NationStates Jolt Archive

Because you haven't seen her. HEY! Who said that?
dude, that's not cool, no appraising relatives, it's just... dirty. oh wait, this is me talking. go ahead man :D

:D

I've been up all night also, so that could be a factor. I'm about on my last cylinder.
then you really have to go out and buy more nos, eh? :D

Well, I guess we disagree sometimes. I think like most anything there is no substitute for experience. My cousin picked up the guitar and she play really well for her first time, but just well for her FIRST time. She's 1000x better at it now. Wait a minute, did I just talk about sex and my cousin in the same post? *hears dualing banjos in the background and gets all flush*

Now... you mention sex, you mention your cousin... you mention duelling banjoes...

Tell me that when you say "gets all flush"... you mean embarrassed, right.....?

dude, that's not cool, no appraising relatives, it's just... dirty. oh wait, this is me talking. go ahead man :D

Actually, I was going the other way. You are attracted to her... because you haven't seen her. Honestly, I don't know what people would think of her, but she has one of the hottest friends I've EVER seen. For the record, I think everyone should have a Florida condo and a bunch of co-eds that really want to use it.

To answer the original question, I haven't yet had a date I wanted to have sex with straight away. But I think it's possible that either I'm so horny or the guy/girl is so hot that I would have sex on the first date... ;)

Now... you mention sex, you mention your cousin... you mention duelling banjoes...

Tell me that when you say "gets all flush"... you mean embarrassed, right.....?

Um, yes, embarassed. That's it. Embarassed. :cool:

EDIT: just noticed I made a homonym mistake on duel/dual. I seem to only do that when you quote me. You got me on to/two yesterday. Dangit. Stupid homonyms.

To answer the original question, I haven't yet had a date I wanted to have sex with straight away. But I think it's possible that either I'm so horny or the guy/girl is so hot that I would have sex on the first date... ;)

Wanna go out sometime, cuz I've got the second part covered?


Note my response to the question earlier, in case you're not sure if I'm kidding.

Um, yes, embarassed. That's it. Embarassed. :cool:

Nice recovery.... ;)

Wanna go out sometime, cuz I've got the second part covered?


Note my response to the question earlier, in case you're not sure if I'm kidding.

Would you hit on any girl that doesn't exclude the possibility of sex on the first date? ;)

Would you hit on any girl that doesn't exclude the possibility of sex on the first date? ;)

Yes, of course. Would you hit on any guy that does?

Personally, I love a little built up sexual tension so I don't mind if the sex gets pushed back a couple of dates (I, actually, don't mind if it gets pushed back a LONG way, but I don't require that). I can say this, I know lots of people who have regretted having sex with a person things didn't work out with, but I don't know anyone where things did work out and they lament not having sex soon enough.

I'm very decisive though. The girl I was engaged to, I said I was going to marry her before I'd even met her and before I'd gotten a good look at her (I saw her run past at the end of a hallway out of the corner of my eye). To this day, it's the only girl I've ever said that about at any stage in the relationship. I'm never dated a girl past a month that I didn't date for MUCH longer and didn't end up falling love with. I'm quick to fall in love, quick to recognize the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, and quick to act on both. Okay, I've been a little lax on the second one a couple of times, but never very lax.

that joke is so old and dodgy... where's that trout-smack smiley?
Here ya go! :D

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7373/smileytroutsmack22fp.gif (http://imageshack.us)

I think everyone should have a Florida condo and a bunch of co-eds that really want to use it.
Hear, hear! [ cheers wildly! ] :D

To answer the original question, I haven't yet had a date I wanted to have sex with straight away. But I think it's possible that either I'm so horny or the guy/girl is so hot that I would have sex on the first date... ;)
Preferrably BOTH! :D

Preferrably BOTH! :D

That's an ideal scenario. As I said, it never happened before, but it's well possible... :D

Yes, of course. Would you hit on any guy that does?

No. A girl has to have standards...


Personally, I love a little built up sexual tension so I don't mind if the sex gets pushed back a couple of dates (I, actually, don't mind if it gets pushed back a LONG way, but I don't require that). I can say this, I know lots of people who have regretted having sex with a person things didn't work out with, but I don't know anyone where things did work out and they lament not having sex soon enough.

