NationStates Jolt Archive

i beg you, its not too long. i need this one to be good because i havent been gretting such good grades in this class

1st paragraph:

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals greatly with one's need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing”. According to Martin, the theme deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did. The exception to this is Gordon, who also tends to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and doesn't seem to fit in with the other male characters which is actually the cause of his unhappiness. He doesn't associates himself with a group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the probability that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys in the story.

i beg you, its not too long. i need this one to be good because i havent been gretting such good grades in this class

1st paragraph:

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals largely with one's need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing." According to Martin, the theme deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did. The exception to this is Gordon, who also tends to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and doesn't seem to fit in with the other male characters, which is actually the cause of his unhappiness. He doesn't associate himself with a group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the probability that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys in the story.

see highlighted changes.

thanks. next paragraph:

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals greatly with one's need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing”. According to Martin, the theme deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did. The exception to this is Gordon, who also tends to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and doesn't seem to fit in with the other male characters which is actually the cause of his unhappiness. He doesn't associates himself with a group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the probability that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys in the story.

thanks. next paragraph:

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals greatly with one's need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing”. According to Martin, the theme deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did. The exception to this is Gordon, who also tends to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and doesn't seem to fit in with the other male characters which is actually the cause of his unhappiness. He doesn't associates himself with a group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the probability that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys in the story.

UM. that is the same paragraph. And don't rely on just my proofread.

whoops my bad, thanks for your help by the way. its 5 am, ive been working on this essay since yesterday afternoon. it took me this long because of its very confusing nature

The need for the characters to “seek consolation in their old buddies” (Martin 99) because of their confusion as to their identity is shown by the relationships between Key and Rose, and between Peter and Philip. In both of these relationships, the men share a common background. Key and Rose came from the military, whereas Philip and Peter both graduated from Yale. Philip and Peter have a great time causing mischief and see their companionship as the best time of their life. In Key's and Rose's instance, “they have their moment of 'glory' in leading the mob” (Martin 100) towards Edith's brother's house. This reflects back to their military time during which they fought in groups. They take comfort in this senseless violence and in traveling as a group because they have not yet adjusted to a new way of living, one in which they are alone. Gordon, on the other hand, doesn't act like the other characters in that he doesn't seem to fit in with anyone else. He separates himself from them, despite the fact that he shares a common origin with most of them, being that he graduated from Yale.

If you've got great grades so far then why do you need someone to proofread your essay? You're obviously doing well enough on your own. Do you not have any confidence in the work you produce?

actually i cant really say that ive been getting good grades or bad. he only gave us one essay back in which i got a c+ mostly because i didnt add a work cited page. for this essay, i kinda want to be sure of a good grade

eheh... well I wouldn't ask me to proof read your work then... I good way to proof read your own work is to read it out aloud. It causes you to be able to hear mistakes as well as see them. Also, if you have trouble reading a sentence out loud then you know you need to restructure it.

whoops my bad, thanks for your help by the way. its 5 am, ive been working on this essay since yesterday afternoon. it took me this long because of its very confusing nature

The need for the characters to “seek consolation in their old buddies” (Martin 99) because of their confusion as to their identity is shown by the relationships between Key and Rose and between Peter and Philip. In both of these relationships, the men share a common background. Key and Rose came from the military, whereas Philip and Peter both graduated from Yale. Philip and Peter have a great time causing mischief and see their companionship as the best time of their life. In the case of Key and Rose, “they have their moment of 'glory' in leading the mob” (Martin 100) towards Edith's brother's house. This reflects back to their military time during which they fought in groups. They take comfort in this senseless violence and in traveling as a group because they have not yet adjusted to a new way of living -- one in which they are alone. In contrast, Gordon doesn't act like the other characters in that he doesn't seem to fit in with anyone else. He separates himself from them, despite the fact that he shares a common origin with most of them, being that he graduated from Yale.

