NationStates Jolt Archive

Nominations have been taken, and the list of potential deities to choose from to become the new God established. (poll coming)

Seeing as I nominated him, Czardas.

Pure Metal for godhood!

Wait, I nominated three people and now I can only vote for one?

Wait, I nominated three people and now I can only vote for one?

Yep. :)

Yep. :)
That's...that's....voter fraud! Or something.

Ah, what the hell, off to the polls it is.

That's...that's....voter fraud! Or something.

Ah, what the hell, off to the polls it is.

it's unitarianism

Hey, seeing as Czardas is in the lead, if my nomination wins, do I get anything?
Like a mud-filled beanbag, perhaps?

Myrth

it's unitarianism
Nah, there's still only one who'll win, no matter for how many I vote. We could have run-off elections into eternity, really.

Peechland

Hey, seeing as Czardas is in the lead, if my nomination wins, do I get anything?
Like a mud-filled beanbag, perhaps?

That's up to Czardas. He seems to be fond of handing out Untimely Doom.

But that can be fun too. :)

[violet] sees all and knows all. Bow down before her!

Hey, seeing as Czardas is in the lead, if my nomination wins, do I get anything?
Like a mud-filled beanbag, perhaps?
Sure, here you are *throws* :p

You must have seen that one coming, really now.

That's up to Czardas. He seems to be fond of handing out Untimely Doom.

But that can be fun too. :)
Hey, I'm a member of his cult. Why do you think I nominated him? I'd've been crucified (possibly literally) otherwise.

[violet] sees all and knows all. Bow down before her!

But [violet] is already a god(essentialy), so voting for her achieves nothing.

Sure, here you are *throws* :p

You must have seen that one coming, really now.
Well *dodges* yes, I did. :p

Well *dodges* yes, I did. :p
Oh, write what you want, we both know you didn't dodge. Not in time, you didn't.

Oh, write what you want, we both know you didn't dodge. Not in time, you didn't.
Whatever you say Wittig. :p
Ah, the power of the effortless comeback. That's the last time I'll use it, I swear. Unless you're really pissing me off, or Czardas forces me to.

Goof, even though I seconded Czardas. If Czar wins, I'm in trouble... *hides*

Myrth for God!

Wait, I nominated three people and now I can only vote for one?

Can't you have a trinity? The Christians do.

What?! Nobody nominated me?!

Well, I guess that I'll have to vote for [violet] since she's already my goddess (or at least she'll smite me if I don't say so).

What?! Nobody nominated me?!

You give off more of a "powerful minion" buzz.

LG gets my vote in hopes that I won't recieve an atomic wedgie when he takes the throne

I voted for myself (because I am pathetic)

LG gets my vote in hopes that I won't recieve an atomic wedgie when he takes the throne

No promises. Just like the current Administration, I listen to all prayers, but I don't answer all prayers. :)

No promises. Just like the current Administration, I listen to all prayers, but I don't answer all prayers. :)
In that case, I continue my normal methods of dealing with god/s

*hides under the covers, rocking back and forth singing "it's a small world"*

EDIT: I wonder what your friends would say...I see it going something like this:
"We totally duct taped that new god to another dude back when he was mortal"

In that case, I continue my normal methods of dealing with god/s

*hides under the covers, rocking back and forth singing "it's a small world"*

EDIT: I wonder what your friends would say...I see it going something like this:
"We totally duct taped that new god to another dude back when he was mortal"

That's also, more or less where the similarities will end:

For instance: Everybody would know there was a God. There'd be little room for doubt. :)

In that case, I continue my normal methods of dealing with god/s

*hides under the covers, rocking back and forth singing "it's a small world"*

EDIT: I wonder what your friends would say...I see it going something like this:
"We totally duct taped that new god to another dude back when he was mortal"

For the most part, I gave as good as I got in those days. Often better. But if necessary, I will be in a position to even old scores, won't I? :D

But [violet] is already a god(essentialy), so voting for her achieves nothing.
You could argue the same thing about me.

But I like the popularity contests, so what the hell. ;)

For the most part, I gave as good as I got in those days. Often better. But if necessary, I will be in a position to even old scores, won't I? :D
haha...I weep for your friends nearly as much as I weep for your enemies.

