NationStates Jolt Archive

Seriously, I Don't Understand. I Realize That He's A Great Actor *Has All Texas Ranger Seasons On DVD*. But What's With The Stuff Like The "30 Greatest Facts About Chuck Norris" Thread? I Mean, What Makes Him So Cool We Want To Make Him God? I Really Don't Understand... Can Someone Help Me?

Seriously, I Don't Understand. I Realize That He's A Great Actor *Has All Texas Ranger Seasons On DVD*. But What's With The Stuff Like The "30 Greatest Facts About Chuck Norris" Thread? I Mean, What Makes Him So Cool We Want To Make Him God? I Really Don't Understand... Can Someone Help Me?

I understand your problem. The solution of course is to realize that they're all very disturbed people. *I also don't understand the mass obsession with sports, so I tend to think LOTS of people are very disturbed*

HERESY! HERESY! TO WAR WITH THE HERETICS!

http://www.shoreguide.info/blacktemplars/images/tn-chaplain1.jpg

I'm curious who started this affair with Norris and what Norris thinks about it :)

HERESY! HERESY! TO WAR WITH THE HERETICS!

http://www.shoreguide.info/blacktemplars/images/tn-chaplain1.jpg

Nice...I haven't been called a heretic yet ;) Though I'm probably sure I should be.

HERESY! HERESY! TO WAR WITH THE HERETICS!

http://www.shoreguide.info/blacktemplars/images/tn-chaplain1.jpg

What? Don't Send A Space Marine After Me Just Cause I Said I Don't Know Why Chuck Norris Is So Cool!

You want to burn heretics this is the real deal.

http://privateerpress.com/images/warmachine/gallery/acolyte1.jpg

Chuck Norris is an internet thing like O RLY and Mr T.

Nah, I have always thought Chuck Norris was awesome. I remember going to his website (before the craze) and hearing the whole "Hi, I'm Chuck Norris, and I'd like to personally welcome you to my website!" I laughed, and said to myself. "That guy is badass!"

So thats why, its cause he's a badass.

What? Don't Send A Space Marine After Me Just Cause I Said I Don't Know Why Chuck Norris Is So Cool!

I've been wondering...Why is your every sentence a title?

Seriously, I Don't Understand. I Realize That He's A Great Actor *Has All Texas Ranger Seasons On DVD*. But What's With The Stuff Like The "30 Greatest Facts About Chuck Norris" Thread? I Mean, What Makes Him So Cool We Want To Make Him God? I Really Don't Understand... Can Someone Help Me?
He's one of the few men who lived to tell the tale after Bruce Lee beat the shit out of him, that's why.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares at them until they give him the information he wants.

chuck norris was cool in the 80s. he's still alive?

Chuck norriss..pfff what a wimp

Chuck norriss..pfff what a wimp
If you find yourself crying uncontrollably tonight, it's because Chuck Norris read nationstates, and just a for a moment, lost his temper enough to think about what he'd do to you.

Here is the rankings:

1. God
2. Jesus
3. Women
4. Chuck Norris
5. Video Games
6. Crowbars

The top six most important things to me right now

Chuck Norris had sex with your mom, then your dad gave him a high five.

or

Chuck Norris once had a third testicle, he cut it off himself, shaved it, and threw it into the ocean, it is now known as the continent of Australia.

That funny

Chuck Norris once had a third testicle, he cut it off himself, shaved it, and threw it into the ocean, it is now known as the continent of Australia.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

i hate to quibble but really isnt there some international standard of "COOL" that must be adhered to? surely its not enough for a bunch of internet geeks to declare someone cool in order for it to be true.

i dont think we should accept this devaluing of the concept of cool. chuck wasnt cool in the 80s, he certainly isnt cool now.

Chuck Noris? Chuck Noris!?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
What a wimp!
I eat pieces of scum like him for breakfast!!!!!
Ha ha ha h- *Stoned Ninjas was killed by Chuck Noris*

Bruce Lee was far cooler than Chuck Norris will ever be.

Dude, you just insulted the Holy Cult of Chuck Norris!
Now, die heratic, DIE!!!!!:sniper: :mp5: :gundge: :D

Dude, you just insulted the Holy Cult of Chuck Norris!
Now, die heratic, DIE!!!!!

Dude, you just insulted the Holy Cult of Chuck Norris!
Now, die heratic, DIE!!!!!

Dude, you just insulted the Holy Cult of Chuck Norris!
Now, die heratic, DIE!!!!!

Dude, you just insulted the Holy Cult of Chuck Norris!
Now, die heratic, DIE!!!!!:sniper: :mp5: :gundge: :D

:eek: ... holy shit ....

chuck wasnt cool in the 80s, he certainly isnt cool now.

i thought he was cool when i was 8. he certainly isn't cool anymore. in fact he was never cool.. it was a big mistake.

