NationStates Jolt Archive


The beast in the middle east (Is the Apocolypse near?)

Dubghaul
13-02-2006, 16:11
I have been scared for the world lately because i believe the end is near. "Bible codes" and passeges in he tora point to 2012 being the year. Babylon is supposed to burn before the apocolypse...we bombed it. Civilisation started in the middle east and now theres nuclear threats. Its not looking good folks. (Dont hate me if facts arent perfect im comming up with this from the top of my head) What do you think?
Europa Maxima
13-02-2006, 16:12
I agree, it is nearing. The fact that people can't spell "Apocalypse" anymore speaks greatly of how far in decline the world is.
Luporum
13-02-2006, 16:13
No sense in being scared of what's inevitable apparently. I'll just be sad because humanity had so much potential wasted. *sigh* oh well.
The Jovian Moons
13-02-2006, 16:15
That's what I've been trying to tell you people. REPENT!!
Mt-Tau
13-02-2006, 16:17
One has to love vague prophecys...
Luporum
13-02-2006, 16:17
REPENT!!

I blame religion and next time humanity is "made" maybe the creator will be smart enough to leave that part out.
Bodies Without Organs
13-02-2006, 16:19
Babylon is supposed to burn before the apocolypse...we bombed it.


Actually the worst damage caused to Babylon was not by bombing, but by Polish and American troops who were based there. Trenches have been dug through archeological deposits, petty vandalism has taken place, military vehicles have crushed ancient pavements, soil has been extracted pretty much at random for filling sandbags, foreign material (gravel and such like) has been brought in and scattered over the area, and such like.
Big Jim P
13-02-2006, 16:23
Since the biblical apocalypse only applies to christians muslims and jews I don't see the problem, or any reason for me to worry about it.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
13-02-2006, 16:23
No, you're getting it wrong. The Apocalypse was scheduled for 1975, but there was such a low turn-out that the Anti-Christ decided not to show up. Instead he tried to find a better agent to set him up for 2000, but her agent fucked up and waited so long that there was no way to rent the Convention center that the Anti-Christ wanted, and so she refused to do it at all.
The Anti-Christ is a very tempermental woman, and it is rumoured that she might be planning to cancel the "World of Hate and Pain" tour entirely if her next date (2666) falls through.
Dubghaul
13-02-2006, 16:25
Well if it does happen all the religions will be able to rub it in :p

I imagine theres not much we can do thats true but hey maybe its time to party
Peechland
13-02-2006, 16:25
No, you're getting it wrong. The Apocalypse was scheduled for 1975, but there was such a low turn-out that the Anti-Christ decided not to show up. Instead he tried to find a better agent to set him up for 2000, but her agent fucked up and waited so long that there was no way to rent the Convention center that the Anti-Christ wanted, and so she refused to do it at all.
The Anti-Christ is a very tempermental woman, and it is rumoured that she might be planning to cancel the "World of Hate and Pain" tour entirely if her next date (2666) falls through.


You know, I told you that was between us. Now I have to go and rearrange some things.....sigh.
Bodies Without Organs
13-02-2006, 16:28
The Anti-Christ is a very tempermental woman, and it is rumoured that she might be planning to cancel the "World of Hate and Pain" tour entirely if her next date (2666) falls through.

You know, I told you that was between us. Now I have to go and rearrange some things.....sigh.

Poor Peechland, do you not feel kind of lonely knowing that your next date will be in 660 years? Long time to wait for a snog.
The Jovian Moons
13-02-2006, 16:28
I blame religion and next time humanity is "made" maybe the creator will be smart enough to leave that part out.

I'm sorry but now we'll have to burn you as a heretict.
Demented Hamsters
13-02-2006, 16:28
Where's Marlon Brando and Martin Sheen when you need them?
Luporum
13-02-2006, 16:28
I'm sorry but now we'll have to burn you as a heretict.

