NationStates Jolt Archive

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about four months, but its been a very good match between us and we're both deeply in love with each other. Over christmas break, I told her I was quitting smoking. I came back to school, finished the pack I was on, and then quit cold turkey for a week. Tonight, I was out at dinner with one of my friends who smokes, he offered a cigg and I took it and smoked.

I did that once before as well.

My girlfriend says that when that happens it makes her feel like I've slapped her in the face because I've told her I won't smoke, then I go out and smoke. I also smoke weed about once a week, and am working on quitting that as well, but I do have a small amount left to finish off.

I want to know from all of the ex-smokers here what you found works the best to stave off cravings, how you deal with being around smokers now, in general, how you went about keeping your promise to yourself.

I don't want to feel like I've betrayed my girlfriend again because she is one of the sweetest people on the face of the planet and I feel like shit eveytime I hurt her.

If anyone else has their two cents to chuck in, please do. Just let me know about anything that you do that keeps you away from drugs, smoking, whatever you consider bad habits.



Thanks All,
Blarg

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about four months, but its been a very good match between us and we're both deeply in love with each other. Over christmas break, I told her I was quitting smoking. I came back to school, finished the pack I was on, and then quit cold turkey for a week. Tonight, I was out at dinner with one of my friends who smokes, he offered a cigg and I took it and smoked.

I did that once before as well.

My girlfriend says that when that happens it makes her feel like I've slapped her in the face because I've told her I won't smoke, then I go out and smoke. I also smoke weed about once a week, and am working on quitting that as well, but I do have a small amount left to finish off.

I want to know from all of the ex-smokers here what you found works the best to stave off cravings, how you deal with being around smokers now, in general, how you went about keeping your promise to yourself.

I don't want to feel like I've betrayed my girlfriend again because she is one of the sweetest people on the face of the planet and I feel like shit eveytime I hurt her.

If anyone else has their two cents to chuck in, please do. Just let me know about anything that you do that keeps you away from drugs, smoking, whatever you consider bad habits.



Thanks All,
Blarg
Take a lesson from Robin Williams.... I forget the movie.

If you are a smoker, *BE* a smoker. Don't pretend to be a non-smoker, that's just detrimental to your mental health. Be what your nature dictates you are.

Now, trying to change your nature, that's another thing, and takes LOTS of drugs.

Most importantly, don't tell her what you're pretending to be, just tell her what you are.

The issue is I am not really a smoker, I enjoy too many outside physical activites to smoke and still do those. I started mostly because my friends smoked and then I became addicted. I want to quit, but getting away from the addiction when your roommate smokes and when a lot of your friends smoke is a hard thing to do.

Just tell her you're trying and doing pretty well, a smoke every now and then really isn't too bad.

You're not fucking up the relationship, you're quitting a physical and psychological addiction and she's not giving you enough support.

The issue is I am not really a smoker, I enjoy too many outside physical activites to smoke and still do those. I started mostly because my friends smoked and then I became addicted. I want to quit, but getting away from the addiction when your roommate smokes and when a lot of your friends smoke is a hard thing to do.
Wait a sec... are you claiming addiction isn't something YOU do?

Wait a sec... are you claiming addiction isn't something YOU do?
No, an addiction is something that you have to do. Trying to quit an addiction, not doing the thing that you want to, is the hard part. I'm tired of smoking, I don't enjoy it anymore, I used to be very physical and once I started to smoke, that went away. I'm just now getting back into doing a lot of physical activity, but I can't do both.

I quit the first time after about 4 years of smoking, stayed off smokes for a couple of years, then went back for 8 months and then quit again for good, and now I've been smoke-free for 10 years.

I hated the fact that I couldn't control smoking once I decided I wanted to quit. Since I'm a rational type, I calculated how much I spent per year on smokes and when I saw it was around $1500, I figured there were better things I could do with that money.

The first time I resisted places where people smoked. Tell everyone you know you are quitting; some will be supportive and encourage you, and while others may laugh at you if you fail, this can strengthen your resolve the next time you quit. The second time, I was just so pissed off at having restarted that I decided I was throug. I threw half a carton in the trash and have never had a cigarette since.

Have you heard the joke: "Quitting smoking is easy... I've done it hundreds of times!" Well in a sense it's true. The last time is the hardest though, but for most of us, with enough resolve and support, quitting is possible.

No, an addiction is something that you have to do. Trying to quit an addiction, not doing the thing that you want to, is the hard part.
Funny; I thought that hard part was that the thing you want to do is the thing you're going to do.

I'm tired of smoking, I don't enjoy it anymore, I used to be very physical and once I started to smoke, that went away. I'm just now getting back into doing a lot of physical activity, but I can't do both.
There are things you regret; things you miss about 'yourself'; even, pray tell, things that you're going to get back once you quit.

It's the quitting that counts.

You don't "have to" do it --that implies fate (or God, if you believe in such) making you do it... when, really, there's no one else to blame but you.

