NationStates Jolt Archive


Anyone want to be a god?

Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 04:49
the smithsonian article can be found here (http://www.smithsonianmagazine.com/issues/2006/february/john.php)


http://www.news.vu/en/news/InternationalMediaCoverage/060206-Vanuatu-islanders-await-their-messiah-to-return-with-the-navy.shtml

Vanuatu islanders await their messiah to return with the navy

By Peter Carlson - Washington Post
Posted Sunday, February 5, 2006

On the South Pacific island of Tanna, beneath a volcano that rumbles and smokes, a guy wearing a fake U.S. Navy uniform raises an American flag. Then 40 barefoot men march past, carrying fake rifles made of bamboo, their brown chests decorated with red paint spelling out “USA.”

Later, a group of men slinging fake chain saws sing a homemade hymn: “We’ve come from America to cut down all the trees so we can build factories.”

This isn’t a protest or a piece of performance art. It’s a religious ceremony held every year on Feb. 15 – John Frum Day, the high holy day of a South Pacific religion that worships a messiah who is, as Paul Raffaele writes in a wonderfully weird story in the February issue of Smithsonian, “an American god no sober man has ever seen.”

Raffaele traveled to the nation of Vanuatu – formerly known as New Hebrides – to check out the John Frum religion, one of the last of the famous “cargo cults” that sprang up in the South Pacific in World War II.

For centuries, the natives on these isolated islands were farmers and fishermen who created a culture based on polygamy, ritual dancing and the drinking of kava, a powerfully intoxicating beverage made from the roots of a plant. About 1900, Raffaele writes, Christian missionaries, mostly Scottish Presbyterians, banned polygamy, dancing and kava drinking, making life a lot less fun.

One night in the late 1930s, a group of dissatisfied native men gathered in secret and drank large quantities of kava, hoping to receive a message from the spirit world. They did: An ethereal white-clad white man named John Frum appeared to them, urging they throw away their money, stop attending Christian churches and return to their ancient ways.

Inspired by this vision, the men threw their money into the sea and held huge feasts to honor John Frum and recruit converts. The colonial authorities were alarmed and sent the cult’s leaders to prison in 1941, but still the Frum religion spread.

Lo and behold, a year later, legions of men dressed in white appeared in the islands. They belonged to the U.S. Navy. They came aboard giant ships and brought wonderful things, including chocolate, cigarettes and Coca-Cola. Many islanders concluded that their prayers to John Frum had been answered.

A few years later, World War II ended and the Americans went home. Since then, John Frum devotees have been drinking kava and praying for Frum to come back and bring more of his wonderful American cargo.

Raffaele arrived in Tanna last February and within hours he was out in the jungle, drinking kava with some Frum worshippers. The stuff tasted “like muddy water,” he writes, but it got him very stoned. After his third coconut shell full of kava, his guide carted him back to Raffaele’s hut.

The next day, Raffaele met a holy man named Chief Isaac, who took him to Yasur, the volcano in which John Frum is said to live when he’s not back home in America. Chief Isaac invited Raffaele into the cult’s headquarters and showed him the church relics – an American flag, a carved American eagle and some imitation U.S. Navy uniforms.

Raffaele asked the chief what kind of cargo he hopes John Frum will bring to Tanna if he returns.

“A 25-horsepower outboard motor for the village boat,” the chief replied. “Then we can catch much fish. …”

Raffaele said to the chief: “John promised you much cargo more than 60 years ago and none has come. Why do you still believe in him?”

Chief Isaac smiled and uttered an irrefutable answer: “You Christians have been waiting 2,000 years for Jesus to return to Earth,” he said, “and you haven’t given up hope.”
Sumamba Buwhan
12-02-2006, 04:52
let me be the first to say...

What the Fuck!!?!?!?11
Ritlina
12-02-2006, 04:53
I'm Going To Change My Name To John Frum And Go To That Island!
Straughn
12-02-2006, 04:54
No f'in way! Almost EVERYONE who worships you will be a f*cking idiot or sycophant!
If that ain't bad enough, the press is gonna SUCK, *AND* no matter what someone is going to take your very existence personally and get all bent out of shape about it!

Good post though.
Peechland
12-02-2006, 04:56
Just when you thought youve heard it all.....

John Frum Day....why isnt this on my calendar?:confused:
Iztatepopotla
12-02-2006, 04:58
I'm Going To Change My Name To John Frum And Go To That Island!
I wouldn't do that. You'd have to live in a volcano.