Before or after the nuclear halocaust?
Omstia
13-02-2006, 16:29
I have been scared for the world lately because i believe the end is near. "Bible codes" and passeges in he tora point to 2012 being the year. Babylon is supposed to burn before the apocolypse...we bombed it. Civilisation started in the middle east and now theres nuclear threats. Its not looking good folks. (Dont hate me if facts arent perfect im comming up with this from the top of my head) What do you think?
em.... the Babylon thing was a metaphor. It referred the old tyrant (babylon) while meaning he new (Rome). Babylon doesnt have 7 hills you see, Rome is famous for them...
Dubghaul
13-02-2006, 16:29
I'm sorry but now we'll have to burn you as a heretict.


ZING!
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
13-02-2006, 16:30
Poor Peechland, do you not feel kind of lonely knowing that your next date will be in 660 years? Long time to wait for a snog.
Who needs dates when you have asian male prostitutes?
Dubghaul
13-02-2006, 16:31
em.... the Babylon thing was a metaphor. It referred the old tyrant (babylon) while meaning he new (Rome). Babylon doesnt have 7 hills you see, Rome is famous for them...

You can say the seven headed beast with 10 horns is a bunch of hills in Rome (or anywhere else) but what of the woman on his throne or the 10 horns?

Personally i think Hillary Clinton is the antichrist (ZOMG! SCANDEL!)
Peechland
13-02-2006, 16:31
Poor Peechland, do you not feel kind of lonely knowing that your next date will be in 660 years? Long time to wait for a snog.

Well I tell you this....it had better be an absolutely earth shattering snog!

I could just inhabit someone's body and then.........


I've said too much. :-x
Bodies Without Organs
13-02-2006, 16:33
Well I tell you this....it had better be an absolutely earth shattering snog!

I could just inhibit someone's body and then.........


I've said too much. :-x

'Inhibit'? Obviously I've missed the positive side of inhibition.
Mighty Lord Skeletor
13-02-2006, 16:34
I shot a nut out of a squirrels mouth once with a sling shot as it was walking across a fence.
I know it has nothing to do with the question, but i'm proud.
Surprised I didn't take the little fuckers head off.
Peechland
13-02-2006, 16:34
'Inhibit'? Obviously I've missed the positive side of inhibition.

yes I was thinking about that snog and lost my ability to use vocabulary that makes sense...
Dubghaul
13-02-2006, 16:35
I shot a nut out of a squirrels mouth once with a sling shot as it was walking across a fence.
I know it has nothing to do with the question, but i'm proud.
Surprised I didn't take the little fuckers head off.


Thats cold. Probably someone in your family reincarnate.. YOU STARVED GREAT GREAT UNLCE PHIL!!
GOLDDIRK
13-02-2006, 16:36
Hope it (the Apcoalypse) turns out more like The Omega Man, One against the sudo intellectual know it alls of NS(the Family). Now that will be fun.


NeVIIIILEEEEE!


Rich
Eutrusca
13-02-2006, 16:39
I have been scared for the world lately because i believe the end is near. "Bible codes" and passeges in he tora point to 2012 being the year.
Not to mention the I Ching and the Mayan Calendar, both of which point at 2012.
Bodies Without Organs
13-02-2006, 16:43
Not to mention the I Ching and the Mayan Calendar, both of which point at 2012.

The conenction between the I Ching and 2012 is spurious to say the least.
Eutrusca
13-02-2006, 16:45
The conenction between the I Ching and 2012 is spurious to say the least.
What's "least" than "spurious?" Heh! :p
Bodies Without Organs
13-02-2006, 16:47
What's "least" than "spurious?" Heh! :p


In my usage 'spurious' ranks below 'highly questionable' and slightly above 'utter codswallop'. 'Laughable' is a floating modifier which can be applied in appropriate contexts.
Jacques Derrida
13-02-2006, 17:19
Ha. the bable codes got something wrong recently (an assasination or something). I wouldn't put any stock in them.
Evenrue
13-02-2006, 17:55
I have been scared for the world lately because i believe the end is near. "Bible codes" and passeges in he tora point to 2012 being the year. Babylon is supposed to burn before the apocolypse...we bombed it. Civilisation started in the middle east and now theres nuclear threats. Its not looking good folks. (Dont hate me if facts arent perfect im comming up with this from the top of my head) What do you think?
Why are you worried about it though? I know where I'm going and I don't really have a problem with it.

