NationStates Jolt Archive

I got into a discussion about manners today with someone who I think is possibly the rudest person in the world, she says it was "bad manners" for my child to correct her grammar. I can see that, you know respect your elders and everything, but it was done in private and she wasn't correcting her to be mean, she just was trying to help (she is only 2) I took her to the side and explained and she appologized for correcting the person, but told me later "I just didn't want her to go through life sounding stupid" which I completely understand...anyway... I changed the conversation to talk about manners in general, and what "bad manners move" annoys her the most.

Her answer was "Children who speak to adults", her philosophy is that children shouldn't speak unless spoken to, which is the opposite of my philosophy but you know free country or whatever....

so, my "bad manners move" that annoys me, is people that see someone who needs help and don't stop to help them (like a lady who needs someone to open the door so she can get her child's stroller through, or an elderly person who needs a seat on the bus and they don't give thiers up,ect.)

what "bad manner move" annoys you the most?

No thank you and please

People who listen to what someone is saying, but do not accept the idea that they might be wrong and he might be right. Very bad manners. Alongside that are those who go out of their way to be nasty to someone just because they are in a bad mood.

chewing with mouth open
talking with mouth full
breathing heavily while eating
or just generally eating loudly.

most other bad manners i can forgive but those really get my back up for some reason. probably something to do with the manners-nazi primary school i went to.

that said i don't like to be corrected about my grammar or the way i speak either... depends how its expressed.

Fish knives, napkin rings and people who won't wait their turn.

Also, people who take their children to eat out in irish pubs in NYC at 10pm, and expect me to watch my language.

Hypocrisy - that's bad manners, right?

But what really gets my goat is general, basic rudeness. Not saying please, or thank you. I've shouted at people before because they never say please or thank you, so I think it's fair to say that bugs me.

Basic stuff like omitting 'please' and 'thank you', especially in shops/restaurants/etc where they are paid to serve you. It doesn't cost anything to be pleasant. I also hate loud talking and/or shouting in public, talking with your mouth full, bunking queues - anything that isn't basic courtesy really.

what "bad manner move" annoys you the most?
Groups of people who spread out and effectivly block the whole corridor/walkway, then slow down to crawling speed and then pretend that no one is around.

People who rush to get into an elevator, and not allow anyone inside to get out.

People who take their times exiting the elevator so that they block the doors as it's closing so no one can get on.

People who call the Helpdesk for help then proceed to tell the tech why their solution won't work without trying it first.

That children are necessarily incorrect (or if they're undeniably correct, they're a "smart-ass") if ever in opposition with an adult, not much of a manner, but....basicallly what happened with your kid. Very annoying.

I can't really think of anything that I consider to be such bad manners that it gets under my skin.

Apparently though, if someone calls me I am not supposed to try to get off the phone but let them end the conversation. I got a reaming for that before.
It's an unwritten rule of life I'm told.

I think my "bad manners" vexation is possibly more of a distasteful lack of decorum or respect, but I do consider it a matter of bad manners as well.

I really really can't stand when people pester either me or my boyfriend. I mean it's one thing to flirt and get to know somebody, but many people just don't stop when either of us say "I'm here with my boy/girlfriend". In fact, the other night I was not only told by some other guy that he could kick my boyfriend's ass (as if that'd make me more likely to hook up with him), but that same night some girl told him, in front of one of our closest friends, that I was fat and trashy and he'd have a much better time with her.

Again, it's one thing to have a harmless, somewhat flirtatious interaction, and neither of us have any problems with the other having a little bit of fun getting to know somebody, but we both have a very definite sense of where to draw the line, and it's sickening how many people are willing to try to push us beyond that.

Groups of people who spread out and effectivly block the whole corridor/walkway, then slow down to crawling speed and then pretend that no one is around.

I changed my mind - this has often irritated me. Well - just people who feel like they don't need to try to compromise space as you pass them or whatnot. Especially idiots in the supermarket that think it's just fine to block the majority of the isle with their cart as they block the rest of it with their body and pay no attention to you standing there clearing your throat to let them know of your presence and intent to pass.