I'm very decisive though. The girl I was engaged to, I said I was going to marry her before I'd even met her and before I'd gotten a good look at her (I saw her run past at the end of a hallway out of the corner of my eye). To this day, it's the only girl I've ever said that about at any stage in the relationship. I'm never dated a girl past a month that I didn't date for MUCH longer and didn't end up falling love with. I'm quick to fall in love, quick to recognize the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, and quick to act on both. Okay, I've been a little lax on the second one a couple of times, but never very lax.

Hmm... I can think of one date that sort of ended just short of sex, and I'm still wondering "what if?" But you're right, as it didn't work out at all without sex, I probably didn't miss out on a great experience there either.

Personally I think your all a bit nuts and this could be you some day :sniper:

But I'll give you my take on the matter at hand I persoanlly Have never done it on the first date because dating is to damm complitcated :confused: as is so why add to the compilcations of it by Having Sex on the first date but there are some situations in which it may not be such a bad thing I mean if you meet a peron in my case a girl and you look at her and you know from that moment in time that you love her unconditionally love and that no matter what you will love her basically love at first site to say the least and she's feels the same about you, you've both told each other you feel this way and if it's there then what the heck if you feel it they feel it then why not it could be the begining Lives' together if you really love each other I mean truely love each other not teen love not drunk love not high loved not stoned love Real True Love If I ever had that I persoanlly would because if i loved some one that much and loved me the same then why pass it up

*Her applies to me if your a girl and reading this put in a he or whatever*

Personally I think your all a bit nuts and this could be you some day :sniper:

But I'll give you my take on the matter at hand I persoanlly Have never done it on the first date because dating is to damm complitcated :confused: as is so why add to the compilcations of it by Having Sex on the first date but there are some situations in which it may not be such a bad thing I mean if you meet a peron in my case a girl and you look at her and you know from that moment in time that you love her unconditionally love and that no matter what you will love her basically love at first site to say the least and she's feels the same about you, you've both told each other you feel this way and if it's there then what the heck if you feel it they feel it then why not it could be the begining Lives' together if you really love each other I mean truely love each other not teen love not drunk love not high loved not stoned love Real True Love If I ever had that I persoanlly would because if i loved some one that much and loved me the same then why pass it up

*Her applies to me if your a girl and reading this put in a he or whatever*

Let me introduce you to some dear friends of mine : ",.?!-"
Honestly, I can make neither heads nor tails out of this post without punctuation, sorry.

Sorry about that I have bad grammar and that's how my thought processes goes

I'm not a stick in the mud. I'll tell you my first time story with the girl I got engaged to. It's an intersting story.

I was 21, a sergeant in the USMC, a vice-president of a software company and on the fast track. I'd never had a relationship make it more than forty days, though I'd had lots of short relationships, including one that nearly got me killed by my CO.

It was December 30, 1995.

I was standing at the bar in my dress blues at a wedding reception for someone I didn't know (I'd been asked to do the sword ceremony by a friend but other than him, I knew no one at the weeding). I was talking to that friend and I saw a flash of red and what appeared to be a very beautiful girl (though, like I said, I didn't really see her. I turned to my friend and a thought went through my head that spilled out of my mouth, "that's the girl I'm going to marry." My buddy started laughing and I got embarassed and absolutely couldn't believe what would make me say such a thing.

I was terminally shy and I was sitting at my table facing away from the room while people were up dancing and I got a tap on my shoulder by a very, large elderly woman who wanted to dance. So we danced. She said the single ladies in the room were intimidated by the Marines but wanted to dance with them so she'd come over to break the ice. I looked around and all of the rest of my crew was dancing with various hot women.

After the dance, a young lady in a red dress came over and asked me to dance. The young lady in the red dress. I rolled my tongue up and stammered out a yes. We ended up dancing until they shut the place down. Then we headed back to her friend's place with one of my cohorts as her friend's date. We walk into this basement where there were two couches and a recliner. Jennifer, the girl in the red dress, and I took one, her friend took the other and my 'friend' sat alone on the recliner. Man, I thought I was shy. We talked until 4:30 in the morning at which point my friend stood up, said it was late and to have a nice life and walked out. It was literally that abrupt.

I offered Jennifer a ride home even though she lived next door. We talked for two more hours, kissed a little, and set another date, then called it a night.

I was smitten with her that night. I was in love by the end of the week and we had sex about a month in, my first time, not hers. It was awkward and difficult and we actually changed our minds at one point after some physical incompatibility issues. But with a stick-to-it attitude and a little creativity, we managed to press onward and finish the mission. ;)

We dated for three years and never once had a fight. I can specifically remember an incident where she got upset that I'd joked about how she was two months older than me as one of the worst fights we'd ever had and it basically amounted to "don't do that again" and "okay, sorry". It was a beautiful relationship with a wonderful woman. And I still wouldn't have moved the sex up. That awkwardness might have ruined the whole thing.

