NationStates Jolt Archive

This is taken from an article in Maxim men's magazine online. Some of these I know to be true from personal experience. I'll star ( * ) those. Some of these I know to be false from personal experience. I'll roll eyes ( :rolleyes: ) at those. The rest .... I dunno.


100 Things You Need to Know About Women (http://www.maximonline.com/articles/index.aspx?a_id=6781)

Maxim, Nov 2005

* 100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.

:rolleyes: 99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get hard she assumes you’re not attracted to her.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

* 96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

:rolleyes: 94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

* 93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.

:rolleyes: 91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

:rolleyes: 90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.

* 88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27

87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.

86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.

85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.

84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.

* 83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.

:rolleyes: 80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.

:rolleyes: 79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21

77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.

* 76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31

* 73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

:rolleyes: 72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.

71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26

* 70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.

* 69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.

68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females.

* 67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”

* 66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

***** 65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.

64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.

63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.

62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.

* 61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.
* 57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

* 54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22.

53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

* 51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.

48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.

47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.

* 46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.

45. Twenty-three percent of this magazine’s [ Maxim's ] readers are women.

* 44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.

* 41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.

40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

* 39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.

36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28

35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.

34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long.

33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!

32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.

31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.

* 30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21

* 29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.

27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.

* 25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

* 24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

* 23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.

* 22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

* 21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

* 20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

* 16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

* 15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.

* 13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28

12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps.

11. She likes one of your friends.

* 10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

* 9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).

* 7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)

5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

* 4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?

* 3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”

* 2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.

Never read Maxim for advice about women...

This is why I don't read Maxim magazine. Or any magazine, really.

Never read Maxim for advice about women...
After working my way through personal evaluation of those 100 things, I'm inclined to agree with you. :)

sorry to break it to you guys but some, i said some, of those are true.

"Meh."

That's all I have to say to the entire thing.

sorry to break it to you guys but some, i said some, of those are true.

So? Anyone who's even remotely experienced with women knows what they need to know about women. It's more like, it's an insult that some magazine writer thinks they have all the important stuff that we plebes are just stumbling around waiting to be enlightened about.

It made me laugh and I'm not so sure the entire thing was to be taken seriously. Now let's put down our swords before we go attacking every Maxim and Vogue we see.

This is taken from an article in Maxim men's magazine online. Some of these I know to be true from personal experience. I'll star ( * ) those. Some of these I know to be false from personal experience. I'll roll eyes ( :rolleyes: ) at those. The rest .... I dunno.


100 Things You Need to Know About Women (http://www.maximonline.com/articles/index.aspx?a_id=6781)

Maxim, Nov 2005

:rolleyes: 99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

:rolleyes: 94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.

:rolleyes: 91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

:rolleyes: 90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.


87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.

:rolleyes: 80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.

:rolleyes: 79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21

74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31

71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26

59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.

40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.

36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.


19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.

12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)


These are the ones that I think are bullshit.

So? Anyone who's even remotely experienced with women knows what they need to know about women. It's more like, it's an insult that some magazine writer thinks they have all the important stuff that we plebes are just stumbling around waiting to be enlightened about.


hey no need to get huffy with me.

Anyway, some of the 'Quotes" had the name of the girl who said certain phrases. So maybe they took a poll and found some amusing responses from women and put them in there. Its simply for entertainment. Lighten up.

Btw I know first hand number 99 isn't true :(

hey no need to get huffy with me.

Anyway, some of the 'Quotes" had the name of the girl who said certain phrases. So maybe they took a poll and found some amusing responses from women and put them in there. Its simply for entertainment. Lighten up.

Yeah, it's entertainment. I repeat my earlier question: so? All I said was it's why I don't bother with magazines, and you felt you had to break it to us guys and enlighten us with how some of these tidbits are true. If'n you ask me, and you haven't, you're the one who got huffy since our responses were not appropriately "light" to your liking. ;)

Yeah, it's entertainment. I repeat my earlier question: so? All I said was it's why I don't bother with magazines, and you felt you had to break it to us guys and enlighten us with how some of these tidbits are true. If'n you ask me, and you haven't, you're the one who got huffy since our responses were not appropriately "light" to your liking. ;)

i have no idea what youre talking about.....i havent said the first word about anyones response not being to my liking. and i was being sarcastic when i said "hate to break it to you but some of those are true" because some were silly and some were just funny. are you trying to start a fuss or are you just confused?

