NationStates Jolt Archive

With all the talk about gays on NS lately, I decided it was time to rant about something slightly different.
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There lies a plague on our society, compatriots, a plague that is so insidious, so clever, that it has invaded every level of popular entertainment. From the towering heights of South Park to the very sub-basement of Doonesbury, this assault on morality is allowed to continue unchecked and uncalled-out.
But what plague is this? Why the plague of Homophobia, colleagues, the driving fear and hatred against "sameness" as represented by twins and clones, propagates everywhere you look in the form of "evil twins" and dangerous human cloning projects.
Why is it that in a society as "enlightened" as ours, this homophobia is allowed to spread? Why is it that every version of Star Trek is allowed to drag out the same dusty plot device by slapping a goatee on one of their actors and having him act like a jerk? Why was the Simpsons allowed to remain on the air after a "scientist" on the show directly said that one of each set of twins is evil? Why was King of the Hill allowed to remain on the air? Yeah, sure, they never said anything about evil twins, but that show is just lame.
In the past, the reason appeared simple: No one could organize a rally against these people because we had no easy to remember word for them. When Jesse Jackson yells at white people, he doesn't call them "People who really don't like Black people to the point of violence or using racial slurs"; he calls them "racists", which is easier to remember, easier to chant, and a Hell of a lot easier to type out. Yet, my fellows, we had no one word.
So, like all great thinkers, we set out to pull a new word completely out of our ass. It was only natural to use Latin roots because, like all Americans, we love to say things in a language we don't understand and no one speaks anymore ("Amo Reductio ad Absurdum"), and so our research came up with "Homophobia."
Yet, even now, with the word "homophobe" in our arsenal, we are still powerless. And so I rushed to Dictionary.com to see if if it might not yet be widely accepted. When I got there, colleagues, I was exposed to the true meaning of "injustice" (it means "Violation of another's rights or of what is right; lack of justice"). After that, I remembered to actually search for "homophobia" and quit looking for "extraneous" ("Not constituting a vital element or part") words to pad my vocabulary.
"The fear of things that are the same" isn't acknowledged as a real definition for the word "homophobia", instead it seems the gays got there first. We have been beaten to the punch by another minority pressure group, and this could be devastating for the movement.
However, fear not, colleagues. We must draw inspiration from the Europeans when they first landed on the Americas. Those pioneers too were a minority in a situation where another group had beaten them to the finish line, but they didn't give up. They persevered and overcame the other group by being smelly, obnoxious and rude.
So we too must overcome gay resistance, possibly by sending small pox infected blankets to San Francisco or by buying the homes of gays from foreign nations (I'm sure France would gladly sell us P-Town).
Only one minority can survive this, and if we don't relegate gays to the annals of history, we will never be able to force the writers of Trigun to apologize.
We must prevent homophobia, we must destroy the fags!

Your post is too long to read.

But... jumping to the last sentence, I know for a fact I don't want to read it.

Thanks.

2 points for creativity.

0 points for wit.

Let me guess, your home base is in Minnesota?

:mad: Wow.
I am stunned.
I did not realize that it was possible to be that idiotic.

Homophobia is just a word representing
a cultural movement. It is derieved from homosexuality, meaning two people of the same gender being sexually attracted. it is being used in that context. "homo" is slang for a gay person. Jeez, you act like a 4th grader.

These people are too uptight. I get you, H N. I get you.

The sarcasm is strong with this one.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, that was good.

Jeez, you act like a 4th grader.
And you act like a poop-face.
*rasberries*

See, I used a similar argument to try to get pants banned.

Afterall, you can't shit your pants if you aren't wearing any. :)

See, I used a similar argument to try to get pants banned.

Afterall, you can't shit your pants if you aren't wearing any. :)
Think of a big fat guy...

Only one minority can survive this, and if we don't relegate gays to the annals of history, we will never be able to force the writers of Trigun to apologize.
We must prevent homophobia, we must destroy the fags!

Some clarification here. Was that meant to be "annals of history", or was it just a typo and meant to be "anals of history" instead?