Either be that addict, or be someone else.

Something I read once ... Never tried it since I'm not a smoker, so I don't know if it works or not, but it's probably worth a try.

Take a full pack of cigarettes, put all but one in the toilet but don't flush it. Take the last one and smoke it standing right there, as quickly as you can. After all, you don't want to enjoy your last smoke ever, do you? Then once you're done with it, put it in the toilet with all the others and flush the toilet.

Sounds kind of hokey, and it probably is. As I said, I've only heard about it (In a novel, so definitely not the most reliable source) but it might be worth a shot.

Either be that addict, or be someone else.

That was well said.

That was well said.
Okay, but a bit of advice: don't credit me, credit the writers for Robin Williams.

I think the movie was "Dead Again".

Edit: I can only say this, because I chose to be that addict.

It's good to have that authority. ;)

I've never taken up ciggs, nasty habit. I do smoke cigars on occasion and I have a pipe for tobacco but havn't smoked out of it in a long time. I feel those are a little better because they are much more infrequent usually and you don't actually breathe anything into your lungs. I also enjoy the ganj on occasion.

I've never been addicted to tobacco but I can tell you the real truth about vices. Sappy as it may be you don't need them anymore if your relationship is good enough. That is why you allow yourself to be whipped by your girlfriend so easily (come on you know it's true). Sure you would like to quit smoking but why would you without her to do it for? I say just think about her everytime you want to smoke and if that just isn't enough than dump her ass...haha kidding. But seriously she is the deterrent just don't let her beat you up too much over one cigg that just sounds like she's being controlling instead of supportive.

My girlfriend says that when that happens it makes her feel like I've slapped her in the face because I've told her I won't smoke,
I want to know from all of the ex-smokers here what you found works the best to stave off cravings, how you deal with being around smokers now, in general, how you went about keeping your promise to yourself.
Thanks All,
Blarg

First your girlfriend better should kick your ass because you have betrayed her...I know this situation :(
Second I tried hypnosys, it works for 4 month, but then my aunt has died and i bought a pack .... but i have learned something in hypnose : smoking is not an addiction, if you want you do not need to smoke...
i have days wher i smoke 1 cigarette and days where i smoke 10 , but if i want i stop it completly i do not need do smoke .... but at the moment i do not want it

Oh-kay... I've never smoked, so sorry, no helpful tips on how to quit it. But, seriously, while I can see your girlfriend being disappointed or even mad that you can't manage to quit, I can't see where she gets off to be personally offended and betrayed because you slipped.
Unless you keep telling her "My love for you is so strong & it's all I need to stop smoking right now! See? See? No cigarettes! You've done it! As long as I'll love you, I'll never smoke again!" there's really no reason for her to act all hurt.

Oh-kay... I've never smoked, so sorry, no helpful tips on how to quit it. But, seriously, while I can see your girlfriend being disappointed or even mad that you can't manage to quit, I can't see where she gets off to be personally offended and betrayed because you slipped.
Unless you keep telling her "My love for you is so strong & it's all I need to stop smoking right now! See? See? No cigarettes! You've done it! As long as I'll love you, I'll never smoke again!" there's really no reason for her to act all hurt.

What she (??) said.

Just stop doing it.

IF you really want to. Else you just have to be honest with yourself and say you want to smoke, so therefor you smoke

What she (??) said.
She, yes. (Completely off-topic: Whatever has become of that finger you smashed the other day? [/medical curiosity])

Speaking as a smoker...

Your friend never should have offered you that cigarette.
Especially, if he knew you were trying to quit.

Did you have to swear? :mad:

Did you have to swear? :mad:

Who are you, the Profanity Police?

(Completely off-topic: Whatever has become of that finger you smashed the other day? [/medical curiosity])

I just updated my thread.

Did you have to swear? :mad:
Swearing is part of communication. It expresses your emotions a lot better than "normal" words sometimes

I never really took up smoking - I have the odd J or four though - but this thread makes me feel like a ciggy for some reason.

Swearing is part of communication. It expresses your emotions a lot better than "normal" words sometimes

Fuckin' A.

Swearing is part of communication. It expresses your emotions a lot better than "normal" words sometimes
no it shows a lack of brains

no it show lack of inelligence
That's bullshit. Smart people swear too. I do. Or are you calling me dumb?

If it shows anything it's lack of "etiquette", which has very little use

PS: and kudos on the spelling :p

That's bullshit. Smart people swear too. I do. Or are you calling me dumb?

If it shows anything it's lack of "etiquette", which has very little use

PS: and kudos on the spelling :p


Or are you calling me dumb? No

no it shows a lack of brains

Not really. They tend to be very concise words. he could have said "I feel like someone who has done something very bad when I upset my girlfriend", but "I feel shit when I upset my girlfriend" (paraphrase, possibly) is much shorter, and therefore more efficient and smarter **nods**