NationStates Jolt Archive

Let's say that an evil, giant, titanium-clad baby seal kidnapped two people. They are both the same age. The first kid one is intelligent, he was accepted into the finest universities, has a 4.0 average, 36 on his ACT, near perfect SAT, encyclopedic knowledge of politics, philosophy, of economics, and physcis, but he's an asshole. He's a son of a bitch and everyone knows it, but he could do great things. Now the other kid just dropped out of high-school. He's addicted to drugs, fails at almost everything he does, stupid as a pile of shit and has no prospects in life. However is a kind, loving person. Now the baby seal says you may save one of them and he'll eat the other. Which would you save, the asshole genius or the kind idiot?


Goddamn it, I messed up the poll. Eh, screw it go on.

Asshole genius every time. Despite the fact that he's an asshole he's more likely to bring advancements and progress in his chosen field(s).

I'd grab the evil, giant, titanium-clad baby seal, and get people pay to see it. I don't quite see how I could make money out of the two people.

I'd grab the evil, giant, titanium-clad baby seal, and get people pay to see it. I don't quite see how I could make money out of the two people.
Whore them out to 1,000 fat people?

I'd grab the evil, giant, titanium-clad baby seal, and get people pay to see it. I don't quite see how I could make money out of the two people.
You're ignoring the lucrative market in international organ harvesting. A healthy person's organs can be worth quite alot of money.

probably the kind idiot cos i feel some form of connection with him...

You're ignoring the lucrative market in international organ harvesting. A healthy person's organs can be worth quite alot of money.
Yeah, but that's short term. Maybe £1 million tops straight away, whereas I could have a steady income for life showing off my giant seal.

The genius. There will always be a plentiful supply of idiots, but genius is an asset indeed.

The genius. There will always be a plentiful supply of idiots, but genius is an asset indeed.
yep yep ^^ One less idiot won't make the world any worse :p

I'd help the seal kill them both, then club the seal. Of course, I'd have to gain its trust so it would take off the titanium armour, but that's what I hope to achieve in helping him kill the people. Maybe I'd take it out to dinner, as well, before clubbing it. Y'know....for good measure.

Wow, I wonder how soon PETA's going to come beat me and revoke my membership....

probably the kind idiot cos i feel some form of connection with him...
You're being held hostage by a seal?

You're being held hostage by a seal?
Let's do the brave thing and taunt PM for his hostage state.

Or, I mean....I guess we could save him. But that would take quite an effort, and y'know, Saturday is my day off and all....

*squeals like a sissy*

Technically, since the seal is holding both hostage, releasing one of his own choosing in no way classifies as a save on my part.

I would ask the seal to let one go, then I would Save the other, in accordance with our agreement that I would be allowed to Save one of them. By the time the seal knows what's going on, the one he'd be allowed to eat has already fled the evyl secret baby seal headquarters.

First, I would convince Bush that the seal was hiding WMDs in his titanium suit. After the invasion, I would sell the seal blubber to Haliburton at favorable rates, and work from the inside to change the government of Antarctica to one that is more friendly to the US (not caring if it were more friendly to its own country of course) to insure future blubber concessions. I would start an advertising campaign to influence people to buy cars that ran on seal blubber as a way to combat global warming.

As to the asshole and the idiot, I am assuming that they would be collateral casualties in the early stages of the War Against Aquatic Mammals, but I am betting I could convince the world that they were terrorists anyway.

Then I would write a best selling book, sell the movie rights, and retire in luxury to a tropical island where there were no seals, and vow to stay out of any future conflicts between idiots, assholes and animals in any sort of armor at all.

The kind idiot, and here's why-

The asshole may be a genius, but any contribution that the little fucktard makes will be informed by his asshole nature. He's an asshole, is he going to do something for the common good? Fuck no, he'll develop something assholish like a way to give rich white dudes fat chubbies or some stock shuffle that dicks over an entire town for extra 2% return. He's an asshole, whatever his genius brings will likely be assholish. The world doesn't need a little evil genius.

Now sure, there are a lot of idiots out there, but a well meaning idiot is livable because his hearts in the right place. I can live with him not being able to program his VCR or whatever. Maybe, if he's got a sense of humor, he might even be a kick to hang out with.

he'll develop something assholish like a way to give rich white dudes fat chubbies
lol i wasn't expecting that :p

i wholeheartedly agree with your post's sentiment though :)

Shoot both hostages, then shoot the seal.

That'll teach hostage-takers in the future! (do it enough and hostage-taking won't be an issue anymore... why take hostages when they're just going to get shot?)

no one of them

The kind idiot.
I don't care if one's brilliant and the other is not - one's an asshole and the other is, well, not. Besides, what good would ever come out of all that brilliance when the one possessing it is an asshole? Nothing, so there.

gee, I have to choose between the asshole genius (who would be my husband about 6 years ago) or the kind idiot (who would be me about 7 years ago) hmm....