I got into a discussion about manners today with someone who I think is possibly the rudest person in the world, she says it was "bad manners" for my child to correct her grammar. I can see that, you know respect your elders and everything, but it was done in private and she wasn't correcting her to be mean, she just was trying to help (she is only 2) I took her to the side and explained and she appologized for correcting the person, but told me later "I just didn't want her to go through life sounding stupid" which I completely understand...anyway... I changed the conversation to talk about manners in general, and what "bad manners move" annoys her the most.

Her answer was "Children who speak to adults", her philosophy is that children shouldn't speak unless spoken to, which is the opposite of my philosophy but you know free country or whatever....

so, my "bad manners move" that annoys me, is people that see someone who needs help and don't stop to help them (like a lady who needs someone to open the door so she can get her child's stroller through, or an elderly person who needs a seat on the bus and they don't give thiers up,ect.)

what "bad manner move" annoys you the most?

People like that woman you described being alive annoys me, though I don't know if "stupid people not committing suicide" counts as bad manners.

To be honest, I don't really notice bad manners much, so I guess they don't really bother me. Is talking unnecessarily loudly, or inaudibly quietly bad manners? That bothers me.

Groups of people who spread out and effectivly block the whole corridor/walkway, then slow down to crawling speed and then pretend that no one is around.

Yes! That is annoying.

Hypocrisy - that's bad manners, right?


Actually, I think you'll find that its the basis of good manners.

Ooh, don't get me started on the "silent children" policy. I hate that one.

The inability to agree to disagree.

oh, I just got off the phone, I have a new one.....bad phone manners!

oh, I just got off the phone, I have a new one.....bad phone manners!
What, you mean the kinds of people who don't say "goodbye" before they hang up, the ones who say it at least two times (sometimes three), or the absolutely generally rude people that you'd punch in the face, given the chance?

Simonist']What, you mean the kinds of people who don't say "goodbye" before they hang up, the ones who say it at least two times (sometimes three), or the absolutely generally rude people that you'd punch in the face, given the chance?

Telemarketers! Poor bastards have one of the worst jobs out there, but that's no excuse to be a complete jackass.

Telemarketers! Poor bastards have one of the worst jobs out there, but that's no excuse to be a complete jackass.
As someone who worked for several months doing cold-calling to University alumni for donations to the scholarship programmes, as well as frequently cold-calling people DURING DINNERTIME (it's the prime time, actually) for political donations, I'm pretty damn harsh on telemarketers who aren't doing their job properly. I mean, it's one thing to have a job that everybody hates you for from the start, but there are ways to go about it that both parties end on a good note. In my experience, which is just over a year total, I've only been cursed at or hung up on six times. EVER.
edit: but it does go both ways -- people have the obligation to be as polite as possible to those folks, they're only doing their job.

Ooh, don't get me started on the "silent children" policy. I hate that one.

Oh, I love it. You surely mean the one that you do not take your kids who are too young to not start yelling/crying/screaming/puking/whatever at random intervals to the movies, cafés/restaurants etc and/or leave that area when your child (unexpectedly) turns out to be such annoyance, right? Because that is a major rudeness.
Same goes for people who will let their (little kids) stroll around and grab/drool on/annoy anything and anyone within their reach without caring whether that is appreciated or not.

People who disagree with you in conversation, but have no logical or reasonable way to express their point so devolve into name calling and insults. That seriously annoys me.

