamn
- Scroll down
This business has made him so popular, he is getting national media attention.
Chuck Norris wins at the internet for 2006, despite being early in the season. He may actually rival Leroy Jenkins. Look for references to his Chuckness coming to games near you, mainly Guild Wars (whose developers love references to pop culture).
Remember: Saws arn't coated with diamond dust to increase their cutting ability, they are coated with shavings of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris has more balls then a pachinko parlor
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 20:35
i had it work just fine.
Gift-of-god
14-02-2006, 20:39
Remember: Saws arn't coated with diamond dust to increase their cutting ability, they are coated with shavings of Chuck Norris' beard.
How does he cut his beard then? Only Chuck Norris knows.
Teh_pantless_hero
14-02-2006, 20:42
Hmm, can't get it to work.
Use Internet Explorer, or Netscape I assume will work.
Sdaeriji
14-02-2006, 20:45
How does he cut his beard then? Only Chuck Norris knows.
He just glares at it in the mirror until each individual hair breaks off at the precise same spot.
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 20:47
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Cheese penguins
14-02-2006, 20:58
Ok may i just ask (it has been plaguing my mind for a bit now) why is there so much Chuck Norris "worshipping"??? did i miss him like stop an alien invasion single handedly or something?? :confused:
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 21:02
Ok may i just ask (it has been plaguing my mind for a bit now) why is there so much Chuck Norris "worshipping"??? did i miss him like stop an alien invasion single handedly or something?? :confused:
....you haven't read the 3 gospels according to Chuck.
Ok may i just ask (it has been plaguing my mind for a bit now) why is there so much Chuck Norris "worshipping"??? did i miss him like stop an alien invasion single handedly or something?? :confused:
I believe it all started when somebody invented some "facts" about him. Then someone created a site where people can submit their own. Take a look at this: http://www.4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck
Ok may i just ask (it has been plaguing my mind for a bit now) why is there so much Chuck Norris "worshipping"??? did i miss him like stop an alien invasion single handedly or something?? :confused:
Pretty much, yeah.
When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
[NS:]Ninpou
14-02-2006, 21:06
Contary to (seemingly) popular opinion, Chuck Norris does not kick ass. Chuck Norris is a theatrically worthless, washed-up B actor who was forced out of acting, resorting to ten "Total Gym Workout" commercials a day to feed his coke habit. I guess he should've followed the cheesy, pseudo-inspirational "lessons" the characters he played taught.
It would make more sense if the whole "outside Inside Joke" was based on someone who actually "kicked some ass" (again, arguably) in his day, like Steven Seagal, Van Damme, even Vin Diesel. Chuck Norris kicks no ass.
That should be treated as gospel.
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 21:06
Chuck Norris doesn't really use the total gym as advertised, he trains by benchpressing and roundhouse kicking redwood trees, the total gym is what everyone else has to use.
[NS:]Ninpou is a heretic. Burn the heretic!!
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 21:14
[NS:]Ninpou is a heretic. Burn the heretic!!
no need for burning just remember this:
29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Teh_pantless_hero
14-02-2006, 21:16
Ninpou']That should be treated as gospel.
When I am king, I will decree all people who lack a sense of humor be sentenced to live on an island with Gilbert Godfried, Carrottop, and Larry the Cable Guy.
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 21:20
When I am king, I will decree all people who lack a sense of humor be sentenced to live on an island with Gilbert Godfried, Carrottop, and Larry the Cable Guy.
you're forgetting Howie Mandell, Paula Poundstone, Jimmy Fallon, Andy Dick, and Sarah Silverman
now am I forgetting anyone?
Chuck Norris really is a decent guy, though, so it's not a bad thing he's getting all this praise, regardless of whether or not it's "true".
I suppose that's why his "facts" are more prevalent than Vin Diesel's or Mr. T's.
Teh_pantless_hero
14-02-2006, 21:26
you're forgetting Howie Mandell, Paula Poundstone, Jimmy Fallon, Andy Dick, and Sarah Silverman
now am I forgetting anyone?
Replace Sarah Silverman with Will Ferrell.
Minoriteeburg
14-02-2006, 21:28
Replace Sarah Silverman with Will Ferrell.
Replace Will Ferrell with whoever wrote those "I'm Gellin" dr. sholls commercials
Gauthier
14-02-2006, 21:30
you're forgetting Howie Mandell, Paula Poundstone, Jimmy Fallon, Andy Dick, and Sarah Silverman
now am I forgetting anyone?
Andy Kaufmann. Only time he was even remotely funny was on Taxi.
Replace Sarah Silverman with Will Ferrell.
Howie Mandell is bad ass. If you've seen his new standup act, he's slightly different than how he was, or he's just showing more of it.
I've always been a fan of Paula Poundstone. She kicks ass, I dunno how you couldn't know that. When I think of late-80's/early-90's female comedians, I can only think of one that I actually liked.
Jimmy Fallon always sucked.
Andy Dick always sucked.
Sarah Silverman's new standup/movie thing is actually pretty decent. *shrugs* I dunno, I like her.
Teh_pantless_hero
14-02-2006, 21:41
Replace Will Ferrell with whoever wrote those "I'm Gellin" dr. sholls commercials
No, because Will Ferrel isn't funny.
Vittos Ordination2
14-02-2006, 21:54
He just glares at it in the mirror until each individual hair breaks off at the precise same spot.
He then shatters the mirror as no mirror is good enough to reflect his awesome visage more than once.
Gauthier
14-02-2006, 22:07
He then shatters the mirror as no mirror is good enough to reflect his awesome visage more than once.
Not even. The mirror melts into molten glass out of sheer terror once Chuck finishes shaving with his glare.
Minoriteeburg
15-02-2006, 20:09
Not even. The mirror melts into molten glass out of sheer terror once Chuck finishes shaving with his glare.
I thought Chuck Norris didn't have a reflection