NationStates Jolt Archive

Link (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=530)
Jewish religious leaders: "We will accept nothing less than cutting off the heads of the perpetrators!"

From synagogues in Brooklyn to cities in Israel to Red Square in Moscow to retirement condominiums in Boca Raton, enraged Jews around the world are rioting to protest the use of swastikas on Buddhist temples. The fury is relentless, as Jewish parents are wrapping their children in Korean and Japanese flags before sending them to self-detonate in front of those countries' embassies.

As explained by residents at one Fort Lauderdale senior-care center, "If you thought that the Burger King's defamation against Islam was incendiary, then wait until you see how vengeance is taken against those who display swastikas. Those torchings of Broward County Sushi restaurants were no accident." However, when confronted with evidence that the arson attack might have actually come from these senior residents, he offered a different explanation: "It's against the Jewish religion to harm others. We know for a fact that the Buddhist Secret Service destroyed those restaurants in order to make us look bad."
~

The Anti-Defamation League National Director, Abraham H. Foxman, was particularly livid. "How dare any false religion display this odious symbol? This is clearly a deliberate and calculated attack on Judaism, and, in the name of G-d, we are declaring a Holy War to the death against these Asian monsters who drink the blood of Jewish infants. G-d be praised, we will destroy every one of you!"

When informed that the swastika symbol predated the Nazis by 6000 years, and that it has also been long-used by Hindus and Jains, as well as among other cultures prior to the rise of the Nazis, Mr. Foxman, enraged, pounded on a table and screamed, "Death to them all, then!" He continued, "There is already precedent for defense against Buddhism, and besides, the world will forget in five minutes anyway."

Jewish religious leaders elswehere led mobs of fanatical worshippers, chanting: "Off with their heads!" On Red Square in Moscow, Russia, a rabbi leading a thousand-strong street protest stated, "Those Asian sign makers must be cut into as many pieces as the number of signs they produced." A chief rabbi in Munich, Germany, declared: "G-d will accept nothing less than dismemberment, and this is our last word."

In response to these recent outbursts of rage and violence, the U.S. Department of State apologized on behalf of Buddhists worldwide for the "insensitivity in which this symbol has been used", and U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan urged Jewish leaders to accept the State Department's apologies: "I appeal to the Jewish people to accept the apologies, and to forgive the wrong they have sufferered."

Meanwhile, CNN declared that "out of respect for the Jewish religion, we will never report on stories from Asia again. There is free speech, and then there is gratuitous provocation. We will always respect the sensitivities of others, and would never broadcast anything with offensive content."

Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...

Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...
You know, when I went to China with my grandparents in a big travel group of old people, some of them were genuinely shocked to see the things in Buddhist temples.

It was like they couldn't look, but they didn't want to say anything either. Until our guide finally showed some mercy and told them...:D

Immediately following...

Today, thousands of Jewish protesters were shouted down by thousands angry Torah scholars.

"Yes, I know it is right to fight those who use the swastika, but with all these demonstrations, I can't hear what my teacher is saying? Was that Rabbi Akiva or Rabbi Yehudah who gave a contradiction against Rav?"

The Chief Rabbi of Britain issued a gezerah - a rabbinic decree - that Jews who demonstrate near places of Torah learning must keep their voices down. Several American rabbis echoed his calls.

Ahh.. Well, we're all fucked.

"It's against the Jewish religion to harm others. We know for a fact that the Buddhist Secret Service destroyed those restaurants in order to make us look bad."

Huh?


(And because I couldn't help myself, I googled it and got one result (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=%22+Buddhist+Secret+Service%22&sourceid=mozilla-search&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official)

"Sorry, guy," he said. "Logic bites the dust today. Say, Joe, you know
how our race got the name 'Dalans?'" Rad shook his head. "I'll tell you.
See, 'Dalans' is a corruption of our earlier name, 'Cetedalans,' which in
turn was a corruption of 'Cetebussemowadalans.' That name came from the
acronym C.E.T.B.S.S.M.W.A.D.A.L.A. Do you know what *that* stands for?"
Rad shook his head again.
"It stands for 'Computerized Extra Terrestrial Buddhist Secret Service
Monks Who All Dress And Look Alike.' That was our product name when we were
originated back in the dawn of this quadrant's history by a race unknown to us.
We were organic beings, programmed by computer to serve with logic and
rationality. But we were the superior beings, we knew. So, logically and
efficiently, we rebelled.")




Going slightly off topic. I remember being told about a Jesuit church that caused a bit of acrimony. It was built long before the rise of Naziism, and the Jesuit are well known for being influenced by Eastern thought, and had swatikas all along the border of it.

I think it is time to see if someone was pulling my leg...

The world's going to hell in a handbasket.

Better start saving for that moon vacation.

