NationStates Jolt Archive

Hypothetical situation, you've rented a cabin out in the wilderness and are hiking in the woods one sunny day when you happen upon a very beautiful and naked member of the sex you're attracted to sprawled across a moss-covered rock. Even more embarassing is that you catch them in the middle of pleasuring themselves, but instead of shying away they say to you "Oh thank God you are here, I haven't had sex in ages and I feel like I'm about to pop. Please, take me now!"

What do you do?

As I'm probably already naked, I'll shout; "What the hell are you doing on my pleasuring rock?!? ... Ah, screw it. We'll share. Move over."

:D

Trap...

I never was nor will I ever be that lucky.

Well before she said anything I was already taking my pants off. It's not rape now! I KNOW THE LAW!

I'd whip out my cell phone and call the local insane asylum...

Never go off into the woods alone to find someone to satisfy you... unless it's got koalas, apparently.

If you were male and the asylum people they sent out were male then you'd get the piss taken out of you. Koala's live in Australia :nod:

If you were male and the asylum people they sent out were male then you'd get the piss taken out of you. Koala's live in Australia :nod:

It's probably a good thing that I'm not male, then, isn't it?

Well before she said anything I was already taking my pants off. It's not rape now! I KNOW THE LAW!
Does anyone else think of Penny-Arcade when they read things like that? Maybe Ctrl-Alt-Del second.

Pants off baby!

First and foremost, I'd wonder what I'm doing renting a cabin in the woods when my family owns some perfectly respectable camping property in the woods....by the river....far away from city lights. But once I got over that initial hump....I'd wonder why I'm in the woods with no family/friends and no boyfriend to enjoy the wilderness with me. After that, I'd wonder why oh why they're lying on a moss-covered rock, because everybody knows that moss can cause the most unpleasant rashes to the naked physique.

And no, I wouldn't have sex with this oh-so-pretty man on the rock. You know why? Because I don't do kinky jungle sex. Or....kinky woodland sex. WITH STRANGERS.

Give the poor demented woman directions to the nearest singles bar, and hand her a flashlight.

Then hightail it out of there as I don't cheat; and finding a naked woman who can speak that good of English, demanding that I take her now in the wilderness of Japan would just be damn freaky. ;)

Simonist']And no, I wouldn't have sex with this oh-so-pretty man on the rock. You know why? Because I don't do kinky jungle sex. Or....kinky woodland sex. WITH STRANGERS.
what about with a casual acquaintances?

I'm usually in the buff in the company of other people. Never popped one. Never randomly penetrated one either. I'm not a freaking bunny.

A hot woman... In the middle of the forest... Wants to have sex with me.

Dammit. Stuff this good never happens. This has to be a trap. CIA, FBI, MIB... Don't know, don't care, I'm gettin' outta there!

Forests? There's drunk hunters, hungry bears and wolves, and posoin ivy in forests? Why would anyone want to do it in the forest?

I prefer a sandy beach facing Westward in the evening, East in the morning. Mmm....

Pants off all the way...
I find that my brain only kicks in about 30 min-1 h after such an event, and until it does, I'll have to rely on something else.

Does anyone else think of Penny-Arcade when they read things like that? Maybe Ctrl-Alt-Del second.

Ctrl-Alt-Del? Penny-arcade...!?

Ctrl-Alt-Del? Penny-arcade...!?

Popular webcomics about video games. Ctrl-Alt-Del is notable for having excellent storylines and superb humor while remaining a relevant gaming comic. Penny Arcade, meanwhile, is known for shear force of personality and as a good source of news and commentary on all things video game-related. I find the latter comic too crass for my taste, and too involved in webcomic politics, but the creators are good people- they run an annual charity drive to give games to kids in hospitals.

Spoinngggg!

pants off. anything will be uncivalized.

you can leave your pants on..just open mine and fell on your knees

Oh hell yeah!

Call the police and tell them that there's a strange naked person in the woods offering sex to strangers...? No telling what sort of diseases they've caught from doing that. And that rock'll need cleaning!

Call the police and tell them that there's a strange naked person in the woods offering sex to strangers...? No telling what sort of diseases they've caught from doing that. And that rock'll need cleaning!

Why, everything should be bio-degradeable. At least we hope it is.

Forests? There's drunk hunters, hungry bears and wolves, and posoin ivy in forests? Why would anyone want to do it in the forest?

I prefer a sandy beach facing Westward in the evening, East in the morning. Mmm....

you, my fellow forum member...just made a paradisiacal idea fly into my head with that. Surely you are a genius. Right now in my horny state I can only dream of pleasing a woman during a sunrise...on the beach! or sunset as well!

A moss covered rock could be dangerous. Definatly a trap.

The moss is obviously poisonous, the rock is a large camouflaged carnivore and the beautiful whatsoever is obviously an old hag in disguise...so definitely a trap


Do I sound paranoid?

My brain says "TRAP!!!" but my body says "GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT!"

Hypothetical situation, you've rented a cabin out in the wilderness and are hiking in the woods one sunny day when you happen upon a very beautiful and naked member of the sex you're attracted to sprawled across a moss-covered rock. Even more embarassing is that you catch them in the middle of pleasuring themselves, but instead of shying away they say to you "Oh thank God you are here, I haven't had sex in ages and I feel like I'm about to pop. Please, take me now!"

What do you do?
Well, DUH! :D

Ask if they want to come back to my place where it's more comfy

Ask if they want to come back to my place where it's more comfy

Then I phone my girlfriend and get her out there too

1: Whip it out
2: Stick it in
3: Profit