I'm confused by the last two sentences. You've said Gordon is different, but then you point out that he has the same connection as Philip and Peter.

Maybe try this: In contrast, Gordon doesn't seem to fit with anyone else. Despite the fact that he also graduated from Yale, Gordon seperates himself from the other characters.

BTW, It is 2:30am here and I just got back from a concert. So take my nits with a grain of salt.

Damn! Where was Nationstates when I was in school? :D

I'm confused by the last two sentences. You've said Gordon is different, but then you point out that he has the same connection as Philip and Peter.

Maybe try this: In contrast, Gordon doesn't seem to fit with anyone else. Despite the fact that he also graduated from Yale, Gordon seperates himself from the other characters.

BTW, It is 2:30am here and I just got back from a concert. So take my nits with a grain of salt.

thank you

The fact that Gordon doesn't attribute himself to a group can be symbolically interpreted as him being a homosexual. By having a different sexual preference from the other guys, he sees himself as different from them. Gordon's homosexuality tendencies are pointed out by Martin. According to Martin, he is “repuls[ed] at the thought of a woman” (Martin 100). This is in reference to the time that he described Jewel in a demeaning way. Another example of his homosexual tendencies would be when he likens his going insane to the “snapping... [of] little hooks on a dress” (Fitzgerald 244) inside of him. His likening his mind to that of hooks on a dress helps convey the message of his sexuality, which is different from the others. There are instances in this story which help

thank you

The fact that Gordon doesn't attribute himself to a group can be symbolically interpreted as him being a homosexual. By having a different sexual preference from the other guys, he sees himself as different from them. Gordon's homosexuality tendencies are pointed out by Martin. According to Martin, he is “repuls[ed] at the thought of a woman” (Martin 100). This is in reference to the time that he described Jewel in a demeaning way. Another example of his homosexual tendencies would be when he likens his going insane to the “snapping... [of] little hooks on a dress” (Fitzgerald 244) inside of him. His likening his mind to that of hooks on a dress helps convey the message of his sexuality, which is different from the others. There are instances in this story which help

Looks fine to me except the last sentence, which is obviously unfinished.

I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to do more.

Good luck.

Looks fine to me except the last sentence, which is obviously unfinished.

I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to do more.

Good luck.

thank you sooooooo much for your help. i owe you one

EDIT: and this is what i meant to say

There are also other instances in this story which offer clues of Gordon's homosexual nature.

thank you

The fact that Gordon doesn't attribute himself to a group can be symbolically interpreted as him being a homosexual. By having a different sexual preference from the other group members, he sees himself as different from them. Gordon's homosexuality tendencies are pointed out by Martin. According to Martin, he is “repuls[ed] at the thought of a woman” (Martin 100). This statement refers to the time that he described Jewel in a demeaning way. Another example of his homosexual tendencies would be when he likens his going insane to the “snapping... [of] little hooks on a dress” (Fitzgerald 244) inside of him. His likening his mind to that of hooks on a dress helps convey the message of his sexuality, which is different from the others. There are instances in this story which help

The bit about Gordon likening his mind to hooks on a dress conveying the message of his sexuality needs to be explained. Like, how does it convey the message? Why is it significant to the illumination of his sexual orientation?
I think the point you are getting at is the link between homosexuality and effeminate behaviour in males being brought to the fore by the image of the dress. You need to explain this.

The bit about Gordon likening his mind to hooks on a dress conveying the message of his sexuality needs to be explained. Like, how does it convey the message? Why is it significant to the illumination of his sexual orientation?
I think the point you are getting at is the link between homosexuality and effeminate behaviour in males being brought to the fore by the image of the dress. You need to explain this.

thanks for the help. im trying to offer up clues that he is a homosexual:

