Neo Kervoskia
10-02-2006, 01:07
Oranges Have Vitamins, but That's Not All!
by Jim McElroy
Amarillo (DaP)-- Florida and California have tons of these orange spheres. They’re healthy http://www.aubrey-organics.com/spec_prods/img/orange_slice.jpgand full of vitamins, but that’s not all they have. A study conducted by the Amarillo Regional Statistical Exchange found that three out of every sixty-nine people became communist after they consumed half of an orange and drank one litre of pure, orange juice.
The first instance of this sudden political revelation occurred at the Ayn Rand Institute located in Irvine, California. It happened last Wednesday in the lounge. Leonard Peikoff, the institutes founder and Rand’s intellectual heir, was on his daily lunch break. His doctor had recommend that he get more Vitamin C. After eating the orange, his head began to spin. Fellow researches claimed that he ran out of the building, saying that it was urgent that he go to the library.
Later they said that he came back with several books under his arms. After closer examination, it was discovered that books were the Collected Works of Enver Hohxa, Communism for Beginners, and The Cat in the Hat Goes Red. His co-workers were shocked, not only was he reading books about collectivism, but he had also tossed his dollar sign lapel pin into the nearby trash bin.
http://www.forwardretreat.com/archives/g01_006b.gif
Mickey Mouse spreads the magnificent words of communism to all young comrades.
“I had a sudden revelation, ” Dr. Peikoff said, “I realised that all of my life I had been a stooge for a cause that was not only immoral, but also inefficient at the distribution of resources. The command economy is vastly superior to the inevitable and unacceptable failures of the free market system, “ he concluded with an orange in his hand.
This puzzled everyone. The phenomenon began to spread, first to Montana then finally to Texas where it caught the attention of the Amarillo Regional Statistical Exchange. The A.R.S.E began a study two days ago and announced its findings the following morning.
The information was then sent to its scientific research sector where department administrator Simon Evans discovered a new vitamin that causes this transformation. It has been nick-named Guevara– 77.
“It’s really quite astounding, “ exclaims Dr. Evans as he bites into a juicy Florida orange, “who knew that there was something in an orange that could make you communist? It’s unlike any other scientific discovery. Oh, and you know, capitalism is a failure. It’s fairly evident, “ he added.
This makes one wonder, if oranges will bring about a glorious communist revolution, what will apples do?
Copyright 2006, Disassociated Press
by Jim McElroy
Amarillo (DaP)-- Florida and California have tons of these orange spheres. They’re healthy http://www.aubrey-organics.com/spec_prods/img/orange_slice.jpgand full of vitamins, but that’s not all they have. A study conducted by the Amarillo Regional Statistical Exchange found that three out of every sixty-nine people became communist after they consumed half of an orange and drank one litre of pure, orange juice.
The first instance of this sudden political revelation occurred at the Ayn Rand Institute located in Irvine, California. It happened last Wednesday in the lounge. Leonard Peikoff, the institutes founder and Rand’s intellectual heir, was on his daily lunch break. His doctor had recommend that he get more Vitamin C. After eating the orange, his head began to spin. Fellow researches claimed that he ran out of the building, saying that it was urgent that he go to the library.
Later they said that he came back with several books under his arms. After closer examination, it was discovered that books were the Collected Works of Enver Hohxa, Communism for Beginners, and The Cat in the Hat Goes Red. His co-workers were shocked, not only was he reading books about collectivism, but he had also tossed his dollar sign lapel pin into the nearby trash bin.
http://www.forwardretreat.com/archives/g01_006b.gif
Mickey Mouse spreads the magnificent words of communism to all young comrades.
“I had a sudden revelation, ” Dr. Peikoff said, “I realised that all of my life I had been a stooge for a cause that was not only immoral, but also inefficient at the distribution of resources. The command economy is vastly superior to the inevitable and unacceptable failures of the free market system, “ he concluded with an orange in his hand.
This puzzled everyone. The phenomenon began to spread, first to Montana then finally to Texas where it caught the attention of the Amarillo Regional Statistical Exchange. The A.R.S.E began a study two days ago and announced its findings the following morning.
The information was then sent to its scientific research sector where department administrator Simon Evans discovered a new vitamin that causes this transformation. It has been nick-named Guevara– 77.
“It’s really quite astounding, “ exclaims Dr. Evans as he bites into a juicy Florida orange, “who knew that there was something in an orange that could make you communist? It’s unlike any other scientific discovery. Oh, and you know, capitalism is a failure. It’s fairly evident, “ he added.
This makes one wonder, if oranges will bring about a glorious communist revolution, what will apples do?
Copyright 2006, Disassociated Press