Well, contra to the mini-backlash, there are some home truths in there.

I've read that, and from my past experiences, its not helpful.

It made me laugh and I'm not so sure the entire thing was to be taken seriously. Now let's put down our swords before we go attacking every Maxim and Vogue we see.

I'm keeping my sword up.

15 and 76 are inherently contradictory.

The "advice" Maxim has about women is almost as stupid as the "advice" Cosmo has about men. I don't advise anyone really believe either publication. I used to read Cosmo all the time, then when I got married I took the opportunity to ask my husband about all the stuff I had read, turns out they are full of crap.

The "advice" Maxim has about women is almost as stupid as the "advice" Cosmo has about men. I don't advise anyone really believe either publication. I used to read Cosmo all the time, then when I got married I took the opportunity to ask my husband about all the stuff I had read, turns out they are full of crap.

True, but like most of these, out of 100, there maybe atleast 5 that have some truth to them.

Too bad that both parties are controlled by their hormones rather than their brains.

#86 is kinda sweet.

True, but like most of these, out of 100, there maybe atleast 5 that have some truth to them.

Too bad that both parties are controlled by their hormones rather than their brains.
Yeah, I bet I could pick out 5 or so that are true most of the time, but 5 out of 100 isn't really too great though is it?

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.
This ones true:D

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.
This ones true:D

If you can blow her off, then maybe she isn't a she after all, and you've been plowing the other hole all along :)

Yeah, I bet I could pick out 5 or so that are true most of the time, but 5 out of 100 isn't really too great though is it?

Meh, well, no better than those commentators on television who will, once and a while - more like once a year, hit the nail on the head with a statement.

Anyway, I think the problem could be solved if both parties thought a little more about their partner than what is just convenient with them.

I pity da fool who takes this crap seriously.

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.
This ones true:D

Unless she is also a gamer. :p

Oy. That first one alone was galling enough to actually make me answer this (also, I couldn’t sleep).

I’ve separated the lies from the (disclaimer: subjective) truth and left out the rest.




Complete and utter BS:

100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you. Not at all. But guys are totally like that.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world. Are you crazy? Well, maybe loose the socks.

94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile. WTF?

90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car. Uh-huh, sure.

87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion. Words fail me.

80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.

78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash. That doesn’t even make sense.

73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice. That’s funny, though.

70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.

66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense. God, so not true.

57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal. “Psycho jealous girl”? Um, wasn’t Maxim supposed to be “racy”? Way to push the envelope there. Jeez.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet. Yeah, because apparently we like to be treated like three-year-olds.

30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21 No! By all means, do.

19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early. Ugh.

9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.





Well, kinda true, IMHO:


98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get hard she assumes you’re not attracted to her. Well, what can I say? I can be insecure.

91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends. Not all, but some. As if you don't.

86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard. Heh, I like that one.

83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true. Well, doesn’t everyone?

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men. *nods*

62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent. I’ve read this before, and, as sad as it is, I’m very inclined to believe it. Sucky, chauvinist world.

61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions. Well, sometimes she does.

54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22. Sigh.

49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal. Well, I don’t dream of it, but it sure would come in handy at times.

39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it. Ideally, though, you should mean it, too.

35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.

29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.

20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it. “Once in a while”?

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28

7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.) Well, it may look nice, but it sure hurts.

2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12. *looks innocent*

Meh. Like, one, if that, of those things listed is true of me.