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals largely with one's need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing.” According to Martin, the theme deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did. The exception to this is Gordon, who also happens to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and does not seem to fit in with the other male characters which is actually the cause of his unhappiness. He does not associate himself with any person or group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the possibility that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys in the story.
Gordon and Philip are friends, even though they are mostly opposites in nature. Philip is described as being well groomed with a muscular build. His financial success is shown through the many expensive clothes strewed upon his bed, which Gordon inspects enviously. This is in great contrast to the description of Gordon, who wears worn out clothing and who looks very unhealthy. The scene in which they meet is very bizarre and sexual, as pointed out by Martin. Shortly after Gordon arrives, Phillip goes into the shower and reappears in the nude. This can be seen as a way of showing his superiority over Gordon in the sexual sense. This helps administer the fact that Phillip is a success, while Gordon is an outright failure both sexually and financially. The importance of this thinking lies in the fact that Gordon's sense of failure drives him to kill himself in the end.
The need for the characters to “seek consolation in their old buddies” (Martin 99) because of their confusion as to their identity is shown by the relationships between Key and Rose and Peter and Philip. In both of these relationships, the men share a common background. Key and Rose came from the military, whereas Philip and Peter both graduated from Yale. Philip and Peter have a great time causing mischief and see their companionship as the best time of their life. In the case of Key and Rose, “they have their moment of 'glory' in leading the mob” (Martin 100) towards Edith's brother's house. This reflects back to their military time during which they fought in groups. They take comfort in this senseless violence and in traveling as a group because they have not yet adjusted to a new way of living, one in which they are pretty much alone. In contrast, Gordon does not seem to fit with anyone else. Despite the fact that he also graduated from Yale, Gordon separates himself from the other characters.
The fact that Gordon does not attribute himself to a group can be symbolically interpreted as him having homosexual tendencies. By having a different sexual preference from the other men, he sees himself as different from them. Gordon's possible homosexuality is pointed out by Martin. According to Martin, he is “repuls[ed] at the thought of a woman” (Martin 100). This statement refers to the time that he described Jewel in a demeaning way. Another example of his homosexual tendencies would be when he likens his going insane to the “snapping... [of] little hooks on a dress” (Fitzgerald 244) inside of him. His likening his mind to that of hooks on a dress helps convey the message that his sexuality is different from the other men. There are also other instances in this story which offer clues of Gordon's homosexual nature.
The main characters in this story like to appear in groups, with the exception of Gordon. The men in these groups can associate with one another by the fact that they were from a similar school or were from the military. Gordon fits into both of these criteria, but fails to associate himself to any particular person or group of persons. He clearly sees himself as different, even though he can find a similarity with all of the characters. For example, he went to the same school as Philip, and he came from the military just as Key and Rose did, but he never relates to them. This eventually brings about a feeling of failure within him and results in him committing suicide. The fact that he wasn't able to associate himself with them offers the possibility that he has a different sexual preference.

im going to print this out at 7am, dont look at it past 645am because i dont want you to waste your time

What time is it now? (Where you are. Obviously, I know the time where I am :p )

625

OK. I'm reading it now, shouldn't take long.

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals largely with one's (Cut that apostrophe) need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing.” According to Martin, the theme (Not certain "theme" is the right word. Maybe "text" would be better, but I'm not 100% sure on that) deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did(I think this would read better as "others who have undergone the same major change as they have". Although I'm assuming that these others have already been through the process completely). The exception to this is Gordon, who also happens to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and does not seem to fit in with the other male characters which (It might be advisable to put a comma between those two) is actually(Sort of looks like a filler word. You could cut it out and not lose anything, and it would give you a tighter essay) the cause of his unhappiness. He does not associate himself with any person or group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the possibility that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys ("guys" feels a bit informal for an essay. Perhaps "men" would be better) in the story.


