NationStates Jolt Archive

someone i know is considering resorting to antidepressants and medication for clinical depression. someone i care about and wish i could help so they didn't have to use them. but i can't. :(

but i'm wondering if anyone here has experience of usining antidepressants and what they did, how they affected you, if they helped, if they changed you in any way or did they just magically make things better? did they just hide the depression and make you think you were better while you were on them? just tell me anything.

and please don't be too heavy... be tactful, cos i'm upset as fuck right now :(



i, myself, used narcotics and alcohol to "help" with my depression the last few years, but i know for sure they didn't help and all they did was to alter my mood and not truly help with the depression. that only came once i was off the drugs and able to get to grips with my mind, in the company and support of loved ones, and learn how to control my thoughts and emotions myself. i'm still no vulcan and the depression is still there, but i can categorically say the drugs did nothing for me but continue my illness. i hope that prescription medical antidepressants are better than that, but i still don't trust them.

please, any experience or reassurance or just anything would be a great help right now. i'm just worried about my friend :(

I had to try about 8 different pills before I found one that worked, it's a 5 week lag between tries too, 3 weeks to wait for effect and then 2 weeks off before you try a new one, even drugs in the same family were different for me. I finally found one that works, I don't need to be on it now, I was only on it for about 6 months then weened off, it really helped a lot, the other 7 though, I had various side effects, one of them made me suicidal, and another one made me manic. It's a tough road to find something that works, but sometimes you just need more help. It could be that the first one they try helps a lot.

I had to try about 8 different pills before I found one that worked, it's a 5 week lag between tries too, 3 weeks to wait for effect and then 2 weeks off before you try a new one, even drugs in the same family were different for me. I finally found one that works, I don't need to be on it now, I was only on it for about 6 months then weened off, it really helped a lot, the other 7 though, I had various side effects, one of them made me suicidal, and another one made me manic. It's a tough road to find something that works, but sometimes you just need more help. It could be that the first one they try helps a lot.
i'm glad they helped, but none of them like... changed you though? right?

what if one of the ones she tries makes her suicidal? what if she goes through with it cos of the drugs? :(

Depression medication has helped some people I know and did nothing for others that I know. Particularly one guy whom is soon going to be getting electro shock therapy because he has taken every antidepressant in the book and he still wanted to commit suicide because they didn't help him at all.

I'm no great fan of antidepressants and know exactly what heavy suicide inducing depression is like but if it keeps my friends in a good mood (or at least not in a suicidal mood) then I can't argue against them.

I also know what it's like to try to tell a depressed person that they have the ability to get control of their mind and emotions... they don't take it very well. I know I never did and I know that those I have tried to help usually end up getting angry.

Oh also I took experimental antidepressants for several months once (I was poor and it was a program to use you as a guinea pig to try it out and I was desperate because I couldnt afford to see a real doctor or pay for approved medication).

They didn't change the way I think, in fact they barely did anythign at all, although I was able to sleep a bit better. After several months of takign them I just quit because it didn't seem to be helping. They called me and told me to turn the pills in because they found that the drug caused the brains in cattle to bleed!!! :eek:

I used paxil for a spell a few years back. It caused some weight gain, and I had difficulty with sleep patterns.

Overall though the impact wasn't that great (in terms of negative side effects). I really wouldn't worry about it.

That said, I have found that diet and excercise are far more effective for regulating my depression than drug therapy. I would exhaust those options before resorting to drugs. Just my 2 cents. And I am not a doctor, so what I say has very little weight other than my own experience.

I had to try about 8 different pills before I found one that worked, it's a 5 week lag between tries too, 3 weeks to wait for effect and then 2 weeks off before you try a new one, even drugs in the same family were different for me. I finally found one that works, I don't need to be on it now, I was only on it for about 6 months then weened off, it really helped a lot, the other 7 though, I had various side effects, one of them made me suicidal, and another one made me manic. It's a tough road to find something that works, but sometimes you just need more help. It could be that the first one they try helps a lot.


Smunkee, you should give him a link to that book that you linked me too!

Depression medication has helped some people I know and did nothing for others that I know. Particularly one guy whom is soon going to be getting electro shock therapy because he has taken every antidepressant in the book and he still wanted to commit suicide because they didn't help him at all.

yeah i can quite see that... if even the last resorts don't work you could easily end up feeling like a total hopeless mess.
when i was depressed i feared going to the doctor about it for fear of being told i wasn't depressed after all and that there was nothing wrong with me, cos that would just have meant those feelings were normal and are what life is about, and that would have been too much to bear and would have made life not worth it. i know now thats not the case and, after going to the doctors i got the "good news" that i was clinically depressed... so, i guess the point of that is i can understand your friend there

I'm no great fan of antidepressants and know exactly what heavy suicide inducing depression is like but if it keeps my friends in a good mood (or at least not in a suicidal mood) then I can't argue against them.

but thats the thing... your friends are still your friends? not zombies or different people, or anything? (i've never known anyone use them personally before, and never used them myself like i said... the stereotype is that they turn you into a zombie... maybe i'm just naive)
don't get me wrong... i want to help my friend, i want her to be better and not be depressed any more, but i love her the way she is now, as a person, and i would just hate for the drugs to change her at all in any other way than just treating the depression.

I also know what it's like to try to tell a depressed person that they have the ability to get control of their mind and emotions... they don't take it very well. I know I never did and I know that those I have tried to help usually end up getting angry.
she just dismisses it when i say that to her. she doesn't get angry but just insists that it doesn't work for her. i mean, she's been to therapy and all sorts, and she's probably tried, but i still think its the only true way to win over depression. everything else is just a quick-fix or half-measure... to truly be able to control your own mind is what is needed. i don't know if i'm right cos all i know is that it has helped me and still does as i get better at it every day, but... i don't know.

i'm glad they helped, but none of them like... changed you though? right?
nope. The depression changed me, the meds helped me get back to normal. I was at a point where I couldn't see anything good ever coming, the pills helped me see that there was good, it was still up to me to concentrate on it. It's kinda like when you sprain your ankle, the tylenol helps the pain, but you still have to take care of yourself.

what if one of the ones she tries makes her suicidal? what if she goes through with it cos of the drugs? :(
If she knows what to expect, she can call her doctor after a week or so if she feels more depressed. It's okay to feel the same after a week, but not okay to feel worse, she should stay in close contact with her Dr.
You can help, if you notice a marked change then you can urge her to get help, my husband did that, he played "depression detective" and when he realized I was getting worse, he helped me to get help.

Smunkee, you should give him a link to that book that you linked me too!
ah The Feeling Good Handbook, (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452281326/104-8092150-9103144?v=glance&n=283155) it's really really helpful, it helped me to gain control of my emotions, and believe me it really changed everything. I have what they call a biological depression, which basically means that it's caused by my body and not by my situation. I can control the way that I think now, it helps me a lot esp. when my chemicals are haywire. I can step back and say "is this really what's going on?" instead of making the worst case senario out of everything that happens.

Prozac completely changed my life for the better, but anti-depressants are highly individual things. (S)He should discuss their specific symptoms with their GP, along with any allergies, illnesses and whatnot. The doctor should be able to prescribe something appropriate; if that doesn't work, something else can be tried. A lot of it's trial and error.

nope. The depression changed me, the meds helped me get back to normal. I was at a point where I couldn't see anything good ever coming, the pills helped me see that there was good, it was still up to me to concentrate on it. It's kinda like when you sprain your ankle, the tylenol helps the pain, but you still have to take care of yourself.

yeah, that makes sense. and even sounds good...
but the thing is she says that she can control depressing thoughs - like not being able to see anything good coming for example - but feels, emotionally, that thats the case. feeling unable to cope and dejected. she says its emotion, not thoughts. in my mind one leads to the other and visa-versa, even when i was depressed, but it seems her thoughts and emotions are out of sync or unconnected somehow. maybe thats where drugs would come in handy, to sort out the neurochemistry and all the neurotransmitters that depression changes, but i just don't know
i feel utterly helpless. been crying a fair bit too... i'm somewhat amazed at how much this has affected me :(


If she knows what to expect, she can call her doctor after a week or so if she feels more depressed. It's okay to feel the same after a week, but not okay to feel worse, she should stay in close contact with her Dr.
You can help, if you notice a marked change then you can urge her to get help, my husband did that, he played "depression detective" and when he realized I was getting worse, he helped me to get help.
i would be more than happy to be depression detective for her, but i'm not with her all the time... and i worry about what she could do or feel like when i'm not there to help or stop things getting worse...
but yeah, keeping in contact with the doctor would be wize. don't know how its done here in the uk though - my doctor just referred me to some councellors and told me to piss off. i should hope its different if you're on their prescriptions.

modern antidepressants arent like the zombifying stuff they used years ago.

my sister took zoloft for about 6 months. it did her a world of good. she had been depressed from too many losses (our parents died, her dog was struck by lightning) and she just couldnt get back to some kind of equilibrium. she was never anything but herself. after a while she was OK again.

your friend needs to be closely monitored by the doctor and she cant quit any of the drugs without the doctors help (its the going cold-turkey without a doctors supervision that puts teens into a suicidal state) so keep good communications with her and encourage her to see the doc whenever she feels she is having a med problem and to never skip an appointment.

this is a good thing not a bad one.

