NationStates Jolt Archive

NSers love the Swedes and the Swiss.

Their respective countries both have a place in our hearts. But, if these two nations were to go on an all-out throwdown where the parties under question duke it out with culture, martial strength, and other implimented weapons:

Who'd be left after the dust settled?

There is no option to claim ignorance, so enlighten yourselves:

http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/sw.html
http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/sz.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Switzerland

Could have sworn I made this a public poll...grr....

Sweden.

Don't like that so many Swiss have voted for BNP-Equivalents. Plus, the Swiss really hate cars.

Militarily, it's still Sweden. They've got Saab Gripens, Swedish versions of the Leopards (really good ones) and the Visby Class (http://www.naval-technology.com/projects/visby/) Corvette.

Sweden may have better tanks, but Switzerland has better aircraft.

That and this would be a speedbump compared to the foes they've been training to fight for the past sixty years. :p

I can only imagine what kind of underground fortifications Switzerland might possess. I suspect it might take every military in the entire world to siege and seize Switzerland in conventional warfare.

Switzerland by a mile.

Sweden may have better tanks, but Switzerland has better aircraft.

I wouldn't count on that. Besides, Switzerland doesn't have a navy. Sweden does. So unless you want the Swiss to trek all the way around the Baltic (and through Finland - we all know how the Russians did...), they'd never get there.

I can only imagine what kind of underground fortifications Switzerland might possess.

Have you taken a look at an altitude-map of Sweden recently?

Besides, the Swiss economy doesn't have the strenght to project the kind of power that it would require to hold Sweden.

... Then again, the Swedes don't have the political will to project power...

I wouldn't count on that. Besides, Switzerland doesn't have a navy. Sweden does. So unless you want the Swiss to trek all the way around the Baltic (and through Finland - we all know how the Russians did...), they'd never get there.

I think the Swedes would have as much luck trying to get through Denmark and Germany to get to Switzerland, though. :p And having a navy doesn't really matter if you don't have an acre of ocean-front property in your nation.

I can only imagine what kind of underground fortifications Switzerland might possess. I suspect it might take every military in the entire world to siege and seize Switzerland in conventional warfare.

Switzerland by a mile.

Point, but that would only help if they stayed in their own country. You don't win battles by hiding at home.

Considering that Sweden has ten times the land area, the Swiss would probably get hopelessly lost if they tried to invade.

The most likely scenario:

Sweden: The people mill about aimlessly because no one wants to be the first one to move out. The Regering is nowhere to be seen because they got confused in all the beurocracy and accidently locked themselves inside the Parliament building. Göran Persson is on vacation somewhere and no one knows how to contact him.

Switzerland: The people vote on what to do. 5% want to attack, 7% want to fortify the home country, and 33% wanted to stay home and eat chocolate. The remaining 55% didn't show up for the vote.

In the end, Sweden wins because the only combatants from Switzerland (a handful of intelligence officers armed with pocket knives) to make landfall in Skåne run away screaming due to acute agoraphobia.

GDP this & military power that. Who cares?

Blonde, attractive, friendly women = Sweden.

Case closed.

Oh i don't know, Switzerland has its share of blondes.

I'm sorry to say that Sweden wins because of Saab and Ikea (or rahter the Ikea restruants, those meatballs and are gggooooooddddd).

GDP this & military power that. Who cares?

Blonde, attractive, friendly women = Sweden.

Case closed.

Agreed. Who cares about military power and stuff? I'd far prefer to live in Sweden.

That swiss german dialect is HORRIBLE!!! however they do have Fondue, quality Chocolate and CELTIC FROST.

That swiss german dialect is HORRIBLE!!! however they do have Fondue, quality Chocolate and CELTIC FROST.

Celtic frost? Is that 2000 year old snow that's now part of a glacier?

Celtic frost? Is that 2000 year old snow that's now part of a glacier?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celtic_Frost

Obviously Sweden will win, they have blonde bombshells.

Sweden...they have Ikea, Volvo, Saab...The swiss only have Swatch and chocolate (and the belgian chocolate is much better).