Anyway, I think the problem could be solved if both parties thought a little more about their partner than what is just convenient with them.
yeah. It's like my husband says "if you really want to know ask" it's much easier that way. ;)

You know I wwas going to list all the things that are actually wrong about this list then I though...wait...I'm not like other women...I hate jewlery, I hate tension(will never pick a fight), I hate having something wrong, I am completely anti-romantic (think it's stupid), don't really care if he's around other girls(pretty or not)...I'm like a gay man in a woman's body... But I'm still always right... that would never change. :D
Someone once told me I'm like a emotionally mature child. I LOVE comics,anime, cartoons, manga, sleep, messy rooms, not cleaning, not cooking.
I'm the perfect woman!
And I don't wear makeup. Hate the stuff.

You know I wwas going to list all the things that are actually wrong about this list then I though...wait...I'm not like other women...I hate jewlery, I hate tension(will never pick a fight), I hate having something wrong, I am completely anti-romantic (think it's stupid), don't really care if he's around other girls(pretty or not)...I'm like a gay man in a woman's body... But I'm still always right... that would never change. :D
Someone once told me I'm like a emotionally mature child. I LOVE comics,anime, cartoons, manga, sleep, messy rooms, not cleaning, not cooking.
I'm the perfect woman!
And I don't wear makeup. Hate the stuff.
I'll cook and clean occasionally, marry me please!!

Well, my only comment on this is that it seems that Eut is getting ... desperate?

My girlfriend and I have been honest from the start, and what she claims is backed up by subtle investigations within conversations with her friends and family. I love her :D

Unless she is also a gamer. :p
Which would be awesome. So far I have met and gone out with one hot chick that likes Halo2 (and on occaison can beat me). Most just are like, videogames...cool...no you will not play them, come hang out with my friends, you will totaly love them all !!

Same applies to baseball, but I am less leniant on that. I wont give up a good White Sox game for just anyone...

* 100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.

Mine is like that, but then again, I am half the time as well...

* 96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.

That and nice chocloate...I am a good gift-giver but needless to say, I am deeply in debt because of it.

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

Jeez, I might be ugly, but that's a little uncalled for.

* 93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.

Not always true...my fiancee politely asks me about hockey and football despite the fact that I know she isn't into either...maybe she likes hockey; I don't know.

:rolleyes: 90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.

I always drove when we starte dating...I also had a stick-shift car at the time, and she equated learning to drive a stick with learning to speak Chinese. I never could teach her.

84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.

That or scientific proof of the desperation of sixteen percent of American men. I imagine most folks here are in the other 84 percent, especially considering the staggering number of openly asexual people here.

* 83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

I don't believe that for a second. Mine always believes the opposite of what I say, even when I am telling the honest-to-God truth.

* 76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

It's actually my laptop, and yes, she does consider games kind of juvenile...despite the fact that she's been known to play them with me before.

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

I bought her a dog...she always yells at me to discipline her...I pretty much ignore her. The dog is ridiculously spoiled.

:rolleyes: 72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.

Not in my case...I am the rational one. We were driving to Fort Myers in December, and by the time we were past Macon, she was ready to turn around and go home and forget about the vacation because her mom's heart was acting up (she and her mom both have a stress-related heart condition.) Needless to say, it was my job to calm her down and make sure we all kept our collective heads...and to drive, considering it was a 20-hour trip and we were in southern Georgia at the time. It's my job to keep my head, for the most part.

* 70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.

She never liked any of my female friends. For that matter, she doesn't much care for any of my male friends. And I pretty much don't care, because her friends are dweebs too.

64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.

Check and check. Maybe that's why I landed one.

* 61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

And yet, I do it anyway. It's my nature.

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.

So on 5 September 2014, I can rest easy. Gotcha.

52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

Same here...I can't tell half the time when she refers to how long her hair is if she's complaining or just making an observation.

* 51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.

The word "cute" refers to my dog, not her. And it sure as hell doesn't refer to me.

47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.

I find that offensive. I pay my own rent. And she still uses her mom's home address for everything.

* 44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.

So the fact that she told me she wants to hold off until marriage means she's not a psycho jealous girl. Not that I am a very sexual creature anyway, but a lot of guys are...

* 41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.

Got it...when she cuts it short, hire a private investigator.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

Hell fucking no. I might teach her to beat me, but no way is she going to get me to let her win. It's not in my nature.

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.

Must be why I never got any until recently...I hate licorice.