I'll be a bit disapointed for all the things I didn't get to do but hey...I'm going to Heaven.
There's nothing we can do to stop it. So why worry, enjoy what time we have left. You don't need terminal cancer to realise that.
(No offense to those that do have terminal cnacer.)
:D
Baratstan
13-02-2006, 18:18
Isn't the Mayan prediction that the world will be destroyed by earthquakes?
*Books a hot air balloon/aeroplane/helicopter rental in advance*
Gift-of-god
13-02-2006, 18:22
I accidentally read the titleof this thread as "The breast in the Middle East"

Mental image: Janet Jackson having a chador malfunction.:eek:
Randomlittleisland
13-02-2006, 19:02
*ahem*

Please read this (http://www.abhota.info/end1.htm) brief history of apocalypse predictions.

Sometime in 2000 ("either a few days or a few months away," according to this Sep. 12, 2000 CNN article) the End of Days will take place, say members of a Mormon-based cult near the Utah-Arizona border. Hundreds of memmbers of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have pulled their kids out of school' in preparation for the Big Day.

Jan 1, 2000 January 1, 2000. Jesus did not descend from the heavens. President Clinton did not declare himself dictator-for-life. The Antichrist did not rise to power. Nuclear missiles were not launched. Aircraft did not fall out of the sky. The global economy did not collapse. Terrorist bombs did not explode. The power did not go out. My computer still works.

What we did have were some huge parties, spectacular fireworks displays, a Barry Manilow concert, head-splitting hangovers, lots of confetti to clean up, and some embarrassed survivalists who had spent their New Years holed up in armed fortresses when they could have been partying in Times Square.


Y2K!! Compounding people's apocalyptic hopes and fears for 2000 was a technological problem that came to be known as Y2K. This problem was hyped by the media, preachers, doomsayers and the authors of a myriad Y2K preparedness books as something that promised to bring the world to a catastrophic standstill. But thanks to the diligent efforts of programmers, governments and companies throughout the world, the bite of the "Y2K bug" turned out to be mostly harmless. There were a few minor glitches here and there, but nothing serious. The fundamentalists who claimed that Y2K is all part of God's plan or that the Antichrist would use Y2K to seize power have been proven wrong! In the aftermath of this ultimate disconfirmation many of them have tried to salvage their dignity by saying "Just you wait! It's only the beginning of the end!" To the Y2K doomsayers I smugly say, "I told you so!" Here's an interesting article about the combination of Y2K with mystical expectations.

In the honored tradition of the "comet pills" of 1910, many hucksters took advantage of people's Y2K fears to reap a tidy doomsday profit by selling survival gear. Now all those who "stocked up for Y2K" will have to figure out what to do with all those packets of freeze-dried food, bottles of water, gasoline generators, wood-burning stoves and shotgun shells.

For an example of the extent that Y2K doomsday paranoia can grip someone, take a gander at Gary North's page. In your face, Gary!!!


The Christian apocalyptic cult House of Prayer, headed by one Brother David, expected Christ to descend onto the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem on this day. The Israeli government recently kicked them out of the country in a preemptive strike against potentially violent doomsday nutcases who may attempt to catalyze the Apocalypse through terrorist acts such as blowing up the Dome of the Rock.