My husband has overcome his asshole problem, but then again I have overcome my drug issues..........hmm........

I am going to have to go with the genius, it's more likely that even as an asshole he could "do something important" than the druggie, because odds are the druggie just won't get any better. ;)

Let's say that an evil, giant, titanium-clad baby seal kidnapped two people. They are both the same age. The first kid one is intelligent, he was accepted into the finest universities, has a 4.0 average, 36 on his ACT, near perfect SAT, encyclopedic knowledge of politics, philosophy, of economics, and physcis, but he's an asshole. He's a son of a bitch and everyone knows it, but he could do great things. Now the other kid just dropped out of high-school. He's addicted to drugs, fails at almost everything he does, stupid as a pile of shit and has no prospects in life. However is a kind, loving person. Now the baby seal says you may save one of them and he'll eat the other. Which would you save, the asshole genius or the kind idiot?


Goddamn it, I messed up the poll. Eh, screw it go on.

I'd save the idiot.

Because the smart asshole should've been able to figure a way out of this mess. :p

I refuse to choose, bargaining that the seal can't eat them both. And if it can, well, I tried to be clever, so it's not my fault anyway.

I would ask the seal which one it thinks I should save and leave it at that. If the seal refuses to give an answer, then neither.

The one with the better porn collection.

First, I would convince Bush that the seal was hiding WMDs in his titanium suit. After the invasion, I would sell the seal blubber to Haliburton at favorable rates, and work from the inside to change the government of Antarctica to one that is more friendly to the US (not caring if it were more friendly to its own country of course) to insure future blubber concessions. I would start an advertising campaign to influence people to buy cars that ran on seal blubber as a way to combat global warming.

As to the asshole and the idiot, I am assuming that they would be collateral casualties in the early stages of the War Against Aquatic Mammals, but I am betting I could convince the world that they were terrorists anyway.

Then I would write a best selling book, sell the movie rights, and retire in luxury to a tropical island where there were no seals, and vow to stay out of any future conflicts between idiots, assholes and animals in any sort of armor at all.

:D

's right! That's a terrorist-SEAL that is. Hey, isn't that a military thing? It's not the Seal of the President of the USA, is it? We'd be in trouble then. And again, I haven't got the faintest idea what I'm talking about, really. But once I had a royal seal...

:D

's right! That's a terrorist-SEAL that is. Hey, isn't that a military thing? It's not the Seal of the President of the USA, is it? We'd be in trouble then. And again, I haven't got the faintest idea what I'm talking about, really. But once I had a royal seal...
Nah, it's just a Navy SEAL.

"In the Na..."

*Knifed*

Neither, I would wait for the seal to get distracted eating them, then build a giant club and club the baby seal.

I'd save the kind bum. If I give him a chance to restart his life, he might change his attitude towards it. And if he doesn't, then, hey, the worlds full of assholes, genius or otherwise, it's not going to miss one

The asshole genius. Who I would then force to clone the kind idoit. I would then force them to mate until one of their offspring was a kind genius. I would then kill the kind idiot clone, the other kids and the asshole genius.

The asshole genius. Who I would then force to clone the kind idoit. I would then force them to mate until one of their offspring was a kind genius. I would then kill the kind idiot clone, the other kids and the asshole genius.

I wouldn't save either one. They are both potential competitors for resources and mates in my genepool and better off eliminated.

The kind idiot. There's more than enough intelligent assholes on the planet as it is...

Shoot the seal with a tungsten bullet. Look it up, it's a harder metal than titanium, its name is only less sexy.

Seal roast, anyone?

Are you kidding the Asshole "Genius" would just sit there, create and make money for himself, He'd abuse power and manipulate the masses, NEVER helping the others who are AS HE SEES IT "beneath" him.

Slice his Fucking obnoxious blighter out society and start to help those that have a kind heart and progress them to a learned state. It's a Long time investment put into the good and they will help you and the world later.

Muslims need not apply.

rich

I'd save the idiot.

Because the smart asshole should've been able to figure a way out of this mess. :p

I concur.

I would save the kind idiot. If this asshole is such a genius, he can help his own damn self. It's not as if he'd help me if he were in my position, so screw him. Then, after I pledge my loyalty and service to my new evil baby seal master, I would plead to be ale to watch the spectacle of the asshole being devoured.

The kind idiot. The asshole genius is competition, not to mention an asshole.

Let's say that an evil, giant, titanium-clad baby seal kidnapped two people. They are both the same age. The first kid one is intelligent, he was accepted into the finest universities, has a 4.0 average, 36 on his ACT, near perfect SAT, encyclopedic knowledge of politics, philosophy, of economics, and physcis, but he's an asshole. He's a son of a bitch and everyone knows it, but he could do great things. Now the other kid just dropped out of high-school. He's addicted to drugs, fails at almost everything he does, stupid as a pile of shit and has no prospects in life. However is a kind, loving person. Now the baby seal says you may save one of them and he'll eat the other. Which would you save, the asshole genius or the kind idiot?


