NationStates Jolt Archive

Since my sophmore year of High School, I went through six ear reconstruction surgery and 3 jaw surgery. Over Christmas break I had my LAST surgery ever. Now that I am within the relam of what is consider "normal" physically, I am thinking about becoming more social. However, I am having some questions. Before my surgery society has rejected me because I looked "diffrent". That I was "strange". So I do what anyone would do once rejected, become a loner. Which I have become. However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?

I'm of two minds. YOu don't need society, but society might need you and your insight.

Give socitey another chance.

Give socitey another chance.

Why?

Why?
New expierence for one.
You said yourself you've never been accepted by society, or at least you feel that way. I really don't know.

Now, that would be the best reason.
I could list a number of things, and they all require a little thing called: hope.

You got that left, right?

New expierence for one.
You said yourself you've never been accepted by society, or at least you feel that way. I really don't know.

Now, that would be the best reason.
I could list a number of things, and they all require a little thing called: hope.

You got that left, right?

The issuse is not hope, the issuse is the fact that only after looking "normal" do I actually stand a chance of being "accpeted'.

The issuse is not hope, the issuse is the fact that only after looking "normal" do I actually stand a chance of being "accpeted'.
The answer is yes (because you still have hope, BTW, you're still here writing), but you gotta stop clinging on to the past.

I was in a similiar situation as you. I was severly depressed. People mocked me, made fun of me, and generally made me feel unwanted and unaccepted. I had a lisp due to a loss of hearing around 40% when I was younger. I had migrains that split my skull open and I cried and cried until they stopped, nothing would help me, I could only lie there until they went away. I was, in short, a very awkward child as I could not speak correctly and had bouts of horrible pain at random.

The only thing you can do is just be yourself. Go at life, and see what it gives you. If life throws you shit, step over it. If people don't accept you, don't worry about it, they're obviously aren't willing to give you companionship. It doesn't matter if "society" accepts you or not, its whether or not you create your own cicle of people that love and care about eachother. Don't worry about society, society is stupid.

Forget society, get a circle of friends!

Since my sophmore year of High School, I went through six ear reconstruction surgery and 3 jaw surgery. Over Christmas break I had my LAST surgery ever. Now that I am within the relam of what is consider "normal" physically, I am thinking about becoming more social. However, I am having some questions. Before my surgery society has rejected me because I looked "diffrent". That I was "strange". So I do what anyone would do once rejected, become a loner. Which I have become. However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?


Some people are douchebags, and will always remain so.
Surrround yourself with those who are not.

Blame it on capitalism, I blame everything on it.

If you put the past behind you for a moment *yes, past, you can come back in in a moment* you'll have much more fun with close friends. Screw society.

Some people are douchebags, and will always remain so.
Surrround yourself with those who are not.

outstanding advice....i may take it as well!:)

Some people are douchebags, and will always remain so.
Surrround yourself with those who are not.

I think that's fairly sound.

To the OP, there are other people who don't buy into whatever "society" is selling this year. Find a few real friends who see past that kind of thing. They might be rare, but they're around.

I can see where its a raw deal that people give you crap about appearance.

You should become a hermit, because if there is one thing the world needs, it is more manifestos.

I became a loner out of my own free choice (friends didn't seem like a very good thing after being beaten up by my "friends"), but when I later was forced into having friends, it felt great. I say give society another chance, but start out carefully and slowly.

You should give people a try. Just try to sort out the good from the assholes and you'll do fine.

Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?
Go out into society and encourage tolerance. It's not that difficult - most people make unkind comments about 'unusual' people when they think they can't hear them, and if you catch someone you know doing that try to gently discourage them, explaining how you felt when it happened to you. Of course that doesn't help with people who make a real effort to be nasty, but it can have a small effect. Or maybe I'm just being hopelessy idealistic.

Since my sophmore year of High School, I went through six ear reconstruction surgery and 3 jaw surgery. Over Christmas break I had my LAST surgery ever. Now that I am within the relam of what is consider "normal" physically, I am thinking about becoming more social. However, I am having some questions. Before my surgery society has rejected me because I looked "diffrent". That I was "strange". So I do what anyone would do once rejected, become a loner. Which I have become. However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?

I think you're judging society on the experiences of a youngster among youngsters. You won't find a group more openly and honestly cruel.

Regardless of what you look like, you will discover that fitting in or standing out is more a factor of personality than looks.
And right around that time you'll also find all new reasons to hate society.

