NationStates Jolt Archive

I am a... forgiving individual, or at least im told so. Although this only reaches friends and lovers.

My question is... At what point would you Not forgive a lover?
Dumping you? Cheating on you? Disageeing with you?
Tell me your thoughts!

I'll forgive you...

I'll forgive, but won't forget :eek: :D

Also if you feel like it, use this for telling us how far youve forgiven someone.

I am a... forgiving individual, or at least im told so. Although this only reaches friends and lovers.

My question is... At what point would you Not forgive a lover?
Dumping you? Cheating on you? Disageeing with you?
Tell me your thoughts!
If I chose to love them, I wouldn't "dump" them under any circumstances.

I'll forgive, but won't forget :eek: :D
If you don't forget, I suggest that you've not forgiven. :p

I do not forgive people for cheating on me or using me.

If I chose to love them, I wouldn't "dump" them under any circumstances.

What if it would make them happier if you did!?! Hahah

I'll say that the furthest ive forgiven someone for is my current lover.
Treating me like crap
Insisting i dont tell any we're going out (3 months)
Cheating on me once (that i know of)
Losing her virginity in between the period where she dumped me and went back out with me. (a total period of 3 weeks) (... only guys can contemplate that one methinks)
Being perfect
and for making me depressed constantly.

...
Meh.

Incedently, who said they wouldnt forgive their partner for voicing their opinion on a TV show???? ... someone has problems.

If you don't forget, I suggest that you've not forgiven. :p
what? forgiveness causes amnesia?

you can forgive but not take the person back. there is no need to harbor anger and resentment for what they have done to you but there is also no need to keep subjecting yourself to it.

What if it would make them happier if you did!?! Hahah
I would like to think that the sort of woman I would develop a relationship with would be honest enough to tell me if she wanted to leave, or at least just leave. I wouldn't try to stop her if she did; I don't want anyone around me who would prefer to be elsewhere. :p

what? forgiveness causes amnesia?

you can forgive but not take the person back. there is no need to harbor anger and resentment for what they have done to you but there is also no need to keep subjecting yourself to it.
By all means learn from your experience, but if you can't forget the specific incident then chances are you haven't truly forgiven it. Perhaps it's just me, but I remember those times when I have hurt others far better than I remember those times when others have hurt me. Call it fault. :p

What if it would make them happier if you did!?! Hahah

I'll say that the furthest ive forgiven someone for is my current lover.
Treating me like crap
Insisting i dont tell any we're going out (3 months)
Cheating on me once (that i know of)
Losing her virginity in between the period where she dumped me and went back out with me. (a total period of 3 weeks) (... only guys can contemplate that one methinks)
Being perfect
and for making me depressed constantly.

...
Meh.

why are you still seeing her? if its not good for you, its not good.

If you don't forget, I suggest that you've not forgiven. :p
Learn from the past young man :p

Basically, I can forgive nearly everything if the person sincerely regret the wrong he/she did. When the person doesn't regret nor apologize, I'm less forgiving, but I still forgive a lot when things are either not important or were done without any intent to hurt.

What I can hardly forgive is a remorse-less evil-doers, someone who enjoys making others to suffer, or who uses other without caring at all for their feelings and sufferings.

What if it would make them happier if you did!?! Hahah

I'll say that the furthest ive forgiven someone for is my current lover.
Treating me like crap
Insisting i dont tell any we're going out (3 months)
Cheating on me once (that i know of)
Losing her virginity in between the period where she dumped me and went back out with me. (a total period of 3 weeks) (... only guys can contemplate that one methinks)
Being perfect
and for making me depressed constantly.

...
Meh.

There is a big difference between forgiving someone and dating a jackass.

I suggest you reflect upon whether or not this is actually the kind of person you want to date, not whether or not you should forgive them.

(BTW, always forgive everyone for everything, you don't do it for them, you do it for you. It's unhealthy to walk around all bitter and shit, and bearing grudges. Except the Germans. Those people have a lot to make up for.)

I still go out with her because she isnt always like this. Its just phase, it'll pass.

I still go out with her because she isnt always like this. Its just phase, it'll pass.

Then accept it for what it is, there is nothing really to forgive.

I forgive everything. It's one of the side-effects of low self-esteem.

I forgive everything. It's one of the side-effects of low self-esteem.

(smiles meeekly) frieend???