See my last post... Heratic... :sniper:

See my last post... Heratic... :sniper:

Main Entry: her·e·tic
Pronunciation: 'her-&-"tik
Function: noun
1 : a dissenter from established church dogma; especially : a baptized member of the Roman Catholic Church who disavows a revealed truth
2 : one who dissents from an accepted belief or doctrine : NONCONFORMIST

.. a non-conformist i am. proudly, in this case. :D

I'm curious who started this affair with Norris and what Norris thinks about it :)

i think conan obrian started it accidently with some skit a few years back.

i think it is hilarious,my sister thinks he's all that and a bag o chips,so my brother and i have been bustin on her for years about it(total b movie/tv stuff)
so i guess it is some cosmic kharma thing, for the years of ridicule we put our sister thru.

there is some hilarious "facts",
one of my personel faves is..."chuck norris' tears cure cancer..too bad he doesnt cry"

praise be unto chuck!

he made it from b grade to cult icon,somehow..!:D

Chuck Norris is the man.

Vegetarianistica']Main Entry: her·e·tic
Pronunciation: 'her-&-"tik
Function: noun
1 : a dissenter from established church dogma; especially : a baptized member of the Roman Catholic Church who disavows a revealed truth
2 : one who dissents from an accepted belief or doctrine : NONCONFORMIST

.. a non-conformist i am. proudly, in this case. :D


Chuck Norriss is angry...... say your sorry and a round house kick to the face won't be the last thing you ever see.

I hate to interject but... Mr. T is, was and always shall be better in every way than Chuck Norris

allow me to demonstrate:
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in twelve minutes, he spent the first five Laughing about how it took Chuck Norris Fifteen minutes to eat Three.

Chuck Norris was in Bells of Innocence, and for that sin he was destroyed. All that is left now is a withered husk, an Interweb celebrity of no bearing, status, or reknown.

Heretics! Heretics All!

Chuck Norris just had sex with all your moms. (bastards)

I'm sure you'll be hearing from the following nations very soon:

The Republic of Chuck-Norris
The Republic of Chuck-Norris 4
The Republic of Chuck Freakin Norris
The Most Serene Republic of Chuck Norris Followers
The Empire of Chuck Norris III
The Republic of Chuck Norris One
The Republic of Chuck Norris Rocks
The Republic of Chuck Norris society
The Theocracy of Chuck Norris the God
The Dictatorship of Chuck Norris the Great
The Rogue Nation of Chuck Norrises
The Dictatorship of Chuck Norrisia
The Kingdom of Chuck Norrisland
The Dictatorship of Chuck Norriss beard
The Republic of Chuck Norristan
The Holy Empire of Chuck T Norris
The Republic of CHUCKNORRIS1
The Jingoistic States of Chucknorrisey
The Allied States of Chucknorrisland
The Dictatorship of Chucknorrisrox
The Dictatorship of Chucknorrisstan
The Allied States of God Chuck Norris
The Holy Empire of Mr Chuck Norris
The Empire of Norris-T-donia
The Nomadic Peoples of Norris Barbarians
The Republic of Norris broussard
The United Island Republics of Norris Land
The Republic of Norrisabar
The Republic of Norrisdom
The Rogue Nation of Norrisistan
The Rogue Nation of Norrisland31040
The Republic of Teh 1337 chuck norris
The Armed Republic of The Chuck Norris Land
The Dominion of The Great Chuck Norris
The Republic of Woodchuck Norris


Yeah... but I'm guessing half of them doesn't even know this post exists...

I hate to interject but... Mr. T is, was and always shall be better in every way than Chuck Norris

allow me to demonstrate:
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in twelve minutes, he spent the first five Laughing about how it took Chuck Norris Fifteen minutes to eat Three.

Mr. T once clocked at 100 fps. That's a hundred fools pitied a second.

is it cos Chuck is real compared to Hollywood "action heros"?

Seriously, I Don't Understand. I Realize That He's A Great Actor *Has All Texas Ranger Seasons On DVD*. But What's With The Stuff Like The "30 Greatest Facts About Chuck Norris" Thread? I Mean, What Makes Him So Cool We Want To Make Him God? I Really Don't Understand... Can Someone Help Me?
He isn't cool, there are just too many dorks on the Interweb.

Seriously, I Don't Understand. I Realize That He's A Great Actor *Has All Texas Ranger Seasons On DVD*. But What's With The Stuff Like The "30 Greatest Facts About Chuck Norris" Thread? I Mean, What Makes Him So Cool We Want To Make Him God? I Really Don't Understand... Can Someone Help Me?
Its simple, Chuck Norris owns you and me. He is a man-god. I worship him.

