NationStates Jolt Archive

Some stuff you just can't make up (http://freeport.nassauguardian.net/print/52822849011713.php).

If the problem is as serious as has been suggested by Stephen Plakaris, deputy director of government school security for the Northern Bahamas, a much bigger crisis exists in our school system than the disgraceful "D" average performance that is now the norm nationally for students in government schools.

In an article published in The Freeport News on Tuesday, Mr. Plakaris confirmed that there is a network of lesbians operating in private and government high schools in Grand Bahama. "Unfortunately we cannot deny it," he told our reporter, adding: "To deny it would put us in a situation where we're looking at ourselves in the mirror and pretending we don't see what is there."

Although he could not say how many girls on the various campuses engage in lesbianism, Mr. Plakaris made the shocking assertion that the numbers "are alarming, disturbing and growing." Even more disturbing is the claim made by Mr. Plakaris that there are some adults of this orientation – including some teachers and parents – who "are not inclined" to discourage young girls from engaging in this kind of lifestyle. A network of lesbians operating in private and government high schools? What is that supposed to mean? It's not like lesbianism is crack--offer the first hit for free but then you've got to start paying for it. And in case there was any doubt, the Bahamian version of James Dobson (http://freeportarchive.nassauguardian.net/archive_detail.php?archiveFile=./pubfiles/fpt/archive/2006/February/02/NationalNews/12214.xml&start=0&numPer=20&keyword=lesbianism&sectionSearch=&begindate=1%2F1%2F1999&enddate=12%2F31%2F2010&authorSearch=&Include&archive_pubname=The+Freeport+News%0A%09%09%09) is behind the hysteria.

Some stuff you just can't make up (http://freeport.nassauguardian.net/print/52822849011713.php).

A network of lesbians operating in private and government high schools? What is that supposed to mean? It's not like lesbianism is crack--offer the first hit for free but then you've got to start paying for it. And in case there was any doubt, the Bahamian version of James Dobson (http://freeportarchive.nassauguardian.net/archive_detail.php?archiveFile=./pubfiles/fpt/archive/2006/February/02/NationalNews/12214.xml&start=0&numPer=20&keyword=lesbianism&sectionSearch=&begindate=1%2F1%2F1999&enddate=12%2F31%2F2010&authorSearch=&Include&archive_pubname=The+Freeport+News%0A%09%09%09) is behind the hysteria.


I bet there's a network of heterosexuals, too. Perish forbid!

Gauging just how pervasive it is in our schools, of course, has always been difficult because gay women do not physically exhibit the characteristics which make it easy to determine that a man is homosexual.

Yeah, like all gay men wear leather caps and grow big moustaches...

Maybe they should just arrest the ladies field hockey team, all women who wear dungarees, any woman with a short haircut, any woman wearing Doc Martens...

Lesbianism responsible for poor grades.

That is one of the dumbest fucking things i have ever heard.

Lesbianism responsible for poor grades.

That is one of the dumbest fucking things i have ever heard.
Stick around. You'll hear all that and more around here.

Stick around. You'll hear all that and more around here.

What, like militant Islamic madrassas are responsible for training terrorists to hate?

Awesome! Out the window goes the "segregated sexes = better education" argument. ;)

Awesome! Out the window goes the "segregated sexes = better education" argument. ;)
Hmm, you're right. If we put girls in school with boys, the boys don't do as well because the little hussies are a distraction, but if we put the girls in schools of their own then they'll catch Teh Lezbian...probably best to avoid the whole mess entirely by forbidding females to learn.

Hmm, you're right. If we put girls in school with boys, the boys don't do as well because the little hussies are a distraction, but if we put the girls in schools of their own then they'll catch Teh Lezbian...probably best to avoid the whole mess entirely by forbidding females to learn.

Definitely. But I don't think that's going far enough. What if the boys see a girl walking down the street in provocative clothes? No, that won't do at all. They should be made to wear outfits that totally obscure their bodies and faces. For the good of society of course - can't be spreading immorality now, can we?

Definitely. But I don't think that's going far enough. What if the boys see a girl walking down the street in provocative clothes? No, that won't do at all. They should be made to wear outfits that totally obscure their bodies and faces. For the good of society of course - can't be spreading immorality now, can we?
Certainly not! I think we can all agree that most of society's ill can be traced directly to the uncovered ankles of our rebelious youth. Also rock and roll.

Wow, those teachers must have like roomfulls of toasters... :rolleyes:

Certainly not! I think we can all agree that most of society's ill can be traced directly to the uncovered ankles of our rebelious youth. Also rock and roll.