I still go out with her because she isnt always like this. Its just phase, it'll pass.
If you decide to forgive you have to forgive completely and never hold it against her or bring it up..... can you do that?

Learn from the past young man :p
Heh! He called me "young man!" :D

True, learn from the past, but toss transgressions against you into the sea of forgetfulness and remember them no more, Grasshopper! :p

If you decide to forgive you have to forgive completely and never hold it against her or bring it up..... can you do that?

i dont bring it up to her anyway. or to her friends. (peers into the crowd) Yeeeh im ready, but whats the furthest YOUVE forgiven someone for.

i dont bring it up to her anyway. or to her friends. (peers into the crowd) Yeeeh im ready, but whats the furthest YOUVE forgiven someone for.
I never had to.... For which I'm glad.

All I'm saying is: don't hold a grudge

I'm very forgiving, as well. If my dear one was to cheat on me, I would be heartbroken and might do something to myself, but I'd forgive her. I don't think she'd do that though.

She disagrees with me about music all the time, it's just a matter of taste, there's nothing really to forgive.

I'm not known as a forgiving person, so I really don't recommend using me as a guide.

That said, if someone cheats, the relationship ends. Period. What form that cheating takes may be up to discussion, but if you don't abide by the rules of the relationship, it's over and done with.

I still go out with her because she isnt always like this. Its just phase, it'll pass.

A recurring phase?


Many years ago,

I forgave my first girlfriend for using me and laughing at the love notes I had written to her by reading them aloud with her friends, but then

I tried to forgive her for cheating on me with an older married man, but she wasn't having it. She decided to move on...

At age 13 (she was 16), I was not wise enough to avoid the situation, but after being used and dumped, I left it alone...

Leave the phaser, you will feel better eventually!

i put most of those poll options up for a joke ;p

Cheating meaning sleeping with someone.
No not SLEEPING... Sleeeeping you know

A recurring phase?


Many years ago,

I forgave my first girlfriend for using me and laughing at the love notes I had written to her by reading them aloud with her friends, but then

I tried to forgive her for cheating on me with an older married man, but she wasn't having it. She decided to move on...

At age 13 (she was 16), I was not wise enough to avoid the situation, but after being used and dumped, I left it alone...

Leave the phaser, you will feel better eventually!

Its a LONG phase. She wasnt like this when we were friends.
(when i say friends i mean i talked to her occasionally and admired from a distance and had my friends go "...dude...just ask her out." but then the phase started. it'll end soon.

I would go pretty far to forgive someone. Though once those things begin to add up, it is a little bit harder to deal with. Certainly I would still love the person, but the forgiveness would ebb away until to stay in the posistion hurt more than to seperate from the one I loved.

I FORGIVE NOTHING!!! PERFECTION, OR DEATH!!! YOUR CHOICE!!!!!

Just kidding. I can forgive almost anything...



















Almost...:sniper:

Incedently, who said they wouldnt forgive their partner for voicing their opinion on a TV show????
Me, for one, if I loved someone, I would forgive them for anything, except making fun of Hustle or Law and Order: SVU. If you can't sit silently through the hour and allow me to lose myself in the personal turmoil of Stabler or relish in the successful maneuverings of Micky Briggs, then you are fucking out of my life.
And should you openly mock an episode, you are going down.
... someone has problems.
Na-uh, plenty of people build altars to Dick Wolf in the back of their closet and sacrifice small animals on the night of the full moon.

Random point. Forgiveness and maintaining a relationship aren't necessarily codependent. If a woman I was dating decided to go with someone else, I'd just say "Sorry I couldn't give you what you were looking for" and break it off. No hard feelings involved - her life is her choice. And if it turns out it really was just a brief mistake, then that's fine; I'd be quite happy to take her back. But there is a difference between being forgiving and being naive, and if there really is a trend, it's not too hard to figure out that the match isn't working.

Either way, she is who she is, and I either accept that or don't. Blame is never on her for the success of our relationship. 'tis a useful little mindset, I reckon.

I'd forgive pretty much everything.

In the poll, I said I wouldn't forgive treating me like crap, using me, cheating countless times (both options), and being evil.

But I'd probably forgive that, too. I'm stupid like that. :(


Perhaps it's just me, but I remember those times when I have hurt others far better than I remember those times when others have hurt me. It's not just you, Eutrusca, I'm totally like that. And I have to say, it sucks.

If a lover cheated on me, I'd [CENSORED].

Forgive for ctreating you like cr@p.