NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm totally bored. So bored in fact that I think it would be fun to have a thread where we make up random things, RPG style, where we have a noun and describe it with adjectives and other parts of English grammar until it sounds cool, deadly, funny, et cetera. Now, I encourage everyone to use more everday items, and not take swords, pikes, and bows and such. Take a regular everday wooden cooking spoon for example:

The Splinter Laden Magagony Cooking Spoon of Malevolent Castration

Have a ball!

Steel-toed Boots of Groin-kicking +3. :)

The undulating coils of the never ending eternity slinky

Orange of much hitting (+2/+2).

The termite mound of supernatural adventure and interdimensional questing.

*plays Foul-smelling Yellow Urinal of Doom*

+3HP

The Grubby 80-gram Stat Sheet of Frantic Erasure and Additions. +2 bonus to everything if the DM blinks...

*plays Foul-smelling Yellow Urinal of Doom*

+3HP
Counter with the Legendary Loo Block of Zagrathrond: +5 to stench resistance.

Cursed dice set of Perpetual 1s. :(

Counter with the Legendary Loo Block of Zagrathrond: +5 to stench resistance.
behold the Mighty Blue Squeezy Bottle of Toilet Duck! *brandishes*

may its sweet lemon scent vanquish thy loo block madness!

Fear my shield of swordsmanship and sword of blocking.

Fear even more my Deep Fried Tandoori Chicken Statuette of Destruction.

The Pink Glittery My Little Pony of Rape, Destruction and Oddly Placed And Highly Suspect Tentacles.

coupled with:

The Empty Coke Bottle of Crushed Dreams, Crippling Thirst, And Agonizing Minute-Long Treks to the Depths of the Icy Fridge (x4).

= about 1/76th of my desk space, currently. Soon I hope to add

The Full and Mighty Glass Coke Bottle of Thirst Quenching and Caffeine Highs, Vanquisher of Sleep and Protector of Precious but Fragile Insomnia.

Why yes, I do like coke... what of it?

*throws Bob the Tennis Ball, Harbringer of Death and All Things Slightly Icky at kanabia*

OMGWTF SHAED!:fluffle:


*FIres an Ignore Cannon*:p

*throws Bob the Tennis Ball, Harbringer of Death and All Things Slightly Icky at kanabia*

*thwaps with Flexible Double-Headed Adamantium Dildostaff of Fiery Magma Death +6*

*thwaps with Flexible Double-Headed Adamantium Dildostaff of Fiery Magma Death +6*
*moons j00*

wait, maybe thats not such a great idea with the mighty dildostaff in play :eek: :p

*moons j00*

wait, maybe thats not such a great idea with the mighty dildostaff in play :eek: :p

I guess that depends on what kind of stories you want in your memoirs. :p

uses the fork of horripilation - mwahahahaha, now you all have goosebumps (thanks morrowind) :D

One I thought of long ago: The Holy Broken Chair of Fluffiness (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/The_Holy_Broken_Chair_of_Fluffiness).

(the first of my three uncyclopedia articles. apart from a few spelling corrections, it is like I originally wrote it)

:fluffle: Fluffles of Ultimate Power (+ http://asl.ee.ucla.edu/publications/books/siam_1999_b/infinity.GIF HP and coolness ;) )

:fluffle: Fluffles of Ultimate Power (+ http://asl.ee.ucla.edu/publications/books/siam_1999_b/infinity.GIF HP and coolness ;) )


Spell: Cursed Fluffle of Penile Devastation.

Target is in agonising pain for 8d6 rounds plus one round for every level of the caster. The spell paralyses them and causes 50% of targets hitpoints in damage plus two points each second per two levels of the caster. A save vs. spell is available to negate the effect, with a penalty of -6. In addition, all current physical and spell protections on the target are negated. Spell only works on humanoid males.


Hehe. I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate.

Hehe. I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate.
Best. RPG. Ever.

*lurks*

Best. RPG. Ever.

*lurks*

A fair call. :)

Knights of the Old Republic is just as good, but I might be biased, being somewhat of a Star Wars fanboy and all. :p

Spell: Cursed Fluffle of Penile Devastation.

Target is in agonising pain for 8d6 rounds plus one round for every level of the caster. The spell paralyses them and causes 50% of targets hitpoints in damage plus two points each second per two levels of the caster. A save vs. spell is available to negate the effect, with a penalty of -6. In addition, all current physical and spell protections on the target are negated. Spell only works on humanoid males.


Hehe. I've been playing too much Baldur's Gate.
if only i knew what the hell you were talking about..... uh.... *moons again*
thats a save, right?

The Bump of Return

*bump*

Masterful Paddle of Spanking +3, +4 against Naughty Maids.