ah The Feeling Good Handbook, (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452281326/104-8092150-9103144?v=glance&n=283155) it's really really helpful, it helped me to gain control of my emotions, and believe me it really changed everything. I have what they call a biological depression, which basically means that it's caused by my body and not by my situation. I can control the way that I think now, it helps me a lot esp. when my chemicals are haywire. I can step back and say "is this really what's going on?" instead of making the worst case senario out of everything that happens.
omg thank you! bought it from .co.uk already! :fluffle:

lets hope it helps her in the same way cos that sounds reminiscant of what she describes

yeah, that makes sense. and even sounds good...
but the thing is she says that she can control depressing thoughs - like not being able to see anything good coming for example - but feels, emotionally, that thats the case. feeling unable to cope and dejected. she says its emotion, not thoughts. in my mind one leads to the other and visa-versa, even when i was depressed, but it seems her thoughts and emotions are out of sync or unconnected somehow. maybe thats where drugs would come in handy, to sort out the neurochemistry and all the neurotransmitters that depression changes, but i just don't know
i feel utterly helpless. been crying a fair bit too... i'm somewhat amazed at how much this has affected me :(
it's difficult to see someone you care about go through something and feel like you can't help them. One thing you can do is be there, always, let this person know (if they don't already) that they can talk to you about anything, and that you won't judge at all. Women esp. need someone who they can "vent" to without that person trying to "fix it", just listen, if thier day sucked say you understand, if thier day was great be happy for them, your friend needs to know that even if they have a "the world would be better without me day" that they can talk to you about it, it means everything to have someone who you can tell anything (I have a feeling this person already knows that, but you might want to remind them)



i would be more than happy to be depression detective for her, but i'm not with her all the time... and i worry about what she could do or feel like when i'm not there to help or stop things getting worse...
but yeah, keeping in contact with the doctor would be wize. don't know how its done here in the uk though - my doctor just referred me to some councellors and told me to piss off. i should hope its different if you're on their prescriptions.
more contact is better but, you can help even if you aren't always around, the feelings usually won't come on all at once, it's more like rolling down a hill than driving off a cliff, if you see downward movement then it's time to act.

I have no idea how things are in the UK, the doctors here in the US need all the appointments they can to pay thier malpractice insurance, so they are quite happy to see us, even if they don't really "need to", once one even billed me for calling his office:rolleyes:

modern antidepressants arent like the zombifying stuff they used years ago.

my sister took zoloft for about 6 months. it did her a world of good. she had been depressed from too many losses (our parents died, her dog was struck by lightning) and she just couldnt get back to some kind of equilibrium. she was never anything but herself. after a while she was OK again.

your friend needs to be closely monitored by the doctor and she cant quit any of the drugs without the doctors help (its the going cold-turkey without a doctors supervision that puts teens into a suicidal state) so keep good communications with her and encourage her to see the doc whenever she feels she is having a med problem and to never skip an appointment.

this is a good thing not a bad one.
ok... starting to feel better about the whole situation... thanks everyone :)

i mean she hasn't made the decision yet, but i just freaked out at the thought of losing her (if that makes any sense), so she might not even go through with them

someone i know is considering resorting to antidepressants and medication for clinical depression. someone i care about and wish i could help so they didn't have to use them. but i can't. :(

but i'm wondering if anyone here has experience of usining antidepressants and what they did, how they affected you, if they helped, if they changed you in any way or did they just magically make things better? did they just hide the depression and make you think you were better while you were on them? just tell me anything.

and please don't be too heavy... be tactful, cos i'm upset as fuck right now :(



i, myself, used narcotics and alcohol to "help" with my depression the last few years, but i know for sure they didn't help and all they did was to alter my mood and not truly help with the depression. that only came once i was off the drugs and able to get to grips with my mind, in the company and support of loved ones, and learn how to control my thoughts and emotions myself. i'm still no vulcan and the depression is still there, but i can categorically say the drugs did nothing for me but continue my illness. i hope that prescription medical antidepressants are better than that, but i still don't trust them.

please, any experience or reassurance or just anything would be a great help right now. i'm just worried about my friend :(

I've been taking anitdepressants for at least 15 years.

They got me through law school, a high profile clerkship, and a very high paying job.

My only regret is the current cocktail I am on isn't strong enough to defeat my current bout of depression and anxiety. Sometimes you have to try different meds or combinations of meds to find the right mix.

I used Lexapro a while back. It made me extreamly paranoid.

ok... starting to feel better about the whole situation... thanks everyone :)

i mean she hasn't made the decision yet, but i just freaked out at the thought of losing her (if that makes any sense), so she might not even go through with them

You've already gotten lots of good feedback.

I'll say one more thing. If your friend has clinical depression, you stand a better chance of losing her if she doesn't try medication.

Medication for illness is a good thing.

In general, antidepressants are overprescribed.

However, they have done far more good than harm, so I'm not going to knock them.

I would, however, like to see more borderline cases referred to herbal supplements and to dietary changes which, along with some counseling, can work wonders without the need of drugs.

it's difficult to see someone you care about go through something and feel like you can't help them. One thing you can do is be there, always, let this person know (if they don't already) that they can talk to you about anything, and that you won't judge at all. Women esp. need someone who they can "vent" to without that person trying to "fix it", just listen, if thier day sucked say you understand, if thier day was great be happy for them, your friend needs to know that even if they have a "the world would be better without me day" that they can talk to you about it, it means everything to have someone who you can tell anything (I have a feeling this person already knows that, but you might want to remind them)

she knows, and i will always be there for her... and she can (and does) talk about anything...

thanks for being here, letting me be all messed up and sad, listening to me and trying to sort out the bunch of crap i type out and helping me find something to do
...
you do help me please see that you have no idea how bad i'd be if i didnt have your support and love
...
thank you so much for being here - i really cant say how much i appreciate it or how much it helps


more contact is better but, you can help even if you aren't always around, the feelings usually won't come on all at once, it's more like rolling down a hill than driving off a cliff, if you see downward movement then it's time to act.

I have no idea how things are in the UK, the doctors here in the US need all the appointments they can to pay thier malpractice insurance, so they are quite happy to see us, even if they don't really "need to", once one even billed me for calling his office:rolleyes:
hehe well thats possibly a mixed blessing of having a socialised health service :P

but i can totally understand the rolling down a hill as opposed to driving off a cliff thing. i likened it to a snowball tonght as it happens. i'm trying to help her now because i can see that hill getting steeper and the snowball picking up mass and momentum if things continue as they are... and what makes it worse (for me) is that i still can't help. whatever i do, i can't help, i can't seem to stave off what i see as her getting worse no matter how hard i try. i could - and would - get in my car and go be with her if it were possible, even now at bloody 1 in the morning (i'd need coffee...), but its not possible and i can't however much i'd like to :(

sorry, *i* need to vent now... though as i said this thread is helping cos i feel less sick to my stomach now

Someone I know well has had to take anti-depressants, and there were noticable personality changes, essentially turning said individual from depressive to manic, and quite annoying. The pre-existing neurotic behaviour was also amplified. I had to concentrate on other stuff at the time, and was glad I did not have to see them for extended periods.

Problem seems to be sorted(ish), the key was coming off the stuff very gradually, over an extended holiday period with no pressures. Make sure whoever it is doesn't use them for long, and doesn't stop using them abruptly, their body will not like that. Give it a year max and use that time to make constructive changes to lifestyle and personal philosophy.

And no offense to anyone, but taking stuff like that as a matter of routine gives me the creeps. In the long run they are no substitute, nor a helping hand for that matter, for dealing with your own problems.

Antidepressants are really relatively simple. They change the chemicals in your brain, or rather they change the amounts of certain chemicals. I have been on antidepressants, and my current girlfiend is on them. They in no way change who you are, or anything like that. What they do is make you not be depressed. You aren't some zombie, far from it, someone who is depressed is far more zombie-like than a normal person and the drugs help you feel normal. There are side effects, the most common of which are weight gain, irregularity in sleep, and a decreased sex drive. Often people don't respond to one kind of antidepressants, in which case you shouldn't give up. Just try another type to see if it will work. Once a person finds a medication that works well for them they will seem like a different person, but that is just because they are no longer under the heavy burden of depression. I would suggest therapy in conjunction with the medication, but the medication alone works quite well usually. One thing to remember though, depression is a disease. Often therapy alone is enough to deal with it, other times it isn't. Just like bed rest can cure you of a disease sometimes, but others you need medication. With actual depression "working through your problems," or "just dealing with it" are not options. So suggest therapy and if necessary medication, but never act like it isn't serious.

I've been taking anitdepressants for at least 15 years.

They got me through law school, a high profile clerkship, and a very high paying job.

My only regret is the current cocktail I am on isn't strong enough to defeat my current bout of depression and anxiety. Sometimes you have to try different meds or combinations of meds to find the right mix.
but isn't that being dependent on the drugs?
i know thats something i wouldn't want, and i don't think she would either

(sorry, i don't mean to knock what works for you, but if i'd wanted to stay dependent on drugs to be happy i'd have just kept drinking and smoking pot all day every day...)


You've already gotten lots of good feedback.

I'll say one more thing. If your friend has clinical depression, you stand a better chance of losing her if she doesn't try medication.

