NationStates Jolt Archive

Lookin' forward to The Rapture?

Expecting to be called to Heaven in your lifetime?

Well, as much as we all hope that it happens, the question remains: Who will take care of your puppy after you've been scooped up and delivered to the Pearly Gates?

Bet you didn't think about that right? I mean - who is gonna take Bowser for walkies once you've gone? Who's gonna change Fluffy's litter box?

Thankfully JesusPets (http://www.jesuspets.com/) has already thought of this. For a modest fee you can live for eternity relatively guilt-free knowing a JesusPets animal lover took care of your dog for the rest of his or her natural life.

And if you're an immoral, filthy heathen that loves animals, well then JEsusPets may have jobs for you. Sign up now - as long as you can meet the criteria regarding heathen-ness, and a promise not to either a) eat, or b) sexually abuse any pets in your charge....







You know - Its nice to occassionally find some people putting all of this Internet technology to good use... lol.

I see the insanity is spreading nicely.

Almost time for for Phase 2 of my plan. :)

You're just upset you didn't think of this easy moneymaking business yourself. :)

You're just upset you didn't think of this easy moneymaking business yourself. :)
That or saddened by the people that believe in it

my brother in law said that when he was on submarine duty, some of the born again christians posted an alternate emergency duty list just in case they got taken in the rapture. that way even though the righteous went to heaven, the left behinds could still man the sub properly.

the captain wouldnt make it official though, he said they could keep the list on their own just in case.

That or saddened by the people that believe in it
Well, if you actually believe in the Rapture, you have to know that there are only 144,000 that will be taken up.

Statistically, that's insignificant - hardly anyone will notice that any were taken up.

This also means that if you believe in the Rapture, you're not likely to be one of those taken up.

Frankly, I believe in God, but I don't believe He's such a hardass that only 144,000 will make the cut. I mean, Heaven isn't a sports arena with limited seating.

while 144000 is the number, and those who believe in the rapture are taking the bible very literally....


144000 is the biblical equivalent of "a kajillion". its the number so large its unimaginable. in ancient greek that number was 1000, in chinese it was 10,000.

so if you pick and choose your literal intepretations, you dont have to be stuck with the notion that out of the ...20,000,000,000 people who have lived on the earth (just a guess) only 144,000 make it to heaven.

while 144000 is the number, and those who believe in the rapture are taking the bible very literally....


144000 is the biblical equivalent of "a kajillion". its the number so large its unimaginable. in ancient greek that number was 1000, in chinese it was 10,000.

so if you pick and choose your literal intepretations, you dont have to be stuck with the notion that out of the ...20,000,000,000 people who have lived on the earth (just a guess) only 144,000 make it to heaven.

Hence, the problem with being too literal with Scripture.

Better to concentrate on the parts that are pretty useful and obvious, like being nice to people.

You're just upset you didn't think of this easy moneymaking business yourself. :)


You might have a point.... lol.