NationStates Jolt Archive


If you got "God Powers", what would u do

Gassputia
21-01-2006, 22:48
If you had like 5 God powers to your use, what would you do?
Me, well dunno
Call to power
21-01-2006, 22:53
use my powers for kicks and porn
Kzord
21-01-2006, 22:53
Make the world a cool place to live.
Drunk commies deleted
21-01-2006, 22:54
Take over the world and rule as a benevolent yet slightly eccentric dictator.
The Penguin Union
21-01-2006, 22:55
world peace, end world hunger, end poverty, and cure all the world's desises. AND an army of penguins to take over the world with MUHAHAHAHA
Hordd
21-01-2006, 22:56
If I had God Powers I'd make myself immortal and force humanity into eternal slavery. I'd create all kinds of evil monsters to control my humans and live out my immortal life in complete bliss while having the most beautiful women in the world cater to my every need.

That'd be so kickass.
Gassputia
21-01-2006, 22:57
world peace, end world hunger, end poverty, and cure all the world's desises. AND an army of penguins to take over the world with MUHAHAHAHA
*Flashback to Batman*
Megaloria
21-01-2006, 22:57
Devour Planets.
Eli Sheol
21-01-2006, 23:01
I'd politely return that power to God rather than risk him coming downstairs and punching me in the stomach.
Drunk commies deleted
21-01-2006, 23:02
I'd politely return that power to God rather than risk him coming downstairs and punching me in the stomach.
But if you've got his powers then you're god. If he tries to punch you in the stomach you can send a plague of crabs to infest his shorts or something.
Heron-Marked Warriors
21-01-2006, 23:05
If you had like 5 God powers to your use, what would you do?
Me, well dunno

I'd do some stuff, go watch TV for a bit (but without advert breaks or trailers) and then come back and laugh at all the people debating my existence.
Gassputia
21-01-2006, 23:06
But if you've got his powers then you're god. If he tries to punch you in the stomach you can send a plague of crabs to infest his shorts or something.

People, people, the thing is God has given you 5 powers, like a giney or something from aladin
Heron-Marked Warriors
21-01-2006, 23:16
People, people, the thing is God has given you 5 powers, like a giney or something from aladin

Can I have the power to have all of god's powers?
Maraque
21-01-2006, 23:18
End world hunger, poverty, inequality. Rid the world of all diseases, and cure everyone who currently had one. Then, I would redistribute the worlds wealth equally among everyone.
Smunkeeville
21-01-2006, 23:21
stuff.........;)
[NS]Simonist
21-01-2006, 23:23
Hmm. First I'd get myself unlimited stocks of Skittles and Pepsi for the rest of my life, 'cause you can never have enough Skittles and Pepsi. Then, I'd magically make the right guys like me and the sleazy guys leave me alone. Third, I'd shift a wee bit of the climate patterns so that more of the African countries had better conditions in which to grow food. Fourth, I think I'd call all the uber-Christian whackjobs that make the rest of us Christians look bad, use a booming God voice, and tell them to buzz off and that I'd smite 'em if they didn't stop all that over-the-top stuff. Last.....I think I'd make it snow for a good while where I am (Kansas City) because we haven't had a fabulous snow in a few years.

If I happened to get a sixth power, I think I'd prove God to everybody so that everything shifts. The athiests, having their proof, will have to believe or be proven liars -- the faithful, having proof (which negates true faith), will flip the hell out. Yeah.
Super-power
21-01-2006, 23:27
I would discover who killed Kennedy!
Noctourne Allaeriel
21-01-2006, 23:32
1 - immortality
2 - shapeshifting
3 - telekenesis
4 - telepathy
5 - time travel

...for the first few days I'd probably make a mess of things ala Bruce Allmighty though ^.^
Corruptropolis
21-01-2006, 23:34
1. Immortality.
2. Ability to create things out of thin air.
3. Ability to read and control minds.
4. Ability to alter my physical appearence and condition.
5. Grant myself unlimited wishes... This isn't Alladin, right?

Then I shall rule this puny little planet, and everyone shall bow before me.