Medication for illness is a good thing.
i know that... but i just see the meds as a last resort and, like LG says, maybe there are other methods that could work and are worth trying more thoroughly first. maybe other methods are more permanent and long-term solutions

much as the thought of meds doesn't scare me any more, i'm still not convinced that they're a wonder-cure. learning to control your own mind is still the only way imho (hopefully i can help her do that, and hopefully that book will help too (thanks smunkee :)). if drugs make it easier for you to do that on an even-keel, then thats great, but if they just hide the truth of your thoughts and emotions from you, then they don't help any more than hiding behind 'non-prescription' drugs did me

learning to control your own mind is still the only way imho (hopefully i can help her do that, and hopefully that book will help too (thanks smunkee :)). if drugs make it easier for you to do that on an even-keel, then thats great, but if they just hide the truth of your thoughts and emotions from you, then they don't help any more than hiding behind 'non-prescription' drugs did me

I'm sorry but you obviously don't really understand depression. Saying that learning to control your own mind is the only way to get better is much like claiming that learning to control your body is the only way to survive cancer. It just doesn't work like that. Real, long term depression usually stems from a chemical imbalance in the brain, it's not something that you can just will away. If therapy has been tried and not worked on it's own drugs are the only thing that can help. One thing to look for is if there is depression in your friends family, there is evidence that it is a hereditary thing, if it isn't in the family then it may be something that can be solved without drugs. I'm not saying that drugs are the only way, but sometimes they are necessary and often they are the only option.

My Advice:

Smoke Some Pot.

The last time I was on behavioral modification pills (Against my will I might add due to my very young age.) I was 20 pounds underweight and nearly would of died of plain old anoerxia, it's not that I was suppresing my appetite, oh no, it's that I didn't have one at all to act upon, so just a word of warning. That might only apply to depressents though.....

I'm sorry but you obviously don't really understand depression. Saying that learning to control your own mind is the only way to get better is much like claiming that learning to control your body is the only way to survive cancer. It just doesn't work like that. Real, long term depression usually stems from a chemical imbalance in the brain, it's not something that you can just will away. If therapy has been tried and not worked on it's own drugs are the only thing that can help. One thing to look for is if there is depression in your friends family, there is evidence that it is a hereditary thing, if it isn't in the family then it may be something that can be solved without drugs. I'm not saying that drugs are the only way, but sometimes they are necessary and often they are the only option.
i say thats the only true long term solution because i've had clinical depression, i've attempted suicide because of it, its fucked up my life entirely and made me wish i were dead every day for roughly 3 years of my life. i say its the only way of attaining a long term fix because it helped me (and all i know for sure is my own experience in life) - learning how to control my emotions, knowing how to switich off those emotions that lead to depressional spells, controlling the thoughts that i know lead to those emotions... think of it as being able to control and stop the cascade effect that happens in your brain when these emotions surface. if you can cut the emotion off at its source and stop if fron snowballing and taking hold of you - stop it from developing into a depressional episode by knowing what thoughts and feelings are your triggers - then you can stop yourself sliding into depression without using drugs.

that is what i have found, and i can tell you it works for me. the depression is still there under the surface, i suppose, but learning how to keep it there has made me a much happier person.

don't go telling me i don't understand depression, please. you don't know me.

My Advice:

Smoke Some Pot.
thats some pretty awful advice right there. did you even read my OP? :rolleyes:

Although, I no longer work in the mental health field; I did for many years. I did not prescribe meds but I did see there effects on people. Anti-depressents are the among the safest medications on the market today. I think your friend is safe if s/he follows her/his Dr's advise very closely.

Although, I no longer work in the mental health field; I did for many years. I did not prescribe meds but I did see there effects on people. Anti-depressents are the among the safest medications on the market today. I think your friend is safe if s/he follows her/his Dr's advise very closely.
its good to know. thank you :)

i will get off her back about it and support her whatver she chooses to do (which i would have done anyway, but you know...)

hey PM, do you remember that thing I told you about positive thinking a while back? maybe you could help your friend make a list of positive thoughts about themselves to say out loud everyday. I know it's basically for self esteem, but it's hard to be suicidal if you like yourself. It's worth a try, and it could be fun, make them smile a little even. There are things on my list from the serious (I am honest, I am a good friend) to the silly, but still true (I cook the best grilled cheeses ever, I do the best shower version of Rogers and Hammerstien's Cinderella on the block)

hey PM, do you remember that thing I told you about positive thinking a while back? maybe you could help your friend make a list of positive thoughts about themselves to say out loud everyday. I know it's basically for self esteem, but it's hard to be suicidal if you like yourself. It's worth a try, and it could be fun, make them smile a little even. There are things on my list from the serious (I am honest, I am a good friend) to the silly, but still true (I cook the best grilled cheeses ever, I do the best shower version of Rogers and Hammerstien's Cinderella on the block)
lol :P
well thats the thing with her apparent disconnection between thoughts and emotions: she likes herself and isn't suicidal at the moment. or so she says - i have to take her word for it but i trust her to not lie or fob me off about that.
and i do frequently tell her the many, many things i love about her... i try and let her know every day what an amazing person she is and why she's so special to me... so if that doesn't help boost her self-esteem i don't know what will! ;)
(j/k... self-esteem has to come from within, i know, but it can't hurt, and it certainly does get her smiling :fluffle: )
but making that kind of list still strikes me as superficial... but then i'm cynical and its like magic: if i know how it works or is supposed to work, it stops working... but if it worked for you thats great and i don't see why we can't give it a try :)

If at some point you are talking to your friend and you become concerned that she is suicidual just ask her a few simple question:

Are you thinking about hurting yourself? (If the answer is yes, ask the next question)

How would you hurt yourself? Or. Do you have a plan to hurt yourself? (If the answer is yes ask the next question.)

When are you going to hurt yourself?

Where would you hurt yourself?

If your friend has answers to these questions you should make her sign a contract with you that she won't do anything to hurt herself for 24 hrs. Then you need to contact someone and inform them of her suicidual ideation and plan. The important part is the plan. Call a crisis line if one is available in your area. Call her Dr. Call the ER. But find her the help she needs.

If she has answers to these questions she should not be left alone, if at all possible.

lol :P
well thats the thing with her apparent disconnection between thoughts and emotions: she likes herself and isn't suicidal at the moment. or so she says - i have to take her word for it but i trust her to not lie or fob me off about that.
and i do frequently tell her the many, many things i love about her... i try and let her know every day what an amazing person she is and why she's so special to me... so if that doesn't help boost her self-esteem i don't know what will! ;)
(j/k... self-esteem has to come from within, i know, but it can't hurt, and it certainly does get her smiling :fluffle: )
but making that kind of list still strikes me as superficial... but then i'm cynical and its like magic: if i know how it works or is supposed to work, it stops working... but if it worked for you thats great and i don't see why we can't give it a try :)
yeah, it's not a cure for depression, but it might help her on a bad day. There is something to be said for saying them out loud to yourself, it's more of an affirmation. It might not help, but making the list could be a good way to escape from the depression for a few minutes, I add something to my list whenever I can, it's about 3,600 items long now. It's hard to have a "I hate myself day" when you have 12 pages of good things about yourself (but, alas I still have them, just not as often as before)

Every AD effects the user differently.

While I have never been Goth depressed, I do have stress related chronic depression (hard to avoid with a BiPolar spouse).

I have been on and off low levels of antidepressants for around 10 years. They have not changed my persona in any real objective sense, but subjectively when I am on the ADs I can think more clearly and focus on life - things aren't a wash of grey.

I've taken Prozac, Paxil and Lexapro. Prozac was useless for me. Low doses of Lexapro work the best.

Paxil is interesting. While not a huge deal for me, many men get all kinds of depressed over Performance issues, which becomes a really vicious cycle. Paxil has an interesting side effect which is rapidly becoming an "off-list" prescribed use in the US. The way the (fluxotine?) SSRI affects many people is to delay orgasam - i.e. Joe Quickshooter suddenly can go Long Time. This enhances self esteem and reduces the depression beyond what is really attributable to the increase in seritonin.

Anyway, don't sweat it. If the depression is stress related, long-term treatment mignt not be necessary, however, if it is, it's not the end of the world, whereas going untreated can be.

i, myself, used narcotics and alcohol to "help" with my depression the last few years...

Using alcohol to cope with depression is a bad idea. Alchohol acts as a depressant. It's just not a good idea, trust me.

please, any experience or reassurance or just anything would be a great help right now. i'm just worried about my friend

I was on Prozac for a brief time over ten years ago (I don't remember the exact dates). In my case, I think some kind of alternative to drugs would have been a better choice, but that was the only option available at the time (because of financial reasons). At any rate, I don't think it had any long-term side effects once I stopped taking it. I've never needed it since.

But like I said, that was my case. I don't know anything about your friend's case, so please don't take my experience as any kind of argument for/against medication. If your friend is anywhere near the place I was in back then, the last thing you want to do is cut off options.

but isn't that being dependent on the drugs?
i know thats something i wouldn't want, and i don't think she would either

(sorry, i don't mean to knock what works for you, but if i'd wanted to stay dependent on drugs to be happy i'd have just kept drinking and smoking pot all day every day...)

1. My type of long-term depression is rare. Most people need only take medication for relatively short periods.

2. I am no more "dependent" on the drugs than those with other conditions. I certainly am not as dependent as some are on insulin.

3. Drinking and smoking pot are not the same as prescription pharmaceuticals.

i know that... but i just see the meds as a last resort and, like LG says, maybe there are other methods that could work and are worth trying more thoroughly first. maybe other methods are more permanent and long-term solutions

much as the thought of meds doesn't scare me any more, i'm still not convinced that they're a wonder-cure. learning to control your own mind is still the only way imho (hopefully i can help her do that, and hopefully that book will help too (thanks smunkee :)). if drugs make it easier for you to do that on an even-keel, then thats great, but if they just hide the truth of your thoughts and emotions from you, then they don't help any more than hiding behind 'non-prescription' drugs did me


1. You'll have to explain to me why taking vitamins or "herbal supplements" is good, but taking proven medication is bad.