* 25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

I hope not...not HER friends. Sorry...just...not my type.

* 24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

Jeez...just take the lazy person's way and go for someone who's already how you want them.

* 20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

I asked her...confirmed it. Though I am smarter than her in some other ways.

* 16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

So true...though some things cross the line at first, but if I bug her enough, she lets me try it, and half the time it blows her mind.

* 15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

It's almost contradictory...she's bossy but reasonable.

11. She likes one of your friends.

Not the dweebs I hung out with in college...

* 9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

She actually spent some time in class when she was bored signing her first name with my last...it's good practice; she's going to carry that name once we're married (and I didn't even have to talk her into it.)

5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

Jeez...thanks for making me that much more insecure. Now I have to keep a close eye on my drinks for the rest of my life.

* 3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”

Ouch...that's an H-bomb of breakup lines.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.

Mine's either a virgin or a hell of an actress. Probably the former. If the latter, bad things happen. Like I keep her beloved dog after throwing her out. And train her to be evil.

#86 is kinda sweet.
I thought #86 was SOP. :confused:

I thought #86 was SOP. :confused:


whats SOP?

whats SOP?
Standard Operating Procedure(s)
You know, you do it without even thinking because it's what you're supposed to do.

Standard Operating Procedure(s)
You know, you do it without even thinking because it's what you're supposed to do.


ohh...thanks:)

ohh...thanks:)
So, like I said, I thought #86 would be SOP. Which is why I am confused that it seems to not be so.

So, like I said, I thought #86 would be SOP. Which is why I am confused that it seems to not be so.


youd think it would be yes? not always. its just good manners you know'?

I dont agree with "They want to believe all that you say" at all. Considering I often spend weeks trying to convince a girl I am telling the truth. Escpecially if they get all moody and refuse to believe me.

youd think it would be yes? not always. its just good manners you know'?
If that is indeed the case, then gentlemen, we need to go back and rethink this. I mean, how would YOU like to sleep in that?

Always help your lady lover tidy up afterwards. Besides, cleaning time can be fun too.

:rolleyes: 79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.

True or not, that made me laugh.

The rest I give the standard "overgeneralized crap" routine too.

* 76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.



Not really, I am a gamer for life. I love my xbox. Some girls don't like that stuff but alot of us do.


86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.


Thats just plain nasty.

Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.


Thats just plain nasty.
Um... what would you prefer us to do then?

Um... what would you prefer us to do then?
offer to sleep there, so that we get the clean side of the bed.......

Which would be awesome. So far I have met and gone out with one hot chick that likes Halo2 (and on occaison can beat me). Most just are like, videogames...cool...no you will not play them, come hang out with my friends, you will totaly love them all !!

Same applies to baseball, but I am less leniant on that. I wont give up a good White Sox game for just anyone...
ah.......someone already got me, he doesn't really care for baseball though:( I figure I got him to watch the world series with me last year though, so in a few years I might actually get him to go to a game...........it's all about patience though............

77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
In a row???

In a row???
ROFL hunny, you slay me.:D

* 73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10

Is this pressuming you can't be friends with a woman? I think so

11. She likes one of your friends

Teh 0 noes!! And I should care because... She clearly likes me more

* 9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

What was odd was when she did that before we started going out.

I'm going to do my own stars and rolleye faces, except where I agree with you or don't have an opinion. =)

Correction, I can't use all those smileys, so some of them I'll just say it hehe

100 Things You Need to Know About Women (http://www.maximonline.com/articles/index.aspx?a_id=6781)

:rolleyes: I *HATE* having anything wrong, and so do most of the girls I know * 100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.

I don't know about the "keep herself in line" part, but most women (unless they don't shave at all, aren't going to go into a night that they think they might have sex with someone for the first time without shaved legs - at least not on purpose. 99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.

This one is probably true. 98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get hard she assumes you’re not attracted to her.

This is just silly 97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

There are much bigger turnoffs 95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

* Actually, in my experience (which, being a girl, is only with a few girls who don't have girlfriends), this is absolutely true. The girls I have known that have no female friends have been the type of controlling bitches who only hang out with men - and think they own all men they hang out with. They use sex or the dangling of the possibility of sex to try and control even those men they have no intentions of ever sleeping with. They don't want their male friends or lovers to have anything at all to do with other women - not even just as friends. 94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

This would depend on what was being said, doncha think? =) * 83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.