EDIT:

Note to self... Slay and/or banish God, Buddha and all the other divinities, before they find out I've been screwing with the world... Just to be safe...
Drunk commies deleted
21-01-2006, 23:39
1) Immortality
2) Omnipotence
3) Omniscience
4) Omnipresence
5) The power to keep Jolt's forums working for more than three days at a stretch.
Native Quiggles II
21-01-2006, 23:40
All knowledge
Time travel
Immortality (Eternal youth)
The ability to decide all political elections (Can you say no republicans?)
Telepathy
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
21-01-2006, 23:44
I would discover who killed Kennedy!
I'd kill Kennedy.
Then I'd unmake God, make my face appear on everybar of chocolate produced in the next 72 hours, grant myself eternal youth (that whole "you have immortality but you're gonna age and decay just the same" thing happens far to many times) and then I'd redistribute most of the world's wealth . . . to me.
Immortalists
21-01-2006, 23:46
1. Eternal youth, but still with the possibility to die at will, for me and everybody else on the list *g*
2. i'd create a spaceship and get away from here
3. increase my intelligence and become a hyper-intelligent being
4. escape from this universe and create my own
5. take the rest of the people I like into this universe and leave the rest of the mankind here so that they can destroy themselves
Heron-Marked Warriors
21-01-2006, 23:50
Has anyone said "Have lots of sex" yet?
Smunkeeville
21-01-2006, 23:57
Has anyone said "Have lots of sex" yet?
I get to do that anyway. ;) I am going to stick to my origninal answer of

stuff........;)

smart people can figure it out.
Drunk commies deleted
21-01-2006, 23:58
Has anyone said "Have lots of sex" yet?
God has sworn never again to have sex ever since he knocked up some Jewish chick in Bethlehem. People have'nt let him rest because of that one for 2000 years.
Dragons with Guns
22-01-2006, 00:00
end existence.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
22-01-2006, 00:02
Has anyone said "Have lots of sex" yet?
I've already got eternal youth, and the fact that I destroyed God should get some Atheist chicks excited, so I think I am already covered there.
Heron-Marked Warriors
22-01-2006, 00:03
God has sworn never again to have sex ever since he knocked up some Jewish chick in Bethlehem. People have'nt let him rest because of that one for 2000 years.

What if I make it "Have lots of safe sex"?

I get to do that anyway.

Yay for you. Woe are those of us who require divine intervention.

For the record, it's only because the woman I love lives hundreds of miles away and is in full time education. But even so, come on, Jesus, think of all the stuff I've done for you*...

*: so that I don't have to think of anything
Terrorist Cakes
22-01-2006, 00:04
Make cheesecake brownies every friday, but make them non-fattening. And make a bunch of t-shirts, starting with some Smiths ones, and one that says, "Pure Soprano."


And fix Jolt. It's frozen like ten times today.
Xenophobialand
22-01-2006, 00:05
1. Super-healing ability
2. Lay on hands ability
3. Super-strength
4. Telepathy
5. Now let me go back to 1993 as a precocious middle schooler with said powers.

Boy, I'd enjoy myself.
Tynaria
22-01-2006, 00:10
I think I'd start practicing my run-on sentences...

That, and immediately start looking for loopholes. I'd attempt everything from the old "wishing for more wishes" trick to the most complicated abortions of grammar and logic imaginable to squeeze out more power.
New Sans
22-01-2006, 00:17
Create a new planet, sow the seeds for the formation of life, grab some popcorn then laugh at the eventual formation of the mormans again.
Antanjyl
22-01-2006, 00:24
Powers...

Immortality, Healing Power, Power to Create Life, Flashy magical attack powers to show off, and last of all shapeshifting.

Of course I would create a newer, more perfect race and use them as my pawns in the new world order. ^_~ They'd be all supremely attractive badass cockroach-resilient fanatics and I'd use them to bring all the leaders of the world to me so I can show off how I'm the new big cheese. Then I would just tear down all the major religious centers(mecca, Jerusalem, etc.) and build giant temples to my glory! Then I would create life on Mars, and use that life to build me an enormous retirement palace.

Of course anyone who tries to piss me off will become deadified by my magical attack powers, which will be exceedingly showy and awe-inspiring. If I need sex I can just create the perfect being for me at whatever I currently fancy, or just heal a few dying people, which would probably help, along with my ability to shapechange into the most awe-inspiring being ever...

