NationStates Jolt Archive

Remember that French guy who was kidnapped in Iraq and the insurgents demanded that the French forces should leave Iraq in order to secure his release?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4565318.stm

Well, he's been released.

So here's my conspiracy theory. The kidnapping only makes sense if France actually did participate in Operation Iraqi Freedom. In response to the kidnapping, the French fired up their time machine and altered events in the past to prevent themselves from ever intervening in Iraq. We would have no memory of such intervention by France because it's been wiped from our past. We only know about the French hostage because his release took place after the French altered time.

Remember that French guy who was kidnapped in Iraq and the insurgents demanded that the French forces should leave Iraq in order to secure his release?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4565318.stm

Well, he's been released.

So here's my conspiracy theory. The kidnapping only makes sense if France actually did participate in Operation Iraqi Freedom. In response to the kidnapping, the French fired up their time machine and altered events in the past to prevent themselves from ever intervening in Iraq. We would have no memory of such intervention by France because it's been wiped from our past. We only know about the French hostage because his release took place after the French altered time.

Ahhh, but you have created a temporal paradox my friend... how was he ever taken hostage to be released in the first place if the French altered history to prevent the circumstances under which it occured?

But then again, every good conspiracy theory has it's gaping flaws...

Ahhh, but you have created a temporal paradox my friend... how was he ever taken hostage to be released in the first place if the French altered history to prevent the circumstances under which it occured?

But then again, every good conspiracy theory has it's gaping flaws...
Sure it does "Reformentia".

Ahhh, but you have created a temporal paradox my friend... how was he ever taken hostage to be released in the first place if the French altered history to prevent the circumstances under which it occured?

But then again, every good conspiracy theory has it's gaping flaws...
The Reptillian Saucer People made that paradox possible in order to warn us of the looming French time machine threat.

Wouldn't they have used it to stop the riots? Or are the riots a result of them botching an attempt to fix something else...? My god man!

if the french have a time machine maybe theyll go back in time to get rid of all the white flags they raised.

Wouldn`t it be smarter for the french to go back before hitler invaded and save themselfs from a future of pussy ass weaklings who are famous for the quote "We give up."

Wouldn`t it be smarter for the french to go back before hitler invaded and save themselfs from a future of pussy ass weaklings who are famous for the quote "We give up."

But then we'd only be able to mock the Americans, and they'd probably go crazy without someone to lash out against.

if the french have a time machine maybe theyll go back in time to get rid of all the white flags they raised.

Wouldn`t it be smarter for the french to go back before hitler invaded and save themselfs from a future of pussy ass weaklings who are famous for the quote "We give up."

Actually, the only people who think they're pussy ass weaklings always raising white flags seem to be, er, the British and the Americans. Big surprise there. :rolleyes:
Not even in Germany, which after all was the one to do a good part of the invading, are the French constantly bashed like that. Seriously, gah.

But then we'd only be able to mock the Americans, and they'd probably go crazy without someone to lash out against.

That puts it a lot more succinctly. Thanks. :)

But then we'd only be able to mock the Americans, and they'd probably go crazy without someone to lash out against.

tis true, we do need some one to vent our anger and frustation on. After all its the french's fault were all fat and stupid and we like to invade countries that have nothing to do with us. wait I mean the french make us do that...hopfully the CIA doesn`t read this or i`ll spend some time infront of a very bright light.

Actually, the only people who think they're pussy ass weaklings always raising white flags seem to be, er, the British and the Americans. Big surprise there. :rolleyes:
Not even in Germany, which after all was the one to do a good part of the invading, are the French constantly bashed like that. Seriously, gah.

Did you know the french have NEVER won a war in the past 1000 years apart from when they were
(a) Were led by a non-frenchman
(b) Had more than 3 significant allies
(c) Against other frenchmen


http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

If the French had a time machine, Americans would be thin and would like jazz and would never eat packaged sliced cheese or soft bread, because they'd be using it to fix everything they don't like about us. They wouldn't waste technology like that on terrorists or riots or kidnappings.

If the French had a time machine, Americans would be thin and would like jazz and would never eat packaged sliced cheese or soft bread, because they'd be using it to fix everything they don't like about us. They wouldn't waste technology like that on terrorists or riots or kidnappings.
Give them some time. Those changes are probably still in the planning stages. We might all wake up again today looking like this

http://www.natashascafe.com/images/products/beretgenemk2.jpg

and chain smoking cigarettes.

There'd be no MacDonald's or Disneyland or supersizing or Big Gulps and we'd all work 35 hours a week and get the whole month of August off. I'm starting to wish the French did have a time machine.

Give them some time. Those changes are probably still in the planning stages. We might all wake up again today looking like this

http://www.natashascafe.com/images/products/beretgenemk2.jpg

and chain smoking cigarettes.
What the hell do they need time for? They've got a damn machine. Frigging lazy French. :D