NationStates Jolt Archive


British Spy Caught on tape masturbating

Minoriteeburg
10-02-2006, 01:25
British spy caught on tape masturbating on a stone-like transmitter
2006/02/09


Journalist of Russia’s First TV Channel (ORT) Viktor Shvagerus insists that Russian special services have a video of British spy Andrew Fleming masturbating on the spy stone. Two weeks ago, Russia’s FSB reported seizing of a spy electronic device belonging to the British intelligence designed as a stone. But it turned out later that the national TV channels did not show the most interesting part of the spy scandal.
http://funreports.com/img/1166.jpeg
The other day, cameraman of the First TV Channel Viktor Shvagerus informed on his Internet page (the blog ‘svezhy’) that editors of the channel had censored the footage of the operation made by the FSB. The cameraman wrote: “Censorship was applied to the footage showing one of the supposed spies performing an indecent action with the stone-like transmitter. Behind the cameras FSB experts explained that the British spy was masturbating in front of the stone. They did not name the man, but they grinned every time the name of Andrew Fleming was mentioned (secretary of the British Embassy in Russia Andrew Fleming is meant).”

There is no reason to doubt the credibility of the statements made by the well-known journalist. The spy stone scandal was stinky from very beginning. And now when more details of the story have surfaced it seems to be more revolting.

Head of the RF FSB’s Public Relations Center Colonel Sergey Ignatchenko says the electronic device disguised as a stone may cost about $30 million. Mr. Andrew Fleming will have a good time talking to his chiefs about the frivolous actions that he performed with such an expensive device, Express Gazeta wrote.



well its good to see the british putting their 30 million dollar spy equipment to good use. sorry i don't have much to say about this, but it's just too damn funny.
Iztatepopotla
10-02-2006, 01:29
LOL! Somehow I don't think this'll make it into the next James Bond movie.
Jewish Media Control
10-02-2006, 01:31
Yeah.. I always masturbate with stones.. how about you?
Yossarian Lives
10-02-2006, 01:37
Oh for fuck's sake who in the middle of a secret spy mission decides that that moment would be opportune to engage in a bit of onanism?
There was a former KGB guy on the news when the thing first came out who was convinced that this was a set up, a spoofed video to put the British government, and by extension the pro democracy NGO's whom they were funmding in a bad light. Now, unless he was wiping it on his coat or something, it seems more and more that that was the case.
Minoriteeburg
10-02-2006, 01:39
Yeah.. I always masturbate with stones.. how about you?


Not me thank you
Jenrak
10-02-2006, 01:44
Ha, a masturbating secret agent. How horrendous.
The Doors Corporation
10-02-2006, 01:59
that guy had to have been hella horny to do that.
Europa Maxima
10-02-2006, 02:05
Ha, a masturbating secret agent. How horrendous.
Nah, its kind of hot :p
Jenrak
10-02-2006, 02:08
Nah, its kind of hot :p

Eugh...
Skinny87
10-02-2006, 02:13
...And once again the British Intelligence Services show why we're still a superpower...
New Sans
10-02-2006, 02:16
So he was sort of like MacGyver for a moment except he used something that cost a lot. Hmmmm maybe he could work as a private eye if things don't work out for him in his current line of work.
Jerusalas
10-02-2006, 02:16
Am I supposed to be amused or disgusted?
The South Islands
10-02-2006, 02:18
Am I supposed to be amused or disgusted?

What about aroused?
Colodia
10-02-2006, 02:18
Don't you guys get turned on at the notion of being caught? ;)
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
10-02-2006, 02:30
Am I supposed to be amused or disgusted?
You're supposed to be amusted!
Straughn
11-02-2006, 00:41
Yeah.. I always masturbate with stones.. how about you?
Do you mean, you make a stack of *probably rounded* stones and take a few thrusts at it, kind of like people's inside rock garden/fountains? ;)
Or do you mean you do the thing they did in the Jackass movie with the matchbox car and the rubber?
Or, do you mean the way Chuck Palahniuk mentions in his Haunted book (X-rays, etc)?
Do you even seperate them from the dirt? Gravel or boulders? Crags and shale/slate?
Sand, even (if you're desperate)?

:confused:

Boggling.
Dobbsworld
11-02-2006, 00:47
:confused:

Boggling.
Tumbled stones all the way. Mmm-mmm smooth.
Jerusalas
11-02-2006, 00:49
What about aroused?

I might be. Were the British operative in question a woman. And an attractive woman at that.
Drunk commies deleted
11-02-2006, 00:51
The stone was asking for it. It was just sitting there with no clothes on where the spy could see it. Fucking cock-teasing rocks.
Straughn
11-02-2006, 01:05
The stone was asking for it. It was just sitting there with no clothes on where the spy could see it. Fucking cock-teasing rocks.
*FLORT*
hahahaha
So shapely ....
Straughn
11-02-2006, 01:07
Tumbled stones all the way. Mmm-mmm smooth.
I guess it makes prison work all that much more rewarding.
Also puts an interesting spin on a certain Pink Panther episode, "Pet Pink Pebbles".
*nods*
Minoriteeburg
11-02-2006, 01:16
The stone was asking for it. It was just sitting there with no clothes on where the spy could see it. Fucking cock-teasing rocks.


Tell me about it. One time i was all alone in the woods and...let's just say I never knew lovin like that before.
Straughn
12-02-2006, 01:10
Tell me about it. One time i was all alone in the woods and...let's just say I never knew lovin like that before.
You know, tree sap is flammable :eek:
Watch out for them little critters. THE LITTLE ones. You know, up yer pee-hole and all ... *itchy-scratchy*
Moss-covered stumps. Slime mold. Mmmm.