Oh yeah, I'd totally take advantage of every single human being on the planet with entirely new races. Since they're not considered human I could even go so far as to wipe away their free will if they do anything too messed up. Oh and every friday I will wait in my largest palace and answer random questions, though I'd probably lie alot. I'd also use the opportunity to heal the sickly, because people like that sort of thing.
Verdigroth
22-01-2006, 01:22
Powers I would take:

Eternal Youth
Childlike Curiosity
Power to Heal others
Power to Heal me...like Wolverine Healing Factor times a billion
Power to Smite the wicked.

The last one would be fun because you could try it on everyone without having to worry about accidently smiting someone good...because if they weren't wicked the power wouldn't work...on the downside I am not sure there would be any politicians left
Pure Metal
22-01-2006, 01:27
1. make amy 18 already
2. magically pass all her exams for her so she's not so stressed
3. cure her depression (and the vestiges of mine while i'm at it)
4. conjure up a magic wallet which always had the exact amount of cash you need inside of it. ditto with a magic credit card inside the wallet. use this to pay off parents' debts. and then buy a yacht
5. change my appearance slightly (lose weight etc) and give myself force-pull (whatever the fancy word for it is... tired)

i don't do powers, much. mostly acts.
i'm a simple god
Harlesburg
22-01-2006, 01:31
I would be the Christian God so i could do everything duh.

1)Control of Lighting
2)Control of Fire
3)Power to Heal
4)Metamorphesus/Shape Shifting capabilities
5)Strength of 12 Men
Europa Maxima
22-01-2006, 01:41
Annihilate everything but myself, then get extremely bored (like I am now), and finish myself off too. :)
Lovely Boys
22-01-2006, 02:08
1) Make 1/2 the worlds population gay - maybe they'll increase the odds of finding someone :D

2) Vanquish all forms of fundamentalism.

3) Remove all pollution, and anything we burn, or use has no affect on the environment :D

4) Give every American a passport and tell them to see the world - yes, the land beyond their boarders.

5) Turn everyones PC into Macintoshs (no, not the sweetie type) :D
Harlesburg
22-01-2006, 02:20
1) Make 1/2 the worlds population gay - maybe they'll increase the odds of finding someone :D

2) Vanquish all forms of fundamentalism.

3) Remove all pollution, and anything we burn, or use has no affect on the environment :D

4) Give every American a passport and tell them to see the world - yes, the land beyond their boarders.

5) Turn everyones PC into Macintoshs (no, not the sweetie type) :D
I thought Christchurch was full of gays last time i went there.
Bodies Without Organs
22-01-2006, 02:37
1) Make 1/2 the worlds population gay - maybe they'll increase the odds of finding someone :D

So 25% of the world's population are now lesbian and 25% of the world's population are no homosexual men. How does this help you find a partner (assuming that you're straight)?
Europa Maxima
22-01-2006, 02:39
So 25% of the world's population are now lesbian and 25% of the world's population are no homosexual men. How does this help you find a partner (assuming that you're straight)?
Umm, he isn't :p Duh. Even if 100% of the world's population was gay, I'd still be too picky to find a guy easily. :rolleyes:
Maraque
22-01-2006, 02:43
1) Make 1/2 the worlds population gay - maybe they'll increase the odds of finding someone :D

2) Vanquish all forms of fundamentalism.

3) Remove all pollution, and anything we burn, or use has no affect on the environment :D

4) Give every American a passport and tell them to see the world - yes, the land beyond their boarders.

5) Turn everyones PC into Macintoshs (no, not the sweetie type) :DI like that first one. :fluffle:

There may be 618.9 million homosexuals in the world, but they sure ain't here. :headbang:
Europa Maxima
22-01-2006, 02:48
I like that first one. :fluffle:

There may be 618.9 million homosexuals in the world, but they sure ain't here. :headbang:
And only 45 million of them in the EU...22 million if its just men :(
Harlesburg
22-01-2006, 02:50
And only 45 million of them in the EU...22 million if its just men :(
Are you a Gay too?:eek:
Maraque
22-01-2006, 02:53
"a" gay?