I'm not a stick in the mud. I'll tell you my first time story with the girl I got engaged to. It's an intersting story.

I was 21, a sergeant in the USMC, a vice-president of a software company and on the fast track. I'd never had a relationship make it more than forty days, though I'd had lots of short relationships, including one that nearly got me killed by my CO.

It was December 30, 1995.

I was standing at the bar in my dress blues at a wedding reception for someone I didn't know (I'd been asked to do the sword ceremony by a friend but other than him, I knew no one at the weeding). I was talking to that friend and I saw a flash of red and what appeared to be a very beautiful girl (though, like I said, I didn't really see her. I turned to my friend and a thought went through my head that spilled out of my mouth, "that's the girl I'm going to marry." My buddy started laughing and I got embarassed and absolutely couldn't believe what would make me say such a thing.

I was terminally shy and I was sitting at my table facing away from the room while people were up dancing and I got a tap on my shoulder by a very, large elderly woman who wanted to dance. So we danced. She said the single ladies in the room were intimidated by the Marines but wanted to dance with them so she'd come over to break the ice. I looked around and all of the rest of my crew was dancing with various hot women.

After the dance, a young lady in a red dress came over and asked me to dance. The young lady in the red dress. I rolled my tongue up and stammered out a yes. We ended up dancing until they shut the place down. Then we headed back to her friend's place with one of my cohorts as her friend's date. We walk into this basement where there were two couches and a recliner. Jennifer, the girl in the red dress, and I took one, her friend took the other and my 'friend' sat alone on the recliner. Man, I thought I was shy. We talked until 4:30 in the morning at which point my friend stood up, said it was late and to have a nice life and walked out. It was literally that abrupt.

I offered Jennifer a ride home even though she lived next door. We talked for two more hours, kissed a little, and set another date, then called it a night.

I was smitten with her that night. I was in love by the end of the week and we had sex about a month in, my first time, not hers. It was awkward and difficult and we actually changed our minds at one point after some physical incompatibility issues. But with a stick-to-it attitude and a little creativity, we managed to press onward and finish the mission. ;)

We dated for three years and never once had a fight. I can specifically remember an incident where she got upset that I'd joked about how she was two months older than me as one of the worst fights we'd ever had and it basically amounted to "don't do that again" and "okay, sorry". It was a beautiful relationship with a wonderful woman. And I still wouldn't have moved the sex up. That awkwardness might have ruined the whole thing.

You actually have a 'Lady in Red' story! How cool is that? :)

To answer the original question, I haven't yet had a date I wanted to have sex with straight away. But I think it's possible that either I'm so horny or the guy/girl is so hot that I would have sex on the first date... ;)
*Ahem.... *

so... I know this Great Resturant... :D

*Ahem.... *

so... I know this Great Resturant... :D

In Hawaii? Sure, why not? :D

Very Interesting Story :)

i have never had sex on a first date but i supose i am only 13 so its not really that suprising lol but seriously thought i think its wrong :D

Truth be told I've never had sex but do know one thing that thing is Love I know who I love I just don't if she loves me yet

i have never had sex on a first date but i supose i am only 13 so its not really that suprising lol but seriously thought i think its wrong :D
I too never had sex on my first date...
:eek: Ummm.... err...
Of course, I didn't have my first date... yet...

On second thought... I kind of had. Only I never thought of that event as first date, because I had known that person for quite a while before. Not in person, only online. But we met, and we were in bed about 2 hours later... Can't say I regret it, I'm planning to meet him again soon :D

On second thought... I kind of had. Only I never thought of that event as first date, because I had known that person for quite a while before. Not in person, only online. But we met, and we were in bed about 2 hours later... Can't say I regret it, I'm planning to meet him again soon :D

Gee. I was thinking we should meet. ;) :D

Gee. I was thinking we should meet. ;) :D

Only if you can tell me why ;) :D

Only if you can tell me why ;) :D

Damn. I knew there'd be a catch. :p :D

EDIT: I guess "because we might have sex" won't cut it?