And video games. And Charles Darwin. ;)

I guess they can't blame the Jews anymore, so it's time to move on to lesbians...

I like this part...

gauging just how pervasive it is in our schools, of course, has always been difficult because gay women do not physically exhibit the characteristics which make it easy to determine that a man is homosexual. The same is true with women in general.

Guys, watch out - any woman could be a lesbian. And you won't know until it's TOO LATE! :eek:

I like this part...



Guys, watch out - any woman could be a lesbian. And you won't know until it's TOO LATE! :eek:
Isn't it terrifying to think that there may, somewhere, be a female who is not interested in your penis?

Isn't it terrifying to think that there may, somewhere, be a female who is not interested in your penis?
By the time you're 45 years old, you've met quite a few women who aren't remotely interested, and lesbianism is the most unlikely reason.

Even more disturbing is the claim ... that there are some adults of this orientation ... who "are not inclined" to discourage young girls from engaging in this kind of lifestyle.

we're telling people what sexuality they have to be now?
i mean, yeah, we used to do that... but evidently some people think we still should. what business is it of the school what these girls like?

A secret lesbian network? We better sneak in tons of webcams and place them everywhere to watch them.. infiltrate the government, yeah, infiltrate the government.

Isn't it terrifying to think that there may, somewhere, be a female who is not interested in your penis?

Absolutely - almost as disruptive to my manly psyche as the realisation that there may be OTHER MEN interested in my penis! :eek:

By the time you're 45 years old, you've met quite a few women who aren't remotely interested, and lesbianism is the most unlikely reason.
Blasphemer. All NORMAL females spend their every waking hour meditating on how best to please whichever male human desires their attentions. Teh Lezbian, much like Teh Femnizm, causes normal, healthy, submissive females to develop radical notions of their own humanity.

Absolutely - almost as disruptive to my manly psyche as the realisation that there may be OTHER MEN interested in my penis! :eek:
You know, you can catch Teh Gay just from knowing that there are gay people in the world. Rush Limbaugh told me so.

This is what is known as The Reverse Tinkerbell Principle. You see, in the story of Peter Pan we learn that every time a person says "I do not believe in fairies" a fairy will fall down dead. The extension of this is that every time a person says "I believe in fairies" a straight man's penis will fall down dead.

Blasphemer. All NORMAL females spend their every waking hour meditating on how best to please whichever male human desires their attentions. Teh Lezbian, much like Teh Femnizm, causes normal, healthy, submissive females to develop radical notions of their own humanity.

No, that's a fantasy promoted by fat, puerile, alcoholic, jobless, shiftless, unwashed, acne-scarred, erectile dysfunctional psuedointellectual narcissistic cretins who have trouble getting laid.

No, that's a fantasy promoted by fat, puerile, alcoholic, jobless, shiftless, unwashed, acne-scarred, erectile dysfunctional psuedointellectual narcissistic cretins who have trouble getting laid.
Well of COURSE the government is behind it. Who said they weren't?

There are worse things than being a lesbian.

Being an alcoholic binge-drinking heterosexual isn't a good thing...

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b283/jtkwon/picnic.jpg

I like this part...

"gauging just how pervasive it is in our schools, of course, has always been difficult because gay women do not physically exhibit the characteristics which make it easy to determine that a man is homosexual. The same is true with women in general."

Guys, watch out - any woman could be a lesbian. And you won't know until it's TOO LATE! :eek:

gay men have certain physical characteristics that identify them as gay???

why arent we screening newborns for this???

You know, you can catch Teh Gay just from knowing that there are gay people in the world. Rush Limbaugh told me so.

This is what is known as The Reverse Tinkerbell Principle. You see, in the story of Peter Pan we learn that every time a person says "I do not believe in fairies" a fairy will fall down dead. The extension of this is that every time a person says "I believe in fairies" a straight man's penis will fall down dead.
But the kind of clapping you do to fix that makes it totally worth it...

Well of COURSE the government is behind it. Who said they weren't?

Hahahaha :p

Geez, sounds like my kinda school system.


<---- Has a thing for lesbians. :p

I heard there was this secret network of weirdos who try and get women to worship the Mighty Phallus ! Oh wait, that's just men :)

Definitely. But I don't think that's going far enough. What if the boys see a girl walking down the street in provocative clothes? No, that won't do at all. They should be made to wear outfits that totally obscure their bodies and faces. For the good of society of course - can't be spreading immorality now, can we?

We could just skip the intermediate steps and just ban women from appearing in public altogether. For the good of our children, of course. Our male children.

We could just skip the intermediate steps and just ban women from appearing in public altogether. For the good of our children, of course. Our male children.

That raises a problem though, if girls cant be seen or heard, and blokes, as we all we know, are horny bastards (guilty) they could turn on each other for sexual release.

Yeah, like all gay men wear leather caps and grow big moustaches...
..

That's how I've always been able to spot 'em! :p

We could just skip the intermediate steps and just ban women from appearing in public altogether. For the good of our children, of course. Our male children.
Oh, and for the good of the female children! Really, it's best for females if we protect them from the outside world. Things like choosing their own clothing, learning to read, and participating in government are all very difficult and stressful, and we should defend our tender flowers of femininity from such harsh and manly activities.

Instead of putting all sorts of nasty ideas in their pretty little heads, we should encourage our delicate feminine flowers to bloom safely and quietly in the home. While menfolk tend to the difficult, fierce, nasty business of living, women can concentrate on appropriately delicate, tidy, and non-strenuous pursuits, such as childbirth.

That raises a problem though, if girls cant be seen or heard, and blokes, as we all we know, are horny bastards (guilty) they could turn on each other for sexual release.
No, no, no! No good American child would ever willingly become gay! The only reason our fine, masculine children become homosexual is because the homosexual activists are brainwashing them! All that will end once we put a stop to Hollywood, the ACLU, and men's figure skating.

We could just skip the intermediate steps and just ban women from appearing in public altogether. For the good of our children, of course. Our male children.

Now, I have to draw the line there. Who would do our grocery shopping and beer fetching?

Oh, and for the good of the female children! Really, it's best for females if we protect them from the outside world. Things like choosing their own clothing, learning to read, and participating in government are all very difficult and stressful, and we should defend our tender flowers of femininity from such harsh and manly activities.

Instead of putting all sorts of nasty ideas in their pretty little heads, we should encourage our delicate feminine flowers to bloom safely and quietly in the home. While menfolk tend to the difficult, fierce, nasty business of living, women can concentrate on appropriately delicate, tidy, and non-strenuous pursuits, such as childbirth.

Hear Hear *cheers and waves beer glass around*

*pissed*

Now, I have to draw the line there. Who would do our grocery shopping and beer fetching?
It would be just like in The Good Old Days(tm)...you'd buy yourself a brown person to do those errands for you.

That raises a problem though, if girls cant be seen or heard, and blokes, as we all we know, are horny bastards (guilty) they could turn on each other for sexual release :fluffle:

There would be institutions for resolving those issues.

Now, I have to draw the line there. Who would do our grocery shopping and beer fetching?

Well, that's what minorities are for, right?

I wonder if anyone will take me seriously. That would be hilarious.

Yeah theres nothing like being a middle class white man in Europe or America.

[QUOTE=Vetalia]I guess they can't blame the Jews anymore, so it's time to move on to lesbians...[/QUOT

Why can't we blame lesian jew?....

It would be just like in The Good Old Days(tm)...you'd buy yourself a brown person to do those errands for you.

Well, that's what minorities are for, right?

I wonder if anyone will take me seriously. That would be hilarious.

LOL. True, true. ;)

Oh, and for the good of the female children! Really, it's best for females if we protect them from the outside world. Things like choosing their own clothing, learning to read, and participating in government are all very difficult and stressful, and we should defend our tender flowers of femininity from such harsh and manly activities.
Bottle, if you weren't one of these subversive females I'd vote for you as Supreme High Ruler of Earth.

That's how I've always been able to spot 'em! :p
i just assume all well groomed men are gay... heck sure you sometimes catch a metrosexual in that net of assumptions, but they're not homophobic so my thinking they're gay shouldn't hurt their feelings much.

[QUOTE=Vetalia]I guess they can't blame the Jews anymore, so it's time to move on to lesbians...[/QUOT

Why can't we blame lesian jew?....
well its the secular humanists a world view created by the jews to stick it to whitey(well whiteier) that produces the preconditions for the lesbian germs to gestate.

:mp5: :mp5: i just assume all well groomed men are gay... heck sure you sometimes catch a metrosexual in that net of assumptions, but they're not homophobic so my thinking they're gay shouldn't hurt their feelings much.

I concur the Freddie mercury stereotype always wprked for me also when trying to identify a lesbian I have found that as a rule any woman who can bench press me (a 16 stone slob) is enough to send alarm bells ringing.:fluffle: :eek:

I have to name my next band "the uncovered ankles of our rebelious youth". TOOUARY will rule :D

Some stuff you just can't make up (http://freeport.nassauguardian.net/print/52822849011713.php).

A network of lesbians operating in private and government high schools? What is that supposed to mean? It's not like lesbianism is crack--offer the first hit for free but then you've got to start paying for it. And in case there was any doubt, the Bahamian version of James Dobson (http://freeportarchive.nassauguardian.net/archive_detail.php?archiveFile=./pubfiles/fpt/archive/2006/February/02/NationalNews/12214.xml&start=0&numPer=20&keyword=lesbianism&sectionSearch=&begindate=1%2F1%2F1999&enddate=12%2F31%2F2010&authorSearch=&Include&archive_pubname=The+Freeport+News%0A%09%09%09) is behind the hysteria.

Ah, so this is offensive to you because it is a crown protectorate?

Really, there a million worse places than the bahamas to be a lesbian, and as I doubt you are a bahamian, I don't understand why you are so concerened by this.

Is it racism?

fat, puerile, alcoholic, jobless, shiftless, unwashed, acne-scarred, erectile dysfunctional psuedointellectual narcissistic cretins who have trouble getting laid

FPAJSUASEDPNCWHTGL was a close second, but even the acronym is too long ;)
:D

Ah, so this is offensive to you because it is a crown protectorate?

Really, there a million worse places than the bahamas to be a lesbian, and as I doubt you are a bahamian, I don't understand why you are so concerened by this.

Is it racism?
No, I'm offended by it because it's stupid, and stupid knows no national or racial bounds. Wouldn't matter to me who it was--I made fun of Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn when he said similarly ridiculous shit last year.

Lesbians in the Bahamas...

I know lots of guys who'd pay to see that...:p

Maybe we could set traps around the schools to catch these Lesbians who are dead-set on infiltrating and corrupting our young.
I suggest large fly-paper with a pair of Doc Martins, a couple of prawns and Sinead O'Conner playing in the background. It'll be too much temptation for the Lesbians who'll be drawn to the DMs and smell of prawns, only to be caught in the sticky fly-paper.
In the morning we can humanely tie them in a sack with a couple of bricks and throw it in the river.

Ah, so this is offensive to you because it is a crown protectorate?

Really, there a million worse places than the bahamas to be a lesbian, and as I doubt you are a bahamian, I don't understand why you are so concerened by this.

Is it racism?

Racism?

Superman couldn't make a leap like that.

I don't understand why you are so concerened by this. - original quote by Jacques Derrida

Hitler - Jews
Joseph McCarthy - Communist
George W. Bush - Terrorist
Christian Coalition - Everyone who isn't in the Christian Coalition

Stephen Plakaris - Lesbians

While what mr plakaris is doing, isn't new, it's particularly banal/ignorant, thus
open to mockery. It's also evil and opens the door to bigotry, hate, segregation etc.

Bottle, if you weren't one of these subversive females I'd vote for you as Supreme High Ruler of Earth.
You're so kind. If I weren't female I would hug you...but, as we know, hugging is a sure sign of harlotry, so I would be forced to stone myself to death.

I was having a really crap day till I read this thread and now I am laughing thank's everyone I am off to the Bahama's this summer sounds like my kind of place. Sun Sea and Saphic sex:fluffle:

You're so kind. If I weren't female I would hug you...but, as we know, hugging is a sure sign of harlotry, so I would be forced to stone myself to death.
you could always just go all amish and shun yourself, its still pretty reactionary but in a kinder gentler way.

you could always just go all amish and shun yourself, its still pretty reactionary but in a kinder gentler way.
Hmm, you make a good point. Shunning would be a spiritual and social death, but it would probably be kinder on my delicate feminine skin...

You know, you can catch Teh Gay just from knowing that there are gay people in the world. Rush Limbaugh told me so.

This is what is known as The Reverse Tinkerbell Principle. You see, in the story of Peter Pan we learn that every time a person says "I do not believe in fairies" a fairy will fall down dead. The extension of this is that every time a person says "I believe in fairies" a straight man's penis will fall down dead.
ROFLMFAO!!! OMG!

DVD of Peter Pan: $12.98

Telephone call to yer momma to tell her you believe in fairies: $1.95

Watching your penis fall over dead: Priceless! :D

Hmm, you make a good point. Shunning would be a spiritual and social death, but it would probably be kinder on my delicate feminine skin...
plus if you only become amish to shun yourself there is really no need to go through the annoying process of ridding yourself of modern conveniences like electricity and cars and deorderant, if you're just kicking yourself out anyway.

You're so kind. If I weren't female I would hug you...but, as we know, hugging is a sure sign of harlotry, so I would be forced to stone myself to death.
Aha! But if you weren't female, and you hugged me, it would be a sure sign of homosexuality! For such a gross sin we'd have to stone each other to death!

Aha! But if you weren't female, and you hugged me, it would be a sure sign of homosexuality! For such a gross sin we'd have to stone each other to death!
Hell. I'd pay to watch that! :D

Aha! But if you weren't female, and you hugged me, it would be a sure sign of homosexuality! For such a gross sin we'd have to stone each other to death!
i personally don't care for mutual stonings, one person always ends up having to do the lion's share of the work. you never both connect with killing shots at the same time, so whomever kills the other guy first then has to stone himself to finish things off.

Aha! But if you weren't female, and you hugged me, it would be a sure sign of homosexuality! For such a gross sin we'd have to stone each other to death!
I concur. DEATH TO THE SINFUL HUGGING PERVERTS!!!!

I feel I need to answer on behalf of myself and many of my fellow Bahamians. Not everyone in the Bahamas is as ignorant and biggoty as Stephen Plakaris is (There is a fair amount, but it's not everyone). Most of us don't really check for it. To whom it may concern, sincerist apologies.

Hell. I'd pay to watch that! :D
*THWOCK*

Bottle: Ow!! That hurt!

Compulsive Depression: Um, we're supposed to be stoning each other to death. It's probably going to hurt.

Bottle: Well yes, but you don't have to use those pointy ones. Look, now I've got a scratch. That really stings.

Compulsive Depression: It's not likely the blunt ones will feel much better. See?

*THWOCK*

Bottle: Oww!!!! Dammit to bloody hell! Alright then, it does hurt, but look...not a scratch. That's much better. If we finish this up fast enough there won't even be time for the bruise to show.

Compulsive Depression: You're a nut.

*THWOCK* *THWAP* *THUD*

Hell. I'd pay to watch that! :D
So long as you're watching the Righteous Stoning and not the Sinful Hugging, that's fine.

i personally don't care for mutual stonings, one person always ends up having to do the lion's share of the work.
It's hard to get a good, honest Mob nowadays. You have to work with what you've got.

I concur. DEATH TO THE SINFUL HUGGING PERVERTS!!!!
It's the only way to guarantee a proper, socially responsible and appropriately repressed existence.

I concur. DEATH TO THE SINFUL HUGGING PERVERTS!!!!

*hugs Bottle*
:fluffle:

So long as you're watching the Righteous Stoning and not the Sinful Hugging, that's fine.
The hell you say! If I'm going to watch the punishment, I get to watch the "crime" too! :p

*THWOCK*

Bottle: Ow!! That hurt!

Compulsive Depression: Um, we're supposed to be stoning each other to death. It's probably going to hurt.

Bottle: Well yes, but you don't have to use those pointy ones. Look, now I've got a scratch. That really stings.

Compulsive Depression: It's not likely the blunt ones will feel much better. See?

*THWOCK*

Bottle: Oww!!!! Dammit to bloody hell! Alright then, it does hurt, but look...not a scratch. That's much better. If we finish this up fast enough there won't even be time for the bruise to show.

Compulsive Depression: You're a nut.

*THWOCK* *THWAP* *THUD*
[ sends Bottle a check ] :D

*hugs Bottle*
:fluffle:
Ack, I'm going to catch Pervert Cooties! Quick, somebody stone me!!

The hell you say! If I'm going to watch the punishment, I get to watch the "crime" too! :p
*Stones Eutrusca
Ack, I'm going to catch Pervert Cooties! Quick, somebody stone me!!
*Stones Bottle (carefully avoiding the pointy ones)

Pst: Are we going to split the cash?

*Stones Bottle (carefully avoiding the pointy ones)

Pst: Are we going to split the cash?
Share it? You silly creature, you know you get the whole check...I'm female! I'm not permitted to have property!

Share it? You silly creature, you know you get the whole check...I'm female! I'm not permitted to have property!
Oh yes, of course! Silly me. Still, I'm allowed to buy you a drink for helping. See how kind your masculine lords are?

Oh yes, of course! Silly me. Still, I'm allowed to buy you a drink for helping. See how kind your masculine lords are?
I, for one, welcome our new UltraMasculine overlords. May death come swiftly to their enemies.

Ack, I'm going to catch Pervert Cooties! Quick, somebody stone me!!

I can get you stoned.