I resent that!
Europa Maxima
22-01-2006, 03:12
Are you a Gay too?:eek:
Yes, I am "a" gay :rolleyes: :p
Harlesburg
22-01-2006, 03:13
Yes, I am "a" gay :rolleyes: :p
LOL:p ;)
Europa Maxima
22-01-2006, 03:21
LOL:p ;)
Difficult to believe?
Saige Dragon
22-01-2006, 06:36
Hmmm....get totally ripped for the chicks. Fight God (I'd fight dirty, sucker punches, kick em' when he's down) just to see how tough this guy is. Get that girl in physics to shut-up...wait, even god-like powers wouldn't fix her so nix that one. Get myself a Yenko 427 Nova (in Fathom Green or Blue with the rally wheels). Oh shit, two more. Lets see.....get them to play Born to Raise Hell by Motorhead at my grade 12 grad this year. And I guess the last thing 5th thing I'd do is get the guts to ask this girl I like out...cheesy, but thats what I'd do.
M3rcenaries
22-01-2006, 06:44
Id probably get tricked into trading my God powers for a bag of beef jerkey and tickets to a baseball game.
CthulhuFhtagn
22-01-2006, 07:03
Unmake all of existence.
Lovely Boys
22-01-2006, 07:12
Umm, he isn't :p Duh. Even if 100% of the world's population was gay, I'd still be too picky to find a guy easily. :rolleyes:

Maybe thats my problem - my requirements, between the ages of 18-28, must have pulse, and of average build; maybe I should just slim it down to male with pulse.
Lovely Boys
22-01-2006, 07:14
Difficult to believe?

Not really, I thought Harlesburg was gay though; cute guy, surprised he hasn't got someone yet, well since he hasn't run through the forum with strearmers, I assume he hasn't.
Lovely Boys
22-01-2006, 07:16
Yes, I am "a" gay :rolleyes: :p

Ah, but are you a 'full time gay homosexualist' :p (Off Little Britain)
Dark Shadowy Nexus
22-01-2006, 07:21
I'd use my powers to convince people god does not exist.
Darwinianstan
22-01-2006, 08:11
Id freeze time so I could feel up and undress all the hot girls. good times, Id also wanna be invisible. by the way, hows being gay working out for you, Ive always wanted to try that. p.s. Im being serious for once
The Parkus Empire
22-01-2006, 09:18
Mabey i'd make a really cool game, but not much else. I mean i'd like to, but I couldn't handle that kind of power, and I wouldn't trust myself.
Pandamic
22-01-2006, 09:40
Absolutly nothing. No responsiblities, no school, no work, nothing. Just sit around and play video games, occasionally go outside, socialise a bit. To me, that's a god-like existance.
JuNii
22-01-2006, 10:05
5 God Powers...

Hmmm....

1) create a permament connection with God. then I'd Re write the bible so that it's not an interpretation of Gods word as written by a person translating the written word of someone who interviewed the cousin of the witness to God's word, but the word straight from the Main Man HIMSELF.

2) Purify Food and Drink. refill all the atiesian wells in the world and remove all the taint and chemicals polluting the food and water all over the world.

3) Purify land. make barren land viable. shrink back the deserts and make the lands fertile for growing plants.

4) Shape land. Make an Island for myself, fertile and self-sustaining. Filled with the latest and greatest technology man has created.

5) place an ever growing server on that Island that will be self repairing as well as Virus/Hacker proof and move NS forums from Jolt onto that uber server.
Lovely Boys
22-01-2006, 12:02
Id freeze time so I could feel up and undress all the hot girls. good times, Id also wanna be invisible. by the way, hows being gay working out for you, Ive always wanted to try that. p.s. Im being serious for once

Its actually not too bad - and you get the added perk that of having a partner who doesn't turn into atilla the hun every 28 days or whine about the 'biological clocking ticking'; so yeah, being gay is a good thing(tm)
Farmina
22-01-2006, 12:48
On god-like powers I have a strict policy of non-intervention. Things are bound to go wrong if you mess around with reality.