Gordon and Philip are friends, even though they are mostly opposites in nature. Philip is described as being well groomed with a muscular build. His financial success is shown through the many expensive clothes strewed upon his bed, which Gordon inspects enviously(Would it be a good idea to provide a quotation from the text here? I would think so, but I don't know how that works in the States). This is in great contrast to the description of Gordon, who wears worn out clothing and who(again, cutting this would tighten the essay) looks very unhealthy. The scene in which they meet is very bizarre and sexual, as pointed out by Martin(quotatation might be appropriate here, too). Shortly after Gordon arrives, Phillip goes into the shower and reappears in the nude. This can be seen as a way of showing his superiority over Gordon in the sexual sense. This helps administer the fact that Phillip is a success, while Gordon is an outright failure both sexually and financially. The importance of this thinking lies in the fact that Gordon's sense of failure drives him to kill himself in the end. (This is just one of the places where you have a lot of short sentences. it might read better with longer ones, but that's up to you)


The need for the characters to “seek consolation in their old buddies” (Martin 99) because of their confusion as to their identity is shown by the relationships between Key and Rose and Peter and Philip.(I'm assuming these come in two pairs, "Key and Rose", and "Peter and Philip", but that isn't clear. Try putting a comma after Rose) In both of these relationships, the men share a common background. Key and Rose came from the military, whereas Philip and Peter both graduated from Yale. Philip and Peter have a great time causing mischief and see their companionship as the best time of their life. In the case of Key and Rose, “they have their moment of 'glory' in leading the mob” (Martin 100) towards Edith's brother's house. This reflects back to their military time during which they fought in groups. They take comfort in this senseless violence and in traveling as a group because they have not yet adjusted to a new way of living, one in which they are pretty much alone. In contrast, Gordon does not seem to fit with anyone else. Despite the fact that he also graduated from Yale, Gordon separates himself from the other characters.


The fact that Gordon does not attribute himself to a group can be symbolically interpreted as him having homosexual tendencies. By having a different sexual preference from the other men, he sees himself as different from them. Gordon's possible homosexuality is pointed out by Martin. According to Martin, he is “repuls[ed] at the thought of a woman” (Martin 100). This statement refers to the time that he described Jewel in a demeaning way. Another example of his homosexual tendencies would be when he likens his going insane to the “snapping... [of] little hooks on a dress” (Fitzgerald 244) inside of him. His likening his mind to that of hooks on a dress helps convey the message that his sexuality is different from the other men. (I don't follow this. I suppose it's because a dress is a feminine piece of clothing, but you might want to state that. Also, doesn't that say something about the general perception of homosexuality in the text?)There are also other instances in this story which offer clues of Gordon's homosexual nature. (Might want to give examples)


The main characters in this story like to appear in groups, with the exception of Gordon. The men in these groups can associate with one another by the fact that they were from a similar school or were from the military. Gordon fits into both of these criteria, but fails to associate himself to(might look better as "with") any particular person or group of persons. He clearly sees himself as different, even though he can find a similarity with all of the characters. For example, he went to the same school as Philip, and he came from the military just as Key and Rose did, but he never relates to them. This eventually brings about a feeling of failure within him and results in him committing suicide. The fact that he wasn't able to associate himself with them offers the possibility that he has a different sexual preference.

***************************************

Well, that's what I think. I've underlined the bits I think need looking at, and bolded my comments.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Fitzgerald's “May Day” deals largely with one's (Cut that apostrophe) need to take condolence in others as pointed out in Martin's “Sexual and Group Relationship in 'May Day': Fear and Longing.” According to Martin, the theme (Not certain "theme" is the right word. Maybe "text" would be better, but I'm not 100% sure on that) deals with “the crisis of a male-bonding relationship” (Martin 99). All of the male characters in “May Day” try to associate themselves with others who underwent the same major change as they did(I think this would read better as "others who have undergone the same major change as they have". Although I'm assuming that these others have already been through the process completely). The exception to this is Gordon, who also happens to be the only unhappy one. He is alone throughout the story and does not seem to fit in with the other male characters which (It might be advisable to put a comma between those two) is actually(Sort of looks like a filler word. You could cut it out and not lose anything, and it would give you a tighter essay) the cause of his unhappiness. He does not associate himself with any person or group in this story because he sees himself as different from the others. This difference is most likely due to the possibility that he has a different sexual preference than the other guys ("guys" feels a bit informal for an essay. Perhaps "men" would be better) in the story.