The bottom line is that you never should have given society a FIRST chance. But since you have, you might as well enjoy the show. :)

congratulations on having your last surgery. it must be great to be past the burden of worrying about "the next one"

yes give "society" another chance. first because its hard to live a good life without society. you need some friends. you need a job. you need school. you need entertainment.

secondly, you can join society with an advantage. you know first hand what a sham it is. how people pretend that its whats inside thats important but they cant get past the outer shell. how utterly insecure popular people are, they dont even dare be friends with an odd looking boy for fear that theywill lose their popular status!

if you truly look past the sham of popularity and the meaningless outer shell, you can form deeper and more long lasting relationships than those of people who have not gone through what you have gone through.

try not to be bitter. dont hold it against everyone that they couldnt overcome their programming. and in any case, life still sucks even when you fit right in. dont be thinking that all your problems are solved. you will still have to work at it. you just wont be at an unfair disadvantage.

now go enjoy your life. you only get one. might as well make the most of it.

However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?
Form your own religion and make one of the acceptance rites involve all new female converts having to be approved by you during a night-long "training session." :D

Go out into society and encourage tolerance. It's not that difficult - most people make unkind comments about 'unusual' people when they think they can't hear them, and if you catch someone you know doing that try to gently discourage them, explaining how you felt when it happened to you. Of course that doesn't help with people who make a real effort to be nasty, but it can have a small effect. Or maybe I'm just being hopelessy idealistic.

Yes, yes you bloody are. Go out into society and kick the shit out of poeple who you hear saying the above.

No, he's right. People who are alright underneath it all will respond to gently being told that they're being unintentionally harsh. And then you spread a little love around the world. The only problem is those arseholes who want to hurt people.

However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?
Give society another chance. Compared to other things that society's done, you holding a grudge would just be pathetic.
Take, for example, salvery. Many people were forced into a life of it simply because they were born slaves, or were conqured. You haven't been forced into slavery, so that's one thing you have.
Also, society has a longstanding problem of attacking the different. In America, African Americans were all assumed to be slaves before the civil war (at least in the south), and punished according to that perception if "out of place." Hundreds (probably more) of African Americans died because of such a perception.
Then there's the Mormons. "Christians" organized mobs to burn down mormon houses, tar and feather followers, and even murder many of them. There was even a law passed on Missourri that made it your legal duty to shoot a mormon on sight (despite the laws unbelievable mockery of the U.S. constitution). Because of the amnesty towards them, they were forced to trek (in some cases barefoot) through the great plains until finally settling in the place nobody else wanted (Utah).
And you think of rejecting society because they jeered you a bit in highschool? It's just sad. Besides, there are things you can get from society that you cannot get alone. Explore, find out what they are. There is seriously no reason to turn away.

hey, you got personality, you will do fine :) find some people who are worth your time and have fun

Bear in mind that we, here, are society too. And yes, of course we can't SEE you, but you will find that many people out there in the big bad world are like us in thinking that what you look like doesn't really matter, it is who you show yourself to be inside that counts.

They may be harder to find than the idiots who judge on appearance alone, but when you find them, you will discover that it was well worth the search. And along the way, you may find that you can forgive the idiots for not knowing any better, and try to help them see that they can be more than the shallow one dimensional characters they are trying to be. Not an easy task, I'll grant you, but try to cultivate a good sense of humor, BELIEVE me that will help.

Good luck.

Why?

Because the world isn't there for you...you are there for the world.

If People Accept You AFTER You Become "Normal", They're So Shallow They Don't Deserve Another Chance.

Yes, yes you bloody are. Go out into society and kick the shit out of poeple who you hear saying the above.
So to clarify, you're advocating violence against people you think are too idealistic? And you think it's right to bully people who don't look 'normal'?

No, he's right. People who are alright underneath it all will respond to gently being told that they're being unintentionally harsh. And then you spread a little love around the world. The only problem is those arseholes who want to hurt people.
Thanks for the support. It's a shame we have to deal with people like The Blessed Chris advocating physical violence against us.

Since my sophmore year of High School, I went through six ear reconstruction surgery and 3 jaw surgery. Over Christmas break I had my LAST surgery ever. Now that I am within the relam of what is consider "normal" physically, I am thinking about becoming more social. However, I am having some questions. Before my surgery society has rejected me because I looked "diffrent". That I was "strange". So I do what anyone would do once rejected, become a loner. Which I have become. However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?
Remember, you're a Libertarian. Society doesn't exist.

Why not?

You have nothing to lose by having an active social life, and everything to gain.

PAAAAARRRRTAY!

Not all people judge others on appearance. There are many people who see the soul inside the body, regardless of the fact that the body is beautiful or not. I myself have a physical deformity of sorts, and yeah it can tend to push you into hermit mode. However, that's a lonely way to live life. I think you should find friends who love you for who you are. It's a difficult process whether you're stunning or plain, intelligent or dumb. True friends aren't easy to come by, and I don't think you should quit the fight or let people get you down before you find them. :)

So to clarify, you're advocating violence against people you think are too idealistic? And you think it's right to bully people who don't look 'normal'?