On second thought... I kind of had. Only I never thought of that event as first date, because I had known that person for quite a while before. Not in person, only online. But we met, and we were in bed about 2 hours later... Can't say I regret it, I'm planning to meet him again soon :D

I don't count this. You didn't first meet. GnI and I tried to meet up and have lunch (but the punk got sick) and I'd have probably hugged him when I saw him. I don't hug strangers, but the fact I've never seen GnI's face (in person) doesn't make him a stranger.

Damn. I knew there'd be a catch. :p :D

EDIT: I guess "because we might have sex" won't cut it?

I have on black boots. :p :D

Just wanted to get in on the smiley thing.

Damn. I knew there'd be a catch. :p :D

*lol
Contrary to what you seem to think, I'm quite fussy when picking a date. ;)
And, call me silly, but I don't date people I don't know beforehand.

I have on black boots. :p :D

Just wanted to get in on the smiley thing.

That's ok, as long as you're not wearing my black boots ;)

I have on black boots. :p :D

Just wanted to get in on the smiley thing.

Face it. We're sluts. :fluffle:

On second thought... I kind of had. Only I never thought of that event as first date, because I had known that person for quite a while before. Not in person, only online. But we met, and we were in bed about 2 hours later... Can't say I regret it, I'm planning to meet him again soon :D

Careful, mind your words ;) (http://www.deutscher-tonfilm.de/afhm1-1.gif) pssst, secret link under yonder smiley

Glad you´re back

Face it. We're sluts. :fluffle:

It's a respectable profession and we're proud of it *nods

Careful, mind your words ;) (http://www.deutscher-tonfilm.de/afhm1-1.gif)

Glad you´re back

The dirtiest word in there was "bed". And I didn't even hint on the smutty things that went on in that innocent piece of hotel furniture ... ;)

Face it. We're sluts. :fluffle:

Not me. I'm a bastard, remember?

The dirtiest word in there was "bed". And I didn't even hint on the smutty things that went on in that innocent piece of hotel furniture ... ;)

But think only of the massive implications this word may cut loose in some weak minds...:p

Wow, this is a long thread (so needless to say, I haven't read the whole thing), but that's ok, since I'm just going to add in my own opinion.

Sex, I think, should be reserved for a loving, committed relationship. Unless the two people involved have been friends for a really long time and suddenly decided to get engaged or something, you aren't going to have that on the first date. As a general rule, you aren't going to have the kind of trust that I require to go that point either. I have to really trust a person to have sex with them, and I can only think of a few people I've ever had that kind of trust for. Two of them, I actually was/am in a committed relationship with. The others are friends with whom I most likely just wouldn't go there because it isn't part of our relationship.

So, for me, pretty much no. I wouldn't have sex on the first date, because I wouldn't be comfortable with it, and whatever happened after that would be skewed by me being very uncomfortable and most likely, to some extent, feeling guilty.

Of course, I'm engaged now, so there won't be any more first dates for me. =)

The dirtiest word in there was "bed". And I didn't even hint on the smutty things that went on in that innocent piece of hotel furniture ... ;)

For the record, I can't *believe* that thread got closed and you guys got punished for that. Seriously, we've had much, much worse in past threads. I seem to recall the old lingerie thread getting pretty goofy too.

For the record, I can't *believe* that thread got closed and you guys got punished for that. Seriously, we've had much, much worse in past threads. I seem to recall the old lingerie thread getting pretty goofy too.

Thank you. :fluffle:
I did feel pretty bad about it, to be honest, and more than a little confused regarding the rules and all.
Which is why I opened another thread in moderation, to see if I could get a more detailed response than "because we say so"...

And just to add my opinion...this "first date" thing is a sociocultural entity which I in my poor cultural heritage do not fully understand...so I guess it´s okay...sometimes

But think only of the massive implications this word may cut loose in some weak minds...:p

It way too late for that. My mind was very weak. :eek: :D

It way too late for that. My mind was very weak. :eek: :D

Lean back, relax...trust me, I´m a doctor :D

But think only of the massive implications this word may cut loose in some weak minds...:p

Are you implying that people here get punished for other people's dirty fantasies? :D ;)

No, you don't have to answer

Of course, I'm engaged now, so there won't be any more first dates for me. =)

Congratulations.

But if it doesn't work out ......