On the other hand, this is a religion I can identify myself with! Ritual dancing, poligamy, and kava drinking! Plus some guy brings stuff from time to time! What's not to like?

I shall become a John Frummist and spread his message.

I'll still do the Reformed Huitzilopochtlist thing on Tuesdays, though. That's bingo night.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
12-02-2006, 05:01
No f'in way! Almost EVERYONE who worships you will be a f*cking idiot or sycophant!
I'm going to start worshipping the guy. Fucking Genius, made himself god, started a new mythology, and gets to take credit for the actions of the US Navy?
Dinaverg
12-02-2006, 05:02
Chief Isaac smiled and uttered an irrefutable answer: “You Christians have been waiting 2,000 years for Jesus to return to Earth,” he said, “and you haven’t given up hope.”

*roffles teh waffles* Ha!
Qwystyria
12-02-2006, 05:02
I'm Going To Change My Name To John Frum And Go To That Island!

Just be sure to take an outboard motor with you when you go.
Dinaverg
12-02-2006, 05:04
Just when you thought youve heard it all.....

John Frum Day....why isnt this on my calendar?:confused:

the big heart on the 14th covers it up....
Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 05:04
all we need is a couple thousand dollars worth of cargo and a boat trip, and we'll have festivals held in our honor for the next hundred years or more.

i can get down with that
Peechland
12-02-2006, 05:06
the big heart on the 14th covers it up....


ah....makes perfect sense.

You know, I am surprised Hallmark hasnt capitalized on this lil' holiday.
Jeruselem
12-02-2006, 05:07
I'm sure the Bush administration can arrange something, those people being loyal USA subjects.
Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 05:19
On the other hand, this is a religion I can identify myself with! Ritual dancing, poligamy, and kava drinking! Plus some guy brings stuff from time to time! What's not to like?

it's like mormon christmas - but with drinking and dancing
Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 08:02
bump for cargo
Undelia
12-02-2006, 08:11
This may be the funniest thing I've heard of in a while.
Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 16:54
if i bump this again maybe john frum will come back with more cargo
Mooseica
12-02-2006, 17:05
Hmm... don't fancy the idea of being a god - far too much responsibility, and besides, the one I've got at the moment seems to be doing a sterling job, I see no reason to replace Him.
Ifreann
12-02-2006, 17:06
*invests in a outboard motor*
Just call me John Frum Jr.
Hata-alla
12-02-2006, 17:16
The worst thing about this is that it makes just as much sense as any other religion.
Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 17:17
The worst thing about this is that it makes just as much sense as any other religion.

more sense, actually. cargo did arrive shortly after john frum appeared.
The Nuke Testgrounds
12-02-2006, 17:18
I already am a god.

Really.


.....




That I have no worshippers doesn't mean I am not a god. Where did you get that ridiculous idea?

....


*cries*:(
Mythotic Kelkia
12-02-2006, 17:18
I think this is the same place (different island tho) that worships Prince Philip as a God.
Ifreann
12-02-2006, 17:23
Prince Phillip?!
Thats it, I'm gettin some playstations and some games and a tv or 2 and I'm goin to Micronesia.

How does Stephenism sound for a religion?
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 17:24
I'm going to start worshipping the guy. Fucking Genius, made himself god, started a new mythology, and gets to take credit for the actions of the US Navy?

That's what I call 'making the most of a golden opportunity.' ;)

What I like best about the story is what John Frum told them. Throw away your money, don't go to church and get stinking drunk. He was definitely a Navy sailor. :D
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 17:26
Hmm... don't fancy the idea of being a god - far too much responsibility, and besides, the one I've got at the moment seems to be doing a sterling job, I see no reason to replace Him.

Actually, it sounds like a great way to spend some time. ...Until they throw you into the volcano to appease it. I've seen That movie. :p
Mariehamn
12-02-2006, 17:27
I'm going to start worshipping the guy. Fucking Genius, made himself god, started a new mythology, and gets to take credit for the actions of the US Navy?
Nah, he's not the God. He's just a very powerful and convincing pretender god wholly unknown to the God because He is currently playing with His other creations.
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 17:33
Nah, he's not the God. He's just a very powerful and convincing pretender god wholly unknown to the God because He is currently playing with His other creations.

Yeah. Legos. They're very addicting. :)
Vetalia
12-02-2006, 17:37
So, who wants to pool their money for a trip to Vanatu?