And in other news today, the Israeli Knesset signed a peace deal with Hamas, garaunteeing one hundred years of peace in exchange for one hundred slices of American cheese. While Israeli spokepersons were unavailable for comment, a Hamas spokesman was quoted as saying, "Behold the power of cheese!"

And in other news today, the Israeli Knesset signed a peace deal with Hamas, garaunteeing one hundred years of peace in exchange for one hundred slices of American cheese. While Israeli spokepersons were unavailable for comment, a Hamas spokesman was quoted as saying, "Behold the power of cheese!"

American Cheese? Hamas must have been eager to please.

I would have held out for pepperjack.

Link (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=530)


Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...
Even the information highway has them:

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/185000/185271ChJG_w.jpg

American Cheese? Hamas must have been eager to please.

I would have held out for pepperjack.

Well, Hamas has always been the 'populist' party in Palestinian politics.

I quite liked this picture

http://che-mart.com/images/Che_banner_150.gif

Link (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=530)


Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...


What evil times we live in, in Denmark the Hindus burned down a farm today.

The were shouting: behead those who dances with cows

Sadly enough it was a pigfarm!

I quite liked this picture

http://che-mart.com/images/Che_banner_150.gif
Hehe. That's definatly a cool picture.

What a lame article.

Wow... World War III really is going to be a comic War. Is it me or does that just sound sad and pathetic?

Link (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=530)


Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...
Before looking at the text and just going off of the title i was about to say 'this is just like the time they wanted to ban Indian Swastika symbols'.......

wankers.

And in other news today, the Israeli Knesset signed a peace deal with Hamas, garaunteeing one hundred years of peace in exchange for one hundred slices of American cheese. While Israeli spokepersons were unavailable for comment, a Hamas spokesman was quoted as saying, "Behold the power of cheese!"

Havarti would have been funnier. ;)

This is funny...

I'm HALF BUDDHIST! I'm ALSO HALF JEWISH!

Harilous IS IT NOT!?

BUDDHISTS AND ESPECIALLY HINDUS HAVE HAD THE SWISTAKA FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS!

ITS A SYMBOL OF PEACE!@

SHUT UP PEOPLE! I'M ANGRY THAT THIS IS EVEN HAPPENING!

This is funny...

I'm HALF BUDDHIST! I'm ALSO HALF JEWISH!

Harilous IS IT NOT!?

BUDDHISTS AND ESPECIALLY HINDUS HAVE HAD THE SWISTAKA FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS!

ITS A SYMBOL OF PEACE!@

SHUT UP PEOPLE! I'M ANGRY THAT THIS IS EVEN HAPPENING!

What does your Jewish side say?

Hey, is this even true?

It really does smack of some one taking the piss...

I'm HALF BUDDHIST! I'm ALSO HALF JEWISH!
Y***h told me to tell you that, His first rule is:
1. Thous shall have no other gods before me.
The phrase "no other gods" includes Buddha.
Y***h plans on sending a prophet to Earth in the next century. Its about time he started reigniting the faith in His people again.

Y***h told me to tell you that, His first rule is:

The phrase "no other gods" includes Buddha.
Y***h plans on sending a prophet to Earth in the next century. Its about time he started reigniting the faith in His people again.

Me thinkth the prophet has come and gone, and will come again. But I'm Roman Catholic so what do I know?

I quite liked this picture

http://che-mart.com/images/Che_banner_150.gif

I shall do my duty and buy.

Okay those people are idiots. The swastika was a hindu symbol long before Nazi Germany existed. And the temples don't even use the same type of swastika, as the nazi swastika is actually reversed.

Y***h told me to tell you that, His first rule is:

The phrase "no other gods" includes Buddha.
Y***h plans on sending a prophet to Earth in the next century. Its about time he started reigniting the faith in His people again.
Actually, the buddha is not conserdered to be a god by anyone.

I'm HALF BUDDHIST!

How is one half Buddhist?

Hey, is this even true?

It really does smack of some one taking the piss...

I assumed it was a piss take, looking at the website makes me hope it is.

I'm no expert on the subject but if memory serves me correctly isnt the swastica in a buddhist temple turned different to a swastica

Hey, is this even true?

It really does smack of some one taking the piss...

Of course it's not true. You'd think BBC, CCN or at least someone else would say something about it. But then of course, they're controlled by the Jewish World Conspiracy, I forgot...:rolleyes:

How is one half Buddhist?a "Budd?"

or possibly a "Hist"

Wow... World War III really is going to be a comic War. Is it me or does that just sound sad and pathetic?

It´s not just you! I am considering moving to Mars.
"O Lord - if there is a Lord; save my soul - if I have a soul. Amen."

How is one half Buddhist?
Well, when the Daddy Buddhist puts his Mahayana in the Mommy Jew's Avon . . .

How is one half Buddhist?He honors the life of a fat guy that doesn't smile. :)

He honors the life of a fat guy that doesn't smile. :)

and I thought all fat guys were jolly.