I seem to remember you wanting to build a moat around someones house. How about putting them on an island in the north Atlantic? Or better, another planet?

haha...I weep for your friends nearly as much as I weep for your enemies.

I seem to remember you wanting to build a moat around someones house. How about putting them on an island in the north Atlantic? Or better, another planet?

Pocket dimensions. :)

As far as enemies, I wouldn't know. They tended to vanish. :)

Ah...a toss-up between Pure Metal and Kanabia...

*flips coin*

Kanabia gets my vote...sorry PM. :p

Pure Metal for godhood!
woohoo!! :fluffle:

and fluffles to all ye 7 who hath voted for....uh... me :fluffle:


you'll all be getting special goddy cookies *nods* ;)

Haha! My greatness is so great, people can't see me for all the great greatness in front of my gre...

Er... Lunatic. My motto: Always vote for the insane one.

Haha! My greatness is so great, people can't see me for all the great greatness in front of my gre...

Er... Lunatic. My motto: Always vote for the insane one.
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aetsch/cheeky-smiley-005.gif

None of them...?

None of them...?

Don't fret. We are voting for the next God. Sadly, there is no word yet from the current Administration as to when the position may be vacant. :p

i just realised... should TCG not be an option :confused:

The next God, eh? So this God has to die?

No, I think it's more of a vacation. A long one. A very long one. So I vote for the one with the most experience.

The next God, eh? So this God has to die?

Or step down.

...or a coup. ;)

i just realised... should TCG not be an option :confused:

TCG is near retirement age and *leans closer to whisper* I'm not entirely sure his mental generator is running at full power anymore. *nod*

looks like right now czardas and i are gonna have to duke it out for 3rd place... *puts mittens on*

looks like right now czardas and i are gonna have to duke it out for 3rd place... *puts mittens on*

Still too close to call. I'm going to give it another day before claiming vic... er... declaring a winner. :)

TCG is near retirement age and *leans closer to whisper* I'm not entirely sure his mental generator is running at full power anymore. *nod*
With a fair amount of certainty I can say: HER!

With a fair amount of certainty I can say: HER!
I'm not so sure. I find it hard to believe that any woman can screw up that badly.

On the other hand, God is evil enough to be female. :p

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aetsch/cheeky-smiley-005.gif
one more till palm springs.:mad: *sigh* you and those damn smileys ;)

Go PM! :fluffle: then I can be a goddess, yay.... :D

Go PM! :fluffle: then I can be a goddess, yay.... :D
you're already a goddess in my eyes! ;) :D

but it can't hurt to make it official with the mortals :fluffle:

edit: what? no white text!? i'm dissapointed! :P

I was going to try and take the position of the next Almighty with an armed coup, but then I remembered that it had been tried before. :(

This poll proves I am the antichrist. No-one vote for me, I quite like the position.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I voted for PM. I mean, he can't come first (being not God but Jesus and all) but he deserves to be at the right hand of LG.

This poll proves I am the antichrist. No-one vote for me, I quite like the position.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I voted for PM. I mean, he can't come first (being not God but Jesus and all) but he deserves to be at the right hand of LG.
hurrah!! jesus loves you man ;) :p

so jesus and the antichrist going out to get pissed... sounds like fun :P

you're already a goddess in my eyes! ;) :D

but it can't hurt to make it official with the mortals :fluffle:

edit: what? no white text!? i'm dissapointed! :P
hehehe :D :fluffle:
hey - one of the fun things about the way of the white text is tricking people into thinking there will be white text, mwahahaha :P

hehehe :D :fluffle:
hey - one of the fun things about the way of the white text is tricking people into thinking there will be white text, mwahahaha :P
:D :fluffle:
you trick me all the time :P
tease ;-)

one more till palm springs.:mad: *sigh* you and those damn smileys ;)

I have always been the NS God of Smilies. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezial/Fool/inc.gif

so can i claim my place as NS's demigod yet? ;)

so can i claim my place as NS's demigod yet? ;)
Only after you down 10 pints of super strength lager in 10 minutes. I mean, only a God or George Best could do that, and George is in no position to drink it.

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

If it's anyone but Lune (LG) I'm forming a seperate universe, where we can have our God, and eat him too.

Wait,.. that didn't come out right..!

WAIT,.. even THAT didn't come out right..!!

You know what I mean..!! Filthy FILTHY minds..!!


-Iakeo

Difficult choice.

All the more so because a deity should be something taken on faith that only the High Annointed Poohbahs can commune with while us rabble wait for The Word to be delivered. And all of these options are known entities.


I mean, Christianity as an organized religion would go to shit if EVERYONE could just IM God and wait for a response..... there would be no need to hang out together on Sunday mornings to compare clothes.

:p

Only after you down 10 pints of super strength lager in 10 minutes. I mean, only a God or George Best could do that, and George is in no position to drink it.

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
does the poll mean nothing!? :eek:


but ok... i could do half of that... so seeing how i'm only going for demigod status thats ok right? LG has to do the full 10 pints *nods* ;)

does the poll mean nothing!? :eek:


but ok... i could do half of that... so seeing how i'm only going for demigod status thats ok right? LG has to do the full 10 pints *nods* ;)
Technically I'm the Anti-God at the moment (keep it that way people - Tribes for Republican president '08!) so I say you have to drink all 10. LG has to drink 20.

BWAH HA HA HA HAH!!!

Tribes for Republican president '08!
lmao!! damn. funny. :D :p

*chugs 10 pints*
done!!
(ah its so easy on the internet... virtual pints go down a treat ;))

Well, as of now I have a 5 vote lead. Not exactly a runaway, but that's a good thing. Because if anything should happen to me before I can take office...(many people have prophesied my doom in rather creative ways) at least there will be people quaified to take the position.

My first act as Supreme Being will be to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian crisis. That's always been a pet-peeve of mine. I'm going to erase Jerusalem. All the people in Jerusalem will be displaced to the edge of the city and where Jerusalem used to be will be a big round hill covered with dandelions.

I'll wait 2 weeks for the political and religous chaos to really set in.

Then I'll transform every weapon more complicated than a bow-and-arrow into yummy cinnamon buns for a 200 mile radius around the hill. Any complex weapons brought into this zone will immediately become warm and tasty cinnamon buns too. This will forever become known as the Bun Zone.

As major religions of the world reel at this latest development, I'll vacation in the Caribbean as I prepare for phase 2...

LG... as your number one ([/captain pickard]) i have your crack pipe pre-warmed for your holiday in the carribean. i fluffed all the pillows for you too, your godliness, just the way you like em.

i'm off on my holiday to billingshurst for the next couple of centuries. cya suckers!!

whoo hoo 5 votes, I wish this was a public poll so I could see who they were.

The hell? Oh well, I picked violet.

Well, as of now I have a 5 vote lead. Not exactly a runaway, but that's a good thing. Because if anything should happen to me before I can take office...(many people have prophesied my doom in rather creative ways) at least there will be people quaified to take the position.

My first act as Supreme Being will be to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian crisis. That's always been a pet-peeve of mine. I'm going to erase Jerusalem. All the people in Jerusalem will be displaced to the edge of the city and where Jerusalem used to be will be a big round hill covered with dandelions.

I'll wait 2 weeks for the political and religous chaos to really set in.

Then I'll transform every weapon more complicated than a bow-and-arrow into yummy cinnamon buns for a 200 mile radius around the hill. Any complex weapons brought into this zone will immediately become warm and tasty cinnamon buns too. This will forever become known as the Bun Zone.

As major religions of the world reel at this latest development, I'll vacation in the Caribbean as I prepare for phase 2...


Oooo,.. Oooo... How about this:



Mecca and Medina..!!

Clover and the "Marshmallow Zone"..!!



The Vatican...!!

Violets and the "Flan Zone"..!!



What shall we do with Weehawken, my lord..!!?


-Iakeo

Oooo,.. Oooo... How about this:



Mecca and Medina..!!

Clover and the "Marshmallow Zone"..!!



The Vatican...!!

Violets and the "Flan Zone"..!!


What shall we do with Weehawken, my lord..!!?