The most likely scenario:

Sweden: The people mill about aimlessly because no one wants to be the first one to move out. The Regering is nowhere to be seen because they got confused in all the beurocracy and accidently locked themselves inside the Parliament building. Göran Persson is on vacation somewhere and no one knows how to contact him.

Switzerland: The people vote on what to do. 5% want to attack, 7% want to fortify the home country, and 33% wanted to stay home and eat chocolate. The remaining 55% didn't show up for the vote.


Haha! Awesome!
But we'll have to change the outcome: in the end nobody wins because neither country will want to be the first to attack. The Swiss are way to polite to take that first step.

...(and I'll be at home eating chocolate :D)

Brings us to another question: how do you get Sweden and Switzerland to engage in that war?

Sweden...they have Ikea, Volvo, Saab...The swiss only have Swatch and chocolate (and the belgian chocolate is much better).

Don't forget the fondue man, the swedes do not have that!! mind you Gravadlax, hmmmm gravadlax...

Don't forget the fondue man, the swedes do not have that!! mind you Gravadlax, hmmmm gravadlax...

cheese fondue for teh win!

cheese fondue for teh win!

Yeah Cheese Fondue hmmmmm

Don't forget the fondue man, the swedes do not have that!! mind you Gravadlax, hmmmm gravadlax...
The Swedes have the Swedish chef.

Börk! Börk! Börk!

Don't forget the fondue man, the swedes do not have that!! mind you Gravadlax, hmmmm gravadlax...
It's not that hard to buy a fondueset and put some cheese or meat in it you know... :p

The swiss have cuckoo clocks though. Who can stand against cuckoo clocks?!

The swiss have cuckoo clocks though. Who can stand against cuckoo clocks?!
Good point... they're not Swiss though :p

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celtic_Frost

Looks like I was a little off track there.

Anyhow the swedes would never make any progress through the Alps, they would get chopped by the highly motivated and trained swiss citizen army, not to mention the Swiss Guards who would march from rome to kick swedish butt after receiving the blessings of his holiness Pope Benedict.

But Abba would chase the Swiss away when they would plan to come to Sweden...a very good defense you know...

Point, but that would only help if they stayed in their own country. You don't win battles by hiding at home.

Exactly...but you only lose them by hiding at home if the attacker is bigger, meaner and stronger than you.

The Swiss will never do anything BUT hiding at home...so if Sweden wants to actually win, sooner or later they invade...and Switzerland wins. :)

The Swiss, because they'll just pay someone to help them with all that Gold they got stashed away.

Exactly...but you only lose them by hiding at home if the attacker is bigger, meaner and stronger than you.

The Swiss will never do anything BUT hiding at home...so if Sweden wants to actually win, sooner or later they invade...and Switzerland wins. :)

In terms of invasion the swiss have many points in there favour, terrain, large pools of trained manpower, large supply of beef, dairy products and chocolates. The austrians tried to re-impose there rule there once and were soundly beaten.

Sweden will win by a mile. They have much better stuff and are much bigger as well. Switzerland only has their chocolate and their cheese, and since they're always stayed isolated and independent from everyone, no one will come to their aid.

GDP this & military power that. Who cares?

Blonde, attractive, friendly women = Sweden.

Case closed.
That's another damn good point :D

That swiss german dialect is HORRIBLE!!! however they do have Fondue, quality Chocolate and CELTIC FROST.
Yes, Swiss German is really freaky :eek:
Swiss chocolate is nice, but we have Milka! :p
And what's this "Celtic Frost" stuff? ... *sees link* ... Oh, Swiss music... *yawn*

@Cataduanes
The Swiss guard in the Vatican is a joke, they are only 100 man. Besides, they've sworn to only defend the pope, not Switzerland, so as long as the Swedes don't attack the Vatican, they're not allowed to do even as much as raise an eyebrow.

In terms of invasion the swiss have many points in there favour, terrain, large pools of trained manpower, large supply of beef, dairy products and chocolates. The austrians tried to re-impose there rule there once and were soundly beaten.