Simonist']What, you mean the kinds of people who don't say "goodbye" before they hang up, the ones who say it at least two times (sometimes three), or the absolutely generally rude people that you'd punch in the face, given the chance?
"hello"
'who is this?'
"who did you call?"
"tell me who this is"
"okay bye"


they called back 4 times, before I found out that they are "attempting to collect a debt for <person I have never heard of>"

then they threatened to "garnish my wages" this is after I told them that I am not who they think I am, and then they asked for my # and I asked what number they were trying to reach, then they would tell me, then they asked for my credit card # so I hung up and they just now called back and said that they could take a check over the phone for 1/2 the balance :headbang: IT'S NOT MY DEBT I don't even know who they are calling for, they won't listen. I think I am going to report them for harrassment.

oh, but the "who is this?" is what annoys me.

you are supposed to be like

"hello"
"hello this is <your name> and I am calling for <person's name> are they available?"
"this is the wrong number"
"oh, I am very sorry, I was trying to dial 555-0132"
"no this is 555-0123"
"oh, please forgive my mistake, have a great day"

see, much less annoying. ;)

That happened to my parents when I was fairly small. Actually, it happened several times.

Oh, I love it. You surely mean the one that you do not take your kids who are too young to not start yelling/crying/screaming/puking/whatever at random intervals to the movies, cafés/restaurants etc and/or leave that area when your child (unexpectedly) turns out to be such annoyance, right? Because that is a major rudeness.
Same goes for people who will let their (little kids) stroll around and grab/drool on/annoy anything and anyone within their reach without caring whether that is appreciated or not.
I hate people who let thier kids behave like that. My daughter really was just trying to help, it's partially my fault, we have a thing at our house where we will speak incorrectly and let them try to correct us, you know "I sure played candy land good" and they will say "no, mom you played well"

This wasn't a complete stranger, she was family, she just uses a lot of words wrong and my 2 year old really was trying to help.

Simonist']As someone who worked for several months doing cold-calling to University alumni for donations to the scholarship programmes, as well as frequently cold-calling people DURING DINNERTIME (it's the prime time, actually) for political donations, I'm pretty damn harsh on telemarketers who aren't doing their job properly. I mean, it's one thing to have a job that everybody hates you for from the start, but there are ways to go about it that both parties end on a good note. In my experience, which is just over a year total, I've only been cursed at or hung up on six times. EVER.
edit: but it does go both ways -- people have the obligation to be as polite as possible to those folks, they're only doing their job.

I suppose that means you'd disagree with my plan to put on a riddiculous Russian accent, snarl, "Gregor, I told you never to call me at this number!" and hang up?

I suppose that means you'd disagree with my plan to put on a riddiculous Russian accent, snarl, "Gregor, I told you never to call me at this number!" and hang up?
I usually just tell them that I don't have a phone and that I worry that the voices have quit telling me to be good and now want me to donate money. It freaks them out most of the time, one time the lady got the joke, so I donated to her charity :)

I suppose that means you'd disagree with my plan to put on a riddiculous Russian accent, snarl, "Gregor, I told you never to call me at this number!" and hang up?
Well, technically that doesn't do anything. You can officially request that they not call you anymore, and legally they have to stop, but to do it in that way doesn't actually do you any good except getting a good chuckle. However, I'm more in support of that than the people who yell at telemarketers or act as if they've broken a sacred pact.

Usually the best thing to do is just interrupt them politely (and early on in their script) and tell them "Thank you, but I'm really not interested. Please remove my number from your system and never call here again."

Simonist']Well, technically that doesn't do anything. You can officially request that they not call you anymore, and legally they have to stop, but to do it in that way doesn't actually do you any good except getting a good chuckle. However, I'm more in support of that than the people who yell at telemarketers or act as if they've broken a sacred pact.

Usually the best thing to do is just interrupt them politely (and early on in their script) and tell them "Thank you, but I'm really not interested. Please remove my number from your system and never call here again."

Well a good chuckle is really all I'm after. That and confusing people. I do like to confuse people. :D

Well a good chuckle is really all I'm after. That and confusing people. I do like to confuse people. :D
Oh, well, then....at least you're not doing it in an incredibly demeaning way. Carry on :p

Simonist']Oh, well, then....at least you're not doing it in an incredibly demeaning way. Carry on :p

Be even worse if I actually got a telemarketer named Gregor.