-Iakeo

Well, the nice thing is that nobody fighs muchover Mecca, Medina and The Vatican. Jerusalem, on the other hand, is perhaps the UNholiest crust of dirt on the planet. It's sickening how many people have died over that place. And that will end. Permanently. :)

Besides, I suspect that once The Bun Zone happens, the major religions of the world are really going to have some 'splainin to do. Most of the really devout people are going to realize that the disappearance of Jerusalem is a sign that God is tired of the crap.

I'll spend a month sipping margaritas on the beach while they figure all of that out.

Then comes phase 2:

I create a Dyson Sphere in a distant part of the galaxy. This Dyson sphere will have an earth-equivalent ecosphere and near-limitless variety of earth flora and fauna. But no people. Yet.

See, if there is one truth in the world is that religious nuts need an audience. After all, Osama Bin Laden wasn't on board one of those airplanes, was he? The leaders of Hamas aren't the one blowing themselves up in Israeli shopping malls. One-by-one, the real trouble-makers of the religious world are going to be sent to the Dyson Sphere. Where they will have plenty to live on. Fresh fruit to eat, fresh air to breathe and nobody for tens of thousands of miles in any direction to talk to. Because if there's one thing Dyson Spheres have plenty of, it's space. :D

Now we come to the entertaining part of the show:

I'm going to make Australia spin. SLowly, of course. Any geological or meterological cataclysms will be avoided. But Australia will slowly rotate in place. Say, one complete rotation every 522 days or so.

I'm going to make everybody on earth over three years of age literate in their native language(or the nearest written equivalent).

I'm going to create all sorts of odd new weather effects. Mud rains. Marshmallow hail. Fog that's thick enough to actually impede movement.

Water will become a little bit thicker. Jus a bit. To give it some body. *nod*

I'm going to triple the amount of mud on Earth.

Certain sections of forest and rain forest will have their growth rates dramatically increased. New trees will actually grow sofast that they will topple bulldozers left overnight, reclaim roads and make it impossible for people to keep the land clear. The Amazon Rainforest will be retrograded to the way it was 50 years ago.

It will be discovered that a hormone produced by the human sex organs destroys the HIV virus. The more intercourse a person has, the healthier he or she gets. Daily masturbation becomes a health trend.

Pregnancy will become an act of consent. Only if the male and female desire a child will pregnancy occur as a result of intercourse.

I'm open to other ideas.

- much snippage -

Well looky there - that doesn't sound bad at all! And here I was all worried and plotting your early demise...

The Spinning of Australia seems like fun.

I'm not so hot on the mud, but, eh, whatever floats your boat. Of course, I was assuming you'd had enough mud in your face to lessen the appeal of the idea, considering your desastrous performance in the Mud-filled Bean Bag Battles of yore.

Oh, and one last thing: don't mess with the water - you never know what unintended consequences you'll run in. Maybe you'll end up accidentally dooming the whole planet?

Well, the nice thing is that nobody fighs muchover Mecca, Medina and The Vatican. Jerusalem, on the other hand, is perhaps the UNholiest crust of dirt on the planet. It's sickening how many people have died over that place. And that will end. Permanently. :)

Besides, I suspect that once The Bun Zone happens, the major religions of the world are really going to have some 'splainin to do. Most of the really devout people are going to realize that the disappearance of Jerusalem is a sign that God is tired of the crap.

While those goofy mortals WILL think "something" pretty astounding is
happening, those same goofy mortals have a tenacious tendency toward
ignoring what stands in the way of their short-term desires, and I suspect
that they'd move the warfare to a place 200 miles and 5 feet from Jerusalem
and continue the "goofiness".

Nothing against your masterful plan, my lord, but those damned mortals are
just TOO freakin' stupid (on the whole) to catch even your not-overly-subtle
hint..!


I'll spend a month sipping margaritas on the beach while they figure all of that out.

Then comes phase 2:

I create a Dyson Sphere in a distant part of the galaxy. This Dyson sphere will have an earth-equivalent ecosphere and near-limitless variety of earth flora and fauna. But no people. Yet.