I'm sure you'll be hearing from the following nations very soon:

The Republic of Chuck-Norris
The Republic of Chuck-Norris 4
The Republic of Chuck Freakin Norris
The Most Serene Republic of Chuck Norris Followers
The Empire of Chuck Norris III
The Republic of Chuck Norris One
The Republic of Chuck Norris Rocks
The Republic of Chuck Norris society
The Theocracy of Chuck Norris the God
The Dictatorship of Chuck Norris the Great
The Rogue Nation of Chuck Norrises
The Dictatorship of Chuck Norrisia
The Kingdom of Chuck Norrisland
The Dictatorship of Chuck Norriss beard
The Republic of Chuck Norristan
The Holy Empire of Chuck T Norris
The Republic of CHUCKNORRIS1
The Jingoistic States of Chucknorrisey
The Allied States of Chucknorrisland
The Dictatorship of Chucknorrisrox
The Dictatorship of Chucknorrisstan
The Allied States of God Chuck Norris
The Holy Empire of Mr Chuck Norris
The Empire of Norris-T-donia
The Nomadic Peoples of Norris Barbarians
The Republic of Norris broussard
The United Island Republics of Norris Land
The Republic of Norrisabar
The Republic of Norrisdom
The Rogue Nation of Norrisistan
The Rogue Nation of Norrisland31040
The Republic of Teh 1337 chuck norris
The Armed Republic of The Chuck Norris Land
The Dominion of The Great Chuck Norris
The Republic of Woodchuck Norris


Yeah... but I'm guessing half of them doesn't even know this post exists...
See that just sucks dick.

Chuck Norris is an internet thing like O RLY and Mr T.
O RLY?

This (http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/) is why chuck norris is so cool. Just wait for the bit when he descends from heaven.

This (http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/) is why chuck norris is so cool. Just wait for the bit when he descends from heaven.
I got nothing only proving how dumb Chick Norris is.

I have no idea what the whole thing is about.

But, leave people to have their fun in their own way, that's what I say. Anything that rhymes simply must be true!

I'll show you Chuck Norris. I'll Chuck you Norris. Punk.

Mr. T once clocked at 100 fps. That's a hundred fools pitied a second.
Mr. T once had to battle his own pity, giving the universe a glimpse of what would happen if an unstoppable force ever ran into an immovable object. In the end Mr. T won by pitying his own pity for being a fool. Scientists have theorized that this epic battle is the origin of Vin Diesel, though they know neither how nor why.

Chuck Norris is an internet thing like O RLY and Mr T.
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Chuck+Norris&word2=O+RLY

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Chuck+Norris&word2=O+RLY
In google fight, do naked vs nude and let your eyes drop in awe at the amount of perverts that exist:p

Seriously, I Don't Understand. I Realize That He's A Great Actor *Has All Texas Ranger Seasons On DVD*. But What's With The Stuff Like The "30 Greatest Facts About Chuck Norris" Thread? I Mean, What Makes Him So Cool We Want To Make Him God? I Really Don't Understand... Can Someone Help Me?
I have no idea. He's a lousy actor. I was of the opinion that Vin Diesel was the uber-kewlness man. :)

I have no idea. He's a lousy actor. I was of the opinion that Vin Diesel was the uber-kewlness man. :)
See that is more retarded than being a Chuck Norris fan.:mp5:

I have no idea why, but I'm going to relate the history of Chuck Norris as an Internet Icon.

It started, as all things do, as a joke amongst elitist nerds in IRC, of this I know nothing, if you're still telling chuck norris jokes, this isn't you. This was in early January-Febuary of 2005.

March Rolled around, and Something Awful Forum Goon Scootsmagoo created a thread entitled "And Now, A random fact about Vin Diesel", which was laughed about for being of the funny. It inspired spinoff threads about Mr. T and Chuck Norris.

The Prosperity of these threads led to a Forum Goon (I think it was Scootsmagoo again, although it may have been someone else), creating the website http://www.4q.cc/

Several Months later, after it had faded into elitist SA obscurity, it found it's way to FARK, who laughed at it while SA pretended it was way too cool for that now(May 2005-ish).

Several more months pass, and IP Theif Eric Bauman and Forum Latches his foul Pseudopods onto it, and squeezes it until all the funny is dead and buried. This is our current situation. I weep for it.

Why Chuck Norris became more prevalent than Mr. T or Vin is unknown, I attribute it to Chuck Norris' Training under Lee

I came across this on the 'net and found it funny. I love Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a condom.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

thanks NC for posting this on our boards! :D

who the *bleep* is chuck norris.

I briefly met Chuck Norris (shook his hand) on the Caribbean island of Anguilla where he owns a beach-side home. He was quite normal, and anything but a Hollywood Snob.

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Chuck+Norris&word2=O+RLY
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Chuck+Norris&word2=MR.+T

Mr. T wins by a landslide

http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Chuck+Norris&word2=MR.+T

Mr. T wins by a landslide

Interestingly enough, pie is vastly superior to Chuck Norris (http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Chuck+Norris&word2=Pie), but not as superior as Mr. T. (http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Pie&word2=MR.+T)