I bet there would be less religious conflict in the world if everyone embraced the values of John Frum...
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 17:39
So, who wants to pool their money for a trip to Vanatu?

I bet there would be less religious conflict in the world if everyone embraced the values of John Frum...

I still have my Navy Dress White uniform. :)

I'll call myself, Fefifo Frum. Son of God. :D

You can all be my faithful servants. :)
Egg and chips
12-02-2006, 17:40
Hmm... I'm gonna have to start working on my American Accent...

Heh. If Hugh Laurie can do the voice so can I...
Ifreann
12-02-2006, 17:42
I still have my Navy Dress White uniform. :)

I'll call myself, Fefifo Frum. Son of God. :D

You can all be my faithful servants. :)

Can I be your High Priest?!
I'll find the best virgins to send into your Hidden Temple to be 'blessed'
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 17:44
Can I be your High Priest?!
I'll find the best virgins to send into your Hidden Temple to be 'blessed'

Will they still be virgins?
Mariehamn
12-02-2006, 17:48
Will they still be virgins?
I keep the ones that are wooed by my big trident.

You can have the rest. They're clean. :)
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 17:51
I keep the ones that are wooed by my big trident.

You can have the rest. They're clean. :)

Not too many virgins. Mix in some other women too. I mean, five or six virgins are great. But after a while, I kind of want someone with experience. :)
Free Soviets
12-02-2006, 17:53
I bet there would be less religious conflict in the world if everyone embraced the values of John Frum...

i smell a jihad

a "throw your money away, stop going to church, and get drunk" jihad

i'm in
Mariehamn
12-02-2006, 17:54
Not too many virgins. Mix in some other women too. I mean, five or six virgins are great. But after a while, I kind of want someone with experience. :)
Well, then we'll have women rotations. That way, they'll level up faster and then they can invest their ability points into more advanced pleasure forms. We could have them specialize even! Oh my gawd, oh my gawd, oh my gawd! Just think of how fast we'd level! We'd be max level in no time flat! Haxzores! :D

One more tick on the "Things to do before I Die List": Make a reference to video games while talking about women on an internet forum.
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 18:01
One more tick on the "Things to do before I Die List": Make a reference to video games while talking about women on an internet forum.

Congrats. I'm still working on my list too, but I have no idea where to find a vat of pudding large enough. :(
San haiti
12-02-2006, 18:09
Sounds like the islanders had the right idea before, kava and polygamy. Pity their way of life wasnt completey preserved so we could all have a try.;)
Mariehamn
12-02-2006, 18:09
Congrats. I'm still working on my list too, but I have no idea where to find a vat of pudding large enough. :(
Make a fundraiser out of it. Put on it on national TV. Get the Guiness people there. It'll pay for itself! Get one of your children to do it for an Eagle Scout project even, and kill two birds with one stone!
Funky Evil
12-02-2006, 18:15
want to be a god?
Lunatic Goofballs
12-02-2006, 18:22
Make a fundraiser out of it. Put on it on national TV. Get the Guiness people there. It'll pay for itself! Get one of your children to do it for an Eagle Scout project even, and kill two birds with one stone!

Nice tips. :)
Tactical Grace
12-02-2006, 18:52
“You Christians have been waiting 2,000 years for Jesus to return to Earth,” he said, “and you haven’t given up hope.”
OWWWNED!!! :D
Ekland
12-02-2006, 19:50
We need to develop a marketing campaign to bring beer to these poor, poor people. I mean they have kava sure but from what I gather it tastes like shit and knocks you out too fast... beer is the answer folks!
Moantha
12-02-2006, 19:55
I wonder. If a full cargo shipment had him viewed as a messiah, would a motorboat full of supplies be enough to get me to be viewed as a prophet?

Would a knapsack full get me viewed as a high priest?
Straughn
13-02-2006, 10:38
How does Stephenism sound for a religion?
Doesn't Colbert already have a religion?
He's at least got the merchandise angle down rather well ...
Straughn
13-02-2006, 10:40
I'm going to start worshipping the guy. Fucking Genius, made himself god, started a new mythology, and gets to take credit for the actions of the US Navy?
I hope this wasn't an attempt to disprove my post. Nay, it ... oh never mind. :D
Free Soviets
14-02-2006, 00:41
thread blong john frum
The UN abassadorship
14-02-2006, 00:47
I am GoD
Cuddles and hugs
14-02-2006, 01:46
who wouldn't want to be one?:confused: