NationStates Jolt Archive


Hello, police dispatch? Someone stole my weed!

Drunk commies deleted
02-02-2006, 16:47
Ok, here's proof that weed causes brain damage. Some moron in Utah called the police to report that he weed had been stolen. WTF? Who is that stupid? It's got to be the drugs.

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635180743,00.html
Corneliu
02-02-2006, 16:52
Ok, here's proof that weed causes brain damage. Some moron in Utah called the police to report that he weed had been stolen. WTF? Who is that stupid? It's got to be the drugs.

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635180743,00.html

LMAO!

Now that's funny! Funniest thing I've read all morning.
German Nightmare
02-02-2006, 17:00
Stoners... Always good for a laugh :D

By the way: The article talked about "drug free zones". Does that mean there are "drug zones" as well?!?
Letila
02-02-2006, 17:00
Damn, that is dumb.:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Tweedlesburg
02-02-2006, 17:13
That happens more often than you would think. There was a story like that in the Darwin Awards too.
Drunk commies deleted
02-02-2006, 17:15
Stoners... Always good for a laugh :D

By the way: The article talked about "drug free zones". Does that mean there are "drug zones" as well?!?
Not really. They just tend to nail your balls to the floor a little harder if you posses drugs within a certain distance of a school.
Kryozerkia
02-02-2006, 17:21
Valuable lesson, always keep an emergency bud because you never know when you're going to smoke it all up. :p
Deep Kimchi
02-02-2006, 17:24
He's not half as stupid as this guy...

http://www.wtopnews.com/index.php?nid=25&sid=685227

WTOP Radio has learned that the prisoner being transported to D.C. Superior court Tuesday morning didn't make it into the court room Tueday. As the prison bus was being unloaded in the underground garage of the court at around 8:20 a.m., he climbed under the bus, and somehow secured himself to the bus's under-carriage.

Law sources say as the bus left the courthouse and was heading into the southbound ramp of the tunnel, the prisoner fell, and was struck and killed by a commuter van.

Actually, friends on the scene tell me that three or four cars in addition to the van ran over him in rapid succession.

He was up on fairly minor charges - one wonders why such an escape attempt was warranted.
Syniks
02-02-2006, 17:25
Ok, here's proof that weed causes brain damage. Some moron in Utah called the police to report that he weed had been stolen. WTF? Who is that stupid? It's got to be the drugs.

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635180743,00.html
I've actually had that happen to me.

I was working security at a video game parlor in Anchorage when I found an unattended duffle bag. Per protocol, the manager & I opened the bag looking for ID and found roughly a lid & some papers but no ID.

Given that Possession in Anchorage earned the equivelent of a parking ticket, wr decided to simply turn the bag over to the police (also protocol) and call it good, so I placed a "retrieve unclaimed narcotics" call and called it good.

Fast forward to about an hour later. Here I am, in uniform, gun and all, and this stoner walks up to me asking if I'd found his duffle - 'cause he needed his weed. :rolleyes:

I told him yes, and that while I wasn't going to arrest him, per policy, he could have his bag back (sans pot), that I was going to have to escort him off the grounds for possession, that he would be permenantly barred from reentry.

He complied, but somewhere between the time when we were retreiving his bag and I was to give him his "official" "Don't come back" papers he had a bout of paranoia and decided that I was going to renig or somthing.

So the Idiot assaults the floor manager and bolts for the door.

NOW he has done somthing worthy of my limited arrest powers, so I caught & restrained him (semi-non-violently) and hauled him into the security cage just about the time the police showed up to pick up his pot.

Turns out he was wanted on 2 felony counts anyway, so all ended well. :D

Moral - Stoner Paranoia and Law Enforcement don't mix. ;)
Cheese penguins
02-02-2006, 17:26
One word for this. Idiot. ahh i needed a laugh.:)
JuNii
02-02-2006, 17:28
Ok, here's proof that weed causes brain damage. Some moron in Utah called the police to report that he weed had been stolen. WTF? Who is that stupid? It's got to be the drugs.

http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635180743,00.html
damn... reminds me of a story I read in a collection of stupid crooks.

The cops were done busting a home for selling weed. out front there were cop cars lining the street. the weapons and evidence were out on the lawn, there were cops, in uniform, all over the place. admist all of this, a car pulls up and this guy steps out. looking at one of the uniformed officers, he asks "hey, they still selling drugs here?"
The cop pauses... looks at his uniform... looks at the cop cars with their lights flashing, then replies "uh... yeah... go around back."
so the druggie goes around while the cop radios the plain clothes officer inside.

so at the back door, the undercover officer opens the door...
"hey I wanna buy some weed"
"uh... sure... you got the cash?"
"yep..." Hands over some dough. (can't remember how much) so the undercover officer goes inside, grabs a ziplock and from the evidence pile, puts what he thinks is the appropriate amout.
"WOW man, thanks... hey, where's Doug?"
"Oh, he had to run an errand, he told be to handle business while he's out."
"Cool man."
the buyer leaves only to be nabbed by the waiting officers. while they're handcuffing him, another car pull up and someone else inquires if they could by weed there.

after a while they nabbed 4-6 people that afternoon.

trying to find the account of this story on line.
Kanabia
02-02-2006, 17:30
He's a moron. Doesn't mean that all users are.
German Nightmare
02-02-2006, 17:50
Not really. They just tend to nail your balls to the floor a little harder if you posses drugs within a certain distance of a school.
While I don't want my balls nailed anywhere, I now know! Thanks :D
Avika
02-02-2006, 17:54
This reminds me of this crack dealer who had business cards. He even gave one to an officer. This was on the local news, so I don't have a link. If you have to tell an officer that you are selling a banned toxin, don't give him your address or phone number. As Napoleon Dynamite once said: idiot.
Minoriteeburg
02-02-2006, 18:01
LMAO!

Now that's funny! Funniest thing I've read all morning.


LMFAO!:D

seriously is. I always take joy in reading other peoples stupidity.
Kanabia
02-02-2006, 18:02
This reminds me of this crack dealer who had business cards. He even gave one to an officer. This was on the local news, so I don't have a link. If you have to tell an officer that you are selling a banned toxin, don't give him your address or phone number. As Napoleon Dynamite once said: idiot.

That's not unheard of, but they don't print "Joe Dealer: Cocaine Supplier Extraordinaire" on them. They have some bogus business address and a mobile phone number on them - anyone can get a few hundred cards done for a cheap price. It is a little weird, but I think it's probably mostly a precautionary thing - if the police spring someone who has just bought some drugs and find a phone number in their pocket...at least then the dealer can pretend to be legitimate if they follow up on investigating that. And there probably aren't any laws in place preventing you from saying you run a publishing business when you don't.
Newtsburg
02-02-2006, 18:55
They could probably get you on some wierd thing from racketerring laws or the patriot act.
Drunk commies deleted
02-02-2006, 19:03
They could probably get you on some wierd thing from racketerring laws or the patriot act.
No, they might try to get you on RICO laws. They are much shadier than anything in the Patriot act, but since they only target Italian-American businessmen, and sometimes a Latin-American businessman plus some anti-abortion protestors, nobody seems to care.

http://www.independent.org/publications/tir/article.asp?issueID=38&articleID=215
Liverbreath
02-02-2006, 19:13
This reminds me of this crack dealer who had business cards. He even gave one to an officer. This was on the local news, so I don't have a link. If you have to tell an officer that you are selling a banned toxin, don't give him your address or phone number. As Napoleon Dynamite once said: idiot.

That one happened in Leavenworth. http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/news/state/13677059.htm

With 5 prisons in the area it's not much of a surprise really.