NationStates Jolt Archive

Its 1:38 in the morning, it's Valentine Day, and I got The Aviator Soundtrack playing. I'm just sitting here thinking about an old crush of mine. Her name was Diana, and she was dating a guy named Paul throughout High School. Back in High School I was going through alot of surgery, and everytime I would come back to school she would always say stuff like how she missed me, glad I was back etc. We had two history classes together and when we found out about that we were happy. During our senior year she did sit beside me after lunch in the hallways, we never talked but still...she was a pretty cool girl. I would like to think that if she was single I would've had a chance with her, but I doubt it. She was probably just being nice. I do not know how to read women! lol.

Anyways, how many of yall thought about your old crushes?

I try to avoid doing so. All except one hate me.

Ummmm...all the time? No, maybe like once or twice a week. I'm still in high school so this is like the time where I have a new crush like once a month, but those are passing. The people I seriously like...that's a different story.

Yes, we "women" are a confusing bunch.

Ummmm...all the time? No, maybe like once or twice a week. I'm still in high school so this is like the time where I have a new crush like once a month, but those are passing. The people I seriously like...that's a different story.

Yes, we "women" are a confusing bunch.

Yes, please stop it with the "I'm fine" thing when yall aren't really fine. Be straight forth! :p

Yes, please stop it with the "I'm fine" thing when yall aren't really fine. Be straight forth! :p

You mean "straightforward"?

No, I think I'm just innately schizophrenic. I never know which side of my personality will come out. And I tell boys that I don't like, that I like them (makes for complicatingness) and the boys I truly like, I'm too shy to say a word. Kinda sucks. < == Understatement.

Today I think only about "new crushes" I spend enough time thinking of them.

I think if you leave someone or vice versa you need in any case time to forget him/her. But when you find a new relationship, it will alleviate your pain. There were some girls in my life where i have forgotten their name and some I will always remember ( for the good days and the bad times ).

I never got many crushes, thankfully.

One in particular I remember from summer camp a long time ago - a girl who always smiled and said "hi" to me when she saw me, but that wasn't what was attractive about her. She was smart, kind, and funny, and, though I hate admitting that I base my choices on anything but personality traits, she had a degree of physical attractiveness as well. I talked with her a lot (not privately, just in the ordinary scheme of things), and it would be reasonable to say that we were casual friends.

I came very close to asking her to dance once, but my friends were there and my insecurity complex (regarding romance, I'm insecure about little else) kicked in.

The last day she asked me to hug her, which I did, platonically. I still wonder whether my feelings were reciprocated. Come to think of it, they probably were. Oh, well. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway, unless she had taken the initiative.

It was never a very strong crush, though I remember feeling vaguely regretful for about a month afterward.

I got an SMS from Australia this morning. I'm fine, yay! :D

I never got many crushes, thankfully.

One in particular I remember from summer camp a long time ago - a girl who always smiled and said "hi" to me when she saw me, but that wasn't what was attractive about her. She was smart, kind, and funny, and, though I hate admitting that I base my choices on anything but personality traits, she had a degree of physical attractiveness as well. I talked with her a lot (not privately, just in the ordinary scheme of things), and it would be reasonable to say that we were casual friends.

I came very close to asking her to dance once, but my friends were there and my insecurity complex (regarding romance, I'm insecure about little else) kicked in.

The last day she asked me to hug her, which I did, platonically. I still wonder whether my feelings were reciprocated. Come to think of it, they probably were. Oh, well. It wouldn't have made any difference anyway, unless she had taken the initiative.

It was never a very strong crush, though I remember feeling vaguely regretful for about a month afterward.

You explained that very...mathmatically.

I got an SMS from Australia this morning. I'm fine, yay! :D

huh?

Vaguely regretful...sounds like most boys I know...on just about everything. Nothing really seems to get through to them, emotionally wise, that is.

huh?
Erm...text. I don't think we got SMS in the States. Anyhow, its prolly the only "Happy Valentines" I'll be getting from an "Old Crush." So, I'm fine.

Vaguely regretful...sounds like most boys I know...on just about everything. Nothing really seems to get through to them, emotionally wise, that is.

Well except for the Emos, and the homosexuals, guys don't tend to be emotional creatures.

I sometimes think about my ex. But usually it's for bad reasons or just remembering things. I dunno, I don't have any feelings for her now. So meh.

Well except for the Emos, and the homosexuals, guys don't tend to be emotional creatures.

Yeah, if you guys did, I wouldn't like you as much anyways. Part of your charm is the mystery, perhaps? *rolls eyes* ...I have to "get up" in 4 hours to go to school. Wonderful.

Well except for the Emos, and the homosexuals, guys don't tend to be emotional creatures.
Or we do, we just don't show it.

Or we do, we just don't show it.

That's true too.

You explained that very...mathmatically.