Lean back, relax...trust me, I´m a doctor :D

Does that line usually work? ;)

True why should marraige enter the equation. I mean dolphins have sex purely for pleasure and they don't get married. If its ok for them then its okay for us cos they're smater than us cf. "hitch hikers guide" by douglas adams.:headbang:

I don't count this. You didn't first meet. GnI and I tried to meet up and have lunch (but the punk got sick) and I'd have probably hugged him when I saw him. I don't hug strangers, but the fact I've never seen GnI's face (in person) doesn't make him a stranger.

Plus, I'm just so damn adorable.... :)

Does that line usually work? ;)

Hell, it got me wet...

Wow, this is a long thread (so needless to say, I haven't read the whole thing), but that's ok, since I'm just going to add in my own opinion.

Sex, I think, should be reserved for a loving, committed relationship. Unless the two people involved have been friends for a really long time and suddenly decided to get engaged or something, you aren't going to have that on the first date. As a general rule, you aren't going to have the kind of trust that I require to go that point either. I have to really trust a person to have sex with them, and I can only think of a few people I've ever had that kind of trust for. Two of them, I actually was/am in a committed relationship with. The others are friends with whom I most likely just wouldn't go there because it isn't part of our relationship.

So, for me, pretty much no. I wouldn't have sex on the first date, because I wouldn't be comfortable with it, and whatever happened after that would be skewed by me being very uncomfortable and most likely, to some extent, feeling guilty.

Of course, I'm engaged now, so there won't be any more first dates for me. =)

*sigh* Just dinner then...? :(

Hell, it got me wet...

Me, too. That's what got me wondering :D

Edit: I'm kidding!!! Just in case someone takes this seriuosly.

True why should marraige enter the equation. I mean dolphins have sex purely for pleasure and they don't get married. If its ok for them then its okay for us cos they're smater than us cf. "hitch hikers guide" by douglas adams.:headbang:

They do form life-long sexual partnerships that are pretty much monogomous except during mating season. Of course, this has only been observed between male dolphins, but it is marriage-like. =)

*sigh* Just dinner then...?

Dinner would be fun! ((So when are we going to do that?))

Please don't get this thread closed.

Does that line usually work? ;)

Shitty server broke...yes, most time it works...though backing up by truth is always helpful :D

I think this thread is by now deep in the grey area....

Shitty server broke...yes, most time it works...though backing up by truth is always helpful :D

I think this thread is by now deep in the grey area....

sorry... wasn't my intention.... i'll keep quite now. :(

sorry... wasn't my intention.... i'll keep quite now. :(

Perhaps you should visit the other forum :p

Only when you've been drinking:fluffle:

Dinner would be fun! ((So when are we going to do that?))

Didn't you offer me kebabs, at one point?

I really need to follow up on that... :)

Perhaps you should visit the other forum :p

Which one?

Please don't get this thread closed.

Well, its about 10 hours past my bedtime anyway. So maybe I'll stop and go to sleep.

Didn't you offer me kebabs, at one point?

I really need to follow up on that... :)

I know I offered you a wonderful airport lunch and what I got in return was some English wanker coughing on the phone and pretending to be sick. Did you hear the little girl in the background on my end say, "hey, mister, why are you crying?"

I know I offered you a wonderful airport lunch and what I got in return was some English wanker coughing on the phone and pretending to be sick. Did you hear the little girl in the background on my end say, "hey, mister, why are you crying?"

Sorry, I couldn't hear her over the world's smallest violin.... :D

Which one?

Du weißt doch das ich hier keinen link hinschreiben darf...aber einige Mitbürger haben ein eigenes Forum, z.B. Du, ich und Hullepupp

Sorry for the foreign language

Please don't get this thread closed.

Spaßbremse:(

>snip for peace<

Invitation only and no, no linking here

Sorry, I couldn't hear her over the world's smallest violin.... :D

I thought up a bunch of responses to this but all of them would earn me a forumban ;)

Du weißt doch das ich hier keinen link hinschreiben darf...aber einige Mitbürger haben ein eigenes Forum, z.B. Du, ich und Hullepupp

Sorry for the foreign language

Ach ja... du kannst uebrigens gerne einladen, wen du willst. Per TG. Je mehr, je lustiger :D

Ach ja... du kannst uebrigens gerne einladen, wen du willst. Per TG. Je mehr, je lustiger :D

You know I'm just imagining what you are really saying. :eek:

Ach ja... du kannst uebrigens gerne einladen, wen du willst. Per TG. Je mehr, je lustiger :D
:confused: :rolleyes: :eek: YOUNG LADY, HOW DARE YOU USE SUCH LANGUAGE, WE NEED TO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT NOW. IMMEDIATELY MARCH TO MY BEDROOM AND WAIT THERE FOR ME.

(actually I have no clue what you said... german right?) :D

I thought up a bunch of responses to this but all of them would earn me a forumban ;)

You know I love you really.

In... like, a manly way.

:confused: :rolleyes: :eek: YOUNG LADY, HOW DARE YOU USE SUCH LANGUAGE, WE NEED TO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT NOW. IMMEDIATELY MARCH TO MY BEDROOM AND WAIT THERE FOR ME.

(actually I have no clue what you said... german right?) :D

I thought we weren't allowed to talk about Cabra in a bedroom. :eek:

You know I love you really.

In... like, a manly way.

Did I just hear a banjo?

I thought we weren't allowed to talk about Cabra in a bedroom. :eek:
we're not???

Damn... there goes all my fantasies... :(

Did I just hear a banjo?

I can't respond with the line I was going to use, or they will close the thread...

How many people have met someone, and on the first date, had some great sex with that person, and then, when you thought it was great, yet casual, when the sun rises, the person you've just had sex with is all over you with the idea that you are now a permanent couple...

Sex can be instant.... but relationships are not instant...

Didn't you offer me kebabs, at one point?

I really need to follow up on that... :)

Ah yes! Kebabs! Although, IIRC, what you call "kebabs" are what I get at the Gyro place and you said that my kebabs didn't count. Hehe.

In... like, a manly way.

Did I just hear a banjo?

Purty!

Ah yes! Kebabs! Although, IIRC, what you call "kebabs" are what I get at the Gyro place and you said that my kebabs didn't count. Hehe.


Well, it's been like, a whole other year since then... :( Any kebabs (or kebab type objects) sound good, right about now.

But, if I recall correctly, you used the word 'barbecue' in there somewhere, and said something about how you cook a mean kebab... no?


Purty!

That's pretty much where I was headed, when I decided to veer off just short of the thread getting closed down... :)

I'm not a very sexual person. I probably wouldn't even be thinking about sex on a forst date. However, I definitely wouldn't do it. It gives people a variety of wrong impressions as to how you feel for them.

Purty!

OK. Good night, Gracie.

I'm a male. I've never had sex on the first date, or a one-night-stand. I've had the option for both, but I just wasn't in to it. I'm not conservative or religious, I've fooled around with both men and women, but I definitely prefer women. Dumb people and easy people are turn offs for me.

Just to make sure that's all clear.

Now, I am in a serious relationship with a girl I've known for 10 years. We dated off and on through high school and college. We were each other's 'first'. Then we broke up and I moved 1000 miles away. I dated all kinds of people, plenty of them wanted to have sex the night we met, but I never did.

After a few years apart, my old girlfriend and I got in touch. When we met, I knew that I missed her and wanted to be with her from that moment on, but I didn't know if she felt the same. The next day I found out she did in fact feel the same, and the day after that, we spent the night together (no sex).

When I woke up the next day, I felt great. I thought things were going to be perfect from then on out. Then she told me she had a date with someone that she met before we saw each other again. I said, "Oh, do you want to sleep with him?" She said, "We already did." It all seemed to make sense considering the situation, and our quick reunion, so I wasn't too bothered—until she told me how they met.

In a bar, she asked him to dance, and then went home with him. They hung out with his roommates then went to bed. There was no mention of sex, and it didn't really seem like that's where it was going until that's where it was. It started off without protection, but then she told him to put on a condom.

I was bothered when I heard this, because it wasn't something I ever thought she would do. We had been apart for 2 and a half years, but when I left she was the 'good girl' type. Still is the 'good girl' type. She hadn't slept with anyone other than me, and then a week before we got back together she has unprotected sex with a guy she met in a bar. I still haven't gotten over how it makes me feel sometimes, but what I do know is this:

People are complicated.

Humans are animals, and they do things that don't always make sense. There is no wrong or right as to when and how sex occurs. How someone feels about sex on the first date, or just sex in general, is a product of how they were raised. People who say it's wrong, do so because that's what they are told. Some people like to do it because it's wrong in their mind—they love being bad because it feels so good.

What it all comes down to is how you feel about yourself, or how comfortable you are with lying about yourself, and what you can live with longest. If you're afraid of being judged about having a one-night stand, then either don't do it, or don't deal with ignorant people who would judge you based off of that.

This thread touched on a lot of serious issues besides sex on the first date. Look at how being in male dominated culture, allows us to say, "don't do it because the guy will think less of you." People try to put all this weight on sex, and say it means so much more than it does. But really, what is it? Something gets hard, something gets wet, you put one in the other and suddenly it means a million things. I'm not trying to draw attention from the health issues involved, but people need to stop putting so much weight on what sex means for someone else.

Also, being obnoxious and saying it's wrong doesn't make you any more convincing.

Oh, there is no Big Book Of Rules for guys...it's really more of a pamphlet. The gist is, "Boobies good, talking bad, when in doubt hit things with a hammer."
I think I got the wrong one...

it's personal, it's different every time. and please stop the bullshit about risks, they are part of living.

you might find yourself with someone that, just like you, feels a sexual atraction without "falling in love". why go against nature?

the remark "most likely you are drunk" is also bullshit. alcohol is never an excuse for anything, neither are drugs. for these things the same goes as for sex. only get involved if you can handle it.

and regrets? getting hurt is part of growing up. it would be realy sad if you decide to stop enjoying life because you are afraid taking risks.
pregnancy is both persons responsability, both persons can do thinks to prevent that. the remark about oral sex is rubish because the same goes for anal: you wont get pregnant, but other risks still exist.

just do what u feel is right, as long as both people do all without any presure there is no harm in enjoying the moment. we are all responsible for our own actions. just think about this: if you realy worry about this issue you are probably not ready yet for any kind of sexual realtion.

live and let live, enjoy all things you like!

:confused: :rolleyes: :eek: YOUNG LADY, HOW DARE YOU USE SUCH LANGUAGE, WE NEED TO WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT NOW. IMMEDIATELY MARCH TO MY BEDROOM AND WAIT THERE FOR ME.

(actually I have no clue what you said... german right?) :D

Correct, German :D

And as much as I'd love to continue this conversation in your bedroom, I just lived through the mental hell of an entire week of forumban for something far less explicit, so I think I'd better decline this time ;)
Shouldn't stop you in your fantasies, though...

Of course, I'm engaged now, so there won't be any more first dates for me. =)
Is it a definite sign I have a fear of commitment if the meer thought of no more first dates scares the shit out of me?
(although it's certainly a less scary thought considering my most recent first date... *sigh*)

Is it a definite sign I have a fear of commitment if the meer thought of no more first dates scares the shit out of me?

No, I don't think so. I'd say it's simply a sign you're not willing to settle down right now.
That can change within hours, in my experience.

No, I don't think so. I'd say it's simply a sign you're not willing to settle down right now.
That can change within hours, in my experience.
Oh good.

EDIT: just noticed I made a homonym mistake on duel/dual. I seem to only do that when you quote me. You got me on to/two yesterday. Dangit. Stupid homonyms.

Does that make you a secret homo...phobic? :D

Is it a definite sign I have a fear of commitment if the meer thought of no more first dates scares the shit out of me?
(although it's certainly a less scary thought considering my most recent first date... *sigh*)

Nah, I'd say it means you probably haven't found the right person to have your last first date with. =)

"... the right person to have your last first date with. ..."

What a great way to say that! I feel like I've read a lot of silliness here relieved by some great posts (Etrusca and others brought light into a dark cave). But your post made me want to be serious.

For me, I got dating out of my system when I was 17 and decided sex and relationships were over-rated. I had a few dates just so I didn't have to live with being considered a nerd (yeah, so I was a double-major in university) but I can't say it meant much to me and I had no ambitions for any kind of relationship.

Then I met her. Yeah, it was really that dramatic. We got to know each other quickly, went on our first date, and just like you said, I knew she was my last first date. Sex was not a part of our dating. It just didn't figure. There was so much else we wanted to do when we were together. When we did meet sexually, it was like icing on the cake. Very fine icing, but that's what you'd expect on such a great cake. 20 years later, we still feel like newlyweds (our kids have been known to to say, "get a room"), and our sex life is intense and joyful and tender. I never knew marriage could be so great. Sounds like the way I did it isn't the usual to a lot of people here, but I don't see that I missed anything.

Just another point of view.

Sex on the first date is great! :D

Hmm... I've never thought of it as desperate. ...
we should go out sometime

I'm ignoring most of the thread and listening to Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps" just so I can effectively write this post.

Sex on the first date is a good idea if you want to have sex. Use protection and don't be a dumbass.:fluffle:

Sex on the first date is a bad idea if you don't want to have sex. Don't use protection it is unnecessary for after-date masterbation.