Thought I'd ask. You never know.

See, I used a similar argument to try to get pants banned.

Afterall, you can't shit your pants if you aren't wearing any. :)
No, no, no, no no... the only valid arguement is that it's too long to read.


...
What's really hilarious is that I could pull out an old astrology argument about twins to counter the point in the original post.

This is a joke right?... Please tell me this is a joke...

This is a joke right?... Please tell me this is a joke...

Take your pants off.

Take your pants off.

I thought they said no cavity searches on this site. :mad:

This is a joke right?... Please tell me this is a joke...

If you have to ask, you don't need to know.

I thought they said no cavity searches on this site. :mad:

That was a dental reference. For the british forum folk. *nod*

Some clarification here. Was that meant to be "annals of history", or was it just a typo and meant to be "anals of history" instead?

Thought I'd ask. You never know.
It means "annals", but it is also meant to make you think "anal", that is the nature of double entendre.
And Evenrue, I am deadly serious here. As deadly as getting hit in the head by a 40 lb, solid uranium dildo dropped from the top of a 50 story building.

That read like something from the Op-Ed page of The Onion, were such a thing to exist. Very good.

Down with homophobia!

Up with homophagia!

2 points for creativity.

0 points for wit.

Agreed.

I'm quite aware that this is sarcasm, but seriously, what was your point?

Agreed.

I'm quite aware that this is sarcasm, but seriously, what was your point?

Ditto.

It must have taken quite a bit of work and is somewhat original, but really isn't very funny.

(Particularly as we've had flaming arguments in these forums about the term "homophobia")

Another great from the mind of Fiddlebottoms.
Don’t listen to these uptight dunderheads. They have no sense of humor.

Another great from the mind of Fiddlebottoms.
Don’t listen to these uptight dunderheads. They have no sense of humor.

This has nothing to do with being uptight; it's a matter of real confusion. I'm actively wondering what his point is. :confused:

This has nothing to do with being uptight; it's a matter of real confusion. I'm actively wondering what his point is. :confused:
Must everything have a point?
Inanity is beautiful.

Take your pants off.
check...now what?

This has nothing to do with being uptight; it's a matter of real confusion. I'm actively wondering what his point is.
It was a post by fiddles. Perhaps the point was to be pointless?


*gives cookie to fiddles*

I just cannot believe the lack of a sense of humor some of you possess.

Did we comment on how Lewis Carrol didnt make sense, or did anyone delight in the sheer madness of it?
Despite the fact that he may have been a pedophile...I digress...

Do we ask the sun why it shines, and say its not funny?
Do we wear badgers as loincloths, and protest when they refuse to undergo declawing?

Are we sheep?
If you prick us, do we not bleat?

Okay...bad sheep pun..

I know some of you have read Fiddle's stuff.
Relax a little, people.

Find your happy place.
It will make it easier on you, when the priests and clowns come.

Must everything have a point?
Inanity is beautiful.
Excellent. Well put.

Find your happy place.
It will make it easier on you, when the priests and clowns come.

Hey! What I and my priest do in the privacy of his car is entirely our own business! :mad:

Hey! What I and my priest do in the privacy of his car is entirely our own business! :mad:


Hey, dont worry, youre one of the good ones.

and by "good ones", I mean, not a sicko.

and by "Not a sicko", I mean, "still bent on global domination, and implementation of the "Seltzer Solution."

Hey, dont worry, youre one of the good ones.

and by "good ones", I mean, not a sicko.
He's not??? :eek:

DAMN! [ cries ]

He's not??? :eek:

DAMN! [ cries ]

If planning to engage in mixed tagteam spaghetti wrestling next weekend is 'sick', then I don't want to be well. :D

If planning to engage in mixed tagteam spaghetti wrestling next weekend is 'sick', then I don't want to be well. :D
so you're still on for that? I bought the extra large meatballs for us to use. :D

If planning to engage in mixed tagteam spaghetti wrestling next weekend is 'sick', then I don't want to be well. :D


so you're still on for that? I bought the extra large meatballs for us to use.


now where can i get tickets to this?!

so you're still on for that? I bought the extra large meatballs for us to use. :D

I never go anywhere without the extra-large meatballs. :cool:

now where can i get tickets to this?!
:confused: I thought LG and I were wrestling you and TCG???