Large pools of trained manpower? Thanks to Swedens compulsory military service 33-50% of the males between 20 and 40 would be handed an AK-5 and also know how to use it. (keep in mind that Sweden has approximately 9 million inhabitants).

The swedish fjälljägare (mountain ranger) is superior in any mountain climate as they are trained in the north of sweden. The alps may be higher but the temparature could be classified as Sauna-like in comparison.

In typical Swedish fasion, the pro-Swedish parties in this throwdown merely vote and go on with life after sighing a long, "Meh."

Wait! Spoke too soon.

Large pools of trained manpower? Thanks to Swedens compulsory military service 33-50% of the males between 20 and 40 would be handed an AK-5 and also know how to use it. (keep in mind that Sweden has approximately 9 million inhabitants).

The swedish fjälljägare (mountain ranger) is superior in any mountain climate as they are trained in the north of sweden. The alps may be higher but the temparature could be classified as Sauna-like in comparison.

Ok but this vast assembly of swedish manhood would have to march in as attackers against a fotress like position, as for the fjälljägare no doubt they are capable but against a determined defender fighting on there own terrain and fueled by Fondue laced with schnaaps? i think the swiss would win that..and i am hoping that a swedish invasion on switzerland would resurrect memories of Gustav Adolphus and the 30 years war leading to a rising of the germans who would promptly overrun sweden (and would restore Scania to Denmark!!) :p

Sverige of course :) One day it won't only be Switzerland, but also the whole of Europe trembling beneath mighty Sverige's heel XD

Sverige of course :) One day it won't only be Switzerland, but also the whole of Europe trembling beneath mighty Sverige's heel XD
But no swedish team will ever win the champions league:p

But no swedish team will ever win the champions league:p
Er...Sverige will ban it and replace it with something its good at...heh they have the best..er...Vikings! :p Yes. Tremble heathens. XD

Er...Sverige will ban it and replace it with something its good at...heh they have the best..er...Vikings! :p Yes. Tremble heathens. XD

Longboat rowing! or perhaps Axe throwing:p anyhow it would be nice to see AIK and there horrible fans dissappear:p

Longboat rowing! or perhaps Axe throwing:p anyhow it would be nice to see AIK and there horrible fans dissappear:p
Axe-throwing! Yes! :eek: And dwarf tossing of course, but there aren't many of those left. :( Swedes can also hold down their drink, so maybe they should host global beer drinking competitions and prove Sverige's god-given powers in boozing!

I'll just put on my ghuille-suit made out of white bed-sheets and I'll be on my way...just a sec... :sniper:

HAHA!

Seriously tough the swiss would have to attack first, I wouldn't want to mess with swedens world record in peace (200 years)...

Our blonde bombshells would knock you out tough...cuco-swiss thinking they could clock out sweden with their horrible cheese and chocolate...

http://img.2dehands.nl/f/normal/9512423.jpg

Axe-throwing! Yes! :eek: And dwarf tossing of course, but there aren't many of those left. :( Swedes can also hold down their drink, so maybe they should host global beer drinking competitions and prove Sverige's god-given powers in boozing!

I think you would have plenty of contest in drink department maybe not the swiss but other european nations certainly...

Sweden would nuke Switzerland back to stone age with our secretly developed nukes. Or just bomb them with "surströmming" and see the swiss die in agony.

The odour of Scandinavian cheese and properly prepared fish could wreak havoc upon any noses further south than Germany. The only reason Germany and England get by is that they have been living close to the reek for 1500 years, and have become resistant to it.

Unfortunately, this means they can no longer taste or smell anything.

The Swiss, by a mile. They've defended themselves against bad odds in the past; they would do it again.

Plus, they have incredible watches. Always on time.

ALWAYS.

The odour of Scandinavian cheese and properly prepared fish could wreak havoc upon any noses further south than Germany. The only reason Germany and England get by is that they have been living close to the reek for 1500 years, and have become resistant to it.

Unfortunately, this means they can no longer taste or smell anything.
Have you not smelled spanish and portuguese fish dishes!! namely Bacalhau!!

Have you not smelled spanish and portuguese fish dishes!! namely Bacalhau!!
I doubt they are raw.