...umm I guess that is all there is to say besides
"she's got me spending."
"spending all your money on me and spending time on me"

First dates suck for the wallet and liver. (my liver begs me for poison)

What a great way to say that! I feel like I've read a lot of silliness here relieved by some great posts (Etrusca and others brought light into a dark cave). But your post made me want to be serious.

For me, I got dating out of my system when I was 17 and decided sex and relationships were over-rated. I had a few dates just so I didn't have to live with being considered a nerd (yeah, so I was a double-major in university) but I can't say it meant much to me and I had no ambitions for any kind of relationship.

Then I met her. Yeah, it was really that dramatic. We got to know each other quickly, went on our first date, and just like you said, I knew she was my last first date. Sex was not a part of our dating. It just didn't figure. There was so much else we wanted to do when we were together. When we did meet sexually, it was like icing on the cake. Very fine icing, but that's what you'd expect on such a great cake. 20 years later, we still feel like newlyweds (our kids have been known to to say, "get a room"), and our sex life is intense and joyful and tender. I never knew marriage could be so great. Sounds like the way I did it isn't the usual to a lot of people here, but I don't see that I missed anything.

Just another point of view.

Then you woke up in a closet in a pool of your own sweat and tears with 12 spent tabs of acid on your tongue. After stumbling into the light you realized you weren't in a closet at all but a porta-potty that had been mercilessly tipped onto its side leaving you coated in human excrement. After digging through the trash you found your "best man" from the wedding, a half empty bottle of Jim Beam with coffee grounds floating in it. After a little "catching up" you retired in a heap of used hypodermic needles with a smile and a wink to the pleasant dream you called "a human partner". :D

I was feeling uncommonly happy for a moment there, thank you for reminding me why they invented alcohol and prozac with your fairy tale relationship.;)

I prefer Sex on the first date , if the woman want it too

Then you woke up in a closet in a pool of your own sweat and tears with 12 spent tabs of acid on your tongue. After stumbling into the light you realized you weren't in a closet at all but a porta-potty that had been mercilessly tipped onto its side leaving you coated in human excrement. After digging through the trash you found your "best man" from the wedding, a half empty bottle of Jim Beam with coffee grounds floating in it. After a little "catching up" you retired in a heap of used hypodermic needles with a smile and a wink to the pleasant dream you called "a human partner". :D

I was feeling uncommonly happy for a moment there, thank you for reminding me why they invented alcohol and prozac with your fairy tale relationship.;)

ROFL. I expected something like that, but it's nicely done, considering. But I suppose it says something about something or other that a long, happy marriage could provoke incredulity, even if it is only mock-incredulity. I think you caught some kind of prevailing attitude. I guess in another 10 years I might have said, "Miserable young twerp!" but right now, I'll just laugh. I know how lucky I've been, and I can afford to be smug. :D

I'm ignoring most of the thread and listening to Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps" just so I can effectively write this post.
*shudders*

I'm ignoring most of the thread and listening to Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps" just so I can effectively write this post.

Sex on the first date is a good idea if you want to have sex. Use protection and don't be a dumbass.:fluffle:

Sex on the first date is a bad idea if you don't want to have sex. Don't use protection it is unnecessary for after-date masterbation.

...umm I guess that is all there is to say besides
"she's got me spending."
"spending all your money on me and spending time on me"

First dates suck for the wallet and liver. (my liver begs me for poison)

Some might consider lotion and a lock on your door protection for the after-date, but to each his own, I suppose.

*shudders*

Black Eyed Peas is... realistic... though.

Of my last 4 first dates, only 1 didn't lead to.. thingie.

Ya know, sometimes the chemistry is just there. You have to just feel out the territory, as it were, when you get there. When you have a little experience, you tend to just know when it's alright to just go with the flow.
Ah, well. Ya know what I mean. I'm not feeling terribly articulate this morning.

Black Eyed Peas is... realistic... though.

Of my last 4 first dates, only 1 didn't lead to.. thingie.

Of course those were spread out over sixteen years but whatcha gonna do? :p

Why would a guy tell you that you were bad it it your first time?


Why not? Girls have told me, and I've told them.

If people wanna have sex on the first date let them

Just caught this thread.

Why can't a first date be between two people who have known each other for some time --- and it just happens that things are finally coming together for them...

In a case like that, I think there is a strong argument to be made in favor of.

But hey what do I know?