Actually, I might take just one power: eliminate acne from ever existing. As well as making so many people look better, surely it can't backfire, can it?
Rotovia-
22-01-2006, 12:51
Make life that little bit worse for everyone...
Noctourne Allaeriel
22-01-2006, 13:24
On god-like powers I have a strict policy of non-intervention. Things are bound to go wrong if you mess around with reality.

Actually, I might take just one power: eliminate acne from ever existing. As well as making so many people look better, surely it can't backfire, can it?
Sure it can! Far more people will get together and breed, the population will skyrocket since not everyone uses contraception, people will run out of food and have to eat each other and the planet will become covered in hot horney cannibals.

...so maybe that won't be so bad if you're into cannibals. >.>
Cahnt
22-01-2006, 13:44
If you had like 5 God powers to your use, what would you do?
Me, well dunno
Subject Fred Phelps, The Pope, George Bush, Tony Blair and Pat Robertson to the sort of odd transformation you see mentioned in classical mythology. (Obviously, Bush would need to become a chimp...)
Entralla
22-01-2006, 13:47
simple. I would kill off all humanity except for myself, and read books for the rest of eternity.
Rotovia-
22-01-2006, 13:49
simple. I would kill off all humanity except for myself, and read books for the rest of eternity.
There are so many things wrong with that, not least of which is you;d run out of books and eternity is infinite...
Cahnt
22-01-2006, 13:50
simple. I would kill off all humanity except for myself, and read books for the rest of eternity.
You'd run out of books after a while, though.

(Curses! Foiled again.)
Noctourne Allaeriel
22-01-2006, 13:53
You'd run out of books after a while, though.

(Curses! Foiled again.)
Well, when they've read everythng they can go back to the beginning and read it all again!

By the time they've taken the time to learn every language ever to be able to read everything written ever, then read everything, they'll have forgotten a good bulk of the things they've read when they started. Replay value at it's finest :)
Cahnt
22-01-2006, 13:57
Well, when they've read everythng they can go back to the beginning and read it all again!

By the time they've taken the time to learn every language ever to be able to read everything written ever, then read everything, they'll have forgotten a good bulk of the things they've read when they started. Replay value at it's finest :)
True, but if you're God, surely you become incapable of errors like forgetting anything?
DrunkenDove
22-01-2006, 14:02
I'd save them. Then I'd walk around naked stealing stuff and threaten anyone who tried to stop me with my God powers.
Noctourne Allaeriel
22-01-2006, 14:06
True, but if you're God, surely you become incapable of errors like forgetting anything?
But they never said they WERE god.. Remember, we only get five powers... and all they chose to do was kill off everyone, then be immortal so they could read forever.
Maldaathi
22-01-2006, 14:10
If I had God Powers I'd make myself immortal and force humanity into eternal slavery. I'd create all kinds of evil monsters to control my humans and live out my immortal life in complete bliss while having the most beautiful women in the world cater to my every need.

That'd be so kickass.

The world would rise up and kick your ass. Because all you state is that your immortal. 100 people own you and we can force you into eternal torture which you have to stand until the end of life itself, when after the sun SLOOOOOOOWLY engulfs the earth you will face pain worse than you can possible imagine. 100,000 years after that you would be floating in space with horrific burns while living with the constant pain of running out of air.
Cahnt
22-01-2006, 14:22
But they never said they WERE god.. Remember, we only get five powers... and all they chose to do was kill off everyone, then be immortal so they could read forever.
A fair point.
Gassputia
22-01-2006, 15:13
I'd save them. Then I'd walk around naked stealing stuff and threaten anyone who tried to stop me with my God powers.

Come to think of it thats the best one so far...
Pompous world
22-01-2006, 15:23
make everyone get along
get myself a girlfriend
speed up scientific progress so that we have planetary colonies and ftl ships
make everyone like radiohead
make the world a better place (i.e. no more pollution, exploitation, poverty, general well being etc).
Maldaathi
22-01-2006, 15:24
1. Invisibility
2. A choice of when I die.
3. Powers over Gravity.
4. Super Speed.
5. Having these powers in Grade/Year 4 onwards.
Great Scotia
22-01-2006, 16:25
I'd politely return that power to God rather than risk him coming downstairs and punching me in the stomach.