I think you would have plenty of contest in drink department maybe not the swiss but other european nations certainly...
Noone can hold their drink like a Nord though. :p

Noone can hold their drink like a Nord though. :p

I have gone drinking with Swedes before and shit god damn they can drink, but the champs in the north for me are finns man, from my own experiences of course.:p

I have gone drinking with Swedes before and shit god damn they can drink, but the champs in the north for me are finns man, from my own experiences of course.:p
A mix of slavic and germanic blood...'tis the Spawn of Satan :eek:

A mix of slavic and germanic blood...'tis the Spawn of Satan :eek:
Jag med och nej. Vi är det bästa som finns!

Jag med och nej. Vi är det bästa som finns!
Care to translate? :p

Care to translate? :p
Oh, I was under the assumtion. Heh.
Jag med och nej. Vi är det bästa som finns!
I too [am of Slavic and Germanic blood] and no [we are not the spawn of Satan]. We are the best there is! :D

Oh, I was under the assumtion. Heh.
Nah, I just like Sweden and Finland :) I will one day master Swedish though. XD

I too [am of Slavic and Germanic blood] and no [we are not the spawn of Satan]. We are the best there is! :D
Heh I meant that's one scary mix :p Both bloodlines are well-reputed for their ability to out-drink and outlast all others. :p I am afraid I will have to contend with anglo-germanic and some greek blood.

Heh I meant that's one scary mix :p Both bloodlines are well-reputed for their ability to out-drink and outlast all others. :p I am afraid I will have to contend with anglo-germanic and some greek blood.
Ah, yes that is true. :p
Must...not...hijack...own...thread...must...resist....
There was a comment about schnaps earlier in the thread, like Swedes can't handle burning schnaps or something. The Swedes are crazy about schnaps! They're even more excited to see it burning! *tells bar story where a flaming glass of schnaps stuck to someone's hand*

Oh, I was under the assumtion. Heh.

I too [am of Slavic and Germanic blood] and no [we are not the spawn of Satan]. We are the best there is! :D

Slavic and germanic:confused: , are not finns of finno-ugric descent (with a good measure of slavic and germanic)?

Slavic and germanic:confused: , are not finns of finno-ugric descent (with a good measure of slavic and germanic)?
I am not sure what finno-ugric is exactly, though I think its a sub-group of one of the two other groups. Not entirely sure. Apparently Estonia, Hungary, Finland and large parts of Russia are all Finno-ugric, whatever that may be.

I am not sure what finno-ugric is exactly, though I think its a sub-group of one of the two other groups. Not entirely sure. Apparently Estonia, Hungary, Finland and large parts of Russia are all Finno-ugric, whatever that may be.
No, they're not even related. Clicky (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finno_Ugric).

No, they're not even related. Clicky (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finno_Ugric).
Hmm so they are an entirely separate group altogether, although I guess nowadays they have a mix of germanic/slavic blood as well.

Hmm so they are an entirely separate group altogether, although I guess nowadays they have a mix of germanic/slavic blood as well.

I always did find finns a lot more distinct than say the swedish or danes are to me.

I say Sweden. Why? 'Cause they've got sexy accents and know how to party. Other reasons? What need?

Hmm so they are an entirely separate group altogether, although I guess nowadays they have a mix of germanic/slavic blood as well.
Well, I guess nowadays everything's a mix, nothing pure's left :p

Well, I guess nowadays everything's a mix, nothing pure's left :p
Yep, the pure breeds are all dying out :p

I say Sweden. Why? 'Cause they've got sexy accents and know how to party. Other reasons? What need?
lol they can vary between party animals and extremely quiet people. But yeah, when they do party, they definitely know how to do it. :)

Switzerland... I just don't plain like Sweden. (I'm Danish, remember??)

Switzerland... I just don't plain like Sweden. (I'm Danish, remember??)

Yeah sweden, give back scania!:p

Yeah sweden, give back scania!:p

Well there is a club thats trying to "dig" away scania (yes it's true)

Sweden fore the win!

lol they can vary between party animals and extremely quiet people. But yeah, when they do party, they definitely know how to do it.

;) you said it