2. Medication can be permanent or long-term or both.

3. Medication can be a wonder cure.

4. If you want to try the controlling your mind route, the greatest resources are David D. Burns's Feeling Good (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0380810336/104-9968093-3723102?v=glance&n=283155) and The Feeling Good Handbook (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452281326/104-9968093-3723102?v=glance&n=283155). (See also this link (http://www.feelinggood.com/).)

5. There is nothing inconsistent about cognitive behavioral therapy (learning to control your mind) and taking medication.

6. Most anti-depressants are not about suppressing your thoughts or emotions. They are about changing certain misfunctioning chemicals in your brain. They don't change who you are. They return you to the real you.

I think it all depends on what's causing her depression: if it's situational, chemical, or both. It also depends on what type of depression that she has, and also what drug she's on.
I've heard that therapy can change the chemicals in the brain as much as antidepressants can, but most people don't have the time or the money to have therapy everyday.
I'm on Paxil right now, though I don't take it as often as I should. There are side effects of it, but they aren't awful. It makes me tired, so I try to take it before I'm going to go to bed. There's also this weird feeling that I get which seems to be similar to hypoglycemia, as a result of the feeling I eat something and feel better. Those are really the only two side effects that I can think of.
My type of depression doesn't just involve thoughts, I don't know how to explain it but it seems like I can feel it physically. I'm pretty sure it's chemical and not situational, as depression and bipolar disorder runs in the family (I haven't been diagnosed as bipolar, but it's concenceivable that it hasn't manifested itself yet.) I do have to admit that my situation has improved and so has my mood, so my situation might have had something to do with it, but it's not a result of everything as I still get depressed sometimes.
Anyway, that's my take on it: antidepressants can help, and probably will, with the right one.

I am no more "dependent" on the drugs than those with other conditions. I certainly am not as dependent as some are on insulin.That's the exact comparison my mother used when I told her I didn't want to be dependant on the antidepressants: it's medicine in the exact same way that insulin is for a diabetic.

thanks for your views and advice people. i'm not going to do specific replies to people now cos partly there are too many, and also i can't deal with thinking about her being depressed just now - thought about it enough last night :(

but Cat-Tribe, i honestly wasn't trying to belittle what works for you. maybe you have dysthymia or something, and the insulin allegory does make sense. when i said other forms of treatment, i wasn't specifically going with what LG said, but was referring to cognitive behavioral therapy... but then she's been through some of that and it helped her to learn to control her thoughts. i'm suggesting she learns to control her emotions like i seem to, to some degree.
i don't know, i don't have all the answers or a complete road-map to her brain, her thoughts and her feelings and her history. i wish i did cos i could help better, but seeing how i don't all i can do is love her, support her, and offer advice from my own experience and what works for me.

I don't know how to explain it but it seems like I can feel it physically.
could you expand on this? she does feel ill quite a lot.

Tell her not to, as she won't be able to drink alcohol.

someone i know is considering resorting to antidepressants and medication for clinical depression. someone i care about and wish i could help so they didn't have to use them. but i can't. :(
...snip..

but i'm wondering if anyone here has experience of usining antidepressants and what they did, how they affected you,:(


Ive been on 4 different kinds of anti-depressants.
The benefit of them is that they do help a little.
They take the "edge" off so to speak.

They arent going to make her suicidal.
The types of drugs they are are called Seratonin Re-uptake Inhibitors.
They include Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Welbutrin, Celexa...etc.

Let me tell you a little about how they work.

Seratonin is a chemical that is released during moments of pleasure.
The more of it floating around...the happier you tend to be.
When stressed, or unhappy, Seratonin is reabsorbed by the brain.
The drugs reduce the amount of seratonin that is reabsorbed by the brain.

So..they keep the brain moist with happy juice.
This does not mean any kind of buzz-like euophoria, just a more pleasant mood.

However, there are side effects, that vary depending on the brand of the drug.

Sexual side effects.
The sex drive for males tends to reduce depending from maale to male.
Some women say it actually increased thiers.

Sleepyness/drowzy.

Digestive difficulties.
The squirts.
No fun.

Theres a few others, but those are most common.

Ive had a couple, that were never mentioned, if you wanna know more.

The important thing about them is this:

They arent a "fix it pill". It wont transform anyone into a happy person, or intsantly change them.
In fact, they take six weeks to kick in, and the person must take them everyday to start seeing the effects.
When they do kick in, its sublte, but you just feel a bit better.
The catch is, they dont solve anything.
They dont take away the problem, they just make it easier to cope with.

I decided to stop taking them altogther, becuase the benefits didnt outweigh the side effects.
Withdrawal from them can sometimes be a bit unplesant, as well.

And no offense to anyone, but taking stuff like that as a matter of routine gives me the creeps. In the long run they are no substitute, nor a helping hand for that matter, for dealing with your own problems.


On the contrary, depending on the person, they can be a significant helping hand.
The important thing, is that they will not "cure" anyone.

When used in comination with the right therapy, they can often be "just enough" to get one by.

As I said in my previous post, I for one, simply decided I didnt need them.
Other people are benefitted greatly by them.
However, I believe just as many, are often over-prescribed by doctors.
In the American medical system, there isnt a condition that exists, that they arent willing to throw a pill at.

Tell her not to, as she won't be able to drink alcohol.
she doesn't drink. and neither do i any more.


if anything this thread (and the last couple of days... i honestly thought she was getting better :() have at the very least helped me to understand how my parents felt when i was talking to them about my depression last year. how utterly helpless and pained you feel wanting to help someone you love but physically can't help :(

all the harder when you've been through it yourself and you understand what its like.


though reading through this thread i start to question my own depression. my ability to seemingly control my emotions (to an extent... i slip up still and i can't control all my emotions at all - just stop certain feelings i know will snowball) leads me to question the extent of my depression. was i really depressed at all? i think i was. but its shit and quite painful to think that i wasn't. i took a fair few drugs in that time - pot 24/7, drinking usually from the afternoon, ecstacy, shrooms (stupid, stupid idea when depressed), and i probably would have done smack had i had the chance, i just took what was readily available to escape - and because of those i can't really remember most of those 2 years of my life. its all a big, hazy blur because i escaped into the drugs like that to get away from it. i can't remember all that much from when i was 'sober' so its sometimes hard for me to relate to the depth of depression because of my relative success escaping it. but there's still a big question-mark over it all.
small rant there but there you go; thats also making me feel pretty bad right now

Let me tell you a little about how they work.

Seratonin is a chemical that is released during moments of pleasure.
The more of it floating around...the happier you tend to be.
When stressed, or unhappy, Seratonin is reabsorbed by the brain.
The drugs reduce the amount of seratonin that is reabsorbed by the brain.

So..they keep the brain moist with happy juice.
This does not mean any kind of buzz-like euophoria, just a more pleasant mood.


yeah i get how they work... good article here i think http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro99/web3/Ho.html


Some women say it actually increased thiers.

:eek: uh-oh... she's pretty 'frisky' as it is :p

They arent a "fix it pill". It wont transform anyone into a happy person, or intsantly change them.
In fact, they take six weeks to kick in, and the person must take them everyday to start seeing the effects.
When they do kick in, its sublte, but you just feel a bit better.
The catch is, they dont solve anything.
They dont take away the problem, they just make it easier to cope with.
hmm yeah, i don't know if she realises that. from my understanding and observations of what she's said, she thinks therapy is a waste of time and the pills will act as a last resort to cure her. either that or give her enough of a period of calm waters to sort things out herself.
i don't know, there are mixed signals and i know she's confused and conflicted and worried herself. here in the UK, at least, antidepressants are not overprescribed (unlike what someone said in this thread for the states) and its actually quite difficult to find an actual psychiatrist (or so i understand/have found myself... they just put me in touch with councelling and i didn't bother to chase it up... another reason to doubt my own depression :headbang: )
i just wish it wasn't so hard for her :(

Someone I know well has had to take anti-depressants, and there were noticable personality changes, essentially turning said individual from depressive to manic, and quite annoying. The pre-existing neurotic behaviour was also amplified. I had to concentrate on other stuff at the time, and was glad I did not have to see them for extended periods.

Problem seems to be sorted(ish), the key was coming off the stuff very gradually, over an extended holiday period with no pressures.Your friend must have had a very unusual reaction; I've never experienced anything like this (people have only ever told me I've been a happier version of me), nor have any of the many other people I've met who've taken anti-depressants (quite a few thereof). She should have gone back to the doctor and got her medication changed, as not all drugs are completely compatible with every person's individual constitution.

Make sure whoever it is doesn't use them for long, and doesn't stop using them abruptly, their body will not like that. Give it a year max and use that time to make constructive changes to lifestyle and personal philosophy.Lifestyle and personal philosophy may help maintain depression, which is why things like CBT help some people, but they're usually more a symptom than a cause of depression. As someone else said, it depends whether the depression is caused by circumstances or if it's 'just one of those things' (ie. chemical). If the latter, an arbitary cut-off point as per your suggestion probably isn't helpful (though I agree noboady should just come off the medication).

Some people, especially those with situational depression, can come off tablets within a fairly short period. For others, however, it is not as black-and-white as this. Regardless, use of and weaning off anti-depressants should be done under the regular supervision of a GP or psychiatrist.