John WorldPeace sent this post to Usenet, claiming that the failure of Jesus to return on January 1 will lead to the people of the world finally abandoning war and hatred as foolish pursuits and instead embracing peace, love and tolerance. Wouldn't it be great if he were right?
Bobby Bible, a 60-year-old fundamentalist, believed that Jesus would descend from Heaven at the stroke of midnight in Jerusalem and rapture his church.
A Philippine cult called Tunnels of Salvation taught that the world would end on January 1. The cult's guru, Cerferino Quinte, claimed that the world would be destroyed in an "all consuming rain of fire" on January 1. (I guess his prediction came partially true: there were plenty of fireworks going off around the world that night.) In order to survive the world's destruction, the cult members built an elaborate series of tunnels where he had stockpiled a year's worth of supplies for 700 people. CESNUR)
UK native Ann Willem spent the New Year in Israel, expecting to be raptured by Jesus on New Year's Day. "It didn't happen the way it was supposed to," she said of the failure of the Rapture to take place. (USA Today p.5A, 1/3/00)
Jerry Falwell foresaw God pouring out his judgement on the world on New Year's Day. According to Falwell, God "may be preparing to confound our language, to jam our communications, scatter our efforts, and judge us for our sin and rebellion against his lordship. We are hearing from many sources that January 1, 2000, will be a fateful day in the history of the world." Happy New Year! (Christianity Today, Jan. 11, 1999)
Timothy LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, authors of the bestselling Left Behind series of apocalyptic fiction, expected the Y2K bug to trigger global economic chaos, which the Antichrist would use to rise to power. As the big day approached, they, like other doomsayers, backpedalled. (Source: Washington Post)

Jan 16, 2000 Religious scholar Dr. Marion Derlette (.pdf link) claims the world is to end on January 16, according to an article in Weekly World News. This event is to occur after a series of natural and manmade catastrophes starting in 1997, and will be followed by an era of paradise on Earth. (This date is shown as January 6, 2000 in Richard Abanes' book End-Time Visions.) (Abanes p.43)
Feb 11, 2000 On his broadcast on the morning of Feburary 7, 2000, televangelist Kenneth Copeland claimed that a group of scientists and scholars (he gave no specifics) studied the Bible in great detail and determined that Feb 11 would be the last day of the 6000th year since Creation, a date when the Apocalypse would presumably happen. Copeland did not imply he believed this to be accurate, though, but he went on to say that the Rapture will come soon.
Feb 29, 2000 This day was the Gary North types' last best hope for the collapse of civilization due to the millennium bug. February 29 happens to be the exception to the exception to the 4-year leap year rule, which some programmers may have neglected to incorporate into their date algorithms, and some believe computers may crash on this day. I wasn't worried...computers crash every day.
Mar 2000 The Rapture is to take place in March 2000, 3 1/2 years after Christ's Second Coming, according to Marvin Byers. (Oropeza p.29)
Apr 4, 2000 The Rapture will occur by this date, said Ola Ilori, whose homepage went bye-bye soon after the date passed by. She went on to say that, immediately following the Rapture, would be an "earth shift" which would crack the earth's crust "like an egg shell."
Apr 5, 2000 Doomsday, according to Michael Rood, who claimed that this day would start out with "bloodshed, plagues, and all manner of pestilence." Michael had said the same about Septermber 11, 1999. That's two failed doomsdays for Michael. Any bets he'll come up with a third?
Apr 6, 2000 The Second Coming of Christ according to James Harmston of the Mormon sect True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of The Last Days . (McIver #2496)
Apr 2000 The Whites, a family of ascetic doomsday cultists living near Jerusalem, expected the End to take place in March or April after the Ark of the Covenant was to reappear in a cave in the Old City in Jerusalem. They claimed that there was a mistake in the chronology of the Hebrew calendar and that the year 6001 will begin this Spring. In reality, Sep. 11, 1999 to Sep. 30, 2000 is the Hebrew year 5760. (Source: here)
May 5, 2000 According to archaeologist Richard W. Noone (beware: this site has pop-up ads) in his book 5/5/2000 * Ice: The Ultimate Disaster, a buildup of excess ice in Antarctica (strange -- I thought global warming making it melt...) is causing the earth to become precariously unbalanced, which is a ridiculous idea to anyone with the slightest understanding of earth science. All that's needed to upset this supposed imbalance and cause the obligatory pole shift -- which would cause billions of tons of ice to go cascading across the continents -- is the planetary alignment that took place on this date! For the lowdown on planetary alignments, please visit this site. Not that it matters. The big day has come and gone.
The Nuwaubians (also known as the Holy Tabernacle Ministries or Ancient Mystical Order of Melchizedek) claimed that the planetary lineup would cause a "star holocaust," pulling the planets toward the sun. (Alnor p.121)