It's good to see you back, Fiddlebottoms. Methinks we might need you.

It must have taken quite a bit of work and is somewhat original, but really isn't very funny.
At this point, I think the lot of you have spent more effort and time trying to figure out the deeper meaning in that little ditty than I spent planning it, banging it out, and posting it.
And I'd say I pretty much summed the whole thing up with "Amo Reductio ad Absurdum", but but if you want a deeper analysis of the real issues and of our times that this piece is addressing, here is the best I can come up with, presented in a bulleted list:
People should be careful when inventing words
People shouldn't speak or use a language until they understand it
I hate Doonesbury
I also hate King of the Hill
Star Trek is repetitive
Minority groups are too combative and make big issues out of little thing

Take your pants off.
But I wasn't wearing any pants to begin with... Ahh such a nice beeze...

At this point, I think the lot of you have spent more effort and time trying to figure out the deeper meaning in that little ditty than I spent planning it, banging it out, and posting it.
And I'd say I pretty much summed the whole thing up with "Amo Reductio ad Absurdum", but but if you want a deeper analysis of the real issues and of our times that this piece is addressing, here is the best I can come up with, presented in a bulleted list:
People should be careful when inventing words
People shouldn't speak or use a language until they understand it
I hate Doonesbury
I also hate King of the Hill
Star Trek is repetitive
Minority groups are too combative and make big issues out of little thing
Last one yeah a lot do but not all are small issues. Some really are important.

Star Trek is repetitive

Wesley Crusher: "Captain Picard, why did people from the twentieth century like wars, money, gambling, capital punishment, violence, substance abuse, racial fear, and King of the Hill? What is war, money, gambling, captial punishment, violence, substance abuse, and racial fear? I don't understaaaand. The twentieth century was so primitive! How did we ever survive as a species?! *angstwhine*"

Picard: "Sometimes, Wesley, we'll never know. We'll just have to accept that the twentieth century (i.e. target audience) was the most primitive century ever, and if they don't, er, didn't learn from their mistakes, we won't be here today to ponder about it."

Wesley: "And how! Gee wilikers, Captain! I'm sure glad they, the twentieth century, did decide to become better. If they hadn't I wouldn't have something to whine about!"

I had a hell of a laugh.
My roommates are identical twins.
They chant "clone rights now" and tell me ridiculous stories of discrimination, insisting on minority status. I just roll my eyes,but I had to print this out for them. You are as big a dork as they are. I mean that in the nicest way possible.:D

My roommates are identical twins.
They chant "clone rights now" and tell me ridiculous stories of discrimination, insisting on minority status. I just roll my eyes,but I had to print this out for them. You are as big a dork as they are. I mean that in the nicest way possible.:D
Hm, it seems that I might have a discovered a movement after all. First we conquer the gays, then the homophobes, and then we conquer the world! All show bow before me and my clone/twin army and tremble in fear at my iron fist of, er, equality.
Yes . . . equality.

Hm, it seems that I might have a discovered a movement after all. First we conquer the gays, then the homophobes, and then we conquer the world! All show bow before me and my clone/twin army and tremble in fear at my iron fist of, er, equality.
Yes . . . equality.

Remember that if you're one-in-a-million in China, there are a thousand people just like you. :D

After reading the first page, I think it's safe to assume that the other three consist of idiots not recognizing satire for what it is, and more intelligent people trying to explain to them.

After reading the first page, I think it's safe to assume that the other three consist of idiots not recognizing satire for what it is, and more intelligent people trying to explain to them.

You should read them anyway. Fun stuff. :)

http://70.86.201.113/imageserv2/temporary/PBF003ADSnailHarassment.jpg

http://70.86.201.113/imageserv2/temporary/PBF003ADSnailHarassment.jpg

*Laughs hard*

*Shits self*