I think that's my problem. The only thing that can make me anything less than cold-hearted and rational is music. That's why I came close to acting at a dance, and not elsewhere - good music, not the awful leftist trash I usually listen to while posting on NationStates, has a very strong effect on me emotionally.

Vaguely regretful...sounds like most boys I know...on just about everything. Nothing really seems to get through to them, emotionally wise, that is.

What can I say? Guilty as charged. Probably more so than a lot of others, too.

Well except for the Emos, and the homosexuals, guys don't tend to be emotional creatures.

That used to be true with me, but my fiancee used magic womyn powers on my brainmeat and turned me into lovey puddy under her control, but not so much to where she's unhappy with the amount of control she thinks she has over me.

Yes. I love her enough to whoop logic's ass and contradict my very being on a daily basis.

Do I think about my ex's? As a raw question, the answer is a snap "Hell no." - as a question my fiancee asks me because she needs a session of audio therapy to learn about my past and who I was and therefore who I am now, the answer is "Only for you, baby."

I'm willingly her boytoy, her manslave, her guardian, her enemy, her god, her servant, her nothing and her everything. Yes. I am whipped, and I've never been happier.

Myself, yes. For a while today, since school ended, I've been thinking of the girl I've felt more for than any other girl in my life so far.

She isn't interested in me. I know this, and I've known it for a little while. However, it was the two or so years that I didn't know, that made me want to die.

While I don't want to get into details, I'll say that though I know nothing will ever be between us, that I still love her. In an incredibly strange way, I love her more than being in a relationship. I actually love her for who she is, even if I hate her otherwise.

Does she love me? She's said it, many times. I don't think she does, and I don't expect her to. I am incredibly fucked up in the head.

Ohh well, this valentines day is dedicated to getting drunker than I have ever been before.

I try to avoid doing so. All except one hate me.
All but one?
You obviously weren't trying with that one!

ALL of my ex's hate me! (*feels smug about having one over K*)

All of my crushes did just that.

I don't think all that much about past crushes, but I know that bring in love life limbo sucks.. especially on V-day

Hmm it's strange actually... I saw an old crush of mine a few days ago. We haven't seen one another for a few years and back then nothing was going on between us... like seriously nothing... and besides it was just a stupid little primary school crush, but I still was fascinated. I didn't talk to him or anythin, infact I wasn't even dead certain that it was him but I was just curious... and I even still liked him for about 10minutes... is that strange or is everyone like that?:confused:

I got an SMS from Australia this morning. I'm fine, yay! :D
.... yeah? well me too :P

to answer the question yes. I try not to but...

Anyways, how many of yall thought about your old crushes?
Only occasionally, and usually when indulging in sordid acts of self-pollution.

We've all got tales of woe, I'm sure. My own isn't any more or less remarkable than anyone else's.

I'd just had my heart broken for the first time, it was February 10th and my girlfriend of some three months had broken it off over the phone. Long distance, that was a kick in the teeth.

With my money for Valentine's Day saved, I'd retreated home (home being a small country town) and my parents convinced me to go to the local show (county fair) with them. I bumped into a girl who had once given me a rose at high school as a kind of friendly joke. She'd heard all about my breakup through mutual friends and, it being Valentine's Day, she had made me a cute little card. I was ninteen at this point and she was a rather naive sixteen. The card was sweet, though, and no amount of self pity could stop me from falling for her. I mean, something as simple as a card and I just realised what a sweet girl she was.

We spent both nights at the show together chatting, holding hands, and doing all of that tentatively flirty stuff that usually is the prelude to something else. I was still in self pity mode, though, and I told her how much I missed being in love - being able to write poetry and go to movies and surprise my girl. She quickly offered to be my 'substitute'. Basically said she wanted to do all of that stuff with me but me, my all time low self esteem clouding my judgement, assumed she was joking and I said no. She said she was joking but the entire dynamic was spoiled.

We've barely said four words since but Christ, she was a remarkable girl. The kind of girl who could make you feel wide awake and excited about life with just a cheeky smile.

Yeah, I hate Valentine's Day.

All but one?
You obviously weren't trying with that one!

ALL of my ex's hate me! (*feels smug about having one over K*)

Ah, ex-crushes. Not ex-girlfriends. :p

I think i'm one over you, considering that they haven't even been in a relationship with me and they still hate me. :D

yeah there was a girl on a french trip which I took in the summer before final year a few years back who I got on really well with. She was into politics and so on but unfortunately I never saw her again:(

Ah, ex-crushes. Not ex-girlfriends. :p

I think i'm one over you, considering that they haven't even been in a relationship with me and they still hate me. :D
Yeah? Well I tell women when we first meet to take an instant dislike to me, just to save their time.
Beat that! :p

"Old Crushes"

LOL! Strange you should mention that. I went through a period a couple of years ago where I was determined to search out all my old "crushes." I wanted to see what they were like now, and to put the make on those who still fell within the parameters of acceptability. :D

Almost all of them had married and changed their names and were difficult to locate, until we had our last HS reunion. Some of them had divorced and were very happy to hear from me. A distressing number of them were now ... shall we say, considerably larger than when I had a crush on them. I managed to hook up with five of the "acceptable" ones.