May 9, 2000 Toshio Hiji, having analyzed the quatrains of Nostradamus, announced that the Giant Deluge of Noah would inundate the Earth on May 9, 2000, and "all humans will be perished." Prior to this, a third of the world's population was to be destroyed during an alien attack on October 3, 1999. Whoops!
May 17, 2000 "Dr." Rebecca S. Harrison claimed that Jesus would reappear on "EArth" (her capitalization) on May 17, to be followed by Mighty Battle in June 2003.
Lakhota prophetess White Buffalo Calf Woman predicted that Jesus would return in a UFO on this day.

Jun 2000 A Ugandan cult calling itself the World Message Last Warning Church claims the End will come in June. Previously they had claimed the world would end in 1999. (Source: ABC News)
Jun 1, 2000 Jim Bramlett shows on his website how he came to this date as a possible day for the Rapture.
Jun 10, 2000 Marilyn Agee's Rapture prediction #9.
Jul 5, 2000 XXX-day, brought to you by our all-time favorite spiritual organization, the Church of the SubGenius. "THIS time there WILL be saucers"!
Aug 20, 2000 Ephraim claimed the 7-month Battle of Armageddon would begin on this day. His prediction for the Rapture (March 20-22, 2000) also failed.
Marilyn Agee's Rapture prediction #10. After yet another spectacular failure, she's reinterpreting scriptures and grasping at new straws. There's no stopping a truly determined doomsayer!

Sep 2000 Jerry Grenough foresaw the end of the present age, and perhaps the Rapture, in September of 2000, using various passages from the Bible to divine this date. His prediction, of course, has been removed from his website, but it remains listed at the Doomsday List
Sep 17, 2000 Many pyramidologists, basing their calculations on measurements of the Great Pyramid of Giza, claim that the Second Coming will occur on this date. (Abanes p.71)
Moira Timms, author of Beyond Prophecies and Predictions, claims that the Great Pyramid's supposed 6000-year "prophetic timeline," and thus the world, will end on this day. In case this fails, she posits the Mayan calendar date of December 23, 2012, as a backup doomsday. (Skeptical Inquirer, Sep/Oct 2000, p. 23)

