NationStates Jolt Archive

To start:

1. Atheism isn't really a religion, organization, arrangement of doctrines, or group that requires an actual leader.

2. Common usage of the word "atheism" seems to vary in its precise meaning.

3. We'll just set that aside for this.

So, I'm proposing we elect a Space Pope of Atheism. He/She should be the Space Pope because it implies a celestial majesty. Candidates do not have to be affiliated with or trained to the standard of any aeronautical or space agency.

So, we'll open up with nominations. Your nominee should reflect the tenets of Atheism (as whatever you've made them up to be) that you fervently believe in.

Once elected, the Space Pope of Atheism will gain the title, and a special hat. The hat will be chosen in a design contest to be held in New York and televised on A&E network. Funds to buy the materials and stitching for the hat will be raised by the levie of a tithing on all practicing atheists equal to $14.95 USD divided by the number of atheists in the world, rounded down to the nearest penny.

First nominee: Bender Bending Rodriguez.
Qualifications: Joined a religion, left it, made daring escape from Robot Hell, seems to illustrate a stereotypical view of atheists as beer-swilling, whoremongering kleptomaniacal bastards.

Advantages: We can draw the hat instead of making it.

Disadvantages: Will probably demand tribute of some kind.

I nominate Lord Byron for being cool.

Very Atheist, once had sex with a choir boy in a cathedral when he was underage :)
"Rarely will your eyes behold a nobler grave than this...
Here lie the bones of Lord Denefor...
Stop traveller...
and piss."

Plus Advantages.
He wont boss anyone around cos he's dead.

Disadvantages. He's dead.

i'm agnostic, does that count?

I nominate Optimus Prime - because every boy knows he is a good guy.

I elect Fluffle Man and/or Jello Man

I have to second Bender Bending Rodriguez. What could be possibly be better than a foul-mouthed, drunken robot from the future?!?

I nominate God for his outstanding contribution for Atheism in the last few millenia or so. Also because it'd be ironic and funny. ^_^

I nominate God for his outstanding contribution for Atheism in the last few millenia or so. Also because it'd be ironic and funny. ^_^
HAHAHA i second it

I'll nominate myself! :D

If you elect me, I'll see to it that all this puritan religious filth will be disposed of, and everyone will have good sex three times a day! :D

I'll nominate myself! :D

If you elect me, I'll see to it that all this puritan religious filth will be disposed of, and everyone will have good sex three times a day! :D
Only three? PFFT.

If you elect me, I'll see to it that all this puritan religious filth will be disposed of, and everyone will have good sex three times a day! :D
How do you plan to guarantee that? Will you employ a series of supervisors to ensure that all sex is good?

*Imagines*

Supervisor: Excuse me? What do you call that?
Guy: I... uh... seem to be a little tired...
Supervisor: Right, it's the rehabilitator for you!
Guy: No... anything... but... AAAAGHHHHHABLurble...

I'll nominate myself! :D

If you elect me, I'll see to it that all this puritan religious filth will be disposed of, and everyone will have good sex three times a day! :D

I like your policy on getting rid of religion.... But saying i have to cut out my afternoon sessions of sex? thats wrong. ;p

i nominate captain Jean-Luc Picard because he's an athiest, he's cool as fuck, i'm feeling nerdy, and he's patrick stewart for fucks sake! if anyone should be the space pope, its him! :D
(and not that twat sisko ;) )

Space Papists are fools, following a false antiProphet. Their non-Church is the non-Whore of non-Babylon.

I elect Me as head of Space Pope Atheists.
YOU ALL KNOW I TROLL AT CHRSITIANS!
Rise brothers, united in hatred United in purity United against the chistians!!!!
Nipples dammit!

*snip*and everyone will have good sex three times a day! :D

Raise that to five, and include hot gay sex, and you get my vote!

Elect me and I will encourage Cuba and South America to move away from America and place themselves in the East of the Atlantic Ocean. This will be the first step in forming a whole new landmass called "Atheistland" (name under construction, ideas welcome) where we will plot to envelop the entire world in godless commie revolution!

Plus I'll throw in free popcorn.

Chuck Norris

Pluses
He can make a girl have an orgasm by pointing at her and saying BOOYA!

Minuses
He might do that to your wife or girlfriend and they'll leave you for Chuck Norris.

Elect me as Space Pope and I'll push for a godless, hedonistic society free from moral and ethical regulation. Follow not the false-gods of Communism and Socialism, follow the false-false-god of Money!

Elect me as Space Pope and I'll push for a godless, hedonistic society free from moral and ethical regulation. Follow not the false-gods of Communism and Socialism, follow the false-false-god of Money!

But we have free popcorn! MUWHAHAHAHA!!!

I nominate L. Ron Hubbard, why because at least we know we could make some money out of this with him in charge.

I nominate Jesus.

ZOMG, Irony?

But we have free popcorn! MUWHAHAHAHA!!!
I offer free AK-47s and whores.

I offer free AK-47s and whores.

Let us join forces, our mighty army of AK-47 toting popcorn will crush all before them while we enjoy the whores.

I offer free AK-47s and whores.
Are we talking about regular, syphillis-infected old female whores, or sexy, disease-free young gay male-whores here?

As you can see, I may not be totally objective on the matter

Let us join forces, our mighty army of AK-47 toting popcorn will crush all before them while we enjoy the whores.
If you let me rule the thriving black market and numerous criminal enterprises that inevitably evolve to fulfill the capitalist needs of any society that institutes regulation on their markets, I will stand by you.
You can even be the "offical" Space Pope, I'll be the Shadow Space Pope.

