NationStates Jolt Archive

Can two people of the same sexual orientation (and compatibility; i.e. a heterosexual male and female, homosexual males/females etc.) ever be totally platonic friends? I mean, like not succumb to sexual tension? I have had many friends tell me no, it isn't possible.

I tend to think yes, since I have had a male best friend for a number of years and never felt any inclination towards him, but I would like the opinions of the forum (plus I thought it would be an interesting departure from all the I.D. and sport topics we've been having on here lately).

Can two people of the same sexual orientation (and compatibility; i.e. a heterosexual male and female, homosexual males/females etc.) ever be totally platonic friends? I mean, like not succumb to sexual tension? I have had many friends tell me no, it isn't possible.

I tend to think yes, since I have had a male best friend for a number of years and never felt any inclination towards him, but I would like the opinions of the forum (plus I thought it would be an interesting departure from all the I.D. and sport topics we've been having on here lately).

Have you been watching 'When Harry Met Sally'?

I've had sex fill all my female friends. So my answer is no.

Yes, it's entirely possible.

Why not?
One of my best female friends ever just happened to be some 50 years older than me...

The stock answer is going to be, I think, that it is easier for chicks than it is for dudes-which, as legend has it, is why chicks like hanging out with gay dudes, who they then ironically become attracted to...

But yeah, I've got a ton of friends who are chicks who it has never crossed my mind that I should date them. It would be amazingly restrictive on who I could hang out with to try to 'go for the goods' of every chick I knew. It would limit the scope of my friends to dramaticly.

Having said that, it was a lot harder to practice when I was 17 or 18 than it is now. So that's probably a factor.

Have you been watching 'When Harry Met Sally'?

No, I'm under 30. :D

I say no scientific fact is people who spend time together (of the sex there butter slides on) almost always get attracted to each other

sad world we live in I guess

With people attracted to the opposite sex, I know that can happen.

However, I really can't speak for homosexuals. I don't have any personal insight.

No, I'm under 30. :D

So am I. I don't understand. :confused:

With people attracted to the opposite sex, I know that can happen.

However, I really can't speak for homosexuals. I don't have any personal insight.
Like with most things, I imagine it would depend on the individual.

I tend to think that in some cases, the resistance to sexual tension can actually deepen the emotional side of the friendship.

That's not to say that every friendship that's platonic is deeper than a sexual relationship, rather that in certain cases it can happen.

So am I. I don't understand. :confused:

I've never met anyone under thirty who has seen that movie.

sorry for confusing you, here's a fluffle: :fluffle:

Like with most things, I imagine it would depend on the individual.
Agreed.

I say no scientific fact is people who spend time together (of the sex there butter slides on) almost always get attracted to each other

sad world we live in I guess

But does it necessarily follow that they have to act on that attraction? Just because the two people are attracted to one another, does that negate the possibility of a platonic friendship?

I've never met anyone under thirty who has seen that movie.

sorry for confusing you, here's a fluffle: :fluffle:

Oh. Thank you. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
I've seen it 3 times and I absolutely love it.

I get confused easily. Not my fault though. I haven't slept for two days because it's so hot over here.

I tend to think that in some cases, the resistance to sexual tension can actually deepen the emotional side of the friendship.

That's not to say that every friendship that's platonic is deeper than a sexual relationship, rather that in certain cases it can happen.
This is why I'm liking the rise of movies that treat friendship stories like romance stories that was happening for a while, the Lost in Translations and Station Agents. They treated the formation of a friendship with the same weight usually reserved for romance stories. I was excited by this theme in movies and felt that was where Garden State fell short. With those other movies already out the love story not only felt forced and unnatural, but now completely unnecessary.

Oh. Thank you. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
I've seen it 3 times and I absolutely love it.

I get confused easily. Not my fault though. I haven't slept for two days because it's so hot over here.

Awww, I feel loved. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: So I'll love you back ;)

And to be precise, to me you're down there. (No not in the gutter sense: I'm in Brisvegas.). It hasn't been as hot lately, coz we've had rain, and wind. Stupid weather.

But does it necessarily follow that they have to act on that attraction? Just because the two people are attracted to one another, does that negate the possibility of a platonic friendship?

well you would have to avoid getting drunk/randy/awkward moments of silence/weird dream/other

a Girl/Boy/Plant monster-friend is just a friend you happen to be getting something out of so why does it matter?

This is why I'm liking the rise of movies that treat friendship stories like romance stories that was happening for a while, the Lost in Translations and Station Agents. They treated the formation of a friendship with the same weight usually reserved for romance stories. I was excited by this theme in movies and felt that was where Garden State fell short. With those other movies already out the love story not only felt forced and unnatural, but now completely unnecessary.

I've only seen Lost In Translation (coz it was set in Tokyo) and I loved it. Because of that very reason. I thought it was beautiful, and very welcoming that Sofia Coppola didn't feel the need to go down the cliched romance path. Could you tell me a little more about Station Agent? I wouldn't mind checking it out...