One of them was a girl named "Pinky" for whom I had the major hots when I was a Junior in college. She had lived in Alaska, but was back in our hometown for awhile when I began talking to her again. I drove up to meet her and we had a most amazing "reunion" of our own. She tried to talk me into moving back to Alaska with her! Heh!

Her name is irrelevent, she was the most beautiful girl in school bar none. We only met because I was captain of the wrestling team and she kept score of all my matches. One day during practice my arm snapped in half and ended my two year winning streak. Frustrated I was forced to help with the score cards, a task for the wrestlers deemed useless. However, it gave me the chance to sit next to her and talk. Aside from trivial chit chat we didn't know each other that well. Over the next year we became pretty close. My freshman year she dated a real scumbag for over a year and told me how often she hated him, at one point he confronted me where I proceeded to neutralize the threat. She hated me for beating the piss out of him and I haven't talked to her since. Did I enjoy breaking that man like a toy? Yes. Did I smile at my bloody fist? Most Definately. Do I have any regrets? No.

I've stopped trying to help people.

Yeah? Well I tell women when we first meet to take an instant dislike to me, just to save their time.
Beat that! :p

Okay. I don't even have to tell them. :p

I didn't have many crushes, but when I did, it was a big thing. I hardly ever think about the first one, since I haven't had any contact with him for years. I have occasional fleeting thoughts about another, since we're still on friendly terms and I know broadly what he's doing with his life at present, but I certainly don't dwell on him at all. Perhaps if I was single, I would think more about him, what might have been under different circumstances etc, but I'm very happy with my relationship so I don't.

Okay. I don't even have to tell them. :p
Ok, you have me there.
However, like Gordon in 'Dodgeball' I was completely unaware as to the negative connotations of the 'L' sign made with your hand at your forehead. For years I thought it was a females way of saying hello to a man. I mean, all the women I met did it.

Its 1:38 in the morning, it's Valentine Day, and I got The Aviator Soundtrack playing. I'm just sitting here thinking about an old crush of mine. Her name was Diana, and she was dating a guy named Paul throughout High School. Back in High School I was going through alot of surgery, and everytime I would come back to school she would always say stuff like how she missed me, glad I was back etc. We had two history classes together and when we found out about that we were happy. During our senior year she did sit beside me after lunch in the hallways, we never talked but still...she was a pretty cool girl. I would like to think that if she was single I would've had a chance with her, but I doubt it. She was probably just being nice. I do not know how to read women! lol.

Anyways, how many of yall thought about your old crushes?

Are you a country music singer?

Her name is irrelevent, she was the most beautiful girl in school bar none. We only met because I was captain of the wrestling team and she kept score of all my matches. One day during practice my arm snapped in half and ended my two year winning streak. Frustrated I was forced to help with the score cards, a task for the wrestlers deemed useless. However, it gave me the chance to sit next to her and talk. Aside from trivial chit chat we didn't know each other that well. Over the next year we became pretty close. My freshman year she dated a real scumbag for over a year and told me how often she hated him, at one point he confronted me where I proceeded to neutralize the threat. She hated me for beating the piss out of him and I haven't talked to her since. Did I enjoy breaking that man like a toy? Yes. Did I smile at my bloody fist? Most Definately. Do I have any regrets? No.

I've stopped trying to help people.

Woot for the violent yet misunderstood good guys. =)

I'm 53, been married for 23 years. Have the best wife anyone can have. Yes I still think about all the women I dated and still pray that all is well with them. I never had a bad break-up. We always just grew apart or the timing just wasn't correct. We had things we needed to do before taking on marriage. I would love to have a crystal ball so I could see how they all are doing or if I could help them in any way. They are still good friends even if I haven't seen them in 25+ years.

I remember last year, when I was at the Tate Modern in London. I was observing a deep blue canvas (AKA, 'Modern Art'), when a girl about my age (I assume) appeared next to me. We both looked at the blue canvas for a few minutes until she turned to me, stared into my eyes, and said, "That's Hot." She turned and walked out of the room.

I've been in love ever since.

Ok, you have me there.
However, like Gordon in 'Dodgeball' I was completely unaware as to the negative connotations of the 'L' sign made with your hand at your forehead. For years I thought it was a females way of saying hello to a man. I mean, all the women I met did it.

Good lord, that has negative connotations? I've been mocked all this time?!? :eek:

:p

I haven't thought of a 'crush' in ages but i did think of one who was a friend today but not in a crush sort of way.

.... yeah? well me too :P
Its more special when your on the other side of the equater. ;P

Its more special when your on the other side of the equater. ;P
Especially when you are out of your mind.