See, if there is one truth in the world is that religious nuts need an audience. After all, Osama Bin Laden wasn't on board one of those airplanes, was he? The leaders of Hamas aren't the one blowing themselves up in Israeli shopping malls. One-by-one, the real trouble-makers of the religious world are going to be sent to the Dyson Sphere. Where they will have plenty to live on. Fresh fruit to eat, fresh air to breathe and nobody for tens of thousands of miles in any direction to talk to. Because if there's one thing Dyson Spheres have plenty of, it's space. :D

I'm not thrilled with the cost/benefit ratio of this "solution", but not only is it
NOT my money, it's being done gratis by you, your worship, so I suppose my
objections as to the efficiiency of your "plan" are rather silly.

Though,.. I will feel rather sorry for the squirrels and other potential "recruits"
of these mad-persons. You DO realize they WILL try to organize a portion of
the local fauna (and possibly flora) to combat the "evil" other-fauna (and
other flora) in the area in some Disney-like "holy war", right?


Now we come to the entertaining part of the show:

I'm going to make Australia spin. SLowly, of course. Any geological or meterological cataclysms will be avoided. But Australia will slowly rotate in place. Say, one complete rotation every 522 days or so.

OK. I'm loathe to say this to the supreme being, even one I voted for, but
this will just be TOO HARD on the locals of that (already weird) place we
lovingly call Oz.

No windows will be free of the threat of direct exposure of the sun.

There will be NO ROOM that is the designated "sleep it off" room..!!!

This will be an unholy burden on the simple folk of Oz, as they have enough
trouble telling their asses from holes in the ground when regularly and
thoroughly pissed (smashed/blitzed/soaked for you non-speakers).

It's just TOO CRUEL..!!

How about if, instead, we just mirror-image the continent latitudinally (east-
west) every few weeks?

This would not be overly disconcerting for the folks of Oz. They're used to a
similar process now, after combining vast quantities of the local beer, banging
each others heads together while screaming "Ozzy, ozzy, ozzy.. Oy, oy,
OY..!", while ingesting rather oily deep-fried wallaby.

Please, my lord,.. I beseech you..!!! Spare the wretched wankers the early
morning sun! It's just too cruel..!!


I'm going to make everybody on earth over three years of age literate in their native language(or the nearest written equivalent).

OK,.. liking that one. Unless the language is french. Then I suggest
substituting the variety of Urdu that they speak in that one curious little
village just north of the big red rock, near the mountai pass that goes
nowhere but seems like it should, 143 miles east-north-east of Kabul.

I'm rather fond of the mayor of that town, and he'd like me to "pull some
strings" (when he found out I had voted for the winner in the "Who's yo
GOD!?" contest) to make friends with some people who actually know how to
wipe their asses.


I'm going to create all sorts of odd new weather effects. Mud rains. Marshmallow hail. Fog that's thick enough to actually impede movement.

Messy,.. but I like it. What are we gonna do about the ants?


Water will become a little bit thicker. Jus a bit. To give it some body. *nod*

Messing with universal constants MAY do some weird stuff that even YOU, oh
mighty and majestic, hadn't planned on,.. but then,.. maybe that's part of
the "plan"..!!

I bow to your omnevolence..!! (Whatever that means.)


I'm going to triple the amount of mud on Earth.

Cool. And potentially refreshing..!! Should bring down the outrageous cost of
commodities-traded mud to reasonable levels,.. such as they were in the dark
ages, when everyone could afford to be filthy.


Certain sections of forest and rain forest will have their growth rates dramatically increased. New trees will actually grow sofast that they will topple bulldozers left overnight, reclaim roads and make it impossible for people to keep the land clear. The Amazon Rainforest will be retrograded to the way it was 50 years ago.

Yes,.. and tree-houses will become fairground rides.


It will be discovered that a hormone produced by the human sex organs destroys the HIV virus. The more intercourse a person has, the healthier he or she gets. Daily masturbation becomes a health trend.

Wait,.. That's NOT true now..? I have this pamphlet from <censored> that
says that already..! Have they been having me pull my chain, all this time..?

DAMN THEM my lord..!!


Pregnancy will become an act of consent. Only if the male and female desire a child will pregnancy occur as a result of intercourse.

Where you gonna put the "go" switch..? Just curious from a purely "logistical"
standpoint, great and powerful one.


I'm open to other ideas.


-Iakeo