There's not having sex, and there's no one wants to have sex. Generally I would consider the later a technical, and not platonic. As in boxing, when the officials stop the fight, because though the spirit is willing, it's just not going to happen.

It's uncommon enough that the rule is "That's not possible." But, like all good rules, there are exceptions to prove it; such as childhood friends etc.

Can two people of the same sexual orientation (and compatibility; i.e. a heterosexual male and female, homosexual males/females etc.) ever be totally platonic friends? I mean, like not succumb to sexual tension? I have had many friends tell me no, it isn't possible.

I tend to think yes, since I have had a male best friend for a number of years and never felt any inclination towards him, but I would like the opinions of the forum (plus I thought it would be an interesting departure from all the I.D. and sport topics we've been having on here lately).
yes. I have many friends who are girls but still no GirlFriend. :(

well you would have to avoid getting drunk/randy/awkward moments of silence/weird dream/other

a Girl/Boy/Plant monster-friend is just a friend you happen to be getting something out of so why does it matter?

I've gotten drunk with my best friend before, and nothing has happened. I've also had awkward moments of silence and flirting with him. Nothing has ever happened.

Awww, I feel loved. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: So I'll love you back ;)

And to be precise, to me you're down there. (No not in the gutter sense: I'm in Brisvegas.). It hasn't been as hot lately, coz we've had rain, and wind. Stupid weather.

I have no idea where Brisvegas is.

Our weather is exceptionally stupid. I'm in South Australia, at the bottom of the world, and I get semi-tropical weather here. What I wouldn't give to live in Switzerland at the moment.:(

I have no idea where Brisvegas is.

Our weather is exceptionally stupid. I'm in South Australia, at the bottom of the world, and I get semi-tropical weather here. What I wouldn't give to live in Switzerland at the moment.:(

Brisbane, Queensland. It's our special private name (coz we're not special enough to have riots like Sydney, or a pile of churches like beautiful Adelaide, so we need to feel important :D )

It's definitely possible.
In my experience, there's two kinds of opposite sex friends friends:
- the one's you could actually see being attracted to sexually, but none of you ever acts on that. Though, obviously, it could happen one day and then those category of friends would turn into proof that, once again, it wasn't possible...
- the ones you're not even remotely attracted to sexually and won't ever be. That doesn't mean you find them unattractive or anything, you just wouldn't want to sleep with them, like, ever.
Those are rarer, at least in my life, but they exist.


However, I really can't speak for homosexuals. I don't have any personal insight.
If a heterosexual can be "just friends" with someone of the gender he/she is sexually attracted to, why on earth wouldn't the same be true of a homosexual? Sheesh.


I've only seen Lost In Translation (coz it was set in Tokyo) and I loved it. Because of that very reason. I thought it was beautiful, and very welcoming that Sofia Coppola didn't feel the need to go down the cliched romance path. Could you tell me a little more about Station Agent? I wouldn't mind checking it out...
Oh, I think you'll love Station Agent, then. It's a very, very beautiful, warm, and very funny film about three very different people, each with their own set of problems/quirks/oddities, striking up a great friendship. It's one my absolute favorite movies.

I've only seen Lost In Translation (coz it was set in Tokyo) and I loved it. Because of that very reason. I thought it was beautiful, and very welcoming that Sofia Coppola didn't feel the need to go down the cliched romance path. Could you tell me a little more about Station Agent? I wouldn't mind checking it out...
Station Agent (http://imdb.com/title/tt0340377/?fr=c2l0ZT1kZnx0dD0xfGZiPXV8cG49MHxrdz0xfHE9c3RhdGlvbiBhZ2VudHxmdD0xfG14PTIwfGxtPTUwMHxjbz0xfGh0bWw9 MXxubT0x;fc=1;ft=22) is about a sour dude who doesn't really like people that much whose only friend dies, who also happens to own the model train store he works at. I'm a little hazy on the details, so I don't remember if he buys or gets left this abandoned train station in New Jersey where he moves in and starts restoring it. The relationships form around some of the colorful characters that are in the town near the station.

It's really a good movie, I recommend it. As an after thought I made a link to the imdb page so you can see the comments on it there.

Thanks. :D

I hope it's been released in Australia.

If a heterosexual can be "just friends" with someone of the gender he/she is sexually attracted to, why on earth wouldn't the same be true of a homosexual? Sheesh.
Um...they're gay*? :D







*Think about all of the meanings and implications gay has, and then you'll see what I mean. In some circumstances, "gay" can mean, "hard to comprehend and predict."

*Think about all of the meanings and implications gay has, and then you'll see what I mean. In some circumstances, "gay" can mean, "hard to comprehend and predict."
I'll just pretend you're not serious, because if you are, I'm fresh out of words.

I'll just pretend you're not serious, because if you are, I'm fresh out of words.
No, not serious. Don't worry, you're not fresh out of words.

It is possible. I have friends I'm not attracted to and nothing would ever happen with, male friends who might as well be girls to me et c.

Of course I also have a friend who I fooled around with early on and then developed a friendship from there... if that counts. We joke back and forth about stuff but it won't happen sort of deal.