NationStates Jolt Archive

Hmmm. I don't know. My brother is always on the computer(:rolleyes: ) and it really annoys me. He probably thinks he's the only one who matters or something. How could I get on the computer without him getting grumpy and practically breaking the computer desk. I'm sick of it!

Get him involved in a more time-consuming hobby. Like drugs. You need real rare talent(like Pure Metal) to find the time for both. :)

start off with alcohol first cause its cheap and it's legal.

How old is he, how old are you, are you male or female?

These facts will all affect the evil plan I concoct to gain you more computer time.

Get him involved in a more time-consuming hobby. Like drugs. You need real rare talent(like Pure Metal) to find the time for both.
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Seconded. Cocaine is a good option. He'll be too busy cutting out his next line to mess with the computer.

Hey I'm only young! I can't get drugs and I think my dad would notice a missing beer or 10.


I don't want to have to use the 95!

How old is he, how old are you, are you male or female?

These facts will all affect the evil plan I concoct to gain you more computer time.


Do all of your plans involve some element of evil, or is this just a freak occurance? Cause it seems quite a minor matter to unveil the whole megalomanical aspect to it.

marijuanna will make your brother forget computers exist

Seeing as we're on the drugs topic... If you use some form of sedative, you can simply drag him away from the computer, no arguements...

How old is he, how old are you, are you male or female?

These facts will all affect the evil plan I concoct to gain you more computer time.

14

12 (I know I'm ashamed)

male

kick you brother in the balls as hard as you can, and when he's down you shove some zanax down his throat and you'll be on easy street for a few hours.

Ask your father to buy your brother a PC in the black market. They can be very cheap there.

kick you brother in the balls as hard as you can, and when he's down you shove some zanax down his throat and you'll be on easy street for a few hours.

ummmmm. What's zanax?


Why the black market? I live in Shetland!

Install one of those monitoring programmes and then use what he does at the computer against him.

Blackmail - it's a staple of inter-sibling relationships.

Damn, here I thought this thread was going to be a tribute to the Alice in Chains song.

ummmmm. What's zanax?


Why the black market? I live in Shetland!
It's spelled Xanax. It's the brand name of a short-acting benzodiazepine family tranquilizer. Used to control anxiety, panic attacks and to help insomniacs sleep.

ummmmm. What's zanax?


Why the black market? I live in Shetland!

You can do it without the xanax, but you will have to keep kicking him in the nuts every ten minutes or so. :)

oops didnt notice the typo. :D

if you dont have xanax a couple of tylenol PM should suffice

Install one of those monitoring programmes and then use what he does at the computer against him.

Blackmail - it's a staple of inter-sibling relationships.

YAY! :D

Just bribe him with porn.
Then blackmail him with said porn..

Install one of those monitoring programmes and then use what he does at the computer against him.

Who says you need evidence? You could just say he's been jerkin' the gerkin' on smutty sites, It would probably get him banned from the computer altogether.

Just bribe him with porn.
Then blackmail him with said porn..Especially if it's gay porn.

oops didnt notice the typo. :D

if you dont have xanax a couple of tylenol PM should suffice
Nah, the tylenol part will kill his liver. Just use Benadryl. It's the same sleep-inducing ingredient in Tylenol PM without the pain killer.

PS. Don't. It's not cool to dose people without their permission. Unless you dose a politician who's about to give a speech with loads of LSD. Then it's OK.

or beastiality porn


but then that's just gross and he would deserve yet another kick in the nuts


Nah, the tylenol part will kill his liver. Just use Benadryl. It's the same sleep-inducing ingredient in Tylenol PM without the pain killer.

PS. Don't. It's not cool to dose people without their permission. Unless you dose a politician who's about to give a speech with loads of LSD. Then it's OK.


shit i always forget about benadryl.

Who says you need evidence? You could just say he's been jerkin' the gerkin' on smutty sites, It would probably get him banned from the computer altogether.Yeah, it hard to tell how put all those dirty urls in the browser-history. And if you pull the wistle on it, the blame will probably fall to him.

Especially if it's gay porn.

Good idea, but where would you get it? Turn up to some 'brown-pipe engineer's club alleyway in a fake beard, trench-coat, and sunglasses?

if you want to be really evil...

Use one of the following:

1) If you use IE, go into the options panel from there and set a parental password that only you would know and every time he asks to use it, say you need two minutes. Turn it on and instant blockage for him. The only way it can be reset is if someone else knows the password or you completely reinstall Windows.

2) Make an account for yourself and then change the password on the default account that everyone uses and log out everytime he wants to use it, thus rendering the password his knows useless.

This may require you to delete the original account first if it isn't the admin account. If it is the admin account, create another and lock down the default.

Once you have the account created, making the password bloody impossible, then write it down and store it in your school locker for safe keeping.

3) Buy a spare ethernet cable and poke a hole in your current one.

Switch the cables everytime you switch computers.

The computer still works, but the ethernet cable is fucked because one of the twisted pairs is wrecked, thus disrupting the flow of data.

4) Go into the router, make a backup of the router settings.

When he wants to use it, block ALL outgoing ports.

When you come back, upload the file with the settings that allow you to use it

5) Get a firewall that he doesn't know about...let's say, Sygate and set it to deny ALL outbound and inbound data packets from the internet and other internet based applications.

6) Change the keyboard language on him.

7) Get Iconoid and make the icons move using the 'dance' feature, thus making it unuseable unles he reboots. If he has to reboot, set a bios password (case sensitive. Make sure it's easy for you to remember and you don't type it in wrong).

Good idea, but where would you get it? Turn up to some 'brown-pipe engineer's club alleyway in a fake beard, trench-coat, and sunglasses?

Oh, please. Gay porn is available in any reputable smut shop worth its name.

Oh, please. Gay porn is available in any reputable smut shop worth its name.

Oh, I wouldn't know you see...

Oh, I wouldn't know you see...

Sure you wouldn't.

Sure you wouldn't.

*sweating* err... erm... .... I thought that inflatable was a novelty balloon! Honest!

Oh, I wouldn't know you see...
What? You've never gone to a porn shop? For shame! Support your local Adult Bookstore. It's the patriotic thing to do.

What? You've never gone to a porn shop? For shame! Support your local Adult Bookstore. It's the patriotic thing to do.

Yeah!....It's for helping the economy!

Yeah!....It's for helping the economy!
It's one of the few small businesses not threatened by the Walmart juggernaut.

What? No one likes my evil ideas? (pg 2).

It's one of the few small businesses not threatened by the Walmart juggernaut.

Thank God for puritanism among the US based conglomerates!

It's one of the few small businesses not threatened by the Walmart juggernaut.

Wait till they open "whoremart", or something like that.

Thank God for puritanism among the US based conglomerates!
Strangely enough, I think we really can thank god, or at least religion for that.

What? No one likes my evil ideas? (pg 2).
I don't know.



How about someone makes a Non violent suggestion.

He'll see this thread sometime :eek:

How about someone makes a Non violent suggestion

Hmm...non violent eh? It might just be crazy enough to work.

How about suggesting a timetable to your parents with equal amounts of time for both of you? You could have punishments for not keeping to it.

I don't know.



How about someone makes a Non violent suggestion.

He'll see this thread sometime :eek:
Uhm... all my suggestions were non-violent. In fact...

The only violence would stem from his frustration.

...is kidnapping non-violent?

Hmmm. I don't know. My brother is always on the computer(:rolleyes: ) and it really annoys me. He probably thinks he's the only one who matters or something. How could I get on the computer without him getting grumpy and practically breaking the computer desk. I'm sick of it!

Tell him you saw him looking at porn. That should do something.