WORLD'S. BEST. ANSWER.
Askira
22-01-2006, 19:34
I'd go back in time and stick my finger in the Big Bang.
Kanabia
22-01-2006, 19:40
1. Ultimate guitar playing of doom.
2. Psychic-wedgie power
3. Sex-ray vision
4. Lightning bolt death ray thingy
5. Irresistable STFU attack.
Maegi
22-01-2006, 20:10
1. Eternal youth, but still with the possibility to die at will, for me and everybody else on the list *g*
2. i'd create a spaceship and get away from here
3. increase my intelligence and become a hyper-intelligent being
4. escape from this universe and create my own
5. take the rest of the people I like into this universe and leave the rest of the mankind here so that they can destroy themselves

Ditto 4 and 5...who needs anything else?
Farmina
23-01-2006, 02:34
Sure it can! Far more people will get together and breed, the population will skyrocket since not everyone uses contraception, people will run out of food and have to eat each other and the planet will become covered in hot horney cannibals.

...so maybe that won't be so bad if you're into cannibals. >.>

Perhaps a second power will cancel out the elimination of acne. I will need the power to make flesh toxic and then use it on humans. Hopefully that should ensure nothing goes wrong.

I think my policy of non-intervention is falling apart...
Ritlina
23-01-2006, 02:39
Oh, That's Easy, I've Been Planning This For YEARS.
1. Have The Power To Control The Bodies Of Every Person On Earth
2. Have The Power To Read The Minds Of Every Person On Earth
3. Have The Power To Control The Weather On Earth
4. Have Every Psychic Power You Can Think Of
5. Have The Ability To Read Everything Electromagnetical

And This Is All While Still Remaining Human. I'm A Living God. The Populace Cannot Overthrow Me, Since I Control Their Every Movement. I Can Make Them Do Anything. Hmm..... 365 Days In The Year, So That'd Mean 365 Wo- Ahh, Better Not Say. Eventually, The Populace Would Learn To Love Me. Note This Is NOT Mind Control. With Mind Control They Are Brainless Minions. In This Case, They Still Have Minds, They Just Can't Use Them As Well As They Used To! Only Problem Is If Aliens Invaded.... After All, I Said My Powers Were Limited To Every Person On Earth....
[NS:::]Prolificacy
23-01-2006, 02:40
If you had like 5 God powers to your use, what would you do?
Me, well dunno

Make myself Omnipotent.
Distort time so I always was.
Laugh at the Atheists.
Finish writing my book.
Sit back and relax.
The Hardworking People
23-01-2006, 03:07
1) Make myself immortal.

2) Get rid of all evil, including in myself.

3) Make everyone god like just like me.

After that I have nothing else I would want to do.
Naturality
23-01-2006, 05:46
Blow a shotgun over the world from my gigantic joint.

.. and make sure everyone has plenty of food.
Myotisinia
23-01-2006, 06:12
Let Michael Moore go on one of his customary and unsubstatiated rants, then force him to finish with the following statement.

If this is not the truth, may God strike me dead!

*zzzzzap*
Harlesburg
23-01-2006, 10:34
Maybe thats my problem - my requirements, between the ages of 18-28, must have pulse, and of average build; maybe I should just slim it down to male with pulse.
Your standards are too high.
pulses who needs them.
Difficult to believe?
No.
Amecian
23-01-2006, 10:43
I'd flood the earth, and keep only a few people alive. Then watch history repeat itself, laughing while I watch another NS General be made.:p
The Doors Corporation
23-01-2006, 10:55
If you had like 5 God powers to your use, what would you do?
Me, well dunno

sex

never ending
explosive
first time loss of virginity

sex

hot experienced

never ending

never ending











sex




never


ending
Wentoombley
23-01-2006, 11:01
1.To have the power over life and death (so i can kill someone then bring them back to life and ask if their is a heaven)
2.Have super genetics altering abilities (so i can make all the women get bigger;))
3.Never ending supply of beer (Like the magic pudding but the magic keg)
4.Make monkeys able to dance and talk as well as do back flips (That would be fun)
5.A t.v. that always has good shows on and never had ads.