If you let me rule the thriving black market and numerous criminal enterprises that inevitably evolve to fulfill the capitalist needs of any society that institutes regulation on their markets, I will stand by you.
You can even be the "offical" Space Pope, I'll be the Shadow Space Pope.

Sure why not. You can run the country while I'll busy having Cuba towed across the Atlantic for easier trading.

I nominate God.

I'll be his running mate, if he can't come forward to take the hat I shall take it in his stead untill he pops up to claim it. I promise all of your heart's desires! Whores, boose, drugs, talking frogs, ALL those things you want, even the impossible ones*. ;)

*Will get around to all of those things after he dies and becomes an anti-saint.

I nominate George W. Bush. We can shoot him off into space and think about what he's up to occasionally.

I nominate myself. Why? Because I'm arrogant.

Need I say more?

I nominate myself. Why? Because I'm arrogant.

Need I say more?

greaaat

greaaat
I will not tolerate such insubordination.

Which is why I will make such a great space-pope

I will not tolerate such insubordination.

Which is why I will make such a great space-pope

(shrugs) All hail Dhomme

I'm hearing a lot of great nominations here, especially ones involving guns and prostitutes (I live in Southern Nevada, where these things are already embraced as very personal things, to be let into your heart/pants.)

So, as a matter of protocol, when I draw up the list, do nominees need to be seconded (or non-puppet seconded, I guess)?

And when we gather in St. Marley's Basilica to make the vote, are we agreed on what kind of smoke needs to be coming out of the chimney when we've reached a decision?

(shrugs) All hail Dhomme

Excellent

I nominate myself, as I am very atheist, and also I converted to atheism as early as the 3rd grade, and I am the autor of the "Challange for Religous people" thread.

People, the Space Pope is obviously Fass.

People, the Space Pope is obviously Fass.

Here here!

Pah. Blasphemy. We need a totalitarian space pope who can sell you some ace dope.

I nominate the Grim Reaper

Pros: He's death.

Cons: He's death.

People, the Space Pope is obviously Fass.
If he becomes the Space Pope, I'll have a Space Schism and form an Orthodox Atheist Church.

If he becomes the Space Pope, I'll have a Space Schism and form an Orthodox Atheist Church.

See! Another reason to elect Fass!

If he becomes the Space Pope, I'll have a Space Schism and form an Orthodox Atheist Church.

Then I'll start another split to create the Necro sect of atheism, who will know that only Death can be the true space pope.

Then I'll start another split to create the Necro sect of atheism, who will know that only Death can be the true space pope.
But who will you split off from? Are you seperating from the Roman Atheist Church? Or the Orthodox Atheist Church?
We must know for the paperwork.

Enough with these politics! Only Billy Grahm could be the atheist space pope!

Bill Gates.

doesn't he own the universe anyway?

But who will you split off from? Are you seperating from the Roman Atheist Church? Or the Orthodox Atheist Church?
We must know for the paperwork.

We'll split off from the Protestant Atheist Church.

Bill Gates.

doesn't he own the universe anyway?

No, it only seems that way.

I nominate Bob Marley for Space Pope.

Pros- the weed

Cons- he wasn't actually an atheist...

We'll split off from the Protestant Atheist Church.
We don't have one of those yet. Quit violating chronology!

I nominate Bob Marley for Space Pope.

Pros- the weed

Cons- he wasn't actually an atheist...

That people like that can be considered for the Astral Papacy only shows the need for reform.

I nominate Terry Pratchett

Pros: He's already in charge of a world out there in space. It's flat, lies on the back of four elephants that stand on the back of a turtle, and has its own gods, including a God of Evolution...

Cons: The next one is in August (http://www.dwcon.org/), see you there!

I Nominate Myself! Too Bad No One Will Vote For Me...

I Nominate Myself! Too Bad No One Will Vote For Me...

Just wondering, I know I've seen you answer this on some thread before but I forgot...why do you always capitalize every word of your posts?

Just wondering, I know I've seen you answer this on some thread before but I forgot...why do you always capitalize every word of your posts?
Ugh, When Will People Stop Asking? I WANT TO! AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY! SOMETIMES!

Also, I Am Part Of The Methodist Athiest Church.

Okay, I just got home, and somebody glued a manifesto calling for reform in the Space Papacy to my door. They also left a sticky note, saying they wanted to do the traditional thing and nail it to my door, but I have a glass door, so they glued it.

Also, there was a "We have a package for you" slip from UPS, but I don't think it was taking any kind of stance on the Space Papacy.

At first I thought Democritus, because he sort of invented the whole atheism deal. (Kinda). But he's probably not available, so I nominate instead, the silver surfer.

Pros: Already has cosmic powers

Cons: Bad taste in speedo swimwear, no genitals.

I just remembered something: there are several Catholic Atheists on these forums. Wouldn't it make sense for one of them to be the space pope? After all, they already are familiar with the hierarchy.

I just remembered something: there are several Catholic Atheists on these forums. Wouldn't it make sense for one of them to be the space pope? After all, they already are familiar with the hierarchy.
I could be a Space-Papist in service of the Rotovia-. *nods*

I could be a Space-Papist in service of the Rotovia-. *nods*

That settles it then. I withdraw my nomination of Fass and instead nominate Rotovia.

I nominate anyone who is willing to undergo a Space Papist Smear.