And no offense to anyone, but taking stuff like that as a matter of routine gives me the creeps. In the long run they are no substitute, nor a helping hand for that matter, for dealing with your own problems.Not taking stuff like that when you're suicidal and chronically depressed gives me the creeps, especially if you've tried other therapies to no avail. I really don't understand what the big deal about anti-depressants is when people take drugs for other conditions over long periods. Depression is not necessarily caused by "your own problems", unless in that statement you include an imbalance of cerebral chemicals. In that way it's a physical matter just like any other illness.

I really don't understand what the big deal about anti-depressants is when people take drugs for other conditions over long periods.
they mess with your mind, your behaviour and your thoughts and feelings. they're designed to mess with your head, and then there's the whole thing with side-effects and the unpredictability of what a certain drug might do.

taking a paracetamol doesn't alter your brain chemistry in the same sort of way. yes, both drugs do alter brain chemistry but its the areas of the brain that are affected - and indeed the intended change/effect the drug is going for - that sets them apart and gives me the creeps about antidepressants.

but then this thread has helped with that.

could you expand on this? she does feel ill quite a lot.It's not exactly illness...it's more as though everything in my chest has been pushed outward and there's a hole there...and I can actually feel the hole. It's weird, I know.

hmm yeah, i don't know if she realises that. from my understanding and observations of what she's said, she thinks therapy is a waste of time and the pills will act as a last resort to cure her. either that or give her enough of a period of calm waters to sort things out herself.
i don't know, there are mixed signals and i know she's confused and conflicted and worried herself. here in the UK, at least, antidepressants are not overprescribed (unlike what someone said in this thread for the states) and its actually quite difficult to find an actual psychiatrist (or so i understand/have found myself... they just put me in touch with councelling and i didn't bother to chase it up... another reason to doubt my own depression :headbang: )
i just wish it wasn't so hard for her :(


Yah, as I said, the pills most assuredly wont "cure" her.
They will just make life not so fucking miserable all the time.
Therapy is only a waste of time, if the person goes into it, with that kind of attitude.
If she doesnt want therapy, it wont do her any good.

The upside, is that maybe in her case, the pils will be enough to get her by for a while, make things just easy enough to cope with.
They wont solve the things that are causing the depression.

They can have wierd effects that either they dont tell you about, or were isolated intsances with just me.
Once, after six weeks of taking one of them for the first time, I was drving around, and suddenly, just started laughing near hysterically, for no apparent reason.
It didnt happen again, and wasnt scary...just weird.

The other one was the withdrawals from them.
After I decided not to take em anymore, I was on Celexa at the time, three days after the last pill, I would get "brain zaps"..or at least, thats what I call em..I dont know if theres an actual medical explanation.

They were kinda like this..imagine reading a speech, and someone occasionaly zaps you in the brain with a small fairly low-voltage cattle prod.

"Four score and seven years ago, *zot!* Our Forefathers brought forth a new nation, *zot* conceived in liberty......"

Weird.

Ran out of the drug a coupla times, and they happened then too.

After seeing a lot of posts and reading through most of the thread...here´s my advice: Currently I´m working as a GP/medical head of department in a rehabilitation facility for psychosomatic/psychic disorders (so far for credits). If your friend has a true case of clinical depression he/she will need both medical and therapeutical help. There are thousands of medicaments, one of which should be suited for her/him, but it may be a long way in finding, but treating depression is a long-time appointment in itself. There is no way to "cure" depression, but in some cases it lessens with aging. Not treating depression results in an overall higher rate of suicides.

I hope I could help you, TG me if you want more or personal advice

The other one was the withdrawals from them.
After I decided not to take em anymore, I was on Celexa at the time, three days after the last pill, I would get "brain zaps"..or at least, thats what I call em..I dont know if theres an actual medical explanation.

They were kinda like this..imagine reading a speech, and someone occasionaly zaps you in the brain with a small fairly low-voltage cattle prod.

"Four score and seven years ago, *zot!* Our Forefathers brought forth a new nation, *zot* conceived in liberty......"

Weird.

Ran out of the drug a coupla times, and they happened then too.I know exactly what you mean about the brain zaps, when I've run out and couldn't get more soon enough I had that, too.

I know exactly what you mean about the brain zaps, when I've run out and couldn't get more soon enough I had that, too.


whew...I thought I was either, the only one..or crazy.

Whoohoo for sanity!

whew...I thought I was either, the only one..or crazy.

Whoohoo for sanity!Unless we're both crazy ;)

Unless we're both crazy ;)


Heh..what're the odds?

50/50?

Hi Pure Metal,
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and I'm sure that she appreciates how much you care for her.
I've been on a very old tri-cyclic drug amitriptyline since about 1998. Prior to that I tried prozac and some other fluxotine(sp?) types. As far as it changing me, I suppose it did, i used to feel like my brain was "eating itself" i couldnt sleep, i couldnt go to work or socialise. Now, I am calmer and feel more in control of my emotions but not removed from them. Hope this helps.

they mess with your mind, your behaviour and your thoughts and feelings. they're designed to mess with your head, and then there's the whole thing with side-effects and the unpredictability of what a certain drug might do.I think Smunkee put it well; they didn't change her, depression changed her. They're only designed to 'mess with your head' insofar as restoring a balance, which has in turn an effect on feelings/thoughts etc, is messing with your head.

I can understand people getting freaked out about things like Valium (the days in which it was commonplace being thankfully long-gone), given that it turned many of its users into completely different people. However, modern day anti-depressants do not, as a general rule, turn you into a different person; they merely alleviate a negative aspect that had intruded on you and therefore wasn't part of yourself in the first place.

Obviously, though, it's all highly individual. I've said it before, but I can't stress it enough; any treatment - with drugs or otherwise - should be carried out under close medical supervision. If it does not work as desired, a visit back to the doctor is required to see how to progress from there.

<snip>I can understand people getting freaked out about things like Valium (the days in which it was commonplace being thankfully long-gone), given that it turned many of its users into completely different people. However, modern day anti-depressants do not, as a general rule, turn you into a different person; they merely alleviate a negative aspect that had intruded on you and therefore wasn't part of yourself in the first place.

Obviously, though, it's all highly individual. I've said it before, but I can't stress it enough; any treatment - with drugs or otherwise - should be carried out under close medical supervision. If it does not work as desired, a visit back to the doctor is required to see how to progress from there.

Sadly the valium part is not true, there are millions of people in europe and north america on full or low-dose dependency from "valium" or other family members of that particular drug...otherwise seconded from the first word

Sadly the valium part is not true, there are millions of people in europe and north america on full or low-dose dependency from "valium" or other family members of that particular drug...otherwise seconded from the first wordReally?! Wow. It is only prescribed in the UK for times of extreme stress, such as a sudden, unexpected bereavement, and then they only let you have it for two or three days, tops.

thinking about seratonin and reabsorbtion in the brain... i know i've been saying that learning to control your emotions is a way to 'beat' depression but i have severe doubt in my mind over that now. i mean, i'm happier with my life in that i don't hate myself and i don't slip into the same black moods of despair i used to, and no longer contemplate suicide on a daily basis (if at all)... but i still don't really feel happy. i don't feel any joy or excitement or things like that. sometimes its hard considering life without positive emotion, and that thought brings up some real negative emotions (like despair, fear for the future, hatred of self) but i just block them out, like i've learned to do, and pretend i'm happy. i wonder if that has anything to do with those seratonin levels?

i mean i could be cured of depression on the surface, but only pushing it down and not letting it take over me in reality, with it still there under the surface (like i know it is). if i were truly "cured" it wouldn't come back so often when i slip up on pushing it down, right? maybe i'm not cured at all. maybe i've just gotten good at controlling it. maybe everything i said before about learning to control your mind was just a big load of BS.
i'm sure i don't get much excitement out of things - things that used to be fun or enjoyable. i don't remember the last time i really actually enjoyed myself when i wasn't on drugs. i enjoy talking to my friend (the 'friend' of this thread) immensely and it actually brings me joy to talk to her... but nothing else does. and a life without positive emotion like that isn't normal, i think. maybe it is. maybe i'm just a really boring and dull person.
maybe all this is right and my brain chemistry is still all screwed up... who knows? maybe the doctor could help me rather than just saying "yeah, you're probably clinically depressed. here's some phone numbers of some twats who probably can't help you and who have a massive waiting list anyway"

been thinking about all this. i thought she was getting better. i thought i was helping her. and its crushing to think that she feels as bad as ever and there's nothing i can do.
and what makes it even worse is that i can feel myself starting to resent her for it... yeah, resent her for making me feel bad, for bringing all this up again with me, resent her for not being better... and that just makes me hate myself for it.
and then there's a part of me, a small part admittedly, that doesn't want her to take meds for purely selfish reasons: i want her to get better but what if she changes? what if she goes all manic? what if i love her as she is and she changes somehow from being happier with life? a small part of me doesn't want her to get better because i love her now and i've never known anyone like her, and to lose her like that would be... unbearable. but to lose her to what? lose her to being happy. so there's a part of me that doesn't want her to be happy and my god that makes me sick with myself.
most of me wants her to be happy... all of me wants her to just be happy, all of me bar this tiny bit, but this tiny bit worries me to hell.


ah i'm ranting now. i could rant like this in an email to her or something, but i feel quite good about getting it out in the open. apologies for being all "emo"



edit: the one thing i am sure of is that i don't want her to ever feel like she can't or shouldn't talk to me about these things. to not know and for her to suffer alone would be far, far worse than any fucking selfish, stupid ambivolence or worry i feel from knowing.

someone i know is considering resorting to antidepressants and medication for clinical depression. someone i care about and wish i could help so they didn't have to use them. but i can't. :(

but i'm wondering if anyone here has experience of usining antidepressants and what they did, how they affected you, if they helped, if they changed you in any way or did they just magically make things better? did they just hide the depression and make you think you were better while you were on them? just tell me anything.

and please don't be too heavy... be tactful, cos i'm upset as fuck right now :(



i, myself, used narcotics and alcohol to "help" with my depression the last few years, but i know for sure they didn't help and all they did was to alter my mood and not truly help with the depression. that only came once i was off the drugs and able to get to grips with my mind, in the company and support of loved ones, and learn how to control my thoughts and emotions myself. i'm still no vulcan and the depression is still there, but i can categorically say the drugs did nothing for me but continue my illness. i hope that prescription medical antidepressants are better than that, but i still don't trust them.

please, any experience or reassurance or just anything would be a great help right now. i'm just worried about my friend :(

Prozac has worked for me and everyone that I know that has taken it.

Paxil will screw you up.

Wellbutrin doesn't work.

Your mileage may vary.

Really?! Wow. It is only prescribed in the UK for times of extreme stress, such as a sudden, unexpected bereavement, and then they only let you have it for two or three days, tops.

In germany it is still in wide circulation, drug addicts use it to take the edge out of withdrawal and enough doctors still prescribe it because treating a benzodiazepine (drug family) dependency is much more difficult to treat than simply filling a prescription...in fact it´s more difficult than treating heroin-dependency

Sorry PM, no hijack intended. Has your friend made up her mind what to do?

Well, you have find the one that works. Each person has different biology and what works for one person does not work necessarily work for another. The side-effects of these anti-depressants is not nice reading.

Sorry PM, no hijack intended. Has your friend made up her mind what to do?
no worries... any info is useful

and no she hasn't i should think. won't get to talk to her for a few hours now but i doubt that she'll have made the decision already... it might take her some time (not just to make the decision personally but also to get her family's help to actually get the meds)

no worries... any info is useful

and no she hasn't i should think. won't get to talk to her for a few hours now but i doubt that she'll have made the decision already... it might take her some time (not just to make the decision personally but also to get her family's help to actually get the meds)

Well good luck then...it´s very honorable of you. As said above, TG if you need medical or other advice. Takes a good friend to do what you are doing...

Well good luck then...it´s very honorable of you. As said above, TG if you need medical or other advice. Takes a good friend to do what you are doing...
well i don't have any specific questions just at the moment, but i might take you up on that offer in due course. thanks :)

well i don't have any specific questions just at the moment, but i might take you up on that offer in due course. thanks :)

Your welcome :)

I've been on them for three years, and my problem is I seem to build up a tolerance. I've been switched several times. I tried to commit suicide when one of them stopped working. I'm pretty much resigned to being depressed for the rest of my life.

I've been on them for three years, and my problem is I seem to build up a tolerance. I've been switched several times. I tried to commit suicide when one of them stopped working. I'm pretty much resigned to being depressed for the rest of my life.
I used to go through that too, my doctor ended up having to put me on an old style SSRI, the ones now are "extended release" so they are supposed to be one pill for all day, but my levels would get screwy, so he put me on the same thing (same total mg. a day) but I had to take 4 pills throughout the day instead of 1 in the morning, it really fixed stuff. It's true though that you can't just take the meds and expect them to "fix" you, you have to go through therepy or something too, some people (like my mom) will have to be on pills and have therepy for the rest of thier lives.(of course she is actually bipolar, but her doctors didn't realize that for a while, they thought she was just depressed)

I used to go through that too, my doctor ended up having to put me on an old style SSRI, the ones now are "extended release" so they are supposed to be one pill for all day, but my levels would get screwy, so he put me on the same thing (same total mg. a day) but I had to take 4 pills throughout the day instead of 1 in the morning, it really fixed stuff. It's true though that you can't just take the meds and expect them to "fix" you, you have to go through therepy or something too, some people (like my mom) will have to be on pills and have therepy for the rest of thier lives.(of course she is actually bipolar, but her doctors didn't realize that for a while, they thought she was just depressed)


If you are severely bipolar, or have borderline personality disorder, you're just screwed to the wall.

someone i know is considering resorting to antidepressants and medication for clinical depression. someone i care about and wish i could help so they didn't have to use them. but i can't. :(

but i'm wondering if anyone here has experience of usining antidepressants and what they did, how they affected you, if they helped, if they changed you in any way or did they just magically make things better? did they just hide the depression and make you think you were better while you were on them? just tell me anything.

and please don't be too heavy... be tactful, cos i'm upset as fuck right now :(



i, myself, used narcotics and alcohol to "help" with my depression the last few years, but i know for sure they didn't help and all they did was to alter my mood and not truly help with the depression. that only came once i was off the drugs and able to get to grips with my mind, in the company and support of loved ones, and learn how to control my thoughts and emotions myself. i'm still no vulcan and the depression is still there, but i can categorically say the drugs did nothing for me but continue my illness. i hope that prescription medical antidepressants are better than that, but i still don't trust them.

please, any experience or reassurance or just anything would be a great help right now. i'm just worried about my friend :(

I began taking medication for clinical depression after my freshman year in college. I have used Celexa for several years now, and I am absolutely satisfied with the results.

The medication does not make me "feel different." It doesn't make me feel happy all the time. I don't feel "high." I don't feel perfect. And it certainly didn't fix all the problems that I was having. It did not turn me into a zombie, or make me into Miss Merry Sunshine.

What it did do is it helped me get some control over myself. Before, I could not allow myself to experience any sadness or pain, because if I felt any tiny piece of negative emotion I would spiral out of control into a wild tailspin of depression. I had to shut myself down, mentally, just to be able to function.

With the medication, I can feel sad. I can feel angry, or hurt, or lonely, or just bummed out. I can experience those feelings without them taking over every part of my consciousness. I can feel happy, too, and hopeful and silly and grumpy and kooky, and anything else I like, because I don't have to worry about the feelings taking over me.

Antidepressants, when used correctly and safely, should almost NEVER cause a person to feel like they are high, or a zombie, or like they are a totally different person. If you, or a friend, feel like that when you take medication, you should tell your doctor RIGHT AWAY. You shouldn't feel like you are doping yourself up to feel jolly.

If you are severely bipolar, or have borderline personality disorder, you're just screwed to the wall.
I am not, the only manic episode I have had was on Celexa, but to be bipolar you have to have a manic episode off meds , we are keeping an eye on it though. Being bipolar isn't so bad if you stay on your meds (that is after you find a good set of meds), my big problem is my aunt who is a sociopath.....she has problems.

I am not, the only manic episode I have had was on Celexa, but to be bipolar you have to have a manic episode off meds to be bipolar, we are keeping an eye on it though. Being bipolar isn't so bad if you stay on your meds (that is after you find a good set of meds), my big problem is my aunt who is a sociopath.....she has problems.

"Severe" as in "too severe to be controlled by meds".

I've seen people that bad - I've also seen psychiatrists refuse to accept them as patients, because they think it's impossible to treat if it's not controllable through drugs.

And no offense to anyone, but taking stuff like that as a matter of routine gives me the creeps. In the long run they are no substitute, nor a helping hand for that matter, for dealing with your own problems.
Actually, they are a great help in the long run for many patients. Myself included.

For me, the main help is that I had never NOT been clinically depressed. I didn't know how to be any other way. Therapy wasn't helping me because I couldn't understand how "normal" felt. Medication helped me get a glimpse of what it could be like to not be depressed. It didn't make the problem go away magically, and it's taken a buttload of hard to work to get as far as I have, but I could never have made this much progress without having a sense of my ultimate goal.

And, on a more fundamental level, the drugs are helping to restore a normal chemical state in my brain. SARIs, the type of drug I am currently taking, can kind of help to "teach" a brain how to maintain a more normal state, and I am now able to maintain more normal levels even with very reduced doses of medication.

Everybody has different brain chemistry. Some people will not respond well to this kind of medication. But that doesn't mean it is without merit, or that there are no people who can reap long-term benefits. The best thing to do is to consult with several professionals; an MD can tell you about the medical side, and a PhD therapist can help you address the lifestyle and personal aspects of your problems.

If you are severely bipolar, or have borderline personality disorder, you're just screwed to the wall.Have both, thankyou.

The average person tries 3 anti-depressants before they find one that works well. Some people can get by with just a short term on them, others need long term treatment. Studies show talk therapy coupled with anti-depressants works better than either alone.
There is no one anti-depressant that is "better." Different ones work differently for different people.

PM, if you want to TG me, though I'm not a doctor, I have a lot of experience with this type stuff. I've been a mental health consumer for 20 years.

PM, if you want to TG me, though I'm not a doctor, I have a lot of experience with this type stuff. I've been a mental health consumer for 20 years.
ok i have a question now. how the hell do i know if i should - or would benefit from - talking antidepressants? see my post here for reasoning http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10377559&postcount=58

i mean the doctor was a big fucking help (not) so where do i turn if i feel like i can't cope on my own any more?

ok i have a question now. how the hell do i know if i should - or would benefit from - talking antidepressants? see my post here for reasoning http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10377559&postcount=58

i mean the doctor was a big fucking help (not) so where do i turn if i feel like i can't cope on my own any more?
Honestly, if you feel your doctor was no help then you need a new freaking doctor. In particular, it might be a good idea for you to see a non-MD...go to a PhD therapist for an evaluation. They are usually much less inclined to leap on medication as a quick-fix. They will also be able to give you some alternatives if you feel that you really really don't want to use medication. But they can very easily refer you to medical doctors who they have worked with, and who they know are going to be able to deal with your case in a helpful manner.

Honestly, if you feel your doctor was no help then you need a new freaking doctor. In particular, it might be a good idea for you to see a non-MD...go to a PhD therapist for an evaluation. They are usually much less inclined to leap on medication as a quick-fix. They will also be able to give you some alternatives if you feel that you really really don't want to use medication. But they can very easily refer you to medical doctors who they have worked with, and who they know are going to be able to deal with your case in a helpful manner.
disadvantage of the NHS: you don't really get a choice of doctors. or if you do, i don't know how to go about seeing another one, or changing GP, or asking to see a specialist... everything goes through your GP who then referrs you on to other people.
and the problem is i'm not 'depressed' any more - not like i used to be - but as i said in that post, its still there and its not really going away. maybe meds would help (wow it seems i've been quite won over by this thread and everyone's advice and positive experiences)

bah, i don't know what to do. so, as usual in a situation like this, i'll just end up doing nothing in the hope things will magically get better. right now i feel i just can't cope with things but it is definatley stress-related... its like when things get too stressful i lose the ability to keep a lid on it. and right now i feel i can't cope with my friend being depressed too and won't be much help to her if she needs to talk about things. i just hope she had a good day and feels ok

I was gonna post a thread like this myself...

If people hadn't guessed or didn't know, I'm the friend. Thank you for all your replies, and thank you Huw for making the thread.

I might reply later to explain more about my situation, and explain it from my point of view as well.

disadvantage of the NHS: you don't really get a choice of doctors. or if you do, i don't know how to go about seeing another one, or changing GP, or asking to see a specialist... everything goes through your GP who then referrs you on to other people.

Man, that stinks! I lucked out and got a doctor who completely rocks, and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I was stuck with a jackass for a doctor.


and the problem is i'm not 'depressed' any more - not like i used to be - but as i said in that post, its still there and its not really going away. maybe meds would help (wow it seems i've been quite won over by this thread and everyone's advice and positive experiences)

Generally speaking, if you feel like something is a recurring problem then it's going to be a good idea to see somebody about it. If one of your legs kept having a sharp pain that would come and go, you would want to see a doctor about it, right? Even if the problem isn't constant, you still should try to figure out what might be wrong.

It's also possible that there's a more basic physiological problem at work. There can be thyroid problems, or even minor allergies, that can contribute to depression symptoms. A simple blood test can often identify some of these problems.


bah, i don't know what to do. so, as usual in a situation like this, i'll just end up doing nothing in the hope things will magically get better. right now i feel i just can't cope with things but it is definatley stress-related... its like when things get too stressful i lose the ability to keep a lid on it. and right now i feel i can't cope with my friend being depressed too and won't be much help to her if she needs to talk about things. i just hope she had a good day and feels ok
Therapy is often a better solution for people who have trouble with stress. Sometimes you can figure out ways of coping with stress that will help you feel like life is more managable. It's not sure-fire, and it can feel like it's taking forever, but the payoff can really be worth it.

Of course, again, you have to get a good therapist. If your hands are tied with that, then boy...I don't know what to tell you. That just plain stinks.

disadvantage of the NHS: you don't really get a choice of doctors. or if you do, i don't know how to go about seeing another one, or changing GP, or asking to see a specialist... everything goes through your GP who then referrs you on to other people.You can change doctors, but it can be quite complicated. I'd been meaning to do it for months, but only got around to it yesterday. I don't quite know what the procedure would be in England, but here in NI (for most practices) you have to have ID, proof of where you live and a medical card. Then the new doctors' surgery sends it off to the appropriate civil service department, who then sanction it. It's bureaucracy gone mad :rolleyes:

Unless you're lucky enough to get a really good GP, you have to be very demanding with them. Don't let them fob you off with lines like, "engage in physical exercise" blah blah blah (not that such things don't help, I'm sure, but I doubt in most cases they get to the root of the problem). Arm yourself with information, recommendations etc. They may say that they're the medical professional and not you or something, but it's worth prodding them with ideas (in my experience anyway). Keep harrassing them and going back until they are convinced you're genuine and make some attempt to do something about it. Go to another GP in the practice if needs be; they might have a different attitude.

and the problem is i'm not 'depressed' any more - not like i used to be - but as i said in that post, its still there and its not really going away. maybe meds would help (wow it seems i've been quite won over by this thread and everyone's advice and positive experiences)Yeah, if you're still feeling perpetually disillusioned, that sounds to me like depression (though of course I'm no medic). I came off Prozac for a while, and actually felt OK - I wasn't in the depths of despair or anything. However, I noticed that I was really tired and lethargic all the time, and had absolutely no motivation when it came to university work (problems I didn't have when on Prozac, at least not to anything like that extent). Things like this are symptoms of depression, in my understanding.

Anyway, whatever you both decide to do, I wish you both all the very best in beating the depression.

Actually, I feel like rambling about it now.

I'm not expecting it to be some miracle cure. I'm not expecting my life to become perfect. I really really do dislike the idea of taking medication, for various reasons. But I can't see another option.

When I last had fairly serious depression, it was due to all number of things in my life, an inability to cope with my thoughts, general low confidence and self esteem, generalising, blowing things out of proportion etc etc Therapy helped me loads there, and it still helps me now. It stops me from letting my thoughts go out of control. It stops me thinking I'll always be this way, or that I'm a horrible person.

But the emotions from depression are still here. The huge overwhelming feelings that crash down on you and right now make me feel like I can't last another second feeling like this. I'm not that stressed about school work, have no problems with relationships, am fairly happy with myself, am positive about the future etc etc But that doesn't change a thing. I still feel this unbearable sadness.

And because I feel this way and I can't do anything to change it, the thoughts flood in of "I'm such a mess", "I can't do this", "I can't cope" etc And even when I talk about how I'm feeling and can convince myself I can do this, am not a mess, and will cope... the feelings are still there and it isn't any easier or any less painful.

There aren't any problems in my life that are causing me undue stress or depression. I have flaws, I can accept them. I have people I can talk to openly about it. I don't feel alone or unloved. I can control my thoughts far better than healthy people I know. But I still feel like I can't take another second of feeling like this. Just existing is too hard for me right now. I feel like someone's dropping rocks on my back and expecting me to deal with the weight but I can't - it's only logical that I'd gradually weaken and fall to the floor. And it feels like I'm slowly breaking inside and I can't do a goddamn thing to stop it.

I'm not saying I'm definitly looking at medication. I haven't even talked to the doctor about it yet (have an appointment tomorrow) or found out side-effects or anything. I don't even know if I can get it at this age. But if this could do something, anything, to stop this consuming my life, or make it a tiny bit easier, or prevent me slipping into self-harm or suicidal thinking again, I have to at least consider this.

Huw, you say that it would just be pushing problems under the surface. But 1. I am happy with my life and my situation. Just not these feelings and the effects they have on my life. And 2. The advice you gave me about distracting myself - how is that any different? Medication actually would go to the (suspected) cause of the problem and change my feelings. Your way of just distracting yourself wouldn't even do that, just pushes away the feelings for them to bubble up even worse at another time.

Also related: I am very often ill and exhausted. And I do have relatives who've had depression.

Anyway, if that helps anyone give a better opinion on the best choice for me, then thank you and I really would appreciate hearing what you think. Thanks again for sharing experiences and advice. It really does help.

-snip-
If you feel okay enough now that you aren't going to hurt yourself, you might have your doctor do a complete physical, there are conditions that can cause depression (like thyroid disorders, celiac disease, ect.) and you may find out that you need meds that aren't for depression to fix it, it's worth a try if you feel like you can wait out the test results, if you feel like you might hurt yourself or have a plan, then you need to go to the hospital right away, you may need the help right now. I hope everything works out for you. While they are poking around you might have them do a CBC (complete blood count) I found out that I was so anemic that I was on the verge of needing a blood transplant, that's enough to make someone tired and depressed all the time, life just seemed too hard, I liked my life, but it felt like I was dragging all the time. I got medical treatment and started to feel better. ;)

Actually, I feel like rambling about it now.

I'm not expecting it to be some miracle cure. I'm not expecting my life to become perfect. I really really do dislike the idea of taking medication, for various reasons. But I can't see another option.

When I last had fairly serious depression, it was due to all number of things in my life, an inability to cope with my thoughts, general low confidence and self esteem, generalising, blowing things out of proportion etc etc Therapy helped me loads there, and it still helps me now. It stops me from letting my thoughts go out of control. It stops me thinking I'll always be this way, or that I'm a horrible person.

But the emotions from depression are still here. The huge overwhelming feelings that crash down on you and right now make me feel like I can't last another second feeling like this. I'm not that stressed about school work, have no problems with relationships, am fairly happy with myself, am positive about the future etc etc But that doesn't change a thing. I still feel this unbearable sadness.

And because I feel this way and I can't do anything to change it, the thoughts flood in of "I'm such a mess", "I can't do this", "I can't cope" etc And even when I talk about how I'm feeling and can convince myself I can do this, am not a mess, and will cope... the feelings are still there and it isn't any easier or any less painful.

There aren't any problems in my life that are causing me undue stress or depression. I have flaws, I can accept them. I have people I can talk to openly about it. I don't feel alone or unloved. I can control my thoughts far better than healthy people I know. But I still feel like I can't take another second of feeling like this. Just existing is too hard for me right now. I feel like someone's dropping rocks on my back and expecting me to deal with the weight but I can't - it's only logical that I'd gradually weaken and fall to the floor. And it feels like I'm slowly breaking inside and I can't do a goddamn thing to stop it.