Sep 19, 2000 Somewhere between September 16 and 19, Phil Stone expects something he had dubbed the "Coastlands Disaster" to occur. He has, surprise surprise, derived his chronology from, you guessed it, the Bible.
Sep 21, 2000 On his web page, which is now apparently defunct, Dan Millar boldly proclaimed that this date "is the true date for the Second Coming of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ." This website documents Dannyboy's prediction.
Sep 29, 2000 According to the Jewish-based cultLove the Jew, whose website has disappeared without a trace, claimed the world would end on Rosh Hashanah, 2000. According to the cult, "America will be destroyed in one hour after the Rapture by an all out nuclear attack by Russia. Russia may also decide to destroy other countries as well at this time (South America, Mexico, Canada, notably the entire Western hemisphere will be a wasteland)." A reference to the cult is available at The Doomsday List.
Oct 2000 Elizabeth Joyce predicted nuclear war in October 2000 as a result of conflict in the Middle East. She has a litany of other failed prophecies, including one of the sun splitting in two. (Source: Doomsday has been cancelled!)
Oct 9, 2000 Christian prophet Grant R. Jeffrey suggested this date as the "probable termination point for the 'last days.'" (Abanes p.341, McIver #2608)
Oct 14, 2000 According to the House of Yahweh, the seven-year Tribulation began on September 13, 1993, when Yitzhak Rabin shook hands with Yasser Arafat at the White House. This means the end of the world is due on October 14, 2000. (Source: religioustolerance.org
Nov 17, 2000 The famous handshake between Arafat and Rabin on Sep 13, 1993 started the seven-year peace process, claims David Zavitz, and Armageddon will take place seven years later. David shows on this page why he thinks the Last Day will be on November 17, 2000.
Dec 31, 2000 Joseph Kibweteere's doomsday prediction #2. On March 17, 2000, over 600 members of a Ugandan cult calling itself the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God sealed themselves into a church and were burned to death. It remains to be seen wither it was a mass suicide, or a murder by their leader. Cult leader Joseph Kibweteere, who had previously claimed that the world would end on December 31, 1999, re-set his doomsday prediction to December 31, 2000 when his first prediction failed. Even after Y2K, millennial madness is alive and well. (Source: CESNUR)
Jan 20, 2001 According to a guy calling himself "BANDS" (whose wacky website is unfortunately defunct now), the Bible says that the US would be totally destroyed before the end of Clinton's term (January 20, 2001). He used numerous Bible verses to "prove" his thesis. However, now that George W. Bush was selected "president", it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he inflicts a lot of damage on the poor ol' USA!
Mar 2001 Dale Sumberèru claimed in his book The Greatest Deception: An Impending Alien Invasion claimed that March 22, 1997 was the beginning of the Tribulation, and the Second Coming will take place between July 2000 and March 2001. (McIver #3239)
Apr 16, 2001 Bill Singleton claimed that the Rapture would take place during Easter weekend, 2001.
May 5, 2001 Gabriel of Sedona, guru of the New Age doomsday cult Aquarian Concepts Community, located in Sedona, Arizona, foresees the destruction of humanity between May 5, 2000 and May 5, 2001. Only people faithful to the cult will be saved from this destruction by UFOs. (Source: this website and this website).
May 28, 2001 The indefatigable Marilyn Agee, whose Rapture predictions have failed time and time again, pinpointed the exact date of the beginning of the Tribulation. She insisted that the Rapture will happen some time before May 28, 2001.
Jul 2001 Jamaican cult leader Brother Solomon and his Seventh-Day Adventist followers have staked out some space on the Mount of Olives in anticipation of witnessing the Second Coming, which he is convinced will occur sometime between mid-April 2000 and July 2001.
Sep 11, 2001 One of the most tragic and significant days in US history. The World Trade Center was destroyed and the Pentagon attacked by madmen, causing thousands of deaths, billions of dollars in damage, untold suffering, and possibly plunging the world into war. If there's any day that the doomsayers should have foreseen, it's this day. However, NOBODY was able to predict this event or pinpoint this day.

Some gullible people insist that Nostradamus predicted the event, but these claims have been debunked.
Sep 18, 2001 Yet another Rosh Hashanah Rapture, this time predicted by grand champion doomsday date setter Charles Taylor. (Oropeza p.57)
Nov 3, 2001 Perennial doomstress Marilyn Agee has pointed to this as a day that may be the Pre-Trib Rapture, near the bottom of this page.
Dec 8, 2001 The author of the Ninth Wave site is convinced that the Church would be raptured on this dat, and millions would disappear mysteriously. People would explain away the disappearance as alien abductions.
Dec 19, 2001 Marilyn Agee comes up with yet another end-time date on this page (scroll down until you see the numerical calculations). The Tribulation is supposed to start on this day.
2001 Pyramidologist Georges Barbarin, subscribing to the concept of the Great Week, predicted that Christ's Millennium would begin in 2001. (Mann p.118)
According to the Unarius Academy of Science, "space brothers" were to land their UFOs near El Cajon, California, ushering in a new age. In January, 2002 I emailed them to inquire about the landing. Their explanation: "The Space Brothers have not landed because we, the people of Earth, are not ready to accept advanced peoples from another planet." (Heard p.26-27)
Earth changes maven Gordon-Michael Scallion predicted major earth changes taking place between 1998 and 2001, culminating in a pole shift. (Heard p.26-27)
Nation of Islam numerologist Tynetta Muhammad figured that 2001 would be the year of the End. (Weber p.213)
On this page, a man calling himself The Last Adam says, "The hour is coming this year, 2001. This earth will be destroyed these year, by God. This is an election between the good and evil."