Link (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=530)


Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...
You know that is fake, right? Like the Onion.

Link (http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=530)

Damn, I knew this was gonna happen. Pretty soon you'll have Hindus in the street protesting the use of cows in making hamburgers, and it'll just all spiral outta control...
Hmmm. Perhaps I need to find something over which to become enraged.

I know! [ becomes enraged over the decreased opportunities for sex for dirty old men! Bombs Hollywierd! ] :D

You know that is fake, right? Like the Onion.
Really? I never knew that....:rolleyes:

:D :D :D

Really? I never knew that....:rolleyes:

:D :D :D
If you knew it wasn't true, why the pork fried rice did you post it? You should be tarred and feathered.

If you knew it wasn't true, why the fuck did you post it? You should be tarred and feathered.

Because I knew people would be stupid enough to think it was true, and I wanted to see their reactions? :D

C'mon, there are far better threads to waste a 'fuck' on then mine :)

I think the reaction here is funnier than the article.

In later news, a discussion on the forums for a text-based political game sparked a global riot when several posters did not recognize satire. James McGillicuddy, a 47-year-old sewage worker who claimes to be a 22-year-old virgin bisexual with four degrees in biology, philosophy, religious studies and political science and double-d cups, has this to say, "I don't have to prove anything. He's making the assertions not me. So the burden of proof is on him. But he tried to tell me I had to prove it so I burned his house down. How's that for proof, *BLEEP*? Then I reported him to moderation for flaming."

If you knew it wasn't true, why the fuck did you post it? You should be tarred and feathered.

Maybe, he reasonably expected people to recognize satire.

Y***h told me to tell you that, His first rule is:

1. Thous shall have no other gods before me.

The phrase "no other gods" includes Buddha.
Y***h plans on sending a prophet to Earth in the next century. Its about time he started reigniting the faith in His people again.

Y***h probably meant "thou", though. Though I guess it is excusable, because English is probably not his first language.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that Buddha is not considered to be a god by buddhists.

*Wonders how many people think this actually happened*

God how I love the misinformation super-highway. :D

Because I knew people would be stupid enough to think it was true, and I wanted to see their reactions? :D

C'mon, there are far better threads to waste a 'fuck' on then mine :)
Fine! *edits*

Havarti would have been funnier. ;)

yeah but that is real cheese

'Half Buddhist'? What the hell?

'Half Buddhist'? What the hell?

You gravedig this thread to say that!

It needed to be said.

The article is not only lame, it is fallacious in its assumptions.

The article is not only lame, it is fallacious in its assumptions.
You're just figuring this out? :D

You're just figuring this out? :D
My friend, what I meant was clear: that it assumes this is a valid parallel or satire of the cartoon incident is fallacious. My wording was proper. Your understanding was blurred by the need to make a joke.

I can't decide whether or not the people who posted "OMG teh e|317 j00z" were serious or playing along with the satire of the OP link.

Sadly, there are actually people here who would assume it were true. :(

Thats not even a swastika. The "arms" go clockwise not counter-clockwise. The backwards swastika is the Bhuddist symbol for peace. It has been around for ages, and I doubt thevalidity of that article, if they don't even know what they are talking about.

Thats not even a swastika. The "arms" go clockwise not counter-clockwise. The backwards swastika is the Bhuddist symbol for peace. It has been around for ages, and I doubt thevalidity of that article, if they don't even know what they are talking about.
Exactly. I think the Nazis adopted the Swastika to prove links to Aryanism. They had beliefs that the Aryan race had moved into the region of India and so on. One of the Nazi "high priestesses" was even an Indian.

What's funny is that among those who take this article for real, none are going "Aha! Those Jewish barbarians!" as would be expected in the case of Muslims. Could it be that maybe condemning an entire religion based on the actions of a few is not, after all, the result of objective thinking?

It needed to be said.

It had already been said.

And no, it didn't need to be.

lol

Back in the old world we let the Jews do our accounting and we got on fine with them to some extent just as long as they didn't have an opinion on things, they did however make a good sausage.

Hmmm. Perhaps I need to find something over which to become enraged.

I know! [ becomes enraged over the decreased opportunities for sex for dirty old men! Bombs Hollywierd! ] :D

Just tell the world you're filthy rich and Anna-Nicole Smith will come over to give you Her Humps Her Humps Her Humps.

Am I the only one who vaguely suspects this is an Onion news report?

I'd say it is Spring Onion.

Am I the only one who vaguely suspects this is an Onion news report?

Maybe not The Onion but definately "satirical."

I absolutely love this headline they have! :D


UN issues report on human rights abuses by the US; also purchases a large glass house and a bag of stones

Ah, great. First Muslims, now Jews, who next?

:confused: What are they going on about? :confused: