NationStates Jolt Archive

How?

I think I will be shot by someone I pissed off long ago.

a dog, a yellow vespa, and two goldfish will be involved
that's all I know...

Gored by a white-tailed deer while showimg my grandkid the ropes of hunting.
Or something like that.

I'll be poked in the leg with a sharpened umbrella that contains a pellet coated with Ricin.

Either that or a heart attack in bed someday.

You know, something unusual.

I will either live to be about 90 and die of dehydration after a fall when nobody remembers to check on me, or I will have a heart attack at a young age.

My doctor is leaning to me having the heart attack, so I suppose those pancakes for breakfast weren't a great idea.........oh, well, off to the gym to try and burn it off..........

I'll be poked in the leg with a sharpened umbrella that contains a pellet coated with Ricin.

Either that or a heart attack in bed someday.

You know, something unusual.
Death by eating veal?

I think I'll die in a stand off with the police after totally flipping out and wreaking havoc at my current place of employment.

How?

I think I will be shot by someone I pissed off long ago.
"There's only one proper way for a professional soldier to die: from the last bullet of the last battle of the last war." - General George S. Patton

I think I'll die in a stand off with the police after totally flipping out and wreaking havoc at my current place of employment.
You need to read my latest book then:

Wreaking Havoc for Fun and Profit! :D

Death by eating veal?
No, no! Death by stereo is the only way to go! :D

You need to read my latest book then:

Wreaking Havoc for Fun and Profit! :D

:eek: Where can I get it?!?

I'm pretty sure it is going to involve some sort of zombie siege...

:eek: Where can I get it?!?
It's a limited edition. First you have to send me $100 in cash or a money order. :D

I guess I'll have to rely on my own methods.

After a stint in the Chicago mobster underworld from 2026-2033, I will have written a tell-all book about the backroom dealings involving mobsters and the mayor of Rockford, Illinois, and will be brutally murdered by Frankie "Whitenose" Adams on the ides of March in 2034, after I reveal his true identity in my publication.

That's Easy. Suicide By Fire.

No, no! Death by stereo is the only way to go! :D
Sounds like that would take a while.

Sounds like that would take a while.
Not if the stereo is large enough and it falls on you.

I will probably die from gunshot or knife wounds, my luck can only last but so long.

Sounds like that would take a while.
Not if all it plays is old Wayne Newton recordings! :D

I will either get hit by a bus that gives me cancer, die in a brutal fire caused by myself, or get killed by my girlfriend. The third one is most likely to happen.

Not if all it plays is old Wayne Newton recordings! :D
Ewwwwwwwww.

Ewwwwwwwww.
I rest my case! :D

I will be abducted by aliens, who only want to discuss Earth literature with me. Unfortunately, their spaceship will crash on a planet inhabited by space-pirate prarie-dogs who will take me prisoner. After I escape during an assault by inter-dimensional ninjas, I will steal a ship and fly away. However, the engine will fall off, and I will crash into an asteroid. I will repair the engines and attach them to the asteroid and triumphantly return to earth, where I will die of an ingrown toenail, the instant I set foot on Terra-Firma. Isn't it funny how the morbid threads end up being so silly?

Isn't it funny how the morbid threads end up being so silly?
It's an attempt to defuse an uncomfortable subject. :)

Especially since it's coming from me. My threads either end in confusion or mod lock.

Well after two very succesful terms as President of the United States, in which time many reforms were brought around and honesty was reinstilled into the government, I will be asked to lead the newly formed North Atlantic Union, a spin off of the EU. Religious zealots will then form conspiracy theories that I am anti-christ,which is very laughable considering I am a faithful Christian, and then I will be assassinated by a young impressionable white male hoping to preserve the world from the apocalypse. After that my Deputy Leader will take charge, and then every one will realize he is the anti-christ and then you can hear me laugh from the grave as all hell breaks loose..

Now I don't know if that will really happen, but that would be like hella kewl.

Impaled on a guitar as the finale to a strange weekend of drunken debauchery.

What else?

I will be executed for treason against the New World Order.

I will execute Newtsburg for treason against the new world order, but then I will forget which cup I didn't put poison in when I later meet up with a "friend."

I will be executed for treason against the New World Order.


Ahh you'd be the crazy religious zealot that assassinates me. Silly goose.

I'll die in a bayonet fight, defending a barricade with my comrades, with saber in other and red-black flag in the other hand, my last words beeing "LONG LIVE THE ANARCHOSYNDICALIST WORLD REVOLUTION!".

Now, the question is, who of you will be the man in the other end of the rifle that baynoed that goes through my heart is attached?

I'll die in a bayonet fight, defending a barricade with my comrades, with saber in other and red-black flag in the other hand, my last words beeing "LONG LIVE THE ANARCHOSYNDICALIST WORLD REVOLUTION!".

Now, the question is, who of you will be the man in the other end of the rifle that baynoed that goes through my heart is attached?
Can it be me? Nothing personal, I just think bayoneting people is cool.

I just think bayoneting people is cool.
No, it's not.

On a rice-paddy somewhere in China, obviously. I'll get drafted for the war, and get shot by some crazy Red Guard.

No, it's not.
Have you seen it?

Have you seen it?
He very well might have.

On my 35th birthday my lungs, heart and liver will revolt against me for years of torturing them and will kill me slowly over a period of about 2 days

Have you seen it?

He's probably done it a time or two.

Stabbed to death with a dildo on broad daylight in Central Park, NY.

Stabbed to death with a dildo on broad daylight in Central Park, NY.

Just like grandpa .... :( ... thanks for opening old wounds ...

Stabbed to death with a dildo on broad daylight in Central Park, NY.

You can't stab people with dildos, unless they already come with holes in them.

He very well might have.
That's why I asked.

I really hope that I will die in such a way that will leave no corpse.

Drowning in a pool of quicksand seems ideal.

Barring that, I'd like to go in a way that truly boggles the minds of everyone on Earth.

Imagine this:Just before the Space Shuttle launches, I stand under the main rocket nozzle holding a marshmallow on a stick.

The World will throw fits! :D

You can't stab people with dildos, unless they already come with holes in them.

You, my friend, use the wrong dildos then.

You, my friend, use the wrong dildos then.

Or the right ones. Depending on your perspective. :)

You can't stab people with dildos, unless they already come with holes in them.
Have you ever seen anyone without a hole of any kind?

Me neither.

Dildostabbing is a perfectly realistic option.

Have you ever seen anyone without a hole of any kind?


Yes.

And once Lunatic Goofballs gets at a person with superglue, you will too.

Yes.

And once Lunatic Goofballs gets at a person with superglue, you will too.
What was his name?

A heart attack at age 77. I had a recurring dream where I saw myslef in the coffin, white satin inside, my hair was short and curly, and I was slightly on the heavy side, but not unhealthily so. I had three kids, two boys and a girl and about seven grandkids at the funeral. And it was late summer, sun streaming through the stained glass windows of the church. It was freaky, and I had it on and off for about three years, same people, same age, same coffin, same everything. I've got another 51 years to go... :eek:

Yes.

And once Lunatic Goofballs gets at a person with superglue, you will too.
Now now. I left a nostril open. I'm barbaric, not psychopatic. :p

Now now. I left a nostril open. I'm barbaric, not psychopatic. :p

OK, now tickle him and watch him squirm

in my sleep

Here's how it's going to go.

1. I'll go to a tall building
2. I'll wrap a piano wire around my neck, and attach a bungee chord to my ankles.
3. Glue hands to head.
4. Have someone push me off and then take a picture for a future "Kodak Moment."

This will result in me falling, and while I fall the piano wire should slice my head off, but since my hands are still glued to my head, they will be holding it.
The end result should be me danging upside down holding my own severed head.

Sleeping pills are my favourite option at the moment... ;)

suddenly

A local vigilante group will attack me, eventually burning me to death in my home...

Sleeping pills are my favourite option at the moment... ;)

You, my friend, use the wrong dildos then.

I only use the dildos I'd use myself.

Have you ever seen anyone without a hole of any kind?

Me neither.

Dildostabbing is a perfectly realistic option.

See, "the little death/la petite mort" is just a euphemism. You don't actually die.

Probably by riding a supermarket trolley at high speed into the aforementioned supermarket's "sharp, pointy objects" shelf.

However, it is often said that life is defined by how many other lives you touch, so I want to die in a way that will traumatise as many people as possible. Exploding suddenly in a crowded room (not suicide-bomber type explosion, water-baloon type explosion) sounds good.

However, it is often said that life is defined by how many other lives you touch, so I want to ...

I was worried that the completion of the sentence was going to be:
"touch as many people as possible"
:D

if i keep my current diet, i'll probably suffer a massive myocardial infarction... buy the farm thereof.

something to do with something.

I don't know how i will die. I just hope it will be funny.

I took a silly test once that said God was going to turn me into a pillar of salt......I'm sticking to that one. That is how I am going to die, by being turning into a pillar of salt!

:D

Depends whether fundamentalism dies out or takes over.

A tradgedy in the lab

I accidentaly manage to breed the worlds first exploding apple

however the knoledge is lost to science (as is me, the lab and most of the surounding area...) very quickly

I always though dying on the toilet would be amusing. kinda like elvis sans the bible.

A great-aunt of mine apperantly died during sunday dinner. She fell face-first into her bowl of soup. Now there's a way to go....

I'll probably be gored by a Pirate riding a Narwhale. Then my carcass will be eaten by Walrus.

Executed, to serve as an example to others not to question our new robotic overlords.

I'll probably be gored by a Pirate riding a Narwhale. Then my carcass will be eaten by Walrus.
That's the leading cause of death for people aged 16 to 37 in Western Europe.

Im probably gonna die in a lot of pain. I just know it.

Killed by my Macaroni Penguin cyborg.

Happy. :)

How?

I think I will be shot by someone I pissed off long ago.

Whilst being fellated by Miss World, i'll crash my Lear Jet.

At age 107.

edit: messily. painfully. and the worst thing is, i'll have to be there.