NationStates Jolt Archive

Think of some funny jokes. Here's some of mine:
religion:
"he changed his religion recently"
"He no longer believes that he's god?"

egoes:
look above

dumb:
She froze to death by a brothel waiting for the light to change.

fat:
she wasn't too big, but when she ran away as a kid, she had to take the truck route.

skinny:
the day she swallowed a penny, three guys left town.

animals:
My wife wanted a coat.
I got her a fox.
that wasn't it.
I got her a mink.
That wasn't it. I still have no idea of what she wants, but we do have these two crazy animals running around.

politics:
Where's the best place to find poliotical jokes? Washington DC.

other:
These days, gamers demand the best graphics, but I, unlike them, experience the best graphics around. It's called outside and I go there frequently.

I can't tell any of mine without being banned. Sorry.

I can't tell any of mine without being banned. Sorry.

oooooh

sounds like your hiding something

How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? See Below.
How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? See Above.

Big Boss Man

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.
:D

A grasshopper hops into a bar, hops up on a barstool, and says, "Hey bartender, get me a beer". The bartender brings him the beer, and says, "You know, we have a drink named after you". The grasshopper looks at him and says, "Really, you have a drink named Murray?"