No, the opposite. Sorry for any misunderstanding. Trust me, being bullied simply for being tall is not fun.

If People Accept You AFTER You Become "Normal", They're So Shallow They Don't Deserve Another Chance.

I like you. Eh I'm still thinking about it, it's going to be hard to be more social, I've kinda grown fond of the shell I wrapped around myself while being a loner, kinda hard to shed that shell.

Since my sophmore year of High School, I went through six ear reconstruction surgery and 3 jaw surgery. Over Christmas break I had my LAST surgery ever. Now that I am within the relam of what is consider "normal" physically, I am thinking about becoming more social. However, I am having some questions. Before my surgery society has rejected me because I looked "diffrent". That I was "strange". So I do what anyone would do once rejected, become a loner. Which I have become. However, I wonder if becoming social again would even be worth it. Why should I give society a second chance after they didn't accept me with the face I was born with? Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?
I'm sure you did look "diffrent", what with 6 ears and 3 jaws...

Seriously, weren't you on here the other day seeking advice as to what beer you should drink while hanging out with friends? Sounds like you care just a tad too much what "society" thinks. Why do you think you need to drink beer? Why advice about what beer you should be drinking? A bit too influenced by "society", commercials, peer pressure, etc.? Here's some advice: DRINK WHAT YOU LIKE! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T DRINK IT! Likewise, IF YOU WANT TO BE SOCIAL, THEN BE SOCIAL. IF NOT, THEN DON'T! I suggest you locate the center of the universe, and then step, at least slightly, to one side and have a good look around.

Here's something to think about: If you reject "society", what is the alternative? More of your present "lonerism"? Think about it, then decide for yourself.

:) :) :)

Yes, yes you bloody are. Go out into society and kick the shit out of poeple who you hear saying the above.
Finally something that makes sense!

i think your saying you have been rejected by society because a single group within society has rejected you. there plenty of people who are deformed and they seem to deal with it fine. they seem to have a place in society. perhaps your along the lines of the group that thinks the rest of the world has rejected them, just because no one has come to talk with you. ever think maybe you have to make a move, and go talk to them.

Tell "society" to go fuck itself. Society=the masses=crowds of stupid, bigoted cattle who get more so when in groups, which is what a "crowd" is. I'll publish your editorials and make sure no one comes within 100 km of your hermitage, or whatever.

Not to mention that even if society wasn't like that, the fact would still remain that anyone who would only accept you after you had the surgeries is a shallow, pathetic loser not worth lowering yourself by associating with.

After being rejected for such a long period of time it might be difficult for you to become social because you haven't developed social skills well. You certainly should "give society another chance" because you'll be much better off in the long run if you do. You've already gotten past what got you rejected in the first place, now your biggest obstacle is social inexperience, which you should be able to get over with time.

Why should 9 long surgeries be required for me to be acceptable? What do yall think?

I think that if those surgeries were not for your general health or were not for your own personal edification, then they were pointless.

Anyone who rejected you before based on appearance is a fool and should be sent to spend 24 hours with the pain monster.

Incidently, I have a friend who lost his nose in an industrial accident. He had some surgeries and opted to have one of those very realistic and cool prosthetics that he can snap on and off attached to his face.

Now and then when we're hanging out, we'll pretend to get into fisticuffs and I'll mock swing at his face and he'll palm the prosthetic and jump up screaming "My nose! You bastard!"

Scares the shit out of onlookers. A good time is had by us.

I admire your courage, I pity society. I'd hang out with ya.

Tell "society" to go fuck itself. Society=the masses=crowds of stupid, bigoted cattle who get more so when in groups, which is what a "crowd" is. I'll publish your editorials and make sure no one comes within 100 km of your hermitage, or whatever.

Not to mention that even if society wasn't like that, the fact would still remain that anyone who would only accept you after you had the surgeries is a shallow, pathetic loser not worth lowering yourself by associating with.
you do know that you are a part of society
just a thought

Finally something that makes sense!

*laugh* Yeah.

I could do without "society" as a whole. Most people are just stupid, rude imbiciles who won't care about you no matter what you look like. They only "care" if it gets them something.

On the other hand, there are still some people out there who aren't completely creepy that way. They're hard to find, but they do exist.

Now if only I could find some around here, I'd be good. Instead all I seem to come up with is stuck up pricks or unfriendly idiots. Still, out of the hundreds of thousands of people around, there MUST be someone else who isn't like that, mustn't there be?

Just remember what Groucho Marks said:

"I'd never join a club that would accept me as a member."