NationStates Jolt Archive

Hi everybody,

Me: It is my privilege to introduce Jane and Dick, the supreme Gods of the Universe. Jane and Dick have kindly agreed to spend a bit of their precious time to talk to us today. So first, a few words from the Gods themselves!

Dick: Hello mere mortals, I'm Dick, but you can call me the Supreme Creator of the Universe. 15 billion years ago, I created this Universe with one solid explosion. I like explosions so much I keep some exploding galaxies even today. I designed every friggin' quark in your pathetic bodies so you'd do good to give me some respect, kiddo.

Jane: Hello my wonderful creations, I am Jane, your loving Life-giver. I was created by Dick to help him administer the Universe, but, annoyed by his control-freak ways, I invented Life just to add some unpredictability into his Universe.

Dick: Hey!

Jane: As I was saying, I seeded the first self-replicating complex system, using all of the horribly restraining rules that Dick wrote, and voila! I created Emergence. From a difficult start, Life has flourished! And I intend to keep it this way. Whatever Dick does, I will always do one better! What do you say to that, Dick?

Dick: Let's not forget that I made you. And that you have to follow every physical law that I created in this Universe. So we'll see about that!

Me: Okay guys, let's keep it cool for now. This a rare opportunity to talk to the Gods folks. The lines are now open!

Make a website and a holy book, already.

Make a website and a holy book, already.

Just make sure it isn't edited by a Paul/Saul figure after about fifty years so that it fits his own prejeudices...

we've been in that mess for way too long.

Make a website and a holy book, already.

Dick: You mean that Flying Spaghetti Monster nonsense? Blasphemous! If not for the fact that I have to comply with the physical laws I wrote, I would have smote them immediately. If they ever stood on a hill on stormy day, though, heh heh heh...

Jane: Stop it Dick. My wonderful creatures are discovering Emergence! One day they may become like me, wise, beautiful and creative!

As creators of the universe, I think you could have invented more interesting names for yourselves. Dick & Jane are pretty boring.

As creators of the universe, I think you could have invented more interesting names for yourselves. Dick & Jane are pretty boring.

Me: Actually the names Jane and Dick were derived from Absentia's post in another thread.

Dick and Jane!

See Dick. See Dick create. Create, Dick, create!

See Jane. See Jane complicate. Complicate, Jane, complicate!

[ While(UniverseNotDead) ]
See Dick. See Dick react. React, Dick, react!

See Jane. See Jane react. React, Jane, react!
[ WEnd ]

Me: Of course Jane and Dick are just human translations of their real names. Dick actually calls Jane "Miserable Wench" and Jane calls Dick "Control-freak".

Dick: Careful, mere mortal! What I call that miserable wench is my friggin' Business!

Jane: [mumbles] freak.

Dick: Whad'ja say?

Jane: Nuttin'

Is dick doing jane then?

Is dick doing jane then?

I think the technical term is "dick is begetting with jane"

Is dick doing jane then?

Dick: How dare you show such disrespect! I dare you to lean further out of your friggin' window, you ungrateful...

Jane: Relax, Dick. Everybody's doing everybody.

Dick: They are?

Jane: Yup. It's a Bobby Brown song.

Dick: How dare you show such disrespect! I dare you to lean further out of your friggin' window, you ungrateful...

Jane: Relax, Dick. Everybody's doing everybody.

Dick: They are?

Jane: Yup. It's a Bobby Brown song.

You think the female impulse of the supreme being knows Bobby Brown numbers?

I don't know whats more scary, that you believe it, or that you could be correct.

You think the female impulse of the supreme being knows Bobby Brown numbers?

I don't know whats more scary, that you believe it, or that you could be correct.

Me: Actually, heh heh, this question is for Jane.

Jane: Of course I know all of your human songs, past and present. [Flings beautiful multi-colored hair over her shoulder] I am pluripresent, pluripotent and pluriscient. In fact I am present at every mating, hoping for a successful conception!

Dick: [mumbles] not if I can help it...

Jane: Ah the glorious unions! Is it more scary that I watch every do that you do, or is more scary that you like it like that? [Winks seductively]

Me: Actually, heh heh, this question is for Jane.

Jane: Of course I know all of your human songs, past and present. [Flings beautiful multi-colored hair over her shoulder] I am pluripresent, pluripotent and pluriscient. In fact I am present at every mating, hoping for a successful conception!

Dick: [mumbles] not if I can help it...

Jane: Ah the glorious unions! Is it more scary that I watch every do that you do, or is more scary that you like it like that? [Winks seductively]

Dick: i'm just trying to think of a pun involving "Candy Girl"