Apr 14, 2002 This is another of those sites that has to be seen to be believed. Mike Keller claims that the "doomsgate" will open a half second before midnight (Israel time) on this day, followed immediately by the return of Jesus, as well as a nuclear war within 45 days. I wouldn't worry, though...Mike also predicted that Americans would begin living under martial law in mid-1999, due to Y2K-engendered chaos.
May 19, 2002 A man named Barry Muraff emailed me on May 2 and told me that "...the probability is extremely high that Christ is returning on Pentecost...on May 19th, 2002. No, I am not joking...." Well, if Jesus returned, it certainly didn't make the headlines.
2002 The end of the world, according to Church Universal and Triumphant leader Elizabeth Clare Prophet, following a 12-year period of devastation and nuclear war. (Kyle p.156)
Charles R. Weagle's now-defunct website warning2002ad.com predicted a "nuclear judgement" on the world's industrialized nations in 2002. A reference to his prophecy can be found here.
I got this one in an anonymous email sent to me, so I have no corroborating evidence to back it up. Anyway, the email claims that there is a documentary entitled Welcome to Armageddon that features an interview with Jacob Hawkins of the cult House of Yahweh (all members of their cult are required to change their surnames to Hawkins!). During the interview, Jacob claims that the world will end in a nuclear war in the middle of 2002. He supports his claim using the following logic: "It will happen...there is no possible way it can't happen!"

Jul 19, 2002 Marilyn Agee has not yet tired of setting dates for the Rapture. Now the Rapture is scheduled to take place on July 19. Yawn....
Apr 22, 2003 Theprophet foresees the Rapture occurring between October 10, 1999 and April 22, 2003, more likely closer to the later date than the earlier date.
May 5, 2003 A UFO will pick up true believers on this date, according to the Nuwaubians, a Georgia cult headed by Dr. Malachi Z. York, who claims to be the incarnation of God and a native of the planet Rizq. (Time Magazine, July 12, 1999)
May 13, 2003 Nancy Lieder of ZetaTalk believes that the "end time" will take place on this day with the approach of a giant planet known as the "12th Planet". This planet supposedly orbits the sun once every 3600 years. The planet will cause...you guessed it! A pole shift!! Ms. Lieder gives some information about this on her Troubled Times site.
May 15, 2003 A Japanese cult called Pana Wave, whose members dress in white, claimed that a mysterious 10th Planet would pass by Earth, causing its axis to tip and engendering devastating earthquakes. (Source: WWRN)
Nov 29, 2003 The human race all but wiped out by nuclear war between Oct 30 and Nov 29, 2003, according to Aum Shinrikyo. (Alnor p.98)
2003 The end of the Kali Yuga and the arrival of Krishna as the Kalki Avatar according to Sree Veera Brahmendra Swami. (Both my sources have disappeared from the Net - you'll just have to take my word for it.)
A number of Internet prophets are predicting that a giant planet called Planet X or the "Twelfth Planet" will pass by Earth in 2003 and cause anything from pole shifts to altered orbits or what have you. In any event, the results are supposed to be catastrophic and apocalyptic, yadda yadda yadda....