Goddamn it, I messed up the poll. Eh, screw it go on.I chose other. For I will endevor to save the Evil Baby Seal.

I would convince it that eating either one would be bad for it's health. the kind idiot would have so many trace drugs in his system that eating him would be certain death.

the Smart guy probably isn't very physically fit, so pointing out how stringy he was would be one way to convince the seal, but I would go and play up to his evilness... and convince him (away from the asshole) that letting the kid[s] go would throw off the forces of good by making them think he "Turned over a new leaf." then (with the proper speech writer) with a moving speech, proclaim your actions were due to the trauma of your mother dying to save you from nasty human poachers and that at the last moment, you realized that by taking one of their lives would make you no better than them.
with such a speech, capitalizing on your natural cutness and personal plight, you will gain more influence over population... and perhaps even become Govenor. Point out that if Ahnold does manage to run for President, (by overturning the amendment) then your shot to become the leader of one of the powerful nations on earth is no small coup... play your cards right and you could end up ruling the world.


and all that without getting bloodstains on your armor. (which is a bitch to remove.)

I'm not good with tough decisions

*looks at videos to decide which to buy, "Ernest goes to the Beach" or "Ernest doesn't go to the beach."*

1. Why is the baby seal clad in titanium.

2. I might hurt my foot but if I kick hard enough.. oh hold on that may be aginast my jainist pursuits..


I would offer myself as a sacrifice to appease the seal, thats gotta be worth some good karma.

Consideirng I would prolly be drugged and strapped to a bed explaining the dead person on leaving the scene due to me saying a talking baby seal in titanium gave me an ultimatum.. it would save much future issues.

Of course I would perhaps try to convince the seal not to eat the people either that or just walk away.. let the seal decide so it wouldn't be on my conscience.

People arn't as%holes just ambitious. If I valued sex all men would be as%holes, especially ones messing around with females I'd like to have sex with. It ain't complicated but I don't go around killing people.

I could alternatively try to get some last wishes for the two if the druggy is hi they may not realize they are being eaten thus no harm would come from it.

But if this were an ideal world the titanium seal would most likely pass out due to heat stroke on the beach, then all three of us would unwind drinking coconut rum watching a few birds until the sun sets with music from the club behind us parting.

Latter I'd get new batteries for the seal. And let the as$hole borrow it to improve their personality.

And they all lived happily ever after.

1. Why is the baby seal clad in titanium.

2. I might hurt my foot but if I kick hard enough.. oh hold on that may be aginast my jainist pursuits..


I would offer myself as a sacrifice to appease the seal, thats gotta be worth some good karma.

Consideirng I would prolly be drugged and strapped to a bed explaining the dead person on leaving the scene due to me saying a talking baby seal in titanium gave me an ultimatum.. it would save much future issues.

Of course I would perhaps try to convince the sea not to eat the people either that or just walk away.. let the seal decide so it wouldn't be on my conciounce.

People arn't as%holes just ambitious. If I valued sex all men would be as%holes, especially ones messing around with females I'd like to have sex with. It ain't complicated but I don't go around killing people.

I could alternatively try to get some last wishes for the two if the druggy is hi they may not realize they are being eaten thus no harm would come from it.

But if this were an ideal world the titanium seal would most likely pass out due to heat stroke on the beach, then all three of us would unwind drinking coconut rum watching a few birds until the sets with music from the club behind us parting.

Latter I'd get new batteries for the seal. And let the as$hole borrow it to improve their personality.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Asshole genius every time. Despite the fact that he's an asshole he's more likely to bring advancements and progress in his chosen field(s).
Exactly.

I know too many asshole, straight A, geniuses. The annoy the heck out of me. I'd save the kind guy. If it's anything we need in the world, its more kindness.

The logical solution would be to tell the seal to eat both of them, as they are both significant drains on society. First the Asshole Genius: while he may have the potential for greatness, chances are also very high that his great potential will lead to bad things for society due to his complete and total lack of conscience, compassion or soul. On the other hand you must also send a message by condemning the Kind Idiot: kindness and compassion is not enough, it must be coupled with responsibility and some semblance of a brain.

yep yep ^^ One less idiot won't make the world any worse :p

I disagree, another unpunished asshole makes the world worse for everyone, like the butterfly that causes a hurricane, a.k.a "asshole chaos theory"

(Ok, I made that up, but it's probably true... if you take ten steps back and really look)

I'd say it's a bad time for being an asshole for the seal will club him to death while I and the kind idiot stand by and watch. Case solved.