NationStates Jolt Archive

We here at the Gen are very funny people. As such, there are some people that excel at one liners. Enlighten us with their comedic goodness.

Whats a one liner?

Whats a one liner?

Jokes that are one line.

For example, one of my statments in the Pudding thread.

"Coherency is Overrated".

Aye. Now I re-understand.
Biology hw makes ones mind turn to mush

Aye. Now I re-understand.
Biology hw makes ones mind turn to mush

Indeed.

This one's a little too lowbrow for me. But I have a friend of mine who uses this when he gets called fat.

"The reason I'm fat, is because every time I fuck your mum, she makes me a sandwich!"

Dont underestimate lowbrow humor. Lowbrow people are drawn towards it. Us middlebrow people can still enjoy it.

"The reason I'm fat, is because every time I fuck your mum, she makes me a sandwich!"

Hee, that's a good one. I'd get it tatooed, but I don't know how to fight...

Hee, that's a good one. I'd get it tatooed, but I don't know how to fight...
In that case...
I challenge you to a fight!

In that case...
I challenge you to a fight!

Like sandblasting a soupcracker, but very well...

KEEEYEYEYEYAHAHAHAIIII!!!!!

(Strikes "crane technique" pose from Karate Kid, totters, falls over, injures self)

First round goes to you, but next time-owowowowow, shit, my knee...

Hahaha the power of nothing compels me on towards victory!

Hahaha the power of nothing compels me on towards victory!
Odd, I never had you picked for a Buddhist.

Only in fights.
Nirvana will kick your ass .

Hahaha the power of nothing compels me on towards victory!

I will now go into training at "Maury O'Shaugnessy Goldbergstein's Krav Maga Dojo and Authentic Irish Boxing Emporium", for a training montage.

Only in fights.
Nirvana will kick your ass .
Meh, I was never a fan of their work, thought they were a bit ovver hyped myself, and since the Cobain offed himself, I'm less than intimidated.

I will now go into training at "Maury O'Shaugnessy Goldbergstein's Krav Maga Dojo and Authentic Irish Boxing Emporium", for a training montage.
Ill get the Queen albums.

Ill get the Queen albums.

I've got the "Crown Jewels" boxed set already.

Belongs to my wife, though. When I train, I prefer music that reflects my personal level of dedication and intensity. Mostly Weird Al Yankovic, Dare to Be Stupid, that kind of thing.

(Executes flawless double left jab, falls over, injures self)

Take a salt pill! Maximises concentration and nausea!

"Gay fishing, what, do they fish for Rainbow trout?"

I made that up when watching a show about the Gay Fishing company.

"Yer Erse Is Oot Th'Windee!"

A battle cry of sorts.

'Celibacy isn't an inherited characteristic'

Common sense is not so common - Voltaire

I've got the "Crown Jewels" boxed set already.

Belongs to my wife, though. When I train, I prefer music that reflects my personal level of dedication and intensity. Mostly Weird Al Yankovic, Dare to Be Stupid, that kind of thing.

(Executes flawless double left jab, falls over, injures self)
Hey Saint,
GUESS WHO was the first fan to sign Weird Al?
I'll give you a little more ... it was at the same time he was signing my Dare to Be Stupid album.

:D

BTW i'm not making it up. The local paper carried the pic under "Weirdness Draws a Crowd" - i'm there with my black Levi jacket and the Alapalooza headband (the one with the Al-a-saur on it)

I used to be against abortion, but after meeting you, I'm in favour of it in cases of incest.

In reply to "Shit happens"

"Shit never just happens, it usually requires the assistance of at least one asshole"

I liked the line Groucho Marx uttered when he was told that Jewish people weren't allowed to use the pool in some club: "My daughter is only half Jewish, can she go in up to her waist?"