NationStates Jolt Archive

This is just a rant that I felt like I needed to get off my chest, so you don't have to read it if you don't.


As you all know I've been single for 3 years. My last relationship ended with an explosion worthy to rival with the atomic bomb. My life is good, I mean I'm doing good in the University, I have alot of friends, good family, and I enjoy my hobby of flying. I thank God and Jesus everyday for allowing me to have such a good life, and yet, something is missing. It gets kind of depressing coming home to an empty apartment after awhile. I could deal with being lonely as long as I had Sara (my Siamese cat), but since she passed away, I dunno. On Monday I got a called from one of my ex. She's now married and with a daughter. I'm happy for her, really. However, I now notice that all of my exs are either engaged or married. I'm starting to look within myself, seeing that maybe it's my fault that the relationship didn't work. I don't know, sometimes I'm happy to be single, I'm happy for the freedom, and yet. Other times, I wouldn't mind having someone to share my life with, to laugh with, to cry with etc. I know, I know, I'm bitching and I'm sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself. I just don't get it though, I mean if all of my exs found their true love, if all my family members found true love, and hell if even the Klansman down the street got married, then what the hell is going on? *sigh* I really need a co-pilot, or another cat.

my .02.

Stop looking. Live life with a passion. You might be surprised what happens after that.

I wasn't looking for a mate and decided to be single for the rest of my life when I met my wife.....

my .02.

Stop looking. Live life with a passion. You might be surprised what happens after that.

I wasn't looking for a mate and decided to be single for the rest of my life when I met my wife.....

Sounds good to me.

This is just a rant that I felt like I needed to get off my chest, so you don't have to read it if you don't.


As you all know I've been single for 3 years. My last relationship ended with an explosion worthy to rival with the atomic bomb. My life is good, I mean I'm doing good in the University, I have alot of friends, good family, and I enjoy my hobby of flying. I thank God and Jesus everyday for allowing me to have such a good life, and yet, something is missing. It gets kind of depressing coming home to an empty apartment after awhile. I could deal with being lonely as long as I had Sara (my Siamese cat), but since she passed away, I dunno. On Monday I got a called from one of my ex. She's now married and with a daughter. I'm happy for her, really. However, I now notice that all of my exs are either engaged or married. I'm starting to look within myself, seeing that maybe it's my fault that the relationship didn't work. I don't know, sometimes I'm happy to be single, I'm happy for the freedom, and yet. Other times, I wouldn't mind having someone to share my life with, to laugh with, to cry with etc. I know, I know, I'm bitching and I'm sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself. I just don't get it though, I mean if all of my exs found their true love, if all my family members found true love, and hell if even the Klansman down the street got married, then what the hell is going on? *sigh* I really need a co-pilot, or another cat.
Well i don't really know almost anything about you, but i'll give it a shot.
In my experience, EVERYONE has a varying degree of loneliness ... they deal with it over the course of the day, the week, the month, the season, and the year, all of which going over differently and in different intensity for depending on the person.
Most of all loneliness seems to be the inability to be accepted by someone else ... for reasons of your own isolation or their unwillingness to share.
When you share honesty, you share integrity, and frankly, that's probably about the most important thing you should be concerned about when you're talking about spending the rest of your life with someone else.

maybe your standards are too high. I have recently decided to reconcile with my ex...which I wasn't sure I would do until she broached the subject. That was my problem my standards are a little high.

maybe your standards are too high. I have recently decided to reconcile with my ex...which I wasn't sure I would do until she broached the subject. That was my problem my standards are a little high.

*sigh
That seems to be my problem as well...

If your loneliness is primarily attributed to your singleness, have you tried internet dating sites? Seriously. I suppose there's still some stigma attached to them, but I really don't see why; you can determine how much you have in common with a person before even meeting them, a better scenario in most cases (in my eyes anyway) than meeting someone in a crowded and noisy bar/club. It's not a guarantee of a long lasting relationship, but it's a start.

I met my boyfriend of nearly three years this way. We're moving in together soon. There are some dodgy characters about on the internet (as I once discovered myself), but if you take things slowly and learn about each other, it can be a positive thing.

Good luck, whatever happens. I know it's cliched, but just be yourself and you stand a great chance of meeting someone who likes you.

If your loneliness is primarily attributed to your singleness, have you tried internet dating sites? Seriously. I suppose there's still some stigma attached to them, but I really don't see why; you can determine how much you have in common with a person before even meeting them, a better scenario in most cases (in my eyes anyway) than meeting someone in a crowded and noisy bar/club. It's not a guarantee of a long lasting relationship, but it's a start.

I met my boyfriend of nearly three years this way. We're moving in together soon. There are some dodgy characters about on the internet (as I once discovered myself), but if you take things slowly and learn about each other, it can be a positive thing.

Good luck, whatever happens. I know it's cliched, but just be yourself and you stand a great chance of meeting someone who likes you.know any good sites for someone who is shy and.. well geeky.

Don't get me wrong, While I do love my single life, there are times when I do find myself...

well, yeah. Alone.

know any good sites for someone who is shy and.. well geeky.

Don't get me wrong, While I do love my single life, there are times when I do find myself...

well, yeah. Alone.

Well, this site might work. Look at Pure Metal and Glitziness...
We could open a thread for dating, but after my recent run-in with the mods, I think I should lie low on that for a while...

Well, this site might work. Look at Pure Metal and Glitziness...
We could open a thread for dating, but after my recent run-in with the mods, I think I should lie low on that for a while...well, as long as we keep it civil and move anything... heated into either e-mail or IM...

we try to do it that way in PBC.

know any good sites for someone who is shy and.. well geeky.The site we met on was perfect for such types (my boyfriend especially is shy, and we're both really geeky :)), but sadly it's gone now :( It was local to Northern Ireland anyway.

I'm still a member of www.makefriendsonline.com - it facilitates meetings for both romance and friendships. www.match.com is the biggest dating website as far as I know, and is international - with a site that big, there's bound to be plenty of understanding, nerdy types there.

Even if there's not a potential partner about, you never know, might be some new friends :)

well, as long as we keep it civil and move anything... heated into either e-mail or IM...

we try to do it that way in PBC.

PBC?

PBC?
Paradise Beach Club (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=462248)

Well, this site might work. Look at Pure Metal and Glitziness...
i was about to say that any site with a half decent community could work... and say this one was pretty good, but you beat me to it :p

i would agree, though i have impossibly limited experience, with what The Black Forrest said. if you're actively looking then you might appear desperate and thats not exactly a turn-on. this might be why a lot of lonely people get told 'love will come your way when you least expect it' (or words to that effect)... i mean, my experience was that i'm 20 years old and i'd never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl, i was fucking lonely and all my friends kept getting girlfriends (ok, not married but still) around me, so i gave up on ever finding anyone, gave up on finding love or anything like that. then, out of the blue, something became of one of the friendships i had on the internet, and its great. my point is you never know whats round the corner so don't give up hope and just be yourself

Yea, I'm just glad none of my ex's have invited me to their weddings. Eh, I've looked for the first year of my singlehood, but for the past 2 years, I've basically just been chatting with diffrent people, not really looking for a hook up.