2004 Major world events beginning in August 1999 will lead to full-scale war in the year 2000, followed by a rebirth from the ashes in 2004, according to Taoist prophet Ping Wu.
Apr 24, 2005 Ted Porter claims that the Second Advent will take place April 23 or 24, 2005. He also said that the Rapture would occur at 6:13 pm (Jerusalem time) on April 23, 2002! Most prophets set their predictions a long time in the future in an attempt to cover their asses, but this guy made this prediction barely 2 weeks before the Rapture was supposed to happen!
Oct 4, 2005 The end of the world, according to John Zachary in his 1994 book Mysterious Numbers of the Sealed Revelation. The Tribulation was to begin on August 28, 1998. (McIver #3477)
Stone Bridges
13-02-2006, 19:19
*sigh* I am getting tired of bringing up these passage.

Matthew 24:

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,[f] but only the Father. 37As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

42"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. 43But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. 44So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.
People without names
13-02-2006, 19:44
I have been scared for the world lately because i believe the end is near. "Bible codes" and passeges in he tora point to 2012 being the year. Babylon is supposed to burn before the apocolypse...we bombed it. Civilisation started in the middle east and now theres nuclear threats. Its not looking good folks. (Dont hate me if facts arent perfect im comming up with this from the top of my head) What do you think?

i beleive it was the aztecs also pointed to 2012 or a year or two off as being the end,

a catholic prophecy or something cant remember says there is to be only one more pope after this one

i cant wait to pull my sandwich board sing out of the closet and walk the streets

i will also be disguised as a homeless man with a bottle of booze in my left hand
Quaiffberg
13-02-2006, 19:57
Here is two pages that will simplify it for you:

http://www.satansrapture.com/nostra2012.htm

and

http://www.satansrapture.com/foundnostclock.htm
Hard work and freedom
13-02-2006, 20:01
I agree, it is nearing. The fact that people can't spell "Apocalypse" anymore speaks greatly of how far in decline the world is.


Hear hear, the above standing and the fact that some humans use the worst of all: sarcasm

Cheap, end off all, flags for sale
Yathura
13-02-2006, 20:19
It's as close as the closest large asteroid heading for Earth or the closest comet being dragged down by our atmosphere. In short, we'll be killed off as soon as God gets good enough at billiards (he's a slow learner, it seems).
Keruvalia
13-02-2006, 20:38
"Bible codes"


Yes ... ambiguity can be frightening. Try some warm milk and a bubble bath.
Dubghaul
14-02-2006, 16:09
Yes ... ambiguity can be frightening. Try some warm milk and a bubble bath.


Sounds like a weekend at the whore house.
CanuckHeaven
14-02-2006, 17:29
I think we should round up the extremists on both sides, put them together in one huge specially made arena, give them all the non-nuclear armaments they want and let them go at each other.

End of story, and the world is saved. :D
Drunk commies deleted
14-02-2006, 17:54
I have been scared for the world lately because i believe the end is near. "Bible codes" and passeges in he tora point to 2012 being the year. Babylon is supposed to burn before the apocolypse...we bombed it. Civilisation started in the middle east and now theres nuclear threats. Its not looking good folks. (Dont hate me if facts arent perfect im comming up with this from the top of my head) What do you think?
Bible codes are bullshit. They've been debunked long ago.
Nuckpangea
14-02-2006, 18:31
i beleive it was the aztecs also pointed to 2012 or a year or two off as being the end,


I think it was the Inca, though I'm not 100% sure. They had a super-cool understanding of the stars, so I'd put way more faith in that than the Bible codes. Apparently they predicted one of our recent eclipses. But there's a slight difference between an eclipse, and the end of days.

But to all the Americans here, don't worry. If the world comes to an end on, random date, at the stroke of midnight 26th March 2012, you'll have LOADS of warning. Nearly a whole day, what with the whole timezones thing. Australians? You're screwed. Sorry :(