I'm not saying I'm definitly looking at medication. I haven't even talked to the doctor about it yet (have an appointment tomorrow) or found out side-effects or anything. I don't even know if I can get it at this age. But if this could do something, anything, to stop this consuming my life, or make it a tiny bit easier, or prevent me slipping into self-harm or suicidal thinking again, I have to at least consider this.

Huw, you say that it would just be pushing problems under the surface. But 1. I am happy with my life and my situation. Just not these feelings and the effects they have on my life. And 2. The advice you gave me about distracting myself - how is that any different? Medication actually would go to the (suspected) cause of the problem and change my feelings. Your way of just distracting yourself wouldn't even do that, just pushes away the feelings for them to bubble up even worse at another time.

Also related: I am very often ill and exhausted. And I do have relatives who've had depression.

Anyway, if that helps anyone give a better opinion on the best choice for me, then thank you and I really would appreciate hearing what you think. Thanks again for sharing experiences and advice. It really does help.
i know, you're right. its taken me today and last night and some real self-evaluation to realise it, but you're right and i know i'm not doing myself any good either. i'm so sorry for that, and for what you're going through :( :(

i love you and as i keep saying, i wish there were a way for me to make it all better for you. it tears me up that i can't.

i'm torn between needing to come up there and be with you and knowing its not practical and i'm not able to cos of the work i have to do for tomorrow. if it would help i have some ideas and just let me know and i'll see what i can do... apart from anything else it would help me to be with you

but one way or another you will get through this and things will be better. somehow i promise you that. :(

*snip*Obviously, I won't tell you what you should do; only you can decide that in conjunction with your doctor. However, a few points:

1. There should be no problem with giving you anti-depressants at your age - you're 16/17 or so, aren't you? I was on Prozac from the age of 14 and I've heard of the odd person that had it prescribed even younger than that.

2. From what you say about there being no specific situation(s) that cause you to be depressed, it does sound very much like it's to do with brain chemistry (again, I don't know anything about medicine; that's just my supposition). IIRC, there's also some evidence that there can be a genetic predisposition to depression, so that could have some bearing. I've not had any therapy or counselling for years, but as you say they seem to more geared to changing thought processes and whatnot. That's great, but I would guess that changing thought processes doesn't always change brain chemistry, whereas perhaps the right type of medication could.

3. It's possible that your exhaustion is a symptom of your depression - certainly this was true for me. As for the illnesses, the same could be true, but is it possible that it is partly a cause too? While you're with the doctor tomorrow, make sure (s)he checks you over for physical problems too - some can directly cause depression, I believe, others can indirectly do so (being upset that you're ill could lead to it, whether consciously or otherwise).

4. Tell the doctor everything you said in your post and anything else you can remember. Sounds obvious, I know, but just in case they try and fob you off.

Bloody hell, that was a bit of a non-sensical ramble in places. Sorry. Regardless, I hope that your appointment goes well. Whatever you decide to do, all the very best :fluffle:

I used to go through that too, my doctor ended up having to put me on an old style SSRI, the ones now are "extended release" so they are supposed to be one pill for all day, but my levels would get screwy, so he put me on the same thing (same total mg. a day) but I had to take 4 pills throughout the day instead of 1 in the morning, it really fixed stuff. It's true though that you can't just take the meds and expect them to "fix" you, you have to go through therepy or something too, some people (like my mom) will have to be on pills and have therepy for the rest of thier lives.(of course she is actually bipolar, but her doctors didn't realize that for a while, they thought she was just depressed)


Been in therapy for years, my therapist and I are currently argueing existentialism: specifically, "Is there a f---ing point?"

Glitziness, my advice is go on the meds, but tell your doctor immediately if it's not working.

I don't have direct experience with anti-depressants, but I have acquaintances who do. Observations I have made; dosages do have to be adjusted over time; sometimes a specific medication isn't appropriate and finding the appropriate one is matter of trial and error; some anti-depressants can make the patient suicidal initially, hence the need for careful, medical observation.

Even so, medically supervised treatment is preferable to self-medicating with drugs and alcohol - that is downright dangerous and can lead to far worse consequences than the side effects of anti-depressant drugs.

Thanks to all the people who've replied. It really is incredibly helpful and I just appreciate you caring enough to reply.

I saw my doctor today and the basic result is that I'm going to be referred to a Mental Health service nearby so that they can decide the best treatment for me. It could mean medication - I don't know. I'll wait and see what they say and try to hold my ground if I think they aren't taking what I say seriously or I just generally disagree with what they're saying and want to make sure they really do understand the situation. I suppose any full body checks will be decided then, if they can see that it's not so much thought processes as something chemical or physical or whatever.

(and, btw, I do agree that the illnesses and exhaustion are almost definitly part of the depression - I was just noting them as things which may have bearing on whether it's more likely to be chemical, more likely medication will have an effect etc)

My doctor also reccomended I talk to people at school. Not because it's increasing the stress that much but because I physically cannot do all the work I'm being set when I'm feeling like this (and it could also make stress and I don't want the situation to worsen). So I talked to my year head and sorted out what I could get done for the deadlines, what I can't, when I can get it done etc. I have extensions on two major pieces of work and my teachers have been made aware of the situation and have been told to not give me hassle about work 'cause I'm doing what I can and they can talk to my year head if they have a problem with that.

So, I've taken the first steps with professional help of some kind and sorted out some support at school. I'm quite proud of myself for doing that, even if I do say so myself.

Again, thanks all :fluffle: best wishes to those suffering from depression also, and for those who've overcome it I'm more than happy for you :)

Thanks to all the people who've replied. It really is incredibly helpful and I just appreciate you caring enough to reply.

I saw my doctor today and the basic result is that I'm going to be referred to a Mental Health service nearby so that they can decide the best treatment for me. It could mean medication - I don't know. I'll wait and see what they say and try to hold my ground if I think they aren't taking what I say seriously or I just generally disagree with what they're saying and want to make sure they really do understand the situation. I suppose any full body checks will be decided then, if they can see that it's not so much thought processes as something chemical or physical or whatever.

(and, btw, I do agree that the illnesses and exhaustion are almost definitly part of the depression - I was just noting them as things which may have bearing on whether it's more likely to be chemical, more likely medication will have an effect etc)

My doctor also reccomended I talk to people at school. Not because it's increasing the stress that much but because I physically cannot do all the work I'm being set when I'm feeling like this (and it could also make stress and I don't want the situation to worsen). So I talked to my year head and sorted out what I could get done for the deadlines, what I can't, when I can get it done etc. I have extensions on two major pieces of work and my teachers have been made aware of the situation and have been told to not give me hassle about work 'cause I'm doing what I can and they can talk to my year head if they have a problem with that.

So, I've taken the first steps with professional help of some kind and sorted out some support at school. I'm quite proud of myself for doing that, even if I do say so myself.

Again, thanks all :fluffle: best wishes to those suffering from depression also, and for those who've overcome it I'm more than happy for you :)
you have my unconditional support and love throughout all this, whatever happens i'm here for you. if not always physically, but i'm still here if you need me. you should be proud of yourself, and i can only hope that this is the start of the road to recovery. i love you and... to be corny and use those lyrics again (they just fit so well): one day the sun will shine on you... i promise you :fluffle:

i'm glad they helped, but none of them like... changed you though? right?




Er, some of this information might be a bit old, I didn't read the entire thread.

The pills I took (Prozac) didn't cause any "change" like you'd think. They aren't happy pills, but they do help you control and balance your moods. Not even as far as taking the edge off of it, but just to help balance it. This isn't to say that they had no side effects for me - Firstly, they gave me body tremors, ruined my appetite (I could go two days without eating, and lost 2 stones) and hurt my sleeping patterns severely. I can't remember, but I think they also destroyed my concentration on everything - but this is important, these aren't all THAT common, and the tremors I've never heard of anyone else having.

Mainly, the anti-depressants only work in co-ordination with active effort to remedy the cause of depression, in my experience. However, prozac leaves a trace residue in your body, it builds up over time. if you are taking it for an extensive period of time, then you have to come off of it slowly. it's not addictive, from my experience, but your body gets used to it regardless.

Unfortunately, this is all I can tell you from my experience. Hope it helps and wasn't... too repeated.

(having scanned the recent replies)
Best of luck, Glitz! I'm sure having someone as concerned as PM is will be a real bonus to you in this - having supportive friends certainly helped a LOT for me :D

-snip-

Unfortunately, this is all I can tell you from my experience. Hope it helps and wasn't... too repeated.

(having scanned the recent replies)
Best of luck, Glitz! I'm sure having someone as concerned as PM is will be a real bonus to you in this - having supportive friends certainly helped a LOT for me :D
Thank you, for the luck and for sharing your experience :) Even though it's just your personal experience, it still helps. And with a fairly large amount of responses, you can sort through and find the overall experience. Either way, noone can determine how it will affect someone else anyway.

And it helps immensely. Don't know quite where I'd be without him :fluffle:
And Huw, I'm talking to you on msn so I'll just give you a fluffle (:fluffle: :P) and say again that I can't thank you enough for how amazing you're being for me throughout this.

I'm glad to hear things went pretty well with the doctor, and good luck with the the mental health service. Also it's great that you've managed to get things sorted out with your coursework, that's one less thing to worry about.

You're just right to be proud of yourself. Taking this first step is a major move in the right direction. Continued good luck to you :)