Gordon and Philip are friends, even though they are mostly opposites in nature. Philip is described as being well groomed with a muscular build. His financial success is shown through the many expensive clothes strewed upon his bed, which Gordon inspects enviously(Would it be a good idea to provide a quotation from the text here? I would think so, but I don't know how that works in the States). This is in great contrast to the description of Gordon, who wears worn out clothing and who(again, cutting this would tighten the essay) looks very unhealthy. The scene in which they meet is very bizarre and sexual, as pointed out by Martin(quotatation might be appropriate here, too). Shortly after Gordon arrives, Phillip goes into the shower and reappears in the nude. This can be seen as a way of showing his superiority over Gordon in the sexual sense. This helps administer the fact that Phillip is a success, while Gordon is an outright failure both sexually and financially. The importance of this thinking lies in the fact that Gordon's sense of failure drives him to kill himself in the end. (This is just one of the places where you have a lot of short sentences. it might read better with longer ones, but that's up to you)


The need for the characters to “seek consolation in their old buddies” (Martin 99) because of their confusion as to their identity is shown by the relationships between Key and Rose and Peter and Philip.(I'm assuming these come in two pairs, "Key and Rose", and "Peter and Philip", but that isn't clear. Try putting a comma after Rose) In both of these relationships, the men share a common background. Key and Rose came from the military, whereas Philip and Peter both graduated from Yale. Philip and Peter have a great time causing mischief and see their companionship as the best time of their life. In the case of Key and Rose, “they have their moment of 'glory' in leading the mob” (Martin 100) towards Edith's brother's house. This reflects back to their military time during which they fought in groups. They take comfort in this senseless violence and in traveling as a group because they have not yet adjusted to a new way of living, one in which they are pretty much alone. In contrast, Gordon does not seem to fit with anyone else. Despite the fact that he also graduated from Yale, Gordon separates himself from the other characters.


The fact that Gordon does not attribute himself to a group can be symbolically interpreted as him having homosexual tendencies. By having a different sexual preference from the other men, he sees himself as different from them. Gordon's possible homosexuality is pointed out by Martin. According to Martin, he is “repuls[ed] at the thought of a woman” (Martin 100). This statement refers to the time that he described Jewel in a demeaning way. Another example of his homosexual tendencies would be when he likens his going insane to the “snapping... [of] little hooks on a dress” (Fitzgerald 244) inside of him. His likening his mind to that of hooks on a dress helps convey the message that his sexuality is different from the other men. (I don't follow this. I suppose it's because a dress is a feminine piece of clothing, but you might want to state that. Also, doesn't that say something about the general perception of homosexuality in the text?)There are also other instances in this story which offer clues of Gordon's homosexual nature. (Might want to give examples)


The main characters in this story like to appear in groups, with the exception of Gordon. The men in these groups can associate with one another by the fact that they were from a similar school or were from the military. Gordon fits into both of these criteria, but fails to associate himself to(might look better as "with") any particular person or group of persons. He clearly sees himself as different, even though he can find a similarity with all of the characters. For example, he went to the same school as Philip, and he came from the military just as Key and Rose did, but he never relates to them. This eventually brings about a feeling of failure within him and results in him committing suicide. The fact that he wasn't able to associate himself with them offers the possibility that he has a different sexual preference.

***************************************

Well, that's what I think. I've underlined the bits I think need looking at, and bolded my comments.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

thank you so much for your help... i wish there was some way to repay you

:fluffle:

and im 18, which is kinda embarrassing since my writing and physics (;) ) sucks

and im 18, which is kinda embarrassing since my writing and physics (;) ) sucks

It's really not that bad, and the fact that you seem to care puts you a long stretch ahead of most people.

thank you so much for your help... i wish there was some way to repay you

Don't mention it :)