I'm much more likely to wear less to bed than my fiancee, and much more likely to throw the covers off in the middle of the night. He cuddles up in the blankets as if it were freezing - even in the summer. 82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

I like the Xbox just fine. And it's fun to entice him away from it.....* 76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

:rolleyes: Wait, so I owe any guy who does me a favor sex or I'm "using" him? So much for all my guy friends..... * 73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

This is bullshit. The only problem with a guy hanging out with other girls is if he has actually expressed an interest in them - then the jealousy buttons might get pushed, even if the girl is trying to keep them down. Otherwise, it's no different than a girl hanging out with her guy friends. * 70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.

My fiancee and I didn't even have a fight until a couple years into our relationship. Most of the girls I know hardly ever fight with their significant others. For those that do, it's more of a funny type of fighting that is simply a part of the relationship * 66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

This is something that is true of all people - sometimes. Sometimes we want solutions. Sometimes, we just need to rant. Same goes for men. * 61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

*****60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

I don't know on this one, because I've never done the "just sex" thing, but I can believe it of most people. I don't think it's a just women thing though * 54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22.

:rolleyes: Right.... 52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

:rolleyes: Buying shoes too small would freaking hurt! 50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.

:rolleyes: Why on earth would I want to do that? 49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.

I'm going to guess that this is full of shit. If you can lose a friend over a ridiculous squabble, they weren't really a good friend in the first place. 40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

:rolleyes: I've worked in enough public places to know that this is full of shit. 37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.

:rolleyes: Most women I know just ask about the past relationships (once far enough into one of their own). We don't go searching through a guy's stuff. 36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28

*I think this is often true, although not for the reasons you might think. It isn't the, "I don't want you to see me eating X," thing so much as a "I better not pick something too expensive," thing. * 29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

:rolleyes: The women I know are more intelligent than this. One should never go into any relationship with the idea of "fixing" the person in question. * 24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

Garbage. I have more piercings than many of my friends. And I let him put it less places than many of them. 19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.

:rolleyes: I don't pick my friends by how attractive they are, nor does it have anything to do with how often I hang out with them * 10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

It takes a little more time than that * 9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

*** Although not the five o'clock shadow so much as the two or three day stubble. OUCH 6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)

Garbage. If you take another woman, at least we know you were really trying for something good. There was another woman (albeit, his mother) involved in helping pick out my engagement ring, and I absolutely love it! * 2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

:rolleyes: If you don't know this, your relationship is shit. And holy shit! most people say five?!?! I doubt it. 1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.[/QUOTE]

Is this pressuming you can't be friends with a woman? I think so

It certainly seems that way, doesn't it? Apparently a girl who is just friends with a guy is "using" him.

:rolleyes: Wait, so I owe any guy who does me a favor sex or I'm "using" him? So much for all my guy friends..... * 73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
Yep, that's just ridiculous.

Honestly, I'd say about 80 of these have at least a grain of truth.

Out of all the ones that could be applicable to me, none actually are.

This is taken from an article in Maxim men's magazine online. Some of these I know to be true from personal experience. I'll star ( * ) those. Some of these I know to be false from personal experience. I'll roll eyes ( :rolleyes: ) at


85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, might be bottled.

12.

Noooo, that is the thing thats so great with us whites, we have all types of hair, to loose red haired whites black haired whites red haired whites, blond haired whites, or any of theses would be sad :(
Couse I meant, its like one day you eat your ice with banana sprinkels, and the next day you have cholclate, but you get tired of that and go on to cherry....

the same thing goes for, one day I go out, I want to be with a blond, the next day with a brunette..
My self I hvae brown hair hazel eyes

Its like flavers....

Maybe we ought to encourege blond, and red haired people, and all whites in general, to fuck more, or else there will be not different types of hair, and I want my offspring, be they born brown, red